Yip it gets worse, the boy never got any help just abuse and degradation not only from police but also from mental health services.
I had arguments with Victim support and the Family Violence team idiot, both of them saying they agreed with everything I was saying about how bad mental health services were but I shouldn’t get upset with them they were only the messengers. WTF does that mean. We are allowing mental health services to neglect and abuse people – drive them to suicide – even though people are entitled to care under the law. Why aren’t the police doing anything about them not following the law?? They see the results of this neglect and rejection every single day. I wonder if it was the same in NAZI Germany when they started persecuting the mentally ill, gay and Jewish.
It took me almost a week to get the windows fixed as nobody believed that I would pay the bill? One glass guy came to my house saying he hadn’t received any emails confirming he was to do the job and get paid by Victim Support. He also told me that emails from the budget service didn’t count and he no longer did work on rental properties – WTF. I assured him it wasn’t the budget service that was emailing him and the reason the windows were broken is a suicidal ex-boyfriend lost the plot and smashed them, terrorized us and tried to hang himself in the garage. The guy became apologetic but still said he had no email and wouldn’t do anything. I started to cry and told him I would sort it out. I closed the door and did my best to arrange something through WINZ (I have an amazing case manager) and someone else to do the windows and get the email to them. I see that glassman around town and sometimes if I go to the karaoke, now I know how he feels about poor people in rental accommodation my reaction to him isn’t going to be good.
Today I am sitting at a friends, too scared to go home as I sent some pretty desperate emails last night I was feeling so unwell and so angry. This morning there was a knock on the door early and I froze, scared it was either the suicidal boy ignoring the trespass notice or three police there to insult, degrade and abuse me for the emails – it was a courier package for my daughter.
I’m also freaking out I don’t know how I can life on $120 less every week??? I have no money to move and I don’t want to because I have been forced to move so many times it makes me really unwell. Plus my teenagers need somewhere to come home to if they need to???
Why does everybody know how bad mental health services are but nobody does anything about it?
Also I have hopefully got some help for the boy- the police are going to try and get the judge to force him into counselling through Stopping Violence Services but they can’t force mental health services to do anything. I have got help for my daughter and her friends (some who are also the boys friends) in case he kills himself or there is some other drama – through the school. But when it comes to me, even though I already have serious mental health issues – I get absolutely nothing. The police are focused on my daughter but it is me that has suffered the worst abuse (he sent a very abusive text) me who has to deal with the broken windows, me who is supposed to protect us, me who is responsible for the house. I hope my landlord doesn’t find out – he’ll probably evict us, we’re the victims but we’ll be blamed – I know most of my neighbours already do.
This is how we treat all abused people, like they are a stain on our perfect lives and when they are going through shit, the community hates you more, I know Carterton is like every other town in this country.
This is what happens when an abused child grows up without the health care and support they need. I never realised when he came here just how screwed up he was, I knew he needed guidance, respect and understanding but he is one of those abused boys who will become an abusive man. Although my daughter and I are away from him, as soon as he latches on to some other girl he is going to do the same thing – become controlling and more and more abusive until she tries to dump him then he will try and commit suicide.
I overheard him say once that I was the only adult that had EVER treated him with respect – I had known him for such a short time and my heart arched when I heard that. I met his abusive father once and he degraded him right in front of me – for not reason, I stood up for him of course. Now the father knows he has tried to commit suicide he has blamed me and my daughter for it – WTF. I would love to go to his work – he is some well paid manager at the local Breadcraft bakery – and tell everybody there just what the sleazebag is like and what he did to hurt his son and create this abusive young man.
A policeman told me this was just him trying to manipulate my daughter – I assured him it was far more serious and deepseated than that and directly related to his own abusive and neglected upbringing. I live with being suicidal I know what it is like when you get in that place. Before I was raped, the person was found not guilty and I spent the next 10 years being abused by ACC and others I had never had a suicidal thought in my life and never understood it. I also never understood how anybody could kill someone – I do now – people are being driven to violence after years of oppressive and corrupt governments.
New Zealand is a sick sick place, all pretty and well presented on the face of it but underneath in the ever increasing Darklands of this shit hole of degradation, abuse, abusive mental health services, abusive justice services towards disabled (mentally injured) traumatised people. Our leaders are completely out of touch with reality and so are those agencies who are supposed to protect us.
What is currently happening in this country is the beginnings of how every great empire has ever fallen, the rich and powerful take to much, persecute innocent people and then degrade and control anybody they don’t like, including the poor, disabled etc.
Suicidal stuff is coming over me like waves, that feeling of complete hopelessness that you know will only be relieved by killing yourself. The hatred towards those who are persecuting you (yes I do know what persecution means I have a dictionary), how much you want them to hurt like you hurt so they will understand and help people. In between the suicidal stuff I’m trying to get back focused on my judicial review but it is hard, I’ve written a letter to the Chief Coronor after his comments about suicide stats a few days ago – though he says them all the time and nobody does anything.
It’s like some game they play – and why would a judge give a shit anyway – at least a third of the people going through the justice system at the moment have mental health issues – which of course is blatant discrimination on the basis of disability. The government refuses to provide professional and appropriate care to so many people with mental health issues and when they start flipping out because of it the judiciary punish them for it – a sick sick country. The saddest thing of course is there are laws saying people are entitled to this care but there is absolutely no way of accessing it without a lawyer – and a bloody good one.
Tired now, might have a bath,
OH GOD I WISH I WAS DEAD
SHOT WITH A BULLET THROUGH THE HEAD
WITH HEALTH SERVICES REFUSING TO CARE
SAYING THERE’S NOTHING FOR YOU NOWHERE
