Fight against neo-liberal corruption in ACC, mental health & police – PART 2

8 September 2013

Attention: Secretary for Justice

Mr Andrew Bridgman

And others

 

Dear Mr Bridgman,

 

PROOF OF CRIMINAL NEGLIGENCE IN HEALTH, WELFARE & JUSTICE SERVICES FOR ABUSED & MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE DUE TO IMMORAL ABUSIVE NEO-LIBERAL POLITICAL THEORIES- PART 2

 

Rise Above It – I wanna vomit

No Place for Violence – I wanna chuck

It’s Not OK – I have no stomach for

CAUSE NO-ONE ACTUALLY GIVES A FK

 

This poem is one called Vomit in The Black Book of poetry, please read, also note some of the strong language I use is how people in my culture speak when they are really really angry.  Any attempt to discredit or ignore what I am telling you because of a few completely valid swear words is discrimination.

 

This second letter has been like giving birth, a very painful birth with a labour that took 11 years of contractions and is now at its height and all consuming.  And of course I am giving birth to multiple babies alone, except for another woman in labour like me (Michelle).  I am also feeling a lot more philosophical and am prepared to stand up for my religious cultural and ethical rights in this letter.  As I sit here preparing to start I am petrified 11 years of information and analysis, 11 years of disappointment and persecution/neglect at the hands of people who we are supposed to trust, 11 years of dealing with neo-liberal discrimination and bigotry of NAZI proportions – all trying to come out in one document.

 

The nausea is overwhelming, it’s part of my stress disorder, I have an eating disorder called bulimia.  I know other sexually abused people who have eating disorders, like anorexia and and over-eating.  Eating disorders are a symptom of Complex PTSD, so is violence, anxiety, phobias, addictions, compulsions, suicidality and homocidality, plus a few more.  Please refer to any medical information on this disorder, Bessell van der Kolk is a leading authority in this area but there are many.

 

Complex Post Traumatic Stress disorder was identified as a disorder in its own right after the study of war veterans and people who had been held prisoner and tortured for long periods of time.  The very fact any person in New Zealand has this disorder (who is not currently being raped or beaten regularly) is in itself proof that the treatment care and rehabilitation being provided is abusive torture.  Which I can confirm, so can Michelle and many other people I talk to while protesting or working on social media.

 

Nigel Latter a celebrity psychologist on television said last year that neglect is just as psychologically damaging as physical abuse.  I can confirm this is a fact and over the years mental health services have been decimated by neo-liberals, under the guise of human rights, neglect is what they have done.  When an 18yr old dairy farmer working a 12 day week for minimum wage tries to hang himself in my garage, gets taken away by police and told by mental health he is not mentally ill and so there are no services – you know there is something seriously wrong.  What human being in their right mind would send someone who has almost died away?  Only two weeks ago I read a news report saying how many dairy farmers were committing suicide.  The police HATE mental health in the Wairarapa but most of them don’t mind insulting and degrading me/or other disabled people for wasting their time when someone concerned persons them saying they fear for my life.  In my case it is the people I am begging for help from, who are supposed to by law be helping me – they don’t.

 

Complex PTSD is a serious life-threatening traumatic stress disorder with a very high rate of death and extreme psychological suffering.  My book of poetry hopefully conveys the level of suffering, eg Mean Hearted People

 

…..How I wish I could touch you and then

You would know how much pain I go through

Then you might help me get the rehabilitation

I am legally entitled to….

 

At the moment I keep getting the story of The Emperor’s New Clothes popping into my mind and I am the little boy being honest about what they are seeing and I know other people are seeing too but ignoring.  I see who the swindlers are stealing all the money for something that isn’t really there (mental health is just marketing, telling people they must help themselves and/or drugging people into submission).  That I can apply this story to the current situation for abused/mentally injured and mentally ill people who are being persecuted by the government for needing the professional health care they are entitled to, again makes me nauseated.  I know the science, I know the law and I know what is going on in this country is a gross miscarriage of justice.

 

Until I can no longer live with the constant suicidal thoughts going through my head and end this hell on earth I will fight, I will fight with everything I have, I will write, I will beg, I will scream, I will hunger strike, I will talk, I will protest in the streets and in the places those supposed to protect us work.  I will also never ever stop writing to you and demanding you take responsibility for this injustice and act to stop it!  And even if the day of suicide comes because you havn’t listened to me, I will make sure as many people as possible know why I did it.

 

Of course our judiciary know about the neglect and persecution already.   On one of my earlier chalking protests I was outside the Supreme Court in Wellington (where I think human rights cases bought by citizens against the government should be heard) with a few friends.  Two well dressed young men came out and asked why we were protesting, so I told them.  They told me that the numbers of mentally ill people in the justice system was currently being looked at by the judiciary and was of concern.  This is of course a violation of the Human Rights and Bill of Rights Acts on the basis of disability.  Bill of Rights because this is inhumane and cruel torture, people are being experimented on by immoral corrupt neo-liberals who want these people to rely on their own resources to live (which has no medical/scientific support) and the rest of the country is being brainwashed to hate degrade and ostracize anybody that does becomes violent as a result of their disability and severe neglect.  There is an Act currently going through Parliament designed to persecute people who flip out and hurt a child for the rest of their lives – they don’t get the health care they are entitled to, just persecution.

 

I know first hand what persecution is, I have learnt the hard way, as soon as I use the word of course I am discredited, people refuse to believe the extent the government are prepared to go to in order to stop people getting mental health care.  This is especially true for sexual and physical abuse victims who are the SOLE responsibility of ACC and we all know how bad ACC are.  It is quite bizarre that everybody thinks and verbalises this to me but when I relate it to services that are damaging and abusive for sensitive claimants they refuse to believe it.  Bessell van der Kolk explains it best.

 

“SOCIAL ISOLATION VERSUS INTEGRATION

 

Reason and objectivity are not the primary determinants of society’s reactions to traumatised people.  Rather, as noted earlier, society’s reactions seem to be primarily conservative impulses in the service of maintaining the beliefs that the world is fundamentally just, that people can be in charge of their lives, and that bad things only happen to people who deserve them.

 

Bearers of bad tidings are generally considered dangerous; thus, societies tend to be suspicious that victims will contaminate the social fabric, undermine self-reliance, consume social resources and live of the strong.  The weak are a liability and after an initial period of compassion, are vulnerable to be singled out as parasites and carriers of social malaise.

 

Society can only make a commitment to victims if it accepts these two ideas: (1) that victims are not responsible for the fact they were traumatised; and (2) that if victims are not helped to deal with the memories of their trauma, they will become violent and anxious people, unreliable and easily distracted workers, inattentive parents, and/or people who use drugs and alcohol to help them cope with unbearable feelings…..”

 

Bessell is an American and they have been far more abusive and neglectful of their most vulnerable citizens for a lot longer than New Zealand.  As NZ media and our leaders have aligned themselves so strongly with America and adopted many of their ‘witchhunt’ mentality this is why we are only now seeing crimes more common in there.  In my opinion our incarceration statistics, which are now 2nd in the world behind America, are an example of this.

 

I am 48 I was bought up in a culture a lot different to what I am seeing today and I demand my cultural rights to be respected and accommodated as any person would, and is entitled to.  Inequality is not my culture, greed, hatred and degradation of the poor, corruption, governments ignoring the people and ignoring the law (eg ACC law), not my culture.  Most Maori of course like to blame all European New Zealanders, when there are thousands of us that find neo-liberalism abhorant and immoral.  I have as many Maori friends as Pakeha.  Like I tell them, this is a class war not a race war and rich and powerful Maori treat poor disabled and powerless Maori just as badly as Pakeha treat their poor disabled and powerless.  Although I have Maori friends that believe Maori mental health services are worse than others.  With the government propaganda machine ensuring people know the ‘bad’ statistics about Maori, they incite dissension envy and hate in our community.  Which goes unchecked thanks to our media.

 

Another quote from Bessell about the part artists can play in this issue follows and has inspired me to continue trying to make my creative works public at every opportunity (I have been ostracized from the local arts community for what I do, story to follow another time).  From other studies I also know that during trauma blood flow to the right side of the brain is significantly increased and decreased to the left.  Right brain is creative, left brain is communication – hence why when I am really stressed all I want to do is draw and why often I cannot speak when dealing with the authorities.  In my last letter I begged that if I am incarcerated by the police again, even for a short time that I could have paper and pen, as it is psychological torture to leave someone like me isolated with nothing to do.

 

Another extremely important piece of scientific evidence that proves beyond doubt that traumatised people are NOT responsible for their actions is tests done of brain activity in traumatised people.  Unfortunately I cannot find the reference to this but I am sure it is available with some investigation.  A few years ago scientists measured brain (electrical) activity on traumatised people.  The results showed that traumatised people’s brains do not fire in the neo-cortex where decisions/choices are made, they are most active in the Amygdala (instinct brain) and limbic part of the brain (where emotions are held).  So the propaganda the government produced saying ‘there’s no excuse for child abuse’ is just that propaganda designed to degrade a disabled and very vulnerable group of society.

 

Sociology and social anthropology

 

 

IDEA:  The people I am writing to have the authority and resources to organise phone taps and hide a recording device on someone investigating a crime.  I volunteer to do this, send me into mental health services and the police and I will get you the evidence you require to prove just how abusive the ACC, mental health, police torture wheel of hell is for suicidal stress disordered people.  This may not work because I havn’t got protection from being stripped naked – which is police policy (and not been subjected to constitutional scrutiny) from information I received under the Official Information Act.  The last time I was threatened by police with it I had a massive stress event, started shaking and ended up curled up in a ball in the corner of the processing room hysterical, screaming there was no way those perverts were getting my clothes off me and swearing A LOT.

 

I wish I could have presented what I know face to face, didn’t have to write yet again.  It is so much easier for me to provide the evidence required to challenge any objections or questions people have.  Than just trying to write EVERYTHING down as it pops into my head.  At the moment that is all I can do so I am.

 

…..

 

This morning I woke up with the issue of how to challenge corrupt incompetent and bigoted health professionals (especially mentally disturbed mental health professionals).  That bought flooding back all my worst dealings with health professionals, the degradation, the lies, the rejection and abuse when I was so desperately hurt and needed them so much – and so did my children.  I will try and discuss some of the worst episodes but it is traumatising and ‘breaks my heart’ all over again that people, who are given authority & power over me by law, could get away with such cruel, immoral and unprofessional conduct.  Conduct I know to be criminally negligent, politically motivated and I would expect several corrupt ‘assessors’ within ACC to be prosecuted for criminal negligence.

 

I looked up corrupt in the dictionary yesterday, I often do that just to confirm that my words are correct.  It is the Oxford dictionary I had to buy for my law studies in 2001, it is well used.  People get angry and discredit me when I use words like corrupt, torture and persecution but I know what is happening to me and many others.  Last year I collected together the list of words I use to describe how we are being treated.  It was surreal and confronting, I will add corrupt to the list below, now I know its true meaning.

 

Change tact, freaking out – one of the things I have evaluated and tried to understand over the past 11 years was why was the care for me/us is so abusive, so inadequate and so different to the treatment care rehabilitation and justice services we are promised by laws, ‘marketing’ brochures and politicians.

 

The greatest clue was a documentary I saw on television a few years ago about a famous experiment (in the 50s I think), however I am not sure of the name of it or the scientist who performed it.  Anyway in this experiment a group of average people were taken off the street and asked to participate in an experiment.  They had set up a situation where they were asked to administer an electric shock of ever increasing pain to the victim and were given some bogus scientific reason as to why (I can’t recall what it was).  The victim was an actor they could only hear through a microphone, who over time got increasingly louder and obviously in extreme physical pain, begging them to stop, until finally he pretended to die.

 

In the room with the person was a man in a white coat, taking notes, he kept reassuring the person this was a valid experiment and to continue, no matter what the person was hearing from the victim.  60% of the people that were put through the experiment went to the point of killing the person.  This was an experiment about the influence of authority on people’s behaviour and just what they are prepared to do to others because someone in authority said so – no matter how immoral it was.  This is the most serious issue in ACC, mental health and the police today, this is what is killing us and allowing the corrupting influence of cruel immoral neo-liberal political theories into our health, welfare and justice systems.  It is also how the NAZIs rose to power while intelligent educated people stood back and did nothing, or even participated in the persecution.

 

This is what is happening in ACC, mental health and other government (or government funded) organisations.  It is causing the suffering and suicide of thousands of people, I deal with those at the front line who I know are being influenced in this way, it is frightening.  Especially when you have educated yourself and know what you are entitled to under the law.  You can tell these people as many facts as you like, they take the word of authority not you, often apologetically even, but they leave you suicidal and severely dysfunctional (with the responsibility of children) and think it is OK.

 

Over the years and thousands of phone calls I have seen a pattern to the personality types ACC and mental health employ (the police are a slightly different story).  In fact I believe the current ACC case manager they have assigned me has a psychological disability, a speech impediment (which sounded like she was either on heavy medication or just ‘slow’).

 

The threat of unemployment has contributed significantly to this corruption where money and advancement for the most corrupted (often neo-liberal – National Act voters) of employees in ACC is standard practice.  I worked for ACC in 2000 as a temp, relevant experiences from that time I can call on are as follows:

 

Firstly Ruth Dyson was Minister and was caught drunk driving – I know staff at ACC were devasted and disgusted – all good Helen gave her job back as soon as she could.  I worked in funding in pricing administering contracts to businesses, at the time the manager got a $30,000 bonus for cutting costs – he bought a boat.  At the same time it was all over the media how little call centre staff were getting.  The woman I replaced while on leave was an amazing woman who had worked for ACC for 30 years – she told me. “All the good people leave”.  My analysis of this situation is that ACC is run by the dregs of our workforce – which is true – it is run by those who are most compliant to authority and corrupted by neo-liberal political theories with no basis in medical or scientific fact.

 

ACC was happy with my work and kept asking me to stay on, so a 3 month contract ended up six months.  I have always been involved in politics and at one point went to a NZ First conference in Hamilton over a weekend.  I was seen on the news in the audience.  When I returned to work the following week, it was big news where I had been for the weekend.  People knew I had an interest in politics as I used to join in with staff discussions about different current issues and it was plainly obvious that all the staff had right-wing neo-liberal ideals.  They were often abusive and hostile towards Green MPs especially, they ALL hated their jobs, which I found interesting but several told me the money was just too good and they would never get it anywhere else.

 

Corrupt . adj. 1. Willing to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain.  Oxford English dictionary.

 

I have hundreds of emails, letters and phone calls (probably thousands) where I have challenged staff about not following its own laws and processes, quoted sections of the act, discussed medical evidence etc, to no avail.  I had absolutely no authority or say in my health care – which is also a violation of disability and health laws – but that will be discussed at a later time.  In response to these challenges ACC have set up an elaborate but very effective system for ensuring claimants – especially traumatised sensitive claimants are not given the professional health care they are entitled to under the law.

 

This system of neo-liberal control is fundamentally the same as what happened during the rise of the NAZIs in Germany.  A good friend, historian, told me the reason Hitler happened was because of extreme punishments inflicted on Germany after WW I, which lead to poverty and unemployment.  Poverty and unemployment are an accepted consequence of neo-liberalism.  It is required to bring down wages – please refer to Inside NZ – Someone Else’s Country and Mind the Gap documentaries about the Treasury document adopted after Muldoon was ousted in the 80s.  In that document it spells out that wages and welfare are too high to compete in the international marketplace (against people that were being used almost as slaves).  As a result the corrupt neo-liberal government cut welfare and as all the poverty indicators, like disease, poor mental health, violence increased they started a campaign of propaganda to degrade and discredit the suffering & disabled poor.

 

The fundamental principle of neo-liberalism is we are all responsible for ourselves and success in life is completely within our control, irrelevant of circumstance or environment.

 

After WWII the United Nations was created and several very intelligent and enlightened people developed international laws to stop a repeat of the rise of NAZIism.  These are now under documents such as the Declarations on Human Civil and Political rights, documents this country is signed up to and continue to tell the UN that they adhere to – however they do not.  People who realised it was censorship and discrimination of minority groups (who were perceived by some as the cause of poverty and unemployment) that enabled Hitler and his generals to gain so much power and kill so many innocent people.  Remember thousands of Germans died to protect their rights to kill thousands of Jewish, disabled, mentally ill and gay people.  It is naïve to think the current climate of discrimination against the poor, disabled and unemployed (especially abused people with stress disorders who become violent) history is not repeating itself.

 

Of course it is not just the NAZIs, I would suspect it lead to the fall of every rich and powerful empire in human history – all which have eventually been overrun by persecuted peasants – due to this very ugly side to our humanity.  You would think people would learn from history, but as it says in the bible, power and money corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.  In New Zealand parliament is supreme, when they disbanded the Upper House, they introduced other measures to ensure democracy, laws and justice was not able to be corrupted by cruel and immoral groups of people.  Measures like the Auditor-General – I will talk later about my dealings with these revolting people.  Also adoption into NZ law of human civil and political rights as defined under international declarations and administered/upheld by organisations like Health and Disability Commission, Human Rights Commission and office and the Ombudsman.  These are the channels for justice for the poor.  Sadly Human Rights abuses are considered civil law in this country and my attempt to get the police to prosecute ACC and mental health organisations and individuals under criminal law have failed (particularly Section 157 of the Crimes Act).

 

Would any person who is reading these letters be prepared to work for minimum wage, doing a mind-numbingly boring job – like Josh (my daughter’s boyfriend) – working a 12 day working week with 2 days off for a boss who is degrading and abusive?  Is it any wonder he tried to hang himself.

 

The other failures have been the organisations set up to protect citizens from persecution by governments – they do not work and have been corrupted to the point of abusive, towards the very people they are supposed to protect.  I have a few thousands emails and letters of the past 11 years demanding my rights to professional health care and justice provided under law be applied to me.  These letters are available on request or can be accessed through my ACC, mental health, medical files for those who are authorised to access them (refer to my first letter).   All of my protests/occupations/trespasses are from those agencies supposed to protect my rights – they do the opposite.

 

……….

 

While working for ACC in 2000 I also attended a meeting by Garry Wilson (CEO at the time), all staff at head office were ordered to attend in work time.  It was held at the theatre in the National Library, I recall thinking at the time how what I was watching would be important in the future but I didn’t know why.  Mr Wilson started to praise a group of around five senior managers for reaching their objectives and getting rid of a large proportion of ‘the tail’.  I remember thinking yeah but what have you done to people in order for this to happen.  At the time I did not need ACC care so thought nothing more of it.  What I now recognise it as brainwashing and psychological manipulation of people.  By praising and rewarding the behaviour of these senior managers they in turn put pressure on the next level of management who in turn did whatever was necessary, irrelevant of the law and morality to stop people getting the health care they were entitled to under ACC, health, disability, code of rights, human rights and bill of rights laws.  Any thorough investigation of how ACC implemented processes to complicate and confuse claimants over the past 25 years, in order to achieve their objective of saving money, would expose this corruption.

 

There has been some publicity around Bronwyn Pullars case against ACC, she was subjected to dozens of assessments – which is how they psychologically torture you.  What ACC are looking for in these repeated and traumatising assessments is a health professional who will say the person does not need health care.  Once they have found that person they use them as much as they can.  It has also been news that ACC manipulate health providers and do not use those who ‘cost’ them to much.  Health providers lose contracts when they represent their clients, I believe this is what happened in relation to my contact with Adapt Therapy and their refusal to take me back on as a client after I won the first ACC review.  I made a complaint about their refusal and another Occupational therapist who abused and refused to organise the reinstatement of my care.  My complaints were ignored and there was no investigation.  None of the contractors are going to speak out against ACC and lose their jobs or businesses – again the threat of unemployment is used to control the population and establish neo-liberalism.

 

Assessments are a form of psychological torture for me and I have developed an extreme phobia of the process and health professionals as a result – this manifests in serious communication issues.  Communication issues that are supposed to be accommodated under ACC, code of rights and disability laws but are not.

 

On my 11 year journey I have met a handful of health providers that were intelligent and professional.  After seven years of fighting for my rights to professional rehabilitation, in 2009 I was finally given the beginnings of a rehabilitation plan (I have done study in the area of Occupational Therapy).  I had managed through help from the Human Rights Commission (the only time they have ever helped me) to get access to Dr Alan Doris psychiatrist (Nelson), what an amazing, ‘normal’ professional man.  Please refer to the two reports he has done for ACC – that they have now rejected………………….  The story I am about to tell you………………………when I think about what they did to me, giving me all that care I was entitled to then National (John Judge) got in and a 2 ½ year programme was stopped at six months.

 

The care I was getting was, Alan Doris a lead health professional, psychologist Christine Ridding (turned out to be a compliant idiot) 1 hr a week, Occupation Therapist Glenda van der ven Long (Adapt Therapy) an amazing woman and highly professional 2 hrs a week, Donna ? mental health support worker 3 hours a week, 7 hours a week membership of a local gym (to help with reintegration into the community, dealing with stress and my eating disorder) the guys there were amazing and I can get sworn statements about the levels of my dysfunction and the changes they saw in me in those six months.  Also I had a monthly massage paid for by WINZ and organised through my Occupational Therapist.  I asked for massage after the physical exertion at the gym I was becoming unbalanced with anger and needed a calming touch.  The massage therapist I found was also a Buddhist which made the therapy much more meaningful, also he was a good man, and the safe touch of a good man is something everyone abused by a male needs.

 

When ACC decided to stop my care after six months I was devastated and horrified they could do it.  How they did it was firstly they did not consult Alan Doris, they went against the advice of Glenda van der ven Long, against the advice of my GP, the psychologist didn’t think it was a good idea but believed there was nothing she could do against the authority of ACC, the mental health worker and gym instructors were all against it but were ignored.  Glenda even contacted the minister for ACC at the time (not sure who) and tried to get my care reinstated to no avail.

 

I won’t go into to much detail as I have started ticking violently the stress of what happened is so bad.  Needless to say Peter Jansen a corrupt GP employed by ACC who has no qualifications in the area of mental health was the individual to stop my care.  Apparently ACC had used an old report by Anne Walsh that said I had a personality disorder and my family were somehow to blame for my dysfunction after being raped.  It was like being thrown out of a six story building and I became well known to police due to the suicidal behaviour that followed.  Behaviour out of my control but considered by some police, ACC and public mental health services to be attention seeking and there was no chance I was ever going to kill myself.

 

…………………………………….

 

ACC illegally dumped me, caused me huge psychological trauma and undermining all the work my health professionals and I had put in – not to mention the money ACC had paid – all for what?  So cruel immoral corrupt neo-liberals in Parliament and government could cut ACC costs, with no consideration for the costs of welfare payments, accessing social and free health services and police involvement etc.  And not counting the social costs to myself, my children, friends, family and community.

 

When I was receiving the professional rehab plan in 2009 I asked my Occupational Therapist and ACC several times to see Alan Doris as I wanted to discuss six weeks inpatient care to deal with the ‘suicidal’ aspects of my disorder – away from the responsibility of running a home and caring for children – I was refused.

 

I discovered when assessed by Alan after winning the first review that he had waited for ACC to contact him about my care as he believed I was his patient but they never did so he didn’t inquire.  I had also believed he was my psychiatrist after our first meeting/assessment and the implementation of my first professional rehabilitation plan but didn’t have his details to contact him directly – and I probably thought I couldn’t.

 

Once you are rejected by ACC and lose care that you so desperately need you are severely traumatised.  This fear often comes from experiences of the sexual or physical abuse you have suffered.  In my case the fact that the rapist was found not-guilty, even though he admitted to the jury I was asleep when he started raping me, saw me adopt dysfunctional ways of coping.  For example: one of my greatest barriers to work is I can’t do an interview, my subconscious believes that I am being judged and will be rejected so does everything to protect me from the possibility of this.  One of the things Glenda and I had just started working on (it takes months for an abuse victim to trust people) before I was dumped was doing roll-playing of a job interview so I could overcome this debilitating fear.  She also helped with opening challenging mail, while Donna helped with running the household and establishing routines that I was unable to do while traumatised and isolated.

 

From my research I conclude that when man was evolving and for example an animal attacked the group, caused death and trauma, the way people recovered was by co-operation and mirroring traditional behaviour.  In a group some would be stronger than others and restore routines of eating, cleaning etc, those more devastated by the trauma would watch them and start to mirror what they were seeing.  Perhaps those who were good at the start melted down later but by this time those who were dysfunctional at the start had recovered sufficient to take over.  I have many other theories around this but I don’t believe those I am writing to would understand and be as interested in social anthropology as I am.

 

One thing I forgot to mention with Complex PTSD, which is probably the most important, is it creates a very heightened fight, flight and freeze response.  Basic instinct behaviour when you are severely traumatised and working from your amygdala.  Behaviour I have absolutely no ability to control – nobody does.  When I try to explain what it is like I give the example of the part of the brain you use when you swerve without thinking to avoid a car accident.  So in times of trauma for a person with Complex PTSD it includes fighting – even if it is innocent people, flight – running away and avoidance, and freeze – when you are so freaked out you just cannot move.

 

………………………..

 

Have started having a panic attack and want to self-harm, can’t stop ticking, have stuffed my face with a sandwich trying to put it all in my mouth at once, the suicidal thoughts are becoming intrusive, I visualise myself drinking a bottle of bourbon (and I don’t even like alcohol) I need to be numb – I have to stop.

 

Please help me, please hear me, please don’t call the police to come to threaten me to shut up or I will be arrested and stripped naked, please stop what they are doing to me and thousands of other sexually abused and traumatised people.

 

Yours sincerely

 

 

 

JR

PERSECUTED WHISTLEBLOWER

HUMAN SEWAGE LIVING IN THE DARKLANDS

 

Attached for your information are the dictionary definitions of a lot of words I have come to know the true meaning of.   Please note I am unable to proof read this letter so there may be spelling or grammatical errors, these are not a sign of limited intelligence or deceit.

 

 

 

Oxford dictionary definitions that describe human rights violations being perpetrated by the NZ government against disabled abused people on welfare.

 

Authoritarian = favouring or enforcing strict obedience to authority at the expense of personal freedom (tick)

 

Bully = a person who deliberately intimidates or persecutes those who are weaker (tick)

 

Corrupt = 1. Willing to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain (tick) – evil or morally depraved (tick) – debase by making errors (tick)

 

Cruelty = cruel behaviour or attitudes (tick) law – behaviour which causes physical or mental harm to another, whether intentional or not (tick)

 

Debase = 1. Lower the quality, value or character of (tick)

 

Degrade = 1. Cause to suffer a severe loss of dignity or respect (tick) demean (tick) lower the character or quality of (tick)

 

Degrading = causing a loss of self-respect (tick) humiliating (tick)

 

Depraved = morally corrupt (tick)

 

Discriminate = 2. Make an unjust distinction in the treatment of different categories of people (tick), especially on the grounds of culture (tick), disability (tick) or age (tick)

 

Ill-treatment = act cruelly towards (tick)

 

Intimidate = frighten or overawe (tick)

 

Oppress = 1. Keep in subjection and hardship (tick) 2. Cause to feel distressed or anxious (tick)

 

Oppressive = 1. Harsh and authoritarian (tick) 2. Weighing heavily on the mind or spirits (tick)

 

Retribution = punishment inflicted in the spirit of moral outrage or personal vengeance (tick)

 

Persecute = 1. Subject to prolonged hostility and ill-treatment (tick) 2. Persistently harass or annoy (tick)

 

Subjection = 1. Cause or force to undergo (tick) 2. Bring under one’s control or jurisdiction, typically by force (tick)

 

Torment = severe physical or mental suffering (tick) – a cause of torment (tick) 1. Subject to torment (tick) 2. Annoy or tease unkindly (tick)

 

orture = 1. The action or practice of inflicting severe pain as a punishment or a forcible means of persuasion (tick) 2. Great suffering or anxiety (tick) – subject to torture (tick)

 

Torturous = characterized by pain or suffering (tick)

 

I’m covered in ticks – are you?

 

 

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