Putting energy into failure – Haumanu House, Carterton

I’m sitting here looking at the big photo of agency representatives and Carterton dignatories opening the old police house as a HUB for social services in Wairarapa News and I want to throw up.  So much energy put into a system that is a complete failure for so many people here.  It is these services, these AGENCY representatives and dignatories that are failing our community, this is the system that causes people to suicide, become addicts, violent, to suffer without professional health care and support in this community.

For example WINZ – will they be having a full time security guard on duty to kick anybody out who becomes distraught because they don’t have enough money or anywhere safe to live?  I can’t even go to WINZ any longer I am so traumatised and degraded by it I tick really badly, can barely speak, want to self-harm and get violent thoughts of suicide (that’s what happens after 14 yrs rotting on welfare begging ACC for help to return to work like the law says).  I have an awesome case manager in Masterton and I can call her, but she works within a system and when she was away recently the computer cut my benefit off because it hadn’t received a medical certificate I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT.

COMMUNITY LAW CENTRE – over the years since I have been persecuted (that’s what the dictionary says is happening to me) by ACC and other mental health providers I have been turned away from the Community Law Centre several times.  The most vivid include me going to the office, asking to see a Human Rights lawyer, being told there were none in the Wairarapa.  When I said I will see any lawyer then, I was told THAT WOULD BE A WASTE OF THEIR TIME.

Another time I again told a woman how bad my situation was, how bad my mental health was and was told there was nothing the law could do about it.  As I was at law school at Victoria before I was hurt and had copies of ACC, disability, human rights and bill of rights laws I knew that was not correct.

More recently Wairarapa Community Law told me they had no idea how to do a judicial review.  That other people had asked them as well but they just couldn’t work out the process it was so complicated.  Again I was refused access to a lawyer about human rights.  The Judicial review process is an important part of our legal and democratic process when all else fails.

I have been told by other Community Law Centres that I need a lawyer, when I tell them I cannot find a lawyer I’m told there is nothing they can do.  I have also been told Community Law are NOT ALLOWED to help people represent themselves in court – its not in their mandate.

I was told by Ministry of Justice I needed a civil legal aid lawyer for my human rights complaints – I was sent a list, I phoned every person on that list and was told they were too busy, there were not lawyers available in New Zealand for civil legal aid – people were too busy dealing with criminal legal aid.  When I contacted Ministry of Justice about not being able to get a lawyer the woman said it was probably because I didn’t have a case (which is not true) and there was nothing she could do.  I reminded her it was law that I have to have access to right and justice.  She abused me and hung up.

So what’s the point in having Community Law come to town when they won’t and can’t do anything?

FREE BUDGETING – how can you budget when you get $400 per week (that you have to keep reapplying for because your previous 9 flatmates all stole from you, vicimtized you and traumatised you and you currently can’t find another so you’re getting some special benefit to live).  Your rent is $250 per week and you can’t even afford to get to the ACC counsellor who is currently the only one supporting you (because ACC illegally removed the other 4 health professionals and 12 hours care per week you had – and refuse to reinstate it after winning two reviews).  Does this budget in having a drink with friends in the community – just one drink?  Does this budget for going to concerts or shows that your other friends go to?  Does this budget for firewood or having $1000 in reserve in case a family member dies so you can travel?  Does this budget for your dog of 14 years getting sick, dying and leaving behind a $800 vet bill?  Does that budget for your bulimia 🙁 ?  Does this budget for $600 worth of wood for the winter?  Does this budget for any debts you have, like legal aid debt being forcibly taken from your benefit at $10 per week – for a protest where you were acquitted of wilful trespass of ACC and Ministry of Health for legally protesting about mental health services and ACC.

What happens when you are that broke you just stay home, every time you go out you spend money or someone wants you to spend money.  You don’t want to be around people because they tell you all the ways they are spending their money.  You are so stressed by poverty you phone people screaming for help to get your care back, so you can return to work, so you can live.  Those people send the police, concerned for your welfare, but not concerned with the fact you are not receiving the health care etc you are entitled to.  You live on $1 bread.  You go to the supermarket, your card declines for $6.50 (because you only had $6.20) and you run out of the place crying in shame, leaving the $2.60 in small change you had already given to try and buy some sanitary pads, bread and milk you wanted.

DRUG AND ALCOHOL COUNSELLING – I don’t do drugs or alcohol, although I know after Paul Holmes pushed for more help for drug addicts huge amounts of funding moved out of general mental health care into drug addicts.  I’m supposed to get ACC counselling but even now I have a flatmate and can afford to get to Masterton it appears ACC and the counsellor can’t organise for me to be seen.  Although counselling is such a small part of the care I need, its difficult to go to counselling, tell the person who bad your life is, she agrees with you, agrees there is insufficient residential and home care for abuse victims – tells you there is nothing she can do – she’s watching other abused women suffering like you, they’re not being helped either – its a tragedy and so many are dying but there is just nothing she can do.

PATHWAYS – Went to Pathways when they first took over mental health care in Wairarapa years ago, was told in no uncertain terms there is no way I would be eligible for any of their services and in fact I didn’t need the services I said I did – even though ACC had been providing them through a psychiatrist, Occupational Therapist, Mental HEalth worker and others in the community but illegally took them from me and refused to reinstate.  Mental health don’t provide the services ACC provide, they don’t have that sort of money.  I could of course have any medication I would like – given that mental health services in the Wairarapa have the highest rate of psychotropic drug use in New Zealand.  And if I continued to complain that I wasn’t able to access professional health care I would be forcibly committed and forcibly medicated.  Given Wairarapa mental health also have the highest rate of compulsory treatment orders because they are so horrendously incompetent and unprofessional, its not surprising really.

I have even contacted the people who own Pathways to make complaints and made formal complaints about their services (or lack of) through the Health and Disability Commission and DHB.  I am discredited and ignored, told I have a personality disorder WHEN I DON’T.  I do have several good psychiatric reports by senior psychiatrists Dr Alan Doris and Justin Barry-Walshe, that support what I am saying.  They also say I am intelligent, do not have a personality disorder and am not delusional.  Being accused of being delusional for knowing what you are entitled to and asking for it is very disturbing.  Andrew Curtis-Cody on the other hand, who is the main reason I am unable to access any services is a NURSE and has been ACTING head of adult mental health services for over a decade.  The man is mentally disturbed and has serious issues with women.

WORKWISE – Went to them years ago, begging for help to return to work, because I had given up on ACC.  I was treated like human sewage, told they would help then ignored.  They even had an education test done so I could get help to return to university – when I asked for the results I was told they were paid for and owned by Workwise and I would not be allowed a copy.  I begged them to send to disability services at Massey University (where I was studying Rehabiltiation, Health 101 and Disability at the time) they refused.  When I made a formal complaint I was phoned by a manager at their head office, insulted and abused for it.  I have seldom been treated with such contempt as when I dealt with Workwise and I would not be able to interact with this organisation without becoming very unwell.  If I had the multi-disciplinary team of health professionals I had in 2009 they would have helped me overcome this ‘phobia’ and gone with me to support me perhaps.

HAUORA – were supposed to help me late last year with flatmate problems and someone I knew who was taking advantage of me, had poor mental health herself and ended up causing me huge financial problems and coming to my house and abusing me.  I begged Hauora to help her as I couldn’t cope with what I was being expected to do to support her.  I sent letters of complaint when they didn’t help and the situation deteriorated, they came to my house and abused me.  Telling me the situation that had happened was nothing to do with them, even though I had been begging for their help.

WHAIORA – Went in their once to go to a doctor because I was so poor and couldn’t afford one.  Was refused care and treated so badly by the receptionist I left and would never ever go back.  I have tried to access Whanau Ora services as I am told I am entitled to them, I phone people and nobody gets back to me.  I heard they are starting up again, maybe.  But I know I will have to work with people who are not professionals and have serious issues themselves – so many people do not understand Complex Post Traumatic Stress disorders and years of degrading persecution I have been subjected to.  They do not understand that I am phobic about going for a job interview because the person who raped me was found not guilty – even when he admitted I was asleep when he started doing it.  I am phobic about being judged and in 2009 I was just about to start working on this with the Occupational Therapist when my care was illegally withdrawn by ACC and Peter Jansen only six months into a rehabilitation plan that was supposed to be 2 1/2 years.

IRD – Ahhhh my $7000 student loan – stupid me took out a loan in 2001 for my studies, even though I was eligible for TIA at the time – I didn’t want to be a bludger.  At the end of the first year when I was raped and tried but couldn’t return to study because I wasn’t getting the support I needed I had to quit.  Because of when I was raped I am entitled to a disability payment from ACC that was wrongly calculated at $18 per week, but you can’t argue with ACC.   When I was getting paid this money I had to start making payments of $10 per week to IRD in order to pay back my student debt.  When ACC removed me from all services in 2009 they said I no longer was eligible because my mental health issues weren’t related to the rape.  That was later proven wrong and all services were supposed to be reinstated – they never were and neither was the Independence Allowance.  It makes me cry when I hear of other abuse victims getting these payments when I am refused.  Sad I can’t get a lawyer to make them, because ACC don’t do anything without a person having a lawyer.

RUTH CARTER, JOHN BOOTH and many others in that photo know some of my story and do absolutely nothing to help me get the health care I am entitled to so I can return to work and survive in this community.  Putting all their energy into ‘the system’ of failure 30 years of neo-liberal government have created by advancing rich and persecuting poor must make them think they are doing something.  You see they believe people in mental health services that lie and blame me for the situation I am in.  They believe them when they say she refuses services – I REFUSE UNPROFESSIONAL ABUSIVE SERVICES, just like all the other people who are suffering in this community.

POLICE – a couple of years ago I found four laws related to health care for disabled people and government agencies that must follow the law.  I made several complaints to police about people failing to do their job and me being harmed because of it – they refuse to act on my complaints because apparently they wouldn’t know who to prosecute.  Of course they don’t mind coming to my house for welfare visits 15 times in three months, or dragging me through court for misuse of a telephone for phoning ACC begging/screaming for my care to be reinstated (seeing they promised it would be yet again April last year).

Although police are now much nicer than they once were to me, there are still several how victimise me by holding on to emails from the Ombudsman concerned for my welfare, for 7 hours and turn up at 11pm at night when I am asleep.  Frighten the hell out of me, thinking one of my ex-flatmates dodgy friends is trying to break in, or that one of my children have died.  Or dragging me to Masterton after the doctors surgery calls them concerned for my welfare to prosecute me for misuse of a telephone, under the guise of being forced to see the CATT team.  Who I cannot communicate with and who have told me repeatedly there are no services.

RAPE CRISIS – although they aren’t in this building I wanted to make a note about them after Anne Tolley promised money for sexual abuse services.  I went to them three times and was rejected all three times, apparently I am not a suitable candidate for any of their programmes.  What makes you a suitable candidate for being helped by rape crisis again?  Just because I know my rights and am an expert in stress disorders people become intimidated by me and reject me – Rape Crisis only want victims, not intelligent women prepared to stand up for their rights.

………… Can’t stop crying, bulimia bad, bladder problems bad wish I could see the doctor about them and have the tests I was supposed to from two years ago.  Just can’t face all the invasive tests they want to do with no support.

Note to John Booth, I turned down the firewood because I was so freaked out I wouldn’t have any and you refused to call me to tell me what was happening I bought by own, using the only money I had in reserve – the last $600 left from the small amount Dulcie left me.  Wish she had left me a house to live in, like she left so many of her alcoholic tenants, I never understood why she wouldn’t help me and my kids, I guess that’s what happens when someone is very rich and lets it control them.

I don’t want charity – I want professional treatment care rehabilitation and justice so I can get well and get back to work.  People despise you when you’re on welfare.

Of course Carterton people hate all disabled, that’s why they got the government to sell off all the state housing in the 1990s.  Now the only people moving here are rich people because poor and disabled people can’t afford it – that’s what the dignitaries of Carterton want.

🙁

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