Stupid me flipped channels to Wairarapa TV and was bombarded with the most neo-liberal elitist BS on our airwaves. Firstly Trust House doing a publicity stunt with some media guy who running for mayor – saying how great they are and to apply for arts funding. WTF – Trust House new logo says Commercial Strength for Public Good – its sick. Corporate power for public oppression more like it. As soon as I did a art installation in their office and wrote a poem about them called Trust House Terrorists they started big propaganda campaign about how great they were and how much money they gave to ‘the community.
They DON’T, Trust House profit from vulnerable poor people and charge market rents (on the state housing they got for EXTREMELY CHEAP), they profit from drunks and gamblers as well. Wairarapa has the highest rate of POKIE MACHINE use in New Zealand (another winning corporate strategy from Trust House). They use their status as a ‘charity’ to commit cruel immoral criminal acts of elitist HATE against poor and vulnerable, they exploit them and give the money they make to middle class and rich for extravagant sports, arts and business projects. They steal from the poor and give to the rich in this sick sick region!!!!
Trust HOuse bought all the state housing in Wairarapa 20 years ago and never built another house so now we have a housing crisis for disabled and poor locals. The rich here were trying to drive poor from the region into the cities, where they want all peasant working class and disabled – so more room in countryside for them and their extravagant lifestyles. We have highest rate of suicide, self-harm and compulsory treatment orders in this hell hole THEY CALL DEATH VALLEY (also gambling). We have a lot of private schools training up the rich kids to HATE, degrade and exploit poor public school kids. That’s what is behind the HATRED TOWARDS disabled poor locals who being driven from their homes, jobs and health care – its generational and class related.
So after the BS about Trust House there is mental health hour, first 15 mins is some pervert sounding creep doing deep breathing. Mindfulness is neo-liberal version religion ewwww and has never got anybody somewhere safe to live, prevented domestic/flatmate violence, prevented police violence, prevented government corruption – NOWHERE ON THIS PLANET!!!.
Then we get American mental health TV for the rest of it – some DEFINITELY MENTALLY ILL low IQ foreigner telling jokes and talking about stand up comedy. ON OUR MENTAL HEALTH HOUR – YES FOLKS – that’s New Zealand and that is how much government propaganda we are subjected to. The government puts mentally ill, low IQ, comedians on TV FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY and that is supposed to improve the wellbeing and wellness of New Zealanders – WTF???? Mental Health Foundation organised that.
I phoned 1737 number because I was extremely distraught and was told they couldn’t talk to me and had to hang up. I am not allowed to phone Healthline either. I phoned Samaratans and I got what sounded like middle aged AUSTRALIAN WOMEN in Perth – WTF????? One woman said they get lots of calls from New Zealand. New Zealand government and society can’t even provide a service in New Zealand, they have to send it to volunteers in Perth – WTF?????? I guarantee it was some self-righteous Christian organisation – what are they going to do about homelessness, govt corruption, being denied health care, police violence etc in New Zealand???
THEN OF COURSE ONE OF THESE ORGANISATIONS THAT HUNG UP ON ME PHONES THE CARTERTON POLICE ‘concerned for my welfare’ because that’s how it works here. You beg for professional mental health care from ACC or public MH services and you are denied it for nine years (after winning two court cases). Then when you become really unwell and suicidal because you are being ILLEGALLY AND CRUELLY DENIED HEALTH CARE ETC YOU ARE ENTITLED TO then police phone you saying they are concerned for your welfare. They stopped taking me to police station and getting mental health CATT team to see me a long time ago. Because MH always walked out and refused services and still do – so do ACC and I won two court cases for that to be reinstated.
Officer on the phone was really really distressing – they know exactly what to say to make you want to kill yourself – that’s for sure. Called me mate, trying to be nice to me, like a normal person, I was upset when he phoned anyway, so I was swearing at him from the beginning. When he asked me not to I just launched into my situation, what he called was ‘a few issues’ WTF. I’m denied all health care, including a GP, the police terrorise me in my home repeatedly and violently assault me more than once, including threatening me with worse JUST FOR ASKING FOR MY ACC CARE TO BE REINSTATED. Why would I be nice to any police officer when they have got me up on 18 different minor trumped up charges – while ignoring my serious complaints of criminal negligence against ACC and others. Why would I be nice to any police officer after what they are putting me through – I never hurt anybody, they hurt me.
The officer said he was new to Carterton and didn’t know me personally – except by reputation I”m sure. I know some of what is on my police file and nobody would read it and treat me like a human being – I’ve tried to get it removed by the Privacy Commissioner – they laughed at me. I JUST WANT TO GET MY CARE SO I CAN RETURN TO WORK, IF I DON’T I CAN’T LIVE. I don’t understand why police are doing this to me, all the red neck neo-liberal elitist pigs in this region are obsessed with people working – AND WHAT HAS ILLEGALLY DENYING ME ACC CARE GOT TO DO WITH NEO-LIBERALISM????????????????????????????????????????????????????
I don’t understand
I hate getting phone calls from the police – now I won’t be able to sleep thinking they are going to come and terrorise me again, like they have before in the middle of the night – for WELFARE CHECKS!!!!! He phoned me back three times, knowing I would have to pick up the phone or he would come to the house and really upset me – I run and hide in the bathroom now I”m so terrified.
This is all sounding so surreal, I would find it hard to believe anybody who told me this was happening to them too. This would have been what was happening in NAZI Germany as the Germans started to be told the horrendous suffering and deaths the NAZI were committing on the basis of an economic religious belief. We have the United Nations to stop another NAZI German and Peter Fraser from New Zealand was one of the first people to sign the UN treaty on human rights. Was watching something tonight that said small countries are exploited and eaten up by big countries – which is exactly what is happening in New Zealand. Why I have ended up in the darklands rotting on welfare, terrorised and ostracized is not how I expected my life to end!
I don’t understand, I never hurt anybody, they hurt me, I don’t understand how can the police allow ACC and others to break the law and yet terrorise me with it??? I don’t understand I have never done anything to any of them or their families and yet they terrorise me and try to drive me to suicide WHEN I PROTEST ABOUT ABUSIVE MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES AND NEO-LIBERAL TERRORISM?????? There is not one person I talk to who doesn’t agree with my protests about abusive mental health services – NOT ONE ON EITHER SIDE OF THE POLITICAL SPECTRUM. So how come the police, MOJ, ACC and others are doing what they are to me???? The only explanation is govt corruption in ACC, they budgeted for mentally injured victims of crime to receive only six months rehabilitation and none of the necessities of life, like safety, housing and food security. There is no democracy in NEw Zealand because there is no adherence to word of law, our constitution and signed UN treaties.
Everybody in my region hates mental health services, everybody knows how bad they are, everybody – even the people who work in them. Most of the people who work in mental health are the ones who can’t get a job anywhere else and are power tripping, issue ridden, nut jobs!!!!!!! That’s why I can’t deal with any of them, they aren’t taught the law or what a mental health professional knows – they’re just taught to hand out the meds and DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING – UNLESS OF COURSE YOU ARE A THEIVING ABUSIVE LYING ADDICT MENTALLY ILL PERSON – then they can’t do enough to help you. !!!! Especially find you housing with a more vulnerable decent disabled suicidal victim of crime that will hopefully look after you, so they don’t have to.
I’ve noticed lately how people in the police/justice system and the police/lawyers etc treat each other like they’re mates. They take on these roles and many criminals are as polite and decent about being caught for doing bad shit to other people – as the police are at treating them, if they like them. AND THEY DON’T LIKE ME ONE BIT – I heard similar disdain and ignorance from my brother recently when he found out how unwell I was – DEEP SEATED HATRED he couldn’t cover up. Like I was doing something to hurt him by JUSTIFABLY FEELING THE WAY I DO and wanting to kill myself – that’s how police treat it as well. LIke I am doing something to hurt them or the government. My brother seldom visits (and my nieces and sister in law never do) and has always treated me with disdain since I wasn’t able to work after the rape.
Police and government hate you because you don’t look good on the global statistics.
Can’t stop crying – past couple of days been really weird since I got back from visiting family – it usually is really bad because the difference in how much food I have to eat etc is so different.
Now I’m remembering an argument I had with my mum first day there where she told me to get over being raped it was 17 years ago and the reason I was raped and poor is because I left my ex-partner and shouldn’t have. Going away to stay with family is a horrendous nightmare in this neo-liberal hell hole – ANOMIE at its best. It isn’t a matter of GETTING OVER THE RAPE – which even the judge continuously reminds me of – the initial trauma was just that, the catalyst. Its what happened after that ensured I am the worthless piece of garbage I am today. Complex PTSD doesn’t develop from one trauma, it develops from many overwhelming traumas and inhuman living situations over many years – OVERWHELMING TRAUMAS with no opportunity to heal somewhere safe and with enough money to live with dignity.
Of course our corrupt government have made family and friends the people who supposed to support HUMAN SEWAGE like me – supposed to buy us houses to live in, supposed to provide us professional mental health care, supposed to provide us regular food and necessities of life. THAT IS DARK AGES TYPE STUFF – PRIOR TO MAGNA CARTA – that is not civil society and not western society either. Its neo-liberal terrorism and more a case of class, us peasants supposed to look after ourselves while wealthy elites decide on what health care we get, if we get to live in a house, if we have to beg for food, etc etc.
There must be so many disabled suicidal victims of crime around New Zealand being treated as badly as I am. I have met a few in my protesting, but I wonder how many there really are. I am sure we are all given the same corrupt treatment. I will have to write out that last psych report to show you JUST HOW BAD/unprofessional/corrupt the heads of our ‘forensic’ mental health system are. Also how corrupt Medical Council are, who refusing to address my valid complaints of violating their rules for doing an independent psychiatric report for the courts.
Anyway, I’ve come back and my heart is smashed to pieces and I don’t want to live and my eating is out of control and everything I read and see reminds me of just how bad and hard my situation is and just how good and easy majority of people have it. Especially those making sure my environment is inhuman, while there’s is obscene extravagance.
I can’t do this, its too hard, other people have people who care for them and fight for them – I’m so worthless I have nobody. All those people who tell me in the street that my protests are good, where are they????