Firstly I want everything you told me yesterday in writing, about your ILLEGAL conversations with Forensic Mental Health and ACC and conversations with Judge Morris where I was not present. You did not get my written authority to discuss anything with ACC, you didn’t turn up remember. Your contact with Forensic Mental Health is deeply disturbing and illegal behaviour under the Privacy Act as you definitely had no authority to contact them. Your repeating over and over again what good people they were and how they wanted to help when I have been screaming for services for over a decade and am in court currently on 23 police charges for protesting about THAT FACT (or the past nine years of being continually dragged through court for my legal protests that I was not getting health care and justice I entitled to.
You repeatedly asking me what I wanted for mental health care (reinstatement of my ACC care from 2009) and telling me those people at mental health are trying to help me is also extremely insulting. You must have asked me what I wanted 10 times, when I told you some of the things you asked the question again, like I hadn’t even spoken. At one point you slowed right down and said the same words really slowly like I was some sort of imbecile – it was offensive and extremely disrespectful. Which is why you triggered me, you are really good at it to the point I think you enjoy it and do it purposely. My previous lawyer Susie Barnes would never have triggered me like that, or kept doing it when I said to stop. I believe you are grossly corrupt Alisdair and have a hidden agenda working for some elite group of psychiatric and legal terrorists targeting poor abuse/trauma victims with Complex PTSD like myself. As you already know Legal Aid will refuse me a lawyer if I sack you and I am still to unwell to represent myself so I have no choice but continue working with corrupt fascist bigot and elitist terrorist.
For past nine years those corrupt deceitful criminals at mental health have asked me the same question about what I wanted and then never done what they promised MANY MANY TIMES. This is psychological torture that has destroyed my life and my relationships – that I doubt will ever be repaired because of what they have done! DESTROYED MY FAMILY and doing their best to DESTROY ME!!!!!
Obviously these incompetent ignorant bigots in Forensic Mental Health want me to tell them how to fix it for me and 100,000s people with Complex PTSD. As a result of interpersonal violence, combined with the inhuman living situations our government now expect disabled mentally injured people (mostly women) to survive and HEAL in – let alone thrive. Although I am sure you all know this isn’t going to happen while govt bring 3,000 immigrants a week into New Zealand to drive disabled and poor locals from their homes, health care and justice. I see in a news item today unemployment is past 10% for poorest and youngest New Zealanders, so rich educated immigrants are taking jobs from locals and homes. It also talks about how much poorer people rotting on invalids benefit are than they have ever been because of huge increases in rent which I am subjected to in a private rental. You are sick sick people Alisdair, those are your peers doing this aren’t they Alisdair.
MY CARE IS SUPPOSED TO CONSIST OF:
Firstly it is to be professional and based on an internationally recognised rehabilitation model and ACC legislation. I REFUSE TO HAVE A SOCIAL WORKER IN ANY TYPE OF THERAPEUTIC ROLE, I’ve been watching the sort of harm they do with people I know. Everything Kumar says in his book Multidisciplinary Approach to Rehabilitation, which was the academic information I was taught while studying rehabilitation at Massey several years ago, that ACC and others do not apply.
I will not participate in any unprofessional experimental therapeutic work that I know does not work for people with CPTSD. Experimenting on people is illegal under BORA and Human Rights treaties.
My care – as with any person who has a serious life-threatening debilitating disorder – will be overseen by a psychiatrist that follows/applies the work of Mason Durie and his Whare Tapa Wha model. I would like Mason or Dr Alan Doris (who escaped to Australia) to recommend that person so I don’t get another arrogant, corrupt, incompetent, imperialist, ignorant, elitist bigot.
BEcause of the extreme trauma ACC caused removing all my care illegally in 2009, six months into a 2 1/2 yr rehab plan, I demand a contract be signed that my care will not be withdrawn without the agreement of at least two of my closest health providers, without this it will take many months (if at all) for me to trust what is happening and participate fully in therapy out of terror of another withdrawal that will this time kill me through suicide.
I had an OT two hours a week who helped me work out where the barriers were and what I could do to overcome the now multiple phobias I have to cope with. My previous OT was the conduit between me and the services I needed, instructing the workers at the gym I was attending about my behaviour, liasing with any education or other organisation I became part of (if that is appropriate). I have seen multiple programmes in prisons described in news reports that are currently not available for victims like myself. Personally I would rather not commit a serious enough crime to end up in prison so I can access these therapy’s, eg theatre. I also think it deeply flawed to be providing therapy to people once they have harmed people or committed crimes and not before. Although I understand why because I attended the Victoria University, Gabrielle Maxwell organised on the Costs of Crime and how to funnel funding and services into these ‘criminals’.
I had previously a mental health worker for 3 hours a week, I need at least 15 hours a week and for that to be increased DEPENDING ON WHAT HAPPENS WITH THE OCCUPATIONAL THERAPIST AND PSYCHIATRIST. You don’t seem to understand a therapeutic relationship, the idea is we work TOGETHER to reinstate me as much as possible to my previous level of functioning before the rape. Where I was a business franchise owner and law student with two children. I don’t have my children at home any longer which is no less stress for me as I am now living extremely isolated with more serious psycho-social issues following years of criminal neglect by ACC and mental health and discrimination in the community.
I must work, I must be able to rejoin the workforce OR I AM GOING TO DIE! Nobody can safely or with inherent dignity live on welfare in this neo-liberal nightmare country as it is now constructed under neo-liberal terrorist economics. As the Newshub report I read this morning outlines – I note this is the first time in 35 years any mainstream New Zealand news service has showed evidence of poverty worsening for those receiving welfare benefits. It was disturbing to see elderly on benefits (some still working at good jobs and receiving old age pension) have had increases in their welfare benefits while disabled and poor were impoverished further.
Currently my talents lie in the arts, that is part of the stress disorder that you become highly creative when you are extreme stressed with life and death situations constantly – which I am when the suicidality wells up. I need help with applying for funding and educating myself as to how best to profit from my work SO I CAN PAY FOR MY OWN HOUSE AND MY OWN FOOD AND PEOPLE DON’T DESPISE AND DEMEAN ME FOR HAVING TO BEG. I am now phobic about asking for things from people after past 17 years of dealing with ACC, justice system and mental health, this prevents me from being able to market, publish, perform and profit from my talent/my work.
Until I am healed I cannot see me being able to work at a ‘normal’ job because I am still most phobic about going for a job interview and as I know from years of experience, people will judge and reject me as being insane on just one meeting if I present in a triggered traumatised state (as my disability is situational). This is also hampered because of the lies mental health, police and others have spread in the community and of course my deteriorating mental health due to ACC and others. I am discriminated against often and I challenge people with my activism which they don’t like – because it is true. So getting a job will be almost impossible in Wairarapa and the way government agencies and members of parliament are currently terrorising me through the courts my knowledge and skills in mental health will not be taken advantage of by government – so I would never get a job for the government in any capacity – ALTHOUGH THEY DESPERATELY NEED MY HELP TO STEM THE SUICIDE EPIDEMIC they purposely created.
There will be no HOT POTATO CARE (please refer to medical evidence by world expert Karlen Lyons-Ruth), where I am given services and they are removed as soon as I show any improvement – only to let me crash and retraumatise me even more because I am not ready and KNOW IT! I CAN ASSURE YOU THE SOONER health providers ARE OUT OF MY LIFE THE BETTER I WILL BE – RELYING ON ABUSIVE UNRELIABLE UNPROFESSIONAL HEALTH SERVICES IS WORSE THAN HAVING NO SERVICES AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which is why we have so much suicide in New Zealand of course!
The OT or the mental health worker, (whoever is the more suitable or trusted – because I DO NOT TRUST ANY PERSON ON THIS PLANET, PARTICULARLY ANY HEALTH ‘PROFESSIONAL’ to do what they say) must be available to take me to the doctor. This is my most essential issue at the moment after being prevented from seeing a doctor due to an illegal and cruel CONTRACT Carterton Medical Centre (written by Simon Watt from Compass Health & Bell Gully) made me sign over three years ago. The same threats of having all my health care removed by CMC have recently been extended to WINZ and also the local library when I burst into tears because of an email about being arrested AGAIN. Apparently I am supposed to leave the building, compose myself and return. Except it is the very act of going into these government buildings/situation and being demeaned, degraded and discriminated against that sets off the more extreme expressions/impairments/behaviours of my CPTSD – like self-harming. Years of this sort of treatment has caused serious psychological harm, which is evident from my behaviour.
JUDSON AND WALSH’S ASSESSMENT THAT I AM PERMANENTLY IMPAIRED IS NOT ACCURATE AT ALL – that these ‘senior’ mental health professionals believe that would explain the appalling state of mental health services in New Zealand. The idea that I am going to be like this forever is utterly ridiculous if I get the professional treatment care rehabilitation and housing I am entitled to under New Zealand law! If I don’t get that care of course things will not improve and I will die – which I am sure is what our government, the legal profession and the health profession want to keep people employed in VIOLENCE/MENTAL HEALTH INDUSTRY.
Wanting me to provide every last detail of care IS NOT HOW REHABILITATION WORKS, that you don’t know that Alisdair could be explained – how leading psychiatrists and ACC don’t know that is incompetent, negligent and discrimination. I would be working with an expert psychiatrist in the field of traumatic stress disorders, I guarantee you this person will know what is happening – just like OT Glenda van de ven Long did when I was working with her. Just like Dr Alan Doris did when I talked to him during several assessments – but was never allowed him as my psychiatrist – CORRUPTLY AND ILLEGALLY.
Part of my rehabilitation must include a full gym membership as I need the support of the staff, plus I have other physical health issues that now need to be addressed and will limit what I can do. My previous OT facilitated my going to gym. I need a full medical (to see a doctor more than once) as I have concerns about skin cancer, my ankle and hip as well. I become easily overwhelmed and would not cope initially with a long consultation as I am terrified of doctors after the appalling bigoted incompetent unprofessional disrespectful treatment I have received.
I need a professional needs assessment ONCE I HAVE BECOME FAMILIAR WITH THE PEOPLE I AM WORKING WITH – and there cannot be more than three people or organisations who are expected to know my impairments and assist me in firstly managing them and then overcoming them WHICH IS ALL I HAVE EVER WANTED!!!
ACC need to provide someone to deal with the years of unopened mail caused by them REFUSING TO REINSTATE MY CARE AS REQUIRED BY TWO ACC REVIEWS IN 2010/11. ACC need to provide a professional to insure I get the $10,000+ in independence allowance they have been illegally withholding for years and I WILL NOT BE REQUIRED TO ATTEND YET ANOTHER ASSESSMENT TO GET THAT MONEY – that was required to be reinstated in 2010 according to the Fairway Review.
I also had monthly massages in 2009 which need to be weekly, when the gym is reinstated as it balances out the activity and release of rage with calm and quiet. Yin and yang. This also works psycho-socially as I am touched in a good healing way, not an abusive way. That I have to explain why I need and am entitled to these things under law, to my lawyer and top government psychiatrists is not only strange its completely inappropriate. A rehabilitation plan is developed between health professionals and the disabled person – not during a court case for protesting about being denied the professional treatment care rehab and home I am entitled to under ACC law & many other laws and UN treaties.
The six week residental rehabilitation programme I was supposed to go on years ago, as stated by Dr Alan Doris, will need to be organised. Given our cruel corrupt government removed all the places that were suitable this will need to be part of $millions government have pledged to increase in services/resources for people with more acute mental health issues, especially as a result of abuse. People with CPTSD are not accommodated by public mental health services, I read a news report by the new suicide prevention officer at Wairarapa DHB who said people with mental illness were not violent. Violence is a symptom of Complex PTSD according to Bessell van der Kolk, whose work I greatly admire. If only we would listen to the artists to guide services/resources as he suggests in his great book Traumatic Stress Disorders. Copies of which I showed both forensic psychiatrists assessing me.
Personally I do not allow myself to act on the violence I feel and use my activism, self-harm and other techniques so I don’t become violent. These so far work very well and I have never been violent towards any person, however I am treated like I am violent. I recall the first time I started protesting about not getting mental health services I was entitled to from ACC my police file says on it DANGER TO POLICE SAFETY. I was never and have never been a danger to police safety, I believed police were there to uphold justice and the law, my brother in law was a senior police officer, I didn’t realise there are corrupt police officers who are dedicated to protecting corrupt criminal people in power and persecute honest disabled people fighting for their rights to health care and justice.
Hopefully this answers your question about WHAT HEALTH CARE I WANT, making it clear this is not the full extent of what I am entitled to and need AS I WOULD REQUIRE THE APPROPRIATE HEALTH PROFESSIONALS AND MODELS TO BE PUT IN PLACE TO INSURE AND WORK THAT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!
You said I have to meet with you, which I have no choice about, however you must organise it through Masterton District Court, it will be recorded BY ME and security guard Jason will need to be there to support me and protect you in case I can’t keep control of the overwhelming rage I feel at what you and your friends at Forensic mental health are doing to not just me – to 100,000s of desperate innocent terrorised poor abused people – mostly women. YOU DRIVE CHILDREN TO SUICIDE AND PEOPLE TO VIOLENCE AND SELF-HARM – you people are murderers and oppressors of the worst form. How you sleep at night knowing what you do is beyond my comprehension as a civilised decent person.
In the future please communicate with me through email so I have proof of what you are saying and as requested at the beginning of this email please advise the details of who you have been talking to and what you have been doing that you advised me of yesterday in your telephone call.
Civil Society Activist