Driven to self-harm by ignorant police & community leaders

So I had a meeting on Thursday with police, the local mayor and the council social worker/ propaganda PR person.  That night my mental health was so bad I started self-harming and now I’m covered in bruises over my face.  Although I had asked to get these people together and the mayor kept telling me everything would be OK etc, IT WASN’T.  The saddest thing is I don’t even think any of them realise how insulting, degrading and bigoted what they were saying to me was.  Not all of what they said just some really bad bits – the neo-liberal bits.

Firstly I had a previous meeting with the mayor and sent him two emails with questions before the meeting on Thursday – he didn’t respond.   While in our recent meeting he keeps saying to me – You trust me and the people here don’t you.   ACTUALLY I DIDN’T TRUST ANY OF THEM, I admitted to not trusting the policeman.

I live in the region of New Zealand that has the highest self-harm rates in the OECD (developed western world).   The way those three people approached what I was telling them, my complaints about police violence, mental health staff violence, how bad my life is etc was so bad in so many ways.

Even though the mayor has said several times he would help me, the more he gets to know my situation the more he doesn’t want to know what is happening.  I text him before the meeting saying I was terrified.  During our talk he got angry with me for saying at our last meeting he implied there was going to be no state/social housing built in Wairarapa for disabled people like me.  He said he didn’t say that but he did, he used economic jargon, I even emailed him about it to get the words he had been told to use.   I follow economists, I have studied economics, I wonder if he didn’t really know what those words meant.

I’m not sure how long we were there, when suddenly he started telling me he had to go to the funeral that had been in progress next door to us since we started.   Why did he make an appointment to see me if he had another appointment and why didn’t he tell me he had to go at a certain time.  Instead he humiliated me and made me feel bad for not having finished what I was saying.

He compared me asking for his help with this situation to people who ask him for help with potholed roads and footpaths – which made me feel really bad by trivialising the seriousness of what was happening to me.  He got so uncomfortable about what I was saying, especially about police.  To start with he assured me in detail and repeatedly the police officer was an old school friend of his and trustworthy.  Then when I was leaving – after them – I saw them talking, smiling and shaking hands outside the police station.   No matter what I say it seems obvious to me the mayor is going to back his school friend to the hilt – he did in the meeting.

The police officer was very uncomfortable about the unwarranted police violence and abuse I have been subjected to over the years and how IPCA have never done anything about my valid complaints – they are abusive.  He kept saying they’re independent, they’re independent – my response was they might be but they are still corrupt, I have been violently assaulted, psychologically tortured and persecuted/not protected from crimes against me – while charged with crimes that 95% of the time have been either thrown out by a judge or dropped by police.   He kept defending the police and telling me he hadn’t done any of those things to me so I shouldn’t care they happened at all.

He told me he was a human being – I told him HE WAS NOT.  Those three people were there as mayor, police and social worker/bullshit PR person – they weren’t there as human beings.  It was their jobs – WHILE IT IS MY LIFE – if they left their jobs next week they wouldn’t give me a second thought.  I will never forget that meeting and how bad it made me feel.  They have been so brainwashed by this neo-liberal extremist garbage they don’t even know how to be NORMAL people.

One of the most upsetting things was when I said all the money I had saved up had run out 2 weeks ago the social worker immediately told me she could get me the budget services – WTF.  I’m 55 years old, I bought my kids up on welfare from the age of 37 (they were 6 & 7), I know how to fucking budget.  I can’t believe she said that – what an insult.   My rent went up $70 in 12 months and I can’t get a flatmate that isn’t abusive (having been through six I’m now phobic), my invalids benefit didn’t increase.  We have had a small increase since, but that happens every year apparently to deal with inflation – don’t know where they get their figures because the rising cost of rent and food isn’t 2-3% like media say – not for poor people like me.

So these people are demanding to see how I spend my money so they can tell me how to spend it so I can afford food.  I wonder what these revolting people who are so much more intelligent and better than me at budgeting their money would say to me exactly??   I’m sure they would make sure I didn’t have any money to go to funerals or participate in the community, or have a holiday ever, or travel anywhere outside my district, or participate in our ‘democracy’, or join clubs, or buy good shoes to cater to my bad ankle, or accommodate my bulimia (which I am sure they would say is MY CHOICE AND I DESERVE TO BE POOR BECAUSE OF IT).

More proof our community leaders are the ones who advancing the rich and business people while rejecting and persecuting disabled abused poor people who don’t have necessities of life – like safe stable affordable housing or sufficient income to live with dignity.

Wairarapa No 1 in OECD for driving children to suicide, domestic/flatmate violence, eating disorders, self-harm, compulsory treatment orders and of course homelessness.  You don’t see the homelessness here because people are driven to Wellington, where they get emergency housing.  Wealthy elites drive disabled and poor out of this region illegally and purposefully.

I wonder if any of them want to hear how to stop our region’s world leading suicide and self-harm statistics – I have the solutions.   Wouldn’t you think these people would be embarrassed by those stats and what they drive people to – but they’re not.

 

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