Category Archives: Useful Information & statistics

Civil Society Actor report to New Zealand Govt for UPR of Human Rights

20 June 2018


Report by JR Civil Society Actor, Carterton, New Zealand.


Report to the NZ government to advise on their upcoming report on the UPR of Human Rights. Details of abuses of power and gross violations of human rights that deprive disabled mentally injured trauma/abuse victims from professional health care and necessaries of life.


The government knows what they are doing wrong, they perpetrate the abuses of power and corruption against people with mental health issues and people they purposely impoverished under neo-liberalism. I have sent so many reports, emails etc there is no need to tell you again. I will make that report to the UN directly during the UPR process. In this document I will outline those things in the area of justice and health that are essential to addressing serious violations of human, disabled and civil rights.



After 15 years of study and assessment of why I am being denied health care and justice it has become quite obvious the justice system for poor people with health and poverty issues is grossly corrupted under the present extremist neo-liberal (note this is not capitalist) system. The lack of separation of powers in disputes between poorest citizens and the crown/their contractors has led to years of injustice, in health, justice, banking, insurance, tenancies, police, human rights, etc. The only way to rectify this situation is bring all decisions in disputes against the crown under the High Court (or its own superior court) system. All other disputes should be under District Court – no exceptions. The New Zealand government and affluent business people (rich & powerful) have proven they cannot be trusted not to abuse their position of power.


The power imbalances MUST BE ADDRESSED in regard to these disputes/injustices between rich and poor – laws to keep the peace – much of which has been lost under neo-liberal terrorism (please refer to Terrorism Suppression Act).


There must be a dedicated public defender human rights unit with the equivalent resources of NZ government lawyers such as Meredith Connell and crown law. The current system is set up to destroy the ability of lawyers in the community to adequately defend their poorest, most vulnerable and powerless clients against the most powerful – especially the government. We are supposed to be all equal before the law and have equal access to justice, it is a terrorist act to destroy resources to poorest sector of the local population. This injustice causes death and harm – which is currently happening to disabled people with mental health issues. Who are also those purposely impoverished under neo-liberal economic theory.


In the past six months I have been denied care by a psychiatrist, psychologist, Occupational Therapist and counsellor, even though I have reports saying my mental health is that severe I require residential care. The police and court staff would also be able to advise of how severe my mental health is when I start self-harming in the cells, or singing, crying, wailing. They will also be able to attest to the deterioration in my ability to cope during the court process – after being dragged through it repeatedly for over a decade – all for non-violent protests trying to get these services I am entitled to.


I have made formal complaints about all these health providers refusing me care. This has been happening to me for many years, but over the past 9 months I was encouraged to try to get services again by a senior official at Ministry of Health – he failed and I have come out worse off and more terrified/phobic/disturbed. When I spoke to the Health & Disability Commission about being rejected from these services a few weeks ago (I have been rejected by ACC Occupational Therapists for the past 8 years) without explanation, I was told THEY DIDN’T DEAL WITH ACCESS TO SERVICES. Which is what they always say.


They refuse to discuss anything after that about other people getting these services while I was denied them. I believe they are denying me this care to punish me for making complaints and protesting using my art. I have made multiple complaints to police about what is happening to me, senior officers refuse to investigate or take a prosecution against ACC, who have illegally denied me health care and caused me so much suffering and harm – destroyed my life, my family.


The solutions are on my website, as I have been telling the government for many years, since I wrote the business plan for Mental Injury Services and my rehabilitation model Fence At the Top Of The Cliff. These are what is supposed to be happening currently but is being denied the vast majority, if not all of those people mentally injured by trauma, abuse and neglect.


Also on my website are two books of poetry, those poems are for the people reading this and those who caused so much harm to so many vulnerable and innocent people.


The health system must be brought back under government control – privatization has proven Marxist theory accurate in that it advantages the rich and ends in the persecution and alienation of the poorest. These private health providers (and public mental health services) cannot be trusted to provide the professional health care New Zealand commonwealth citizens are entitled to under law and expect in a civil society.


All housing of people with health and poverty issues MUST BE brought back under government control. The market DID NOT adhere to United Nations treaties and constitutional laws and the government have been corrupt cruel, incompetent and unjust in not providing these necessities of life for large numbers of citizens. They use illegal BUDGETS to deny and restrict services, disability services, housing, basic necessities of life to so many people – laws and treaties require ALL PEOPLE TO GET THESE NECESSITIES, not just a few.


It is a Crime under Sections 150A and 151 of the Crimes Act to not follow the law and as a result cause harm, criminal negligence. That is what has happened to me and is happening to 1000s of other mentally injured abuse victims like myself. It is also a crime to not provide professional mental health services and experiment on people – like they have done for years with psychotropic drugs on those suffering under their economic model that conflicted with professional health models and laws.


The market has also proven it cannot provide meaningful work for people with disabilities and again this requirement under international treaty and laws like ACC, health and disability must be provided BY THE GOVERNMENT WHO SIGNED THE TREATIES and must adhere to Rule of Law. As well as the added requirement to not act unethically and immorally under rule of a monarch that is head of a Christian church. Please refer to my website and postings regarding regional mental health facilities and regional rehabilitation centres. Where the things I learnt at university about professional treatment care rehabilitation and justice are actually provided in a dignified and professional way to all who need it in their local community.


In the past few weeks I have tested my theory about mental health and been proven right yet again. I have phoned new sexual abuse help line and other suicide help lines, as well as Geneva Health etc trying to get services and very upset. They all hang up on me, they tell me they are only there for people with mild mental health issues, not for people like me who can’t get services. They all suggest I contact Health & Disability Commission but I just got turned down by them last week for another complaint of discrimination by police on my file. They passed the buck to the Privacy Commissioner not knowing I had contacted him at the same time and he told me wasn’t his responsibility, they could say what they wanted.

Also been turned down by a counsellor who I was told was going to assist me in seeing a GP – I currently don’t have one and havn’t been able to see one in almost two years, I have other health issues (please help me I’m scared, other mentally ill people get support to go to the doctor, why not me?). He was going to help me get back the Occupational Therapist etc so my care from 2009 could be REINSTATED as required by two ACC reviews. The counsellor told me that wasn’t his role – but refused to tell me what his role was supposed to be or what ACC told him – I know he had read a psych report of mine saying I was unwell and needed residential care. I have emailed him and asked him what his role was under Privacy Act but have had no acknowledgement.

I have so many stories of discrimination and abuses of mine and others rights, so many I have sent to politicians, justice organisations, etc, all ignored. Sometimes I think writing to politicians etc just helps them work out ways to not give people justice, professional co-ordinated treatment care rehabilitation and safe homes.  Or perhaps avoid compensation payments to those they have harmed with their neo-liberal social experiment.

All this report on Human Rights abuses in New Zealand really wants to achieve is for the government to do what they say they do, according to professional health models, UN treaties and constitutional laws – why is that impossible in 21st Century New Zealand.


Kia kaha and aroha to us all

Validation – Unnecessary suffering & persecution of poor by rich elites in New Zealand

Been checking out more of Chris Hedges work at RT ON CONTACT – its validation of everything I have learned and suspected for years.  These people are the most vile greedy murderers and they’ve turned so many in New Zealand into images of themselves – especially our judiciary and universities – which is taking some time to get my head around.

This information gives you a good overview of how America, New Zealand, UK and others have got to this point.  Knowledge is power NOW action is vital.  Going to be following more of what Richard Wolff has been saying, educating myself and screaming it in the faces of all our politicians – especially Labour after their appalling comments this week – that do nothing to change our neo-liberal nightmare.  Like Jacinda Adhern saying how Labour is going to fix youth suicide with nurses in schools – completely ignoring WHY these young people have no hope for the future and want to kill themselves.  Will of course lead straight into the hands of the elites who own all the drug companies.

The following On Contact discussion about Prophets, was like watching someone describe my motivation and life over past 15 years since I was raped and expected to receive health care I needed and was entitled to from ACC – according to multiple laws.  I am just doing what so many before me have done throughout history – shouldn’t be surprised of course with what I know about traumatic stress disorders/persecution and human behaviour.

Then there was this one which blew me away, it came up randomly but once I started watching I couldn’t stop.  Wouldn’t it be amazing to see these sort of truth on mainstream TV – but no the elites have got that all sewn up, censorship is their game – mmmmm that gives me some ideas.

Human Rights in New Zealand – what is a Civil Society?

I have been avoiding beginning my response to the new book by Judy McGregor, Sylvia Bell and Margaret Wilson called Human Rights in New Zealand – Emerging Faultlines.  One of the hurdles was their book structure included in each chapter, the involvement of ‘Civil Society’.

I do not believe we have a civil society after the years of discrimination and failure of the Word of Law I have experienced.  So my first chapter will be dedicated to establishing what a Civil Society is and prove New Zealand is no longer operating in one.

It has also been necessary to start this at my local library on my website because my home computer no longer operates without an electrical cord and I become so traumatised and unwell when alone at home doing this it isn’t safe.  Being around people helps, even if they do not know what I am doing – although it does make me feel further alienated, marginalised and isolated at the same time.

You have to go to Wikipedia of course when you are looking for definitions  I was drawn to the root of the phrase – the Etymology

The term civil society goes back to Aristotle‘s phrase koinōnía politikḗ (κοινωνία πολιτική), occurring in his Politics, where it refers to a ‘community’, commensurate with the Greek city-state (polis) characterized by a shared set of norms and ethos, in which free citizens on an equal footing lived under the rule of law. The telos or end of civil society, thus defined, was common wellbeing (τὸ εὖ ζῆν tò eu zēn), in as man was defined as a ‘political (social) animal’ (ζῷον πολιτικόν zōon politikón).[5][6][7][8] Though the concept was mentioned in Roman writers, such as Cicero, it entered into Western political discourse following the translation of Aristotle’s works into Latin (societas civilis) by late medieval and early Renaissance writers such as William of Moerbeke and Leonardo Bruni, where it often referred to the ancient notion of a republic (res publica). With the rise of a distinction between monarchical autonomy and public law, the term then gained currency to denote the corporate estates (Ständestaat) of a feudal elite of land-holders as opposed to the powers exercised by the prince.[9] It had a long history in state theory, and was revived with particular force in recent times, in Eastern Europe, where dissidents such as Václav Havel employed it to denote the sphere of civic associations threatened by the intrusive holistic state-dominated regimes of Communist Eastern Europe.[10]

I am also drawn to the United Nations declarations on human disabled civil economic political etc rights, along with agreements about torture etc.  Their booklet on Civil Society and the role of Civil Society Actors has become important in establishing this definition.  I suppose it is particularly important when dealing with the violence issues I do as an activist in the area of mental health care for mentally injured abuse victims.  As expressions of violence have become so abhorant to our entire society at the same time as we create an environment that drives many traumatised people to violence.  It appears from my extensive study and observations violent people are the new JEW when comparing to the rise of the NAZIs and the resulting emergence of the United Nations as a vehicle of preventing violence and keeping the peace.

I have noted that no organisation government or non-government in fact advocate for or represent mentally injured or ill people who have violence as an impairment related to their disability.  Organisations related to mental health do not want to be associated with people who become violent as a result of their disorders.  I have heard it myself at a mental health art facility in Lower Hutt where it was expressed how many more violent and dangerous people attended the art workshop in Upper Hutt – that the people in Lower Hutt weren’t like that.

The most definitive proof of course are the numbers of mentally ill people in or going through our justice and prison system for violence offences.  It is estimated 70% of prison inmates have mental health issues and the majority of these have histories of their own abuse.

I myself have violence issues, uncontrollable rage that I manage by turning the violence on myself and vent verbally at those who are supposed to protect and care for me.  Not that I threaten them with harm myself, but I pass it over to spirit and tell them that they are going to get the violent karma they deserve with the passive/aggressive and physical violence they perpetrate against 10,000s of abused and traumatised mentally injured men women and children.  Because the government and people in the VIOLENCE/ABUSE INDUSTRY are now so corrupted/uncivilized they currently have me in court for Misuse of a Telephone for expressing my rage, hatred and desire for karma against ACC – the agency most responsible for my worsening mental health, poverty, unemployment etc.

Thankfully I have a senior psychiatrist I was allowed to see last year who understands what is happening to me and can express this as a mental health issue – not dissimilar to tourettes.  As I tick in times of severe stress and have other attributes of tourettes it is related in some way to this disorder – plus when I am ‘venting’ there is no way of stopping it, until it has run its course.  His testimony, along with Bill of Rights defence should get me acquitted of this charge and police deterred from attempting this sort of prosecution again.


The Science of strong vs weak in our societies

Was reading through an excellent book by Bessel van der Kolk and others called Traumatic Stress – The Effects of Overwhelming Experience on Mind Body and Society.  Written in the 1980s, I discovered it during my studies at Massey in 2006.  This is what our world leaders, governments, health professionals and judiciary know about trauma and violence – which is why I know they are corrupt and uncivilized – you don’t ignore science when dealing with these issues, you learn from it and react accordingly so you DON’T perpetuate it.  Was going to just write out a couple of paragraphs but felt I needed to do more of it.  Anybody interested should get hold of the book though, its brilliant, true, ignored and brilliant.

NOTE: I don’t intend to proof read or correct spelling, so excuse any typos.

Trauma and Its Challenge to Society

“Shell shock.  How many a brief bombardment had its long-delayed after-effect in the minds of these survivors.  Not then was their evil hour, but now; now, in the sweating suffocation of nightmare, in paralysis of limbs, in the stammering of dislocated speech.  In the name of civilisation these soldiers had been martyred and it remained for civilisation to prove that their martyrdom wasn’t a dirty swindle.

Siegfried Sassoon WWI solider and poet –

People have always gathered in communities and organisations for aid in dealing with outside challenges.  They seek close emotional relationships with others in order to elp them anticipate, meet, and integrate difficult experiences.  Emotional attachment is probably the primary protection against feelings of helplessness and meaninglessness; it is essential for biological survival in children and without it, existential meaning is unthinkable in adtults.  For young children, the family is usually a very effective sources of protection against traumatization and most children are amazingly resilient as long as they have a caregiver who is emotionally and physically available.  Mature people also rely on their families, colleagues and friends to provide such a protective membrane.  In recognition of this need for affiliation as a protection against trauma, it is widely accepted that the central issue in disaster management is provision and restoration of social support.


When people’s own resources are depleted, outside help needs to be mobilized to compensate for their helplessness.  During acute trauma, the social environment tends to respond with generosity; from tribal mourning ceremonies to Red Cross disaster relief, every society seems to have evolved social and religious structures that are geared to helping acutely distressed people until they can resume looking after themselves.  External validation about the reality of a traumatic experience in a safe and supportive context is a vital aspect of preventing and treating post traumatic stress. However, the creation of such a context for recovery can become very complicated when the psychological needs of victims and the needs of their social network conflict.  When victims’ helplessness persists (as in Complex, Chronic and Compounding PTSD, or when the trauma is secret, forbidden, or unacceptable (as in intrafamilial abuse or government-sanctioned violence), the trauma is unlikely to result in the mobilization of external resources, in restitution, or in the meting out of justice.  Because of the lack of validation and support, traumatic memories are more likely to continue to prey on the victims’ minds and to be expressed as anger, withdrawal or otherwise disrupted and disrupting behaviours.

(Personal note:  Really unwell at the moment, can’t stick at one thing for too long so going to post what I’ve typed, go and make some biscuits etc, then come back to it.)



Complaint against abusive neo-liberalism in government & legislature – Part 4-6

Also sent to: Chief Justice, Auditor General, HRC, UN High Commission for Human Rights, Ombudsmen, media, Katrina shanks MP, Judith Collins, Paula Bennett, Russel Norman, David Cunliffe, Wairarapa DHB, Law Commission, Health & Disability Commission, Director of Mental Health (blocked from him but referred to this website so he has access to the letters), Chen Palmer, ACC complaints, etc.

19 September 2013

Attention: Secretary for Justice

Mr Andrew Bridgman

And others


Dear Mr Bridgman,




I’m on a roll now, every day I want to write a letter, it is your responsibility to stop this gross miscarriage of justice towards traumatised people – especially people unable to cope in our abusive, self-serving, immoral country.  That is what 25 years of neo-liberalism has done to us made the rich rich and the poor poorer, which has ensured the suffering and poverty of hundreds of thousands of people.  That we had human civil and political rights to protect us that did not, is a sad indictment to democracy and an example of the true immorality of our political, legal and business leaders (ie the rich and powerful).


This morning I woke up with the thought of just how obvious the corruption is, so obvious I know there must be mental health professionals who know what is going on and saying little.  Or is it the scenario expressed by those at the Constitutional/public policy lectures earlier this year, where our politicians don’t listen to the advice of their ministries any longer if it doesn’t suit their political agenda.


How can I explain this simply – the brain is the most complicated organ of the body and yet the people working in most mental health services now are some of the most uneducated health ‘professionals’ we have.  A suicide attempt is someone almost dying and yet the majority of people who aren’t successful are told they are doing it for attention, to snap out of it, are abused and degraded by police, etc, that they are not mentally ill and therefore not the responsibility of mental health services.


When I first became suicidal I went to a doctor called Craig Cherry, a long-time Carterton GP, when I explained what was happening and how I was feeling he told me to make sure I did a good job because health professionals hated cleaning up the mess from unsuccessful suicide attempts.  At the time I am sure I was just stunned and didn’t know as much as I do today about the science and reason behind my suicidality.  I used to see this man and his wife sometimes if I was out at a local music venue, after I saw him as GP, he always looked down or away when he saw me – it was quite obvious.  I have been through 12 or is it 13 GPs since I was raped and developed this stress disorder, each one abusive and ignorant – but some much worse than most.


I suppose that is one of the hardest things when you educate yourself and become a lay-expert in your disorder and the law, when you meet people who are ignorant, bigoted and corrupt you know it – even if they don’t.


Another really simple fact to grasp is behaviour is studied under psychology, psychology is the responsibility of mental health services – mental health services have decided not to provide health care for anybody who is not ‘mentally ill’.  I am unable to find out just how they reach a distinction between someone who has just tried to commit suicide being mentally ill or ?????  actually I don’t know what the other option is using their language.  I have a theory that those people being turned away are actually mentally injured, normal people who have suffered severe unresolved trauma such as sexual or physical abuse and neglect.


Another no-brainer, nurses (CAT team) spend less than an hour assessing people as to their mental state if they are in police custody as a result of suicide issues.  I can confirm the times I have seen them the maximum was about 20 minutes.  In what other medical profession would one 20 minute consultation by a nurse be considered ethical and appropriate diagnosis of a life-threatening health issue.  I have been assessed when highly suicidal and in extreme psychological pain by the Masterton CAT team which included an Occupational Therapist and a social worker.  That lasted about 10 minutes from what I remember – then the police took me home to my two kids – all of them knowing I had none or woefully inadequate support.


What happened the day the OT and social worker assessed me will be etched in my memory forever like any other life and death event a person goes through.  I recall being in the police interview room after someone called them (ACC or the Ombudsman I think) because I had phoned yet again begging for health care and telling them how unwell I was.  I was extremely distressed and begged them for health services, the Occupational Therapist told me plainly that mental health did not provide health services.  When I fell to my knees hysterical and crawled towards the two men I grabbed the social worker around the ankles begging both of them for help.  The OT told me I was embarrassing myself and should get off the floor.  All of a sudden something triggered in my brain (this has happened before when I have been extremely traumatised by rejection/neglect) and I stood up and became calm.  I wiped away my tears, stood to my full height and told them I was fine could I please leave now.  They both looked at each other and didn’t know what to do.  I repeated, there is nothing wrong with me I am fine, can the police please take me home now.


The two men left the police interview room, I was alone and the calm went back to ‘internal’ hysteria, which took everything within my power to stop from flipping out and smashing up the room.  I could not let them see how freaked out I was or I would not be able to leave and I was scared of the police for good reason (once the CAT team tell them you are not mentally ill some feel they have licence to insult and degrade you even more).  I wanted to get back home, to be away from this abusive enforced environment.  I remember hearing a policeman outside the door say to the two men, you’re not allowed to leave her alone in there, you know that – but they did anyway for what seemed like an eternity.  This was several years ago and I am sure police CCTV footage of what happened in that room (to confirm my story) would have been deleted by now.  Is it any wonder that one of my current barriers to health care is I refuse to participate in any treatment care or rehabilitation process without the meetings being recorded.  I have had some success at demanding they be recorded but other issues related to the violent aspects of my disorder have meant I cannot access services – ACC and mental know of these impairments and choose to ignore them.  They refuse to provide me a safe environment to meet – please refer to Louise Grant (advocate), I will talk about this later, its starting to upset me).


NOTE:  SUICIDAL THOUGHTS HAPPEN TO YOU, YOU DON’T CHOOSE THEM!!!!  They come from your subconscious, they are not something you CHOOSE to think about – no matter how much people want to believe it.  Honestly what person would choose to visualise killing themselves in all different ways, the very idea is ridiculous.  When you develop these debilitating thoughts you have repeated near-death experiences which of course makes your stress disorder even worse.  A lot of my poems will describe what it is like to live with suicidal ideology – bought on by abuse, neglect and discrimination in society.  Living with suicidality is the greatest hell on earth – I envy people who kill themselves – the relief, the end to suffering.


I think it is time to talk more about what it is like to be suicidal and how you are treated when you are.  A few stories are in order:


Years ago when I was working/doing art at King Street Artworks (a mental health NGO that trespassed me for doing art that criticized ACC and mental health services).  I spent around three to four days a week there, they were like my family, I was always mistaken for a tutor, probably because I was more helpful and considerate of the other artists disabilities and needs.  I am a kind and compassionate person I feel comfortable and confident around vulnerable disabled people with mental health issues.  I was doing a lot of therapy art about how bad I felt and how suicidal I was at the time, this was not encouraged or approved of by the tutors and many of the other artists (with less severe mental health issues) – weird when they are supposed to be a health provider.


People knew they would get good support from me and I always encouraged and praised people for their efforts – at the same time as being honest and genuine – I believe people should be encouraged to do more than they think themselves capable of in a diplomatic and sensitive way.  Some of these people are extremely fragile and vulnerable – I can pick up on that and adjust my behaviour appropriate.  I became friends with a teenage boy who was partly intellectually handicapped and bought in by a caregiver to do art on a regular basis (I can’t recall his name) – I have been trespassed from King Street for years now.


On this particular day they came in I was doing some art around my suicidality, he came over to me and whispered that he knew how I felt but I shouldn’t tell anybody, because you can get into trouble and they would hurt me.   It was one of my most defining moments, even now it brings tears to my eyes.  I can’t remember what I said to him, words of comfort and assurance I would be OK probably.


This same boy (I think his name was John) I saw a few years later at the carboot sale in Masterton every week.  I had started going to sell my poetry and other art objects I was making, it was one of my first times so I was still unsure of myself.  I was sitting there about 9am (it starts at 7am) when a small group of people walked past me between my car and the next, it was a Maori lady (obviously a care giver) with two handicapped young men in tow (one of them was John, now a young man about 22).  She stopped to talk to someone in the next car and the boys behind her were forced to be blocked in between my stall/car and the next.  She was talking for a long time when the Maori boy was obviously agitated because he couldn’t go anywhere and felt trapped – she ignored him until he was almost beside himself.


She moved off past my stall, I said hello to John briefly, he just smiled but didn’t interact much – even though he looked like he wanted to stay and talk to me.  On the other side of me were two women doing a sausage sizzle, the caregiver obviously knew them and ordered herself a sausage in bread with all the trimmings.  Then, while they were making it she turned around and said to the boys in a very loud voice, that there was no way they were going to get anything to eat, they already had their breakfast and they weren’t allowed to eat again until she told them.  The two woman at the stall tried to say something and I just sat there stunned.  She said more, but I can’t remember the exact words, only that they were extremely degrading.


The body language of John and his friend told the story, they backed away from the woman (I remember John was in bare feet, which I thought odd as well), lowered their heads, their chests sunken and shoulders curled forward.  She degraded those two young men in a way no man should ever be degraded, no human being should ever be degraded, especially two vulnerable people like that.  Because at the time I was too scared to confront people in a new situation like that I said nothing.  When I got home I couldn’t get the event out of my head and attempted to find out where John lived and who the caregiver was so I could make a formal complaint.  But I couldn’t remember his name, only his description (though I know he would be easily recognisable to most people working in community mental health services).


I had no contact with mental health services at the time because of my own neglect and abuse by them.  However I did write to my MP John Hayes and tell him what had happened, gave a description of the boys and my concerns for their welfare at the hands of this abusive, unprofessional bully.  He did absolutely nothing!  If you want a copy of this email please advise or please request from John Hayes, although I cannot give an exact year it was around Waitangi day because there was some big new cultural event being held at Masterton park.


Every time I see a news item about the appauling immoral abusive behaviour of some independent mental health providers I think of John, I wonder if he is OK I send him white light and love to protect him.  He still lives in Masterton I think (I don’t go there much anymore – I don’t go out much anymore, no money and to many bad memories about what King Street did to me.  I wish I knew if he was OK  – I am sure he won’t be because I know just how abusive services are here and how corrupt, cruel and abusive the complaints process is here for people with mental health issues.




I have always been interested in the concept of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs with regard to the most basic psychological and physical needs of person.   Recently I found a copy of it and realised there was not one item on the list that was being fulfilled in my life – which is why I believe I am so suicidal and so are many other people.  After years of abusive and degrading neo-liberalism the poorest and most vulnerable people in New Zealand suffer this cruel immoral injustice and nobody does a thing about it.  I often think of the government as inhumane and completely devoid of rational thought and compassion – no matter how great the scientific evidence that neglect harms all of society or how contrary to our Christian society this appauling  behaviour is.


Why are disabled, human, civil and political rights that are supposed to protect us from immorality and corruption by government not being applied??






I am the bottom of the pile, the bottom of the 10%, the human sewage created by cruel immoral neo-liberal bigots devoid of empathy or compassion and filled with greed and ignorance.  I am rotting on long-term welfare with a life-threatening debilitating stress disorder, I cannot get the care I am entitled to by law and I am persecuted for speaking out and demanding my rights under ACC, health, disability, code of rights, human rights and bill of rights laws, I am so broke.  These letters are from the Darklands of New Zealand in 2013, I am ashamed, I am hurt but I am fighting with everything I have.   The pen is mightier than the sword I’m told – we shall see.


NOTE: I consider the national anthem as part of our current constitution and therefore a promise to me as a citizen for a certain standard of government, justice and treatment.  What I am currently experiencing is cruel and immoral torture at the hands of corrupt neo-liberal bigots ignoring all scientific and medical evidence as to the harm they are causing to hundreds of thousands of New Zealand citizens.  This is not my culture!


The role of the media as a propaganda tool and creator of dissension envy and hate.


I havn’t been able to stop thinking about what the glazier said to me about not fixing windows in rental properties, as well as the Renters programme I flicked past recently on the TV.  This programme is really really bad for creating the dissension envy and hate I talked about.  How is this even allowed on TV, going into people’s homes while they are not there – how would any of the people reading this like it.  You don’t know those people’s stories, they could be really unwell, have mental health or physical health issues that stops them from cleaning up after themselves.


This programme ridicules and degrades people, without knowing why they are in the state they are, it is immoral and makes people not trust and fear all people who rent houses.  No matter how many good tenants there are.


Why are there no programmes about bad landlords?  Then maybe people like me would get necessary work done around our homes by professionals rather than handymen who don’t give a toss about you or your families safety or comfort.


What about doing some background on these people, what about getting these people the help they need to get cleaned up and get into a decent house of their own.  Somewhere you can put your own art on your walls and you can have a dog – which is a cultural right in this country.   Instead our media make it a form of ridicule and shaming, which permeates through the community and ends up at my door with the glazier refusing to fix a window because I am a renter.


This also incites class hatred and again, how can anybody think it is OK to go into someone’s home with a camera and put it on national television – it is perverted.




This is another show that really upsets me, firstly because I see so many police uniforms as a threat in my life due to my ongoing disability and associated suicidality.  Also we only see one side of the story, what about all the times police have assaulted and degraded me for protesting about the appauling state of ACC and mental health services – no cameras there.  (I now have a video and have captured two bad experiences with police, but there were many more).


It creates a lot of fear and discrimination in our communities against teenagers and drinking.  My daughters are 18 and 19 so I have been around teenagers for a few years and always encouraged their friends around.  I saw several instances where the police bullied, degraded and insulted teenagers, held them unnecessarily, made them do what they wanted just because they could.  You never got any of that on TV.


It also paints the picture of a perfect police force and they certainly are not that.  Why not have a programme exposing the bad side of the police – I am sure there would be lots of stories and camera phone footage to use.  Like the time they tried to shut down the college ‘after-ball party’ because the three 18 year old girls didn’t have a liquor licence.  Which nobody knew was required because nobody they had ever heard of a private party (that wasn’t selling alcohol) needing one.  The event was supervised by parents and went with little incident.  I was thrown out of the Featherston Police station by Lord Nelson (Sgt Nelson) after trying to reason with him about not shutting down the party.  In the end we ignored him, had the party anyway, it went with little incident, the kids had a good time and we spent the next six months with Lord Nelson trying to prosecute the three 18 year old girls, until the charges were eventually dropped.




I have just been to do the weekly shopping with $50 and I almost broke down in the supermarket three times.  I had to stop and compose myself, hold back the tears, trying not to let a panic attack develop so I had to run out.  I havn’t had panic attacks for years – its all the shit that’s going on at the moment, along with money worries and knowing there is no care for me.


Have had a few melt-downs today, where I just stop in the middle of doing something and almost burst into tears.  I think this is why.  I’m worried about money and how we are going to live on $50 food a week – I have had to change our diet – no meat this week.  I’m going to post a photo of the docket on my website.  My second daughter is talking about going flatting and I won’t be able to live here but I have no money to move either.  My mental health is really bad and I’m scared of everybody.


When I was in the supermarket my body language was one of fear, I purposely avoided looking at people, in case they saw how sad I was, I felt nervous my eyes darting around (which is a bad sign of my PTSD) my body feels under attack.  I was scared of people – like they knew what a loser and bludger I was (someone on long term welfare that said they were suicidal for attention).  Several men walked past and I wanted to burst into tears again, how many years with no partner – mostly due to the rape and resulting stress disorder – what man wants a destitute suicidal nutter with an attitude.


I forgot my calculator so all the way round I had to count up in my head how much I had spent.  I had to start again every time I started to have a panic attack.


I saw Josh (daughters ex-boyfriend) get in the car with the neighbours today, its good he’s getting some help and he hasn’t text my daughter for a couple of days so that’s good.  But it made me sad that everybody else got support through this while I’m left freaking out with ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.


The policeman upset me yesterday as well, while I was trying to sort out Josh getting help so he doesn’t commit suicide and leaves my daughter to get on with her life, the policeman at the end of the conversation said what about you Jayne.  I wanted to yell at him but what’s the point, I just said you know as well as I do I get absolutely nothing so please don’t ask and don’t pretend you give a shit either.


For some reason I miss my useless family at the moment, havn’t spoken to any of them for months – why would I after what my mother said about me protesting as proof I could easily work and was just being a bludger.  I know my whole family think that, they’ve got their easy lives.


Then there is my best friend? Sarah, we can’t be friends anymore the difference in income doesn’t allow it.  She has just come back from a month in England, while she was away I house sat, I would go there every day, open and close curtains, mowed the lawns, stayed a few nights, did a bit of housework so it was nice when she got home.  I dropped her off at the airport and picked her up – I had to get $30 out of my $50 savings to get the petrol to pick her up – it freaked me out but I couldn’t tell her how broke I am.


I phoned her yesterday to see how she was and got told how she was going to a (rich) friends for tea that night and how they had all booked tickets to Melbourne in November.  This friend has just bought a third house in Carterton, just a small place because she can rent her big place out for about $600 a week.  She just sold a large local café as well.  She is a nice person and we have birthdays on the same day, my life would have been similar to hers if I hadn’t been raped and neglected by ACC etc.


You try not to look at what other people are buying because it makes you feel even more worthless.


There was so much nice food that I couldn’t buy it was so so sad – eg 2 onions in the vege department, nothing in the meat department.  I didn’t even walk down all the isles – no cereals or fruit.


This is how ostracized you feel in New Zealand when you are at the very bottom of the pile.  You don’t belong anywhere, if I had seen the glazier I would have ran out of the building.  You don’t want to see people you know because you can barely speak for fear of bursting into tears.  You walk around with your head hanging low, trying to avoid people and seeing all the nice food you wished you could buy.


You think about all the people who put you here and don’t care, all the ACC staff, mental health staff, mean police, politicians, justice officials and people in your community (like the glazier).


Now I’m again asking the question what possible benefit could it be to my community to be left without mental health care, isolated, ostracized and freaking out – trying to parent teenagers and having just been through a suicide attempt and abuse by an ex-boyfriend.


Why are you doing to this to me?  I don’t understand, it hurts me, it hurts people around me, it wastes my talents and knowledge, it is torture, it is experimentation without my consent and it is brainwashing of my community.  Propaganda like There’s no excuse for child abuse” – tell that mother who cut her babys throat and slit her wrists after being refused health care three times.


I am entitled to everything in the business plan and rehabilitation model I created, see my website  Solutions Page.  This is what me and thousands of other people need.  When I read that Rio Tinto got a $30million handout from the government, when I know people like me can’t get care because they say there is no money – I am furious.  I phoned Rio Tinto in Perth today, got hold of a manager in their media team and told him exactly what I thought of this payment, and who paid for it really.  The guy tried to defend himself but I was in full flight, swearing and all.  Told him I was from New Zealand and people couldn’t get decent housing, have enough food for their families and were going without heating because of the huge cost of power.  How I was disgusted in this sort of greed and irresponsibility.  Felt really good – I’ll post on facebook the phone numbers for other people to ring.  I like holding people to account.






I have learnt several new facts in the last few days, which has inspired this letter.


Firstly a psychiatrist earns over $5,000 for an assessment of a sensitive claimant.


Corrupt = adj 1. Willing to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain. (tick) evil or morally depraved (tick) 3. Rotten or putrid (tick) v. 1. Cause to become corrupt (tick) 2. Debase by making errors (tick) 3. Infect, contaminate (tick)


I believe ACC to be corrupt by paying health professionals money, they manipulate them by denying them work if they don’t provide the answers management want.  Like achieving targets at getting rid of the tale or the low hanging fruit.  Payments like those above have corrupted some of our more neo-liberal and greedy mental health ‘professionals’.  The psychiatrist that assessed me (Anne Walsh) is mentally disturbed and was involved with another psychiatrist in an attempted murder of his wife.  She should be struck off but there is no way of making a complaint about her when ACC are paying for the assessment – because she is not your health provider, even though she has a say in every treatment etc you get.  It is sick.


There are good mental health professionals in New Zealand, like Dr Alan Doris and Dr Mason Jury but they are ignored.  I have a report by Alan Doris that says how appaulingly ACC have treated me, it is ignored (please contact me if you would like a copy, or those authorised please request from ACC.)


I know for a fact ACC management staff were paid huge cash bonuses to achieve cuts that were only achieveable by denying claimants entitlements – and they did it in every deceitful, manipulative and fraudulent way they could think of.  There are thousands of examples of ACC claimants taking them to court, especially follow the National party appointment of John Judge.  Nothing has changed for me, I am assuming nothing has changed for other people.  That YANK they brought in to clean up ACC after the Bronwyn Pullar debacle only bought in more measures to stop severely disabled abuse victims from accessing appropriate, adequate and professional treatment care rehabilitation and protection/justice.  I thought it was an interesting tactic to cut all public telephone access to management staff and force people wanting to get through to abusive management and The Board to go through the call centre – who of course refuse to put people through to anybody except their managers.


I also learnt that there has been a 600% increase in the numbers of people being acquitted of crimes due to insanity.  This is more proof that mentally ill and injured people are being persecuted in the justice system.  The government know the current NGO mental health system does not work – they were advised of this by KPMG consultants at the Crime Punishment and Fiscal Responsibility lecture two years ago.  The UK dumped this method 17 years ago because the social statistics shows the NGOs were not providing services to those people they considered difficult or high needs – the very people the community wanted to get help as they were hurting others and highly dependent on the state.  I can confirm this is exactly what happens – current NGOs are lazy, greedy, abusive, oppressive, degrading and self-serving – more interested in their jobs/money and the praise they get from corrupt neo-liberals that ‘manage’ them.  Look at how corrupted ACC top level staff and the Board have become due to money and power – it is disgusting.


There are a few good people trying to work within the system but mostly they get out as they can’t bear to watch the abuse and persecution.  Like most people in this country they ignore it, trying to pretend people like me don’t exist.   I am human sewage, many people decided so, when they all stood back and did nothing, let them keep up this torture show!


Why am I sitting at 4.30am in Carterton having to write this letter?  Why is someone like me having to point out the gross miscarriage of justice going on here?  We know people are suffering and killing themselves and hurting others?


All I see the government doing is passing more laws to punish dysfunctional people, continue to allow them to be persecuted and neglected by mental health and social services, police and the courts.  I am part of this process – this is TORTURE – this is EXPERIMENTATION and there is BRAINWASHING of the population to believe mentally ill or injured abused people choose to do harm to themselves or others.  A complete lie, I live this, I understand this, I know my behaviour cannot be controlled in certain situations – that is why I am refused all health services because I am refused a safe place to meet with those who have been persecuting me for years.


Why is this being allowed to happen?  What the hell is going on?  Why would the government, knowing that the current NGO system doesn’t work keep doing it?  Why would they create dissension envy and hate against mentally ill and injured people in the community –they dumped them into?  Why would they put our communities at risk of further victimization – my case a perfect example?  I was raped by an abused child who became a man, recently my house was smashed up and an abused ex-boyfriend of my daughters tried to hang himself in my garage.  These people should have been helped, there are laws that demand it.  If ACC, mental health, the government, police and our politicians don’t have to follow the law, then neither do I.


This is a gross injustice and I cannot get a lawyer or this issue in front of a judge except by sending these letters to the Chief Justice, Secretary for Justice and many others.


And where are the media in all of this – this persecution of the most vulnerable people – sexually and physically abused men women and children is cruel, immoral and shows blatant corruption of our government and parliament.


Time to prove the judiciary aren’t just as corrupt and prepared to allow this abuse by government any longer.  There needs to be an urgent police inquiry into this – people are dying.  They need to implement urgent changes to mental health services for abuse victims and an appropriate allocation of resources to clean up the mess neo-liberalism has left.  I would also like to see $millions of charitable money going into this area.  Sport IS NOT CHARITY! A flash new playground for the local kindy IS NOT CHARITY!  A cultural event that charges money so poor people can’t go IS NOT CHARITY!


I have had enough, do you hear me, had enough.  My protests are going to escalate, there will be more peaceful civil disobedience and more graphic and confronting art.  You will not silence me!


If I am taken into custody I will not eat or drink, if I am committed by mental health I will not eat or drink in protest at being tortured and held as a political prisoner for protesting about the abusive state of mental health services for abused men women and children.


THIS MUST STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YOU HAVE THE POWER TO STOP IT – WHY ARE YOU ALLOWING IT TO GO ON???????????????  Get me a lawyer, hear my injustice, DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Yours sincerely


Jayne Routhan



Fight against neo-liberal corruption in ACC, mental health & police – PART 2

8 September 2013

Attention: Secretary for Justice

Mr Andrew Bridgman

And others


Dear Mr Bridgman,




Rise Above It – I wanna vomit

No Place for Violence – I wanna chuck

It’s Not OK – I have no stomach for



This poem is one called Vomit in The Black Book of poetry, please read, also note some of the strong language I use is how people in my culture speak when they are really really angry.  Any attempt to discredit or ignore what I am telling you because of a few completely valid swear words is discrimination.


This second letter has been like giving birth, a very painful birth with a labour that took 11 years of contractions and is now at its height and all consuming.  And of course I am giving birth to multiple babies alone, except for another woman in labour like me (Michelle).  I am also feeling a lot more philosophical and am prepared to stand up for my religious cultural and ethical rights in this letter.  As I sit here preparing to start I am petrified 11 years of information and analysis, 11 years of disappointment and persecution/neglect at the hands of people who we are supposed to trust, 11 years of dealing with neo-liberal discrimination and bigotry of NAZI proportions – all trying to come out in one document.


The nausea is overwhelming, it’s part of my stress disorder, I have an eating disorder called bulimia.  I know other sexually abused people who have eating disorders, like anorexia and and over-eating.  Eating disorders are a symptom of Complex PTSD, so is violence, anxiety, phobias, addictions, compulsions, suicidality and homocidality, plus a few more.  Please refer to any medical information on this disorder, Bessell van der Kolk is a leading authority in this area but there are many.


Complex Post Traumatic Stress disorder was identified as a disorder in its own right after the study of war veterans and people who had been held prisoner and tortured for long periods of time.  The very fact any person in New Zealand has this disorder (who is not currently being raped or beaten regularly) is in itself proof that the treatment care and rehabilitation being provided is abusive torture.  Which I can confirm, so can Michelle and many other people I talk to while protesting or working on social media.


Nigel Latter a celebrity psychologist on television said last year that neglect is just as psychologically damaging as physical abuse.  I can confirm this is a fact and over the years mental health services have been decimated by neo-liberals, under the guise of human rights, neglect is what they have done.  When an 18yr old dairy farmer working a 12 day week for minimum wage tries to hang himself in my garage, gets taken away by police and told by mental health he is not mentally ill and so there are no services – you know there is something seriously wrong.  What human being in their right mind would send someone who has almost died away?  Only two weeks ago I read a news report saying how many dairy farmers were committing suicide.  The police HATE mental health in the Wairarapa but most of them don’t mind insulting and degrading me/or other disabled people for wasting their time when someone concerned persons them saying they fear for my life.  In my case it is the people I am begging for help from, who are supposed to by law be helping me – they don’t.


Complex PTSD is a serious life-threatening traumatic stress disorder with a very high rate of death and extreme psychological suffering.  My book of poetry hopefully conveys the level of suffering, eg Mean Hearted People


…..How I wish I could touch you and then

You would know how much pain I go through

Then you might help me get the rehabilitation

I am legally entitled to….


At the moment I keep getting the story of The Emperor’s New Clothes popping into my mind and I am the little boy being honest about what they are seeing and I know other people are seeing too but ignoring.  I see who the swindlers are stealing all the money for something that isn’t really there (mental health is just marketing, telling people they must help themselves and/or drugging people into submission).  That I can apply this story to the current situation for abused/mentally injured and mentally ill people who are being persecuted by the government for needing the professional health care they are entitled to, again makes me nauseated.  I know the science, I know the law and I know what is going on in this country is a gross miscarriage of justice.


Until I can no longer live with the constant suicidal thoughts going through my head and end this hell on earth I will fight, I will fight with everything I have, I will write, I will beg, I will scream, I will hunger strike, I will talk, I will protest in the streets and in the places those supposed to protect us work.  I will also never ever stop writing to you and demanding you take responsibility for this injustice and act to stop it!  And even if the day of suicide comes because you havn’t listened to me, I will make sure as many people as possible know why I did it.


Of course our judiciary know about the neglect and persecution already.   On one of my earlier chalking protests I was outside the Supreme Court in Wellington (where I think human rights cases bought by citizens against the government should be heard) with a few friends.  Two well dressed young men came out and asked why we were protesting, so I told them.  They told me that the numbers of mentally ill people in the justice system was currently being looked at by the judiciary and was of concern.  This is of course a violation of the Human Rights and Bill of Rights Acts on the basis of disability.  Bill of Rights because this is inhumane and cruel torture, people are being experimented on by immoral corrupt neo-liberals who want these people to rely on their own resources to live (which has no medical/scientific support) and the rest of the country is being brainwashed to hate degrade and ostracize anybody that does becomes violent as a result of their disability and severe neglect.  There is an Act currently going through Parliament designed to persecute people who flip out and hurt a child for the rest of their lives – they don’t get the health care they are entitled to, just persecution.


I know first hand what persecution is, I have learnt the hard way, as soon as I use the word of course I am discredited, people refuse to believe the extent the government are prepared to go to in order to stop people getting mental health care.  This is especially true for sexual and physical abuse victims who are the SOLE responsibility of ACC and we all know how bad ACC are.  It is quite bizarre that everybody thinks and verbalises this to me but when I relate it to services that are damaging and abusive for sensitive claimants they refuse to believe it.  Bessell van der Kolk explains it best.




Reason and objectivity are not the primary determinants of society’s reactions to traumatised people.  Rather, as noted earlier, society’s reactions seem to be primarily conservative impulses in the service of maintaining the beliefs that the world is fundamentally just, that people can be in charge of their lives, and that bad things only happen to people who deserve them.


Bearers of bad tidings are generally considered dangerous; thus, societies tend to be suspicious that victims will contaminate the social fabric, undermine self-reliance, consume social resources and live of the strong.  The weak are a liability and after an initial period of compassion, are vulnerable to be singled out as parasites and carriers of social malaise.


Society can only make a commitment to victims if it accepts these two ideas: (1) that victims are not responsible for the fact they were traumatised; and (2) that if victims are not helped to deal with the memories of their trauma, they will become violent and anxious people, unreliable and easily distracted workers, inattentive parents, and/or people who use drugs and alcohol to help them cope with unbearable feelings…..”


Bessell is an American and they have been far more abusive and neglectful of their most vulnerable citizens for a lot longer than New Zealand.  As NZ media and our leaders have aligned themselves so strongly with America and adopted many of their ‘witchhunt’ mentality this is why we are only now seeing crimes more common in there.  In my opinion our incarceration statistics, which are now 2nd in the world behind America, are an example of this.


I am 48 I was bought up in a culture a lot different to what I am seeing today and I demand my cultural rights to be respected and accommodated as any person would, and is entitled to.  Inequality is not my culture, greed, hatred and degradation of the poor, corruption, governments ignoring the people and ignoring the law (eg ACC law), not my culture.  Most Maori of course like to blame all European New Zealanders, when there are thousands of us that find neo-liberalism abhorant and immoral.  I have as many Maori friends as Pakeha.  Like I tell them, this is a class war not a race war and rich and powerful Maori treat poor disabled and powerless Maori just as badly as Pakeha treat their poor disabled and powerless.  Although I have Maori friends that believe Maori mental health services are worse than others.  With the government propaganda machine ensuring people know the ‘bad’ statistics about Maori, they incite dissension envy and hate in our community.  Which goes unchecked thanks to our media.


Another quote from Bessell about the part artists can play in this issue follows and has inspired me to continue trying to make my creative works public at every opportunity (I have been ostracized from the local arts community for what I do, story to follow another time).  From other studies I also know that during trauma blood flow to the right side of the brain is significantly increased and decreased to the left.  Right brain is creative, left brain is communication – hence why when I am really stressed all I want to do is draw and why often I cannot speak when dealing with the authorities.  In my last letter I begged that if I am incarcerated by the police again, even for a short time that I could have paper and pen, as it is psychological torture to leave someone like me isolated with nothing to do.


Another extremely important piece of scientific evidence that proves beyond doubt that traumatised people are NOT responsible for their actions is tests done of brain activity in traumatised people.  Unfortunately I cannot find the reference to this but I am sure it is available with some investigation.  A few years ago scientists measured brain (electrical) activity on traumatised people.  The results showed that traumatised people’s brains do not fire in the neo-cortex where decisions/choices are made, they are most active in the Amygdala (instinct brain) and limbic part of the brain (where emotions are held).  So the propaganda the government produced saying ‘there’s no excuse for child abuse’ is just that propaganda designed to degrade a disabled and very vulnerable group of society.


Sociology and social anthropology



IDEA:  The people I am writing to have the authority and resources to organise phone taps and hide a recording device on someone investigating a crime.  I volunteer to do this, send me into mental health services and the police and I will get you the evidence you require to prove just how abusive the ACC, mental health, police torture wheel of hell is for suicidal stress disordered people.  This may not work because I havn’t got protection from being stripped naked – which is police policy (and not been subjected to constitutional scrutiny) from information I received under the Official Information Act.  The last time I was threatened by police with it I had a massive stress event, started shaking and ended up curled up in a ball in the corner of the processing room hysterical, screaming there was no way those perverts were getting my clothes off me and swearing A LOT.


I wish I could have presented what I know face to face, didn’t have to write yet again.  It is so much easier for me to provide the evidence required to challenge any objections or questions people have.  Than just trying to write EVERYTHING down as it pops into my head.  At the moment that is all I can do so I am.




This morning I woke up with the issue of how to challenge corrupt incompetent and bigoted health professionals (especially mentally disturbed mental health professionals).  That bought flooding back all my worst dealings with health professionals, the degradation, the lies, the rejection and abuse when I was so desperately hurt and needed them so much – and so did my children.  I will try and discuss some of the worst episodes but it is traumatising and ‘breaks my heart’ all over again that people, who are given authority & power over me by law, could get away with such cruel, immoral and unprofessional conduct.  Conduct I know to be criminally negligent, politically motivated and I would expect several corrupt ‘assessors’ within ACC to be prosecuted for criminal negligence.


I looked up corrupt in the dictionary yesterday, I often do that just to confirm that my words are correct.  It is the Oxford dictionary I had to buy for my law studies in 2001, it is well used.  People get angry and discredit me when I use words like corrupt, torture and persecution but I know what is happening to me and many others.  Last year I collected together the list of words I use to describe how we are being treated.  It was surreal and confronting, I will add corrupt to the list below, now I know its true meaning.


Change tact, freaking out – one of the things I have evaluated and tried to understand over the past 11 years was why was the care for me/us is so abusive, so inadequate and so different to the treatment care rehabilitation and justice services we are promised by laws, ‘marketing’ brochures and politicians.


The greatest clue was a documentary I saw on television a few years ago about a famous experiment (in the 50s I think), however I am not sure of the name of it or the scientist who performed it.  Anyway in this experiment a group of average people were taken off the street and asked to participate in an experiment.  They had set up a situation where they were asked to administer an electric shock of ever increasing pain to the victim and were given some bogus scientific reason as to why (I can’t recall what it was).  The victim was an actor they could only hear through a microphone, who over time got increasingly louder and obviously in extreme physical pain, begging them to stop, until finally he pretended to die.


In the room with the person was a man in a white coat, taking notes, he kept reassuring the person this was a valid experiment and to continue, no matter what the person was hearing from the victim.  60% of the people that were put through the experiment went to the point of killing the person.  This was an experiment about the influence of authority on people’s behaviour and just what they are prepared to do to others because someone in authority said so – no matter how immoral it was.  This is the most serious issue in ACC, mental health and the police today, this is what is killing us and allowing the corrupting influence of cruel immoral neo-liberal political theories into our health, welfare and justice systems.  It is also how the NAZIs rose to power while intelligent educated people stood back and did nothing, or even participated in the persecution.


This is what is happening in ACC, mental health and other government (or government funded) organisations.  It is causing the suffering and suicide of thousands of people, I deal with those at the front line who I know are being influenced in this way, it is frightening.  Especially when you have educated yourself and know what you are entitled to under the law.  You can tell these people as many facts as you like, they take the word of authority not you, often apologetically even, but they leave you suicidal and severely dysfunctional (with the responsibility of children) and think it is OK.


Over the years and thousands of phone calls I have seen a pattern to the personality types ACC and mental health employ (the police are a slightly different story).  In fact I believe the current ACC case manager they have assigned me has a psychological disability, a speech impediment (which sounded like she was either on heavy medication or just ‘slow’).


The threat of unemployment has contributed significantly to this corruption where money and advancement for the most corrupted (often neo-liberal – National Act voters) of employees in ACC is standard practice.  I worked for ACC in 2000 as a temp, relevant experiences from that time I can call on are as follows:


Firstly Ruth Dyson was Minister and was caught drunk driving – I know staff at ACC were devasted and disgusted – all good Helen gave her job back as soon as she could.  I worked in funding in pricing administering contracts to businesses, at the time the manager got a $30,000 bonus for cutting costs – he bought a boat.  At the same time it was all over the media how little call centre staff were getting.  The woman I replaced while on leave was an amazing woman who had worked for ACC for 30 years – she told me. “All the good people leave”.  My analysis of this situation is that ACC is run by the dregs of our workforce – which is true – it is run by those who are most compliant to authority and corrupted by neo-liberal political theories with no basis in medical or scientific fact.


ACC was happy with my work and kept asking me to stay on, so a 3 month contract ended up six months.  I have always been involved in politics and at one point went to a NZ First conference in Hamilton over a weekend.  I was seen on the news in the audience.  When I returned to work the following week, it was big news where I had been for the weekend.  People knew I had an interest in politics as I used to join in with staff discussions about different current issues and it was plainly obvious that all the staff had right-wing neo-liberal ideals.  They were often abusive and hostile towards Green MPs especially, they ALL hated their jobs, which I found interesting but several told me the money was just too good and they would never get it anywhere else.


Corrupt . adj. 1. Willing to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain.  Oxford English dictionary.


I have hundreds of emails, letters and phone calls (probably thousands) where I have challenged staff about not following its own laws and processes, quoted sections of the act, discussed medical evidence etc, to no avail.  I had absolutely no authority or say in my health care – which is also a violation of disability and health laws – but that will be discussed at a later time.  In response to these challenges ACC have set up an elaborate but very effective system for ensuring claimants – especially traumatised sensitive claimants are not given the professional health care they are entitled to under the law.


This system of neo-liberal control is fundamentally the same as what happened during the rise of the NAZIs in Germany.  A good friend, historian, told me the reason Hitler happened was because of extreme punishments inflicted on Germany after WW I, which lead to poverty and unemployment.  Poverty and unemployment are an accepted consequence of neo-liberalism.  It is required to bring down wages – please refer to Inside NZ – Someone Else’s Country and Mind the Gap documentaries about the Treasury document adopted after Muldoon was ousted in the 80s.  In that document it spells out that wages and welfare are too high to compete in the international marketplace (against people that were being used almost as slaves).  As a result the corrupt neo-liberal government cut welfare and as all the poverty indicators, like disease, poor mental health, violence increased they started a campaign of propaganda to degrade and discredit the suffering & disabled poor.


The fundamental principle of neo-liberalism is we are all responsible for ourselves and success in life is completely within our control, irrelevant of circumstance or environment.


After WWII the United Nations was created and several very intelligent and enlightened people developed international laws to stop a repeat of the rise of NAZIism.  These are now under documents such as the Declarations on Human Civil and Political rights, documents this country is signed up to and continue to tell the UN that they adhere to – however they do not.  People who realised it was censorship and discrimination of minority groups (who were perceived by some as the cause of poverty and unemployment) that enabled Hitler and his generals to gain so much power and kill so many innocent people.  Remember thousands of Germans died to protect their rights to kill thousands of Jewish, disabled, mentally ill and gay people.  It is naïve to think the current climate of discrimination against the poor, disabled and unemployed (especially abused people with stress disorders who become violent) history is not repeating itself.


Of course it is not just the NAZIs, I would suspect it lead to the fall of every rich and powerful empire in human history – all which have eventually been overrun by persecuted peasants – due to this very ugly side to our humanity.  You would think people would learn from history, but as it says in the bible, power and money corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.  In New Zealand parliament is supreme, when they disbanded the Upper House, they introduced other measures to ensure democracy, laws and justice was not able to be corrupted by cruel and immoral groups of people.  Measures like the Auditor-General – I will talk later about my dealings with these revolting people.  Also adoption into NZ law of human civil and political rights as defined under international declarations and administered/upheld by organisations like Health and Disability Commission, Human Rights Commission and office and the Ombudsman.  These are the channels for justice for the poor.  Sadly Human Rights abuses are considered civil law in this country and my attempt to get the police to prosecute ACC and mental health organisations and individuals under criminal law have failed (particularly Section 157 of the Crimes Act).


Would any person who is reading these letters be prepared to work for minimum wage, doing a mind-numbingly boring job – like Josh (my daughter’s boyfriend) – working a 12 day working week with 2 days off for a boss who is degrading and abusive?  Is it any wonder he tried to hang himself.


The other failures have been the organisations set up to protect citizens from persecution by governments – they do not work and have been corrupted to the point of abusive, towards the very people they are supposed to protect.  I have a few thousands emails and letters of the past 11 years demanding my rights to professional health care and justice provided under law be applied to me.  These letters are available on request or can be accessed through my ACC, mental health, medical files for those who are authorised to access them (refer to my first letter).   All of my protests/occupations/trespasses are from those agencies supposed to protect my rights – they do the opposite.




While working for ACC in 2000 I also attended a meeting by Garry Wilson (CEO at the time), all staff at head office were ordered to attend in work time.  It was held at the theatre in the National Library, I recall thinking at the time how what I was watching would be important in the future but I didn’t know why.  Mr Wilson started to praise a group of around five senior managers for reaching their objectives and getting rid of a large proportion of ‘the tail’.  I remember thinking yeah but what have you done to people in order for this to happen.  At the time I did not need ACC care so thought nothing more of it.  What I now recognise it as brainwashing and psychological manipulation of people.  By praising and rewarding the behaviour of these senior managers they in turn put pressure on the next level of management who in turn did whatever was necessary, irrelevant of the law and morality to stop people getting the health care they were entitled to under ACC, health, disability, code of rights, human rights and bill of rights laws.  Any thorough investigation of how ACC implemented processes to complicate and confuse claimants over the past 25 years, in order to achieve their objective of saving money, would expose this corruption.


There has been some publicity around Bronwyn Pullars case against ACC, she was subjected to dozens of assessments – which is how they psychologically torture you.  What ACC are looking for in these repeated and traumatising assessments is a health professional who will say the person does not need health care.  Once they have found that person they use them as much as they can.  It has also been news that ACC manipulate health providers and do not use those who ‘cost’ them to much.  Health providers lose contracts when they represent their clients, I believe this is what happened in relation to my contact with Adapt Therapy and their refusal to take me back on as a client after I won the first ACC review.  I made a complaint about their refusal and another Occupational therapist who abused and refused to organise the reinstatement of my care.  My complaints were ignored and there was no investigation.  None of the contractors are going to speak out against ACC and lose their jobs or businesses – again the threat of unemployment is used to control the population and establish neo-liberalism.


Assessments are a form of psychological torture for me and I have developed an extreme phobia of the process and health professionals as a result – this manifests in serious communication issues.  Communication issues that are supposed to be accommodated under ACC, code of rights and disability laws but are not.


On my 11 year journey I have met a handful of health providers that were intelligent and professional.  After seven years of fighting for my rights to professional rehabilitation, in 2009 I was finally given the beginnings of a rehabilitation plan (I have done study in the area of Occupational Therapy).  I had managed through help from the Human Rights Commission (the only time they have ever helped me) to get access to Dr Alan Doris psychiatrist (Nelson), what an amazing, ‘normal’ professional man.  Please refer to the two reports he has done for ACC – that they have now rejected………………….  The story I am about to tell you………………………when I think about what they did to me, giving me all that care I was entitled to then National (John Judge) got in and a 2 ½ year programme was stopped at six months.


The care I was getting was, Alan Doris a lead health professional, psychologist Christine Ridding (turned out to be a compliant idiot) 1 hr a week, Occupation Therapist Glenda van der ven Long (Adapt Therapy) an amazing woman and highly professional 2 hrs a week, Donna ? mental health support worker 3 hours a week, 7 hours a week membership of a local gym (to help with reintegration into the community, dealing with stress and my eating disorder) the guys there were amazing and I can get sworn statements about the levels of my dysfunction and the changes they saw in me in those six months.  Also I had a monthly massage paid for by WINZ and organised through my Occupational Therapist.  I asked for massage after the physical exertion at the gym I was becoming unbalanced with anger and needed a calming touch.  The massage therapist I found was also a Buddhist which made the therapy much more meaningful, also he was a good man, and the safe touch of a good man is something everyone abused by a male needs.


When ACC decided to stop my care after six months I was devastated and horrified they could do it.  How they did it was firstly they did not consult Alan Doris, they went against the advice of Glenda van der ven Long, against the advice of my GP, the psychologist didn’t think it was a good idea but believed there was nothing she could do against the authority of ACC, the mental health worker and gym instructors were all against it but were ignored.  Glenda even contacted the minister for ACC at the time (not sure who) and tried to get my care reinstated to no avail.


I won’t go into to much detail as I have started ticking violently the stress of what happened is so bad.  Needless to say Peter Jansen a corrupt GP employed by ACC who has no qualifications in the area of mental health was the individual to stop my care.  Apparently ACC had used an old report by Anne Walsh that said I had a personality disorder and my family were somehow to blame for my dysfunction after being raped.  It was like being thrown out of a six story building and I became well known to police due to the suicidal behaviour that followed.  Behaviour out of my control but considered by some police, ACC and public mental health services to be attention seeking and there was no chance I was ever going to kill myself.




ACC illegally dumped me, caused me huge psychological trauma and undermining all the work my health professionals and I had put in – not to mention the money ACC had paid – all for what?  So cruel immoral corrupt neo-liberals in Parliament and government could cut ACC costs, with no consideration for the costs of welfare payments, accessing social and free health services and police involvement etc.  And not counting the social costs to myself, my children, friends, family and community.


When I was receiving the professional rehab plan in 2009 I asked my Occupational Therapist and ACC several times to see Alan Doris as I wanted to discuss six weeks inpatient care to deal with the ‘suicidal’ aspects of my disorder – away from the responsibility of running a home and caring for children – I was refused.


I discovered when assessed by Alan after winning the first review that he had waited for ACC to contact him about my care as he believed I was his patient but they never did so he didn’t inquire.  I had also believed he was my psychiatrist after our first meeting/assessment and the implementation of my first professional rehabilitation plan but didn’t have his details to contact him directly – and I probably thought I couldn’t.


Once you are rejected by ACC and lose care that you so desperately need you are severely traumatised.  This fear often comes from experiences of the sexual or physical abuse you have suffered.  In my case the fact that the rapist was found not-guilty, even though he admitted to the jury I was asleep when he started raping me, saw me adopt dysfunctional ways of coping.  For example: one of my greatest barriers to work is I can’t do an interview, my subconscious believes that I am being judged and will be rejected so does everything to protect me from the possibility of this.  One of the things Glenda and I had just started working on (it takes months for an abuse victim to trust people) before I was dumped was doing roll-playing of a job interview so I could overcome this debilitating fear.  She also helped with opening challenging mail, while Donna helped with running the household and establishing routines that I was unable to do while traumatised and isolated.


From my research I conclude that when man was evolving and for example an animal attacked the group, caused death and trauma, the way people recovered was by co-operation and mirroring traditional behaviour.  In a group some would be stronger than others and restore routines of eating, cleaning etc, those more devastated by the trauma would watch them and start to mirror what they were seeing.  Perhaps those who were good at the start melted down later but by this time those who were dysfunctional at the start had recovered sufficient to take over.  I have many other theories around this but I don’t believe those I am writing to would understand and be as interested in social anthropology as I am.


One thing I forgot to mention with Complex PTSD, which is probably the most important, is it creates a very heightened fight, flight and freeze response.  Basic instinct behaviour when you are severely traumatised and working from your amygdala.  Behaviour I have absolutely no ability to control – nobody does.  When I try to explain what it is like I give the example of the part of the brain you use when you swerve without thinking to avoid a car accident.  So in times of trauma for a person with Complex PTSD it includes fighting – even if it is innocent people, flight – running away and avoidance, and freeze – when you are so freaked out you just cannot move.




Have started having a panic attack and want to self-harm, can’t stop ticking, have stuffed my face with a sandwich trying to put it all in my mouth at once, the suicidal thoughts are becoming intrusive, I visualise myself drinking a bottle of bourbon (and I don’t even like alcohol) I need to be numb – I have to stop.


Please help me, please hear me, please don’t call the police to come to threaten me to shut up or I will be arrested and stripped naked, please stop what they are doing to me and thousands of other sexually abused and traumatised people.


Yours sincerely








Attached for your information are the dictionary definitions of a lot of words I have come to know the true meaning of.   Please note I am unable to proof read this letter so there may be spelling or grammatical errors, these are not a sign of limited intelligence or deceit.




Oxford dictionary definitions that describe human rights violations being perpetrated by the NZ government against disabled abused people on welfare.


Authoritarian = favouring or enforcing strict obedience to authority at the expense of personal freedom (tick)


Bully = a person who deliberately intimidates or persecutes those who are weaker (tick)


Corrupt = 1. Willing to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain (tick) – evil or morally depraved (tick) – debase by making errors (tick)


Cruelty = cruel behaviour or attitudes (tick) law – behaviour which causes physical or mental harm to another, whether intentional or not (tick)


Debase = 1. Lower the quality, value or character of (tick)


Degrade = 1. Cause to suffer a severe loss of dignity or respect (tick) demean (tick) lower the character or quality of (tick)


Degrading = causing a loss of self-respect (tick) humiliating (tick)


Depraved = morally corrupt (tick)


Discriminate = 2. Make an unjust distinction in the treatment of different categories of people (tick), especially on the grounds of culture (tick), disability (tick) or age (tick)


Ill-treatment = act cruelly towards (tick)


Intimidate = frighten or overawe (tick)


Oppress = 1. Keep in subjection and hardship (tick) 2. Cause to feel distressed or anxious (tick)


Oppressive = 1. Harsh and authoritarian (tick) 2. Weighing heavily on the mind or spirits (tick)


Retribution = punishment inflicted in the spirit of moral outrage or personal vengeance (tick)


Persecute = 1. Subject to prolonged hostility and ill-treatment (tick) 2. Persistently harass or annoy (tick)


Subjection = 1. Cause or force to undergo (tick) 2. Bring under one’s control or jurisdiction, typically by force (tick)


Torment = severe physical or mental suffering (tick) – a cause of torment (tick) 1. Subject to torment (tick) 2. Annoy or tease unkindly (tick)


orture = 1. The action or practice of inflicting severe pain as a punishment or a forcible means of persuasion (tick) 2. Great suffering or anxiety (tick) – subject to torture (tick)


Torturous = characterized by pain or suffering (tick)


I’m covered in ticks – are you?



Appeal to the judiciary, politicians and United Nations for justice & freedom from persecution

1 September 2013


Dear Sir/Madam,




I wake every single morning

With these thoughts inside my head

How could people be so wicked

Why would they want me dead?


This is the first verse in one of my many poems and the reason you are now receiving this first letter.  After 11 years begging for a lawyer, justice and the health care I knew I was entitled to by law I know this person will never come unless this injustice is stopped.  After 11 years of begging and trying to use the current justice process to get the treatment care rehabilitation and protection I know I am entitled to under ACC, health, disability, human rights and bill of rights laws, I know it does not work.  After 11 years of knowing I can’t represent myself because of the extremely traumatising nature of the legal process and the severe communication impairments I have with regard to my disorder, I know I will never be able to present it to you in the exact form you require.  Therefore I am going to write every morning and send it to the following people:



Chief Justice Sian Elias

Secretary for Justice

President NZ Law Society

President Law Commission

Health & Disability Commission

Human Rights Commission



National party – John Key

Labour party – David Cunliffe

Green Party – Russell Norman

NZ First – Winston Peters

Act Party – ?

United Future – Peter Dunne

Mana Party – Hone Harawira

Maori Party – Tariana Turiea

TV Media, TVNZ news

Radio Media, RNZ News

Internet media, stuff

Newspaper media, The Press

United Nations Office for Human Rights



As a result there will be repetition and the topics I cover may vary from one paragraph to another or become highly emotional  – this is a result of my Complex PTSD disorder and not a reflection of my intelligence or honesty!  I am not delusional or mentally ill, I have a mental injury – I am a normal person with an extremely serious and life-threatening stress disorder as a result of overwhelming trauma (rape & not guilty verdict) and ongoing neglect and abuse by the authorities, my family and  community.


There will be examples of what is happening to people and analysis of why, after 11 years of educating myself and trying every avenue I knew about or was capable of, these letters are my desperate plea for justice for all mentally injured and ill people in New Zealand.  Those 10% of us rotting in degrading hell of poverty and resentment at the bottom of the neo-liberal heap.


The documentary Inside NZ Mind The Gap along with my severely painful stress disorder and having my daughter’s exboyfriend (who I genuinely care about & lived with us for a while) smashing up my house and trying to hang himself in the garage over the past few weeks, has inspired me to yet again gather myself and attempt to get justice.


Other references essential to understanding are:

ACC, health, disability, code of rights, human rights and bill of rights laws

Criminal law – particularly Section 157 of the Crimes Act

Auditor-general and electoral law

International agreements on human rights, civil and political rights, rights of protesters

The Bible – given our justice system & culture holds it in high regard

Medical and scientific information on the treatment of traumatised people & Complex PTSD


Then there is my internet presence and accumulated knowledge/information and comments over the past 11 years (this is an older website I used)


I call myself JR Murphy as an artist to protect myself from abuse as much as possible.  The truth I talk about often causes violent and abusive reactions from people (bigots) who don’t have the education/understanding I do.  These websites include information, solutions and a record of my protests – attempts to get justice and expression of the extreme emotional pain and disappointment I feel – photos, videos, art, poetry, diary notes, etc.


I am a lay-expert in the field of stress disorders and human rights as I have spent 11 years studying and trying to understand my own behaviour and why the health and justice systems were so abusive.  Because this has been an area of personal study it covers a far wider range of topics than any university degree.  I realised I was an expert during the 10th Bi-annual conference on child abuse in Wellington (about 2005 I think), attending workshops with a varied group of psychiatrists and people working in the ABUSE INDUSTRY it was obvious I knew exactly what they were talking about.  (I had been left $10,000 by my ex-father-in-law and spent most of I trying to get health care and justice.)  I also attended a series of lectures on the constitution and public police earlier this year, run by Victoria University – I knew 90% of what their ‘experts’ were saying as well – of course I knew a lot more than them from person experience, as a victim of neo-liberalism.


I have also spent a year at Massey University studying health and rehabilitation and although I only passed one paper I learnt a huge amount of scientific information.  Often I would get more books out than required on this topic and read every relevant book in the university library – in an attempt to understand and get the professional health care I knew me and thousands of other traumatised/abused people in New Zealand were entitled to.  I only passed one out of three of my papers due to my stress disorder affecting my ability to recall information during an exam.  When at university in 2001 studying law, prior to the rape, I passed all five papers.


I find it ironic I was never able to continue with my law studies because of my disorder yet have spent the past 11 years studying and using the law in every way I was capable of.  I had come to the law after winning cases in the environment court and employment court (as an employer), when I realised I had a passion and talent for law.  I consider myself a person who likes to know the rules then push the boundaries – unlike 25 years of neo-liberal governments who ignore the rules and cross the boundaries.


More recently my determination to get justice has seen me resort to civil disobedience and I have been arrested and trespassed many times now from those places I know are responsible for protecting me and providing me care.


NOTE:  As required under the Privacy Act 1993 – this letter gives authority for the Chief Justice, Secretary for Justice, Law Society, Law  Commission, Health and Disability Commission, Auditor-General, Human Rights Commission and Office and Ombudsman to access ANY information held about me by police, ACC, mental health, private health and welfare providers and individuals (eg GP, psychiatrist, Occupation therapist, etc), parliament’s speaker (regarding my illegal trespass), any member of Parliament present and past and all justice agencies (including Health & Disability Commission, Auditor-general, Human Rights Commission, Ombudsman, Law Society & Commission, Ministry of Justice etc).  Access to my HDC advocate files (Louise Grant, Nationwide Health & Disability Services in Hawkes Bay).


NOTE: I detest the privacy act and how it is used to oppress, censor and isolate vulnerable and disabled people.


I would also point out (which the police seem unable to fathom) that the health agencies ACC HDC and some others are criminally negligent and may provide information that is inaccurate, incomplete and fraudulent – which is the reason my case needs to be considered by the judiciary (which I have never been able to access – this of course violates the Magna Carta).


I need this first letter to be sent today as life is hard, especially financially as I had to evict my daughters suicidal violent ex-boyfriend and therefore have $120 less per week with (less food of $50).  I have to find another means of income but my stress disorder is debilitating/life-threatening and I am unfit for work.  I want to try and get a flatmate but am scared of people knowing my situation and having to put my personal details out in public.  Who wants to live with a nutter (I am ridiculed and degraded in my community – called Crazy Jayne).  That is only by people who don’t know me and how hard I fight to get abused men women and children like myself the health care, support and justice they are entitled to under the law.


Care and justice they are currently denied under cruel immoral and corrupt neo-liberal practices that violate our laws (eg ACC, health, welfare, disability, code of rights, human rights, bill of rights, electoral, auditor-general, etc).  Back to the most important part of my letter protection from persecution by police and mental health services.


I am writing this letter to explain my fear of persecution by mental health services and police, to ask for your protection from the government and the legislature.  As I have never been able to get my injustice in front of the judiciary due to my disability and poverty I can think of no other way to protect myself during the protests I intend to imbark on.  Which I do not intend to cease until something is done about the gross miscarriage of justice I am experiencing and witnessing with the influence of cruel immoral abusive neo-liberalism in our health, welfare and justice system.  Caused by a complete failure of New Zealand’s constitutional (civil, political and human rights), criminal, health and welfare laws to protect us.


Current I have several trespass notices served on me by police and I have been arrested around 7-8 times – I have never retaliated at any time, only tried to escape or could not move due to fear or dogged determination to exercise the rights I knew I was entitled to.


Trespassed from Anne Walsh a mentally disturbed psychiatrist (google her) who wrote a very unprofessional unsubstantiated report on me to ACC – she is one of ACCs ‘controlled’ assessors.  I wrote her a letter about how I felt about her rejection and how suicidal and seriously ill I was – I was sent the trespass in the mail, I was degraded and appauled at receiving it.


Trespassed from King Street Artworks in Masterton for being angry and upset about having my political work censored from exhibition in the Annual Show at Aratoi Museum of Art and History.  I had been allowed to exhibit up until that year when huge cuts in funding were being announced (thanks again to neo-liberalism).  King Street artworks director Ian Chapman said in a meeting of artists that the DHB had threatened they would lose their funding if I was allowed to exhibit my political work that talked about how unwell I was and how bad mental health services were.


I was devastated they were my only family, when I was served the notice at my back door in East Street Greytown my knees buckled from under me and I wailed so loud my neighbour came over.  She can confirm this incident.  King Street artists were my only family, staff were bigoted, unkind and self-serving which I stood up to – they don’t like that in mental health/social/welfare services.  The story of my dealings with King Street could fill a book and this not the place to go into this detail – needless to say it is an injustice that needs resolution.


Trespassed from Parliament, this indignity and insult has been one of my most disappointing and hardest injustices to bear – as my complete melt-down stress reaction at the doors of parliament proves.  I have requested a copy of the CCTV footage of this incident but been refused – I am sure you would be able to get hold of this.  I was trespassed from Parliament for standing in silence during the opening prayer (which I had done three times previously without challenge, is not in the rules you can’t do & had the agreement of a security guard – which again you will have to find out who this is as a witness).   An older guard came over and started making a scene while Lockwood Smith was walking onto the house, I refused to move and said very little – I prayed with all my heart.  I got a copy of the prayer from Parliamentary services:


Almighty God, humbly acknowledging our need for Thy guidance in all things, and laying aside all private and personal interests, we beseech Thee to grant that we may conduct the affairs of this House and of our country to the glory of Thy holy name, the maintenance of true religion and justice, the honour of the Queen and the public welfare, peace and tranquillity of New Zealand, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.




Reading this prayer and not applying its principles (note I have written to the governor general about the injustices I experience – I was ignored) is another form of propaganda.  People who sit in the gallery who are affluent and successful believe this is what these politicians are doing.  People like me who sit in the gallery cry and know this is a lie and what we are doing to the poorest and most vulnerable 10% of citizens is cruel immoral and corrupt.


After the prayer was read I sat down and ‘the Bond Bitch’ (excuse my language but this is how we speak in my culture) a good looking blond woman who works in parliamentary security, sat beside me.


At this point I would say I had taken to attending question time regularly to try and find out why what the National government (and other politicians) were saying was completely opposite to what I was experiencing.  I have several diaries full of detailed notes and a few comments on the internet about my visits and what I learnt (these are available).  I often got details of ministers to write to about different issues and information I needed so I could protest on a more formal level as well as activism.


There is an audio recording of Dave the security guard telling me on the phone I was trespassed for causing a scene in the gallery and singing as I walked up the stairs to the gallery, both violations of my rights to expression and expression of my religious, cultural and ethical beliefs.


On the day I was trespassed they were talking about ACC and I was quietly crying and did also raise my hand when I heard someone lie (but put it down when asked).  I saw Bill English gloat about how National had balanced the books in ACC when Labour couldn’t – I cried quietly as I know thousands of people lost rehabilitation services, especially sexual and violent abuse victims.  There are copies of this day on the internet, I would have to look back through my notes to find the date references (please request if you would like them) I spent some time in the Parliamentary library looking at these videos (there would be record of my visit in Parliamentary records).


I have tried repeatedly through formal human rights channels to get this violation of my right to expression of my religion and subsequent persecution by police dealt with to no avail – they refuse to take me seriously.


After I was taken away by police I continued to return in the following weeks, as I knew my rights, I have diary notes available for these visits and the ‘guerrilla protest missions’ I did while in Welington.  Chalking the footpaths around Parliament and outside different govt/public authorities and courts, a full album of photographs from my more recent protests is available with several photos on my internet pages (especially facebook).


I take my religion very seriously, it is the only thing that has kept me alive through the most horrendous suicidal, self-harming and depressive times of this neo-liberal hell.  It is what motivates me to protest in the streets no matter how scared I am, it motivates me to keep fighting for my rights to appropriate and professional health care for me and other people (especially abused children, like my daughter’s ex-boyfriend).


On one visit back to Parliament where I was sure I would be arrested , was protesting and telling them to arrest me – the police arrived a really nice policeman came up to me and said. Jayne we are not going to arrest you as we believe you have rights under the Bill of Rights to be here – I cried.  I had been ready to be arrested.  I thanked him, they left.


The following week I returned to sing, recite poetry and express my views on how we treat abused and mentally ill people.  Not expecting to be challenged by police when half an hour after I got there the police arrived and demanded I leave.  There was no way, I knew my rights, the policeman last week had told me.  They said things had changed, I became defensive and refused, the policeman and woman started to get out the handcuffs, I panicked (as I had been assaulted by two young policemen during the world cup outside ACC and they had put the handcuffs on very tight and hurt me and I flashbacked to that).  I backed away into the bottom of the Seddon Statue with my hands tightly against my chest refusing to leave, the police and a security guard tried to prize my arms away – I had the bruises on my arms for two weeks.  I have photos of this abuse – the bruises on my soul for eternity. L


I was arrested and charged and kept in for the night, I have never spent a night in jail, I am 48 (I didn’t think I could write this today as the memory so painful yet empowering at the same time).  I overheard the police discussing if I was to be let go or not and they said someone from high up had ordered it – I have been unable through privacy act requests to find out this information.  However as a result of my phobia about opening mail there are dozens of letters that could be an answer to this information (a very debilitating communication aspect of my disorder that ACC health services and others take advantage of and refuse to cater to – which they are required to do under disability and code of rights laws.)


This is a very painful piece to recall ………………..  An officer phoned my two children, then 15 and 16 and said I wouldn’t be home – I was horrified.  My teenagers a good kids but they have friends and boyfriends who take advantage of parents not being home.  My car was left on the street outside Parliament I was freaking out about the fines.  I was so grateful when I discovered the council had ticketed me but there had been no fine as someone had seen me be violently arrested by police the day before – and I am well known by the council because of my chalking.


Being processed was traumatising, having other people in control of you is traumatising when you have been abused, so are closed spaces and isolation – especially with nothing to do (they refused to leave me a pen and my visual diary even though I begged them, I use it to keep me calm and sane I told them that).  They offered me magazines to which I replied. “To look at all the things I can’t have no thanks.”


When I was arrested I was asked if I wanted a minister and I said yes as all my protests are based on my religious principles (which is what the law is based on – justice and protection of the weak).  I was regularly attending the Mormon Church in Featherston at the time which they will confirm.  I feel most at ease with a Christian minister, the minister never came.  I don’t know how long I was in the cell, time is weird in there – there are no clocks, I tried to sleep as my mental health was really bad and trying not to freak out at all the new experiences, incarceration and traumas.  They told me nobody had ever said yes to a minister before so they didn’t have anyone organised and it was the middle of the night (which I didn’t know, I thought I had dozed but obviously I had slept for a couple of hours).


I asked for a bible, it took ages for one to be found – I really needed a St James bible which are very common but they found a Giddeon one which was of some comfort.  I have a bladder weakness and wear a pad, I asked a senior male police officer (by spelling out in toilet paper on the floor to get their attention) to speak to a female.  He refused until he knew what it was about.  I was humiliated that I had to tell him that I smelt bad and needed to change the pad, it was making me cry and become traumatised in the cell.  I eventually got my request filled and felt a little better.


I repeated over and over this was a violation of my human rights, why I was protesting and exactly what I thought of some of the police officers that weren’t nice – most of them are ok.  I am always respectful of the police, except for the 4 or 5 out of dozens who have set off the abusive side of my stress disorder.  I have a wicked mouth (I seldom swear) but I have never physically threatened anybody and never will, I would only protect myself.  I sang and recited poetry in the cells, tried to occupy my extremely stressed brain, did drumming exercises – when you suffer from suicidality it is imperative you keep busy – nothing to do is bad (I am reminded of the phrase, idle hands are the devils playground).


It would be easier for you to access any CCTV footage of my arrest and proof of what I am saying.


I told them I had a disability, I was ticking (I click my fingers) put my hands over my ears and other involuntary movements.  The drumming rhythms I know help with this anxiety response.  The police phoned mental health in Masterton who I refused to speak to because they are one of my worst abusers/oppressors.  I asked for Wellington mental health to come, the police said they refused, there would be documentation of this I am sure on the police file.  I asked for a doctor, the police refused saying it was too late at night.  I had a couple of periods during my incarceration where I became extremely stressed.


That night I was given a very hot microwaved meal, I was so stressed I used it self-harm and burnt myself on the forearm (I have a photograph of the burn that looked like a heart if you want it).  Physical pain somehow relieves the emotional pain – don’t understand it because I have never been able to see a health professional about it, it mostly started after ACC illegally removed my care in 2009.


After a poor nights sleep, I was humiliated going to the toilet and covered myself as best I could.  The morning seemed forever, I couldn’t eat, at one point before the van arrived I started to cry, to sob uncontrollably about what was happening, this lasted about 20 minutes.  I had cried a few times overnight as well.  It lets off some of the stress as well.  The police tried to be nice to me, they were ashamed of what was happening to me.


I was told I was being taken to court in the van.  I had heard two black power guys and their victim had come in overnight and we were heading for court in the same van.  You hear everything when they are being processed – don’t see how that isn’t a violation of privacy laws.


I asked for my hairclips back to put my hear up before seeing the judge, it was a mess, they refused, I felt ashamed of the way I looked.  When I saw the metal box in the van I was supposed to get into I freaked out and backed away immediately saying there was no way I was getting in it.  Three policemen came closer, they were going to put me in the van by force if I didn’t do it voluntarily, I did my best to control by anxiety and yelled at them to give me some time.  It is the most revolting feeling to have to get in that little box behind the driver then have a van door over the top of that.  I cried all the way to court – I would much have preferred to be taken to court in a car to accommodate my disorder and avoid this trauma.  Or been put in the back with the gang members, they could see me crying from where they were and tried to comfort me a little while in the van.  The policemen were as nice as they could be but they knew I was freaking out.


I can’t talk any more about this event…….


My protests include singing, playing guitar, reciting poetry and giving them hell – using language that is used when you are really angry in my culture but I try not to swear as much as possible.  (My book of poetry has swearing in it, it is art).


Trespassed from Independent Police Conduct Authority in Wellington by police.  There is an audio available of my occupation protest there earlier this year, please contact me with an email address so I can send it to you, it is also on the internet, utube account.  I have made repeated complaints of degradation, bullying and discrimination they are always passed back to the people I am complaining about (sometimes the abusers which is very difficult) and nothing is done.  The harassment continues unabated.


Trespassed from Health and Disability Commission Wellington earlier this year by police, there is a video of this on my utube channel.  I have experienced years of rejection and discrimination by this organisation which I find so disappointing when they are supposed to protect me from incompetence in the health system.  I believe them to be criminally negligent.


Trespassed from Law Society in Wellington, on a particularly bad day during the latest welfare reforms (which I was extremely frightened about for good reason) I went to protest outside Bowen House on Lambton Quay.  I did get really angry and was almost arrested there as I angrily challenged all the well dressed people walking in the building.  Katrina Shanks MP intervened as she knew I had tried through her to get health care from mental health and was recently rejected yet again – she knew I had a disability (I can show you all the email correspondence with her office if you want to see it).  There would be CCTV footage available (a security guard told me once they all really support what I protest about but they have jobs to do.


I walked off to get some paper to write a sign, Geoffry Palmer was walking towards me, I said his name and asked him how someone got a lawyer in this country and a few other things.  He told me it was the responsibility of the Law Society, so I immediately decided to head there and refused to leave until I was promised a human rights lawyer or arrested – which I did.  I have tried to enlist the help of Chen Palmer law and Geoffry Palmer several times in the past but been rejected (no money).  I have also spoken to Andrew Palmer who I know is involved in the law, we ended up in an argument – wealthy affluent people refuse to accept what is happening to people like me.


That was 9 weeks ago and because they didn’t have time for my case then my lawyer had a family bereavement the defended hearing has been delayed another two months.  Another reason I choose to get arrested is so I can put my plight to a judge – although I have tried this before after the Parliament arrest saga & was thrown out of court by security.  I am trying yet again.  I am currently out on bail – me – I’m not the criminal here, cruel neo-liberals within ACC, mental health and the police are.  I will elaborate further on these specific issues in another letter.


NOTE: I have made formal complaints to police about ACC and mental health under Section 157 of the Crimes Act, I am discredited and ignored.  I have letters to prove it and Inspector Register from Masterton police has details of his investigation into my claims – then rejection of them without any chance for me to defend myself and have the human rights/bill of rights act applied.


Threatened with trespass from Masterton Hospital grounds.  Mental health services in the Wairarapa are appauling and abusive.  We have some of the worst suicide statistics in New Zealand.


NOTE:  Nigel Latter has said publicly (he is a government adviser) that neglect is just as psychologically damaging as physical abuse.  So when I say abuse in these letters it will often refer to the neglect and rejection you experience when you are very unwell, including highly suicidal, self-harming, and much more.  Please refer to the disorder Complex PTSD (Bessell van der Kolk is a leading authority) – it has been given a slightly different name recently to describe the numbers of American soldiers who have it (who are killing themselves at one a day from last news reports).  I am well connected to social media and always interested and investigating information associated with stress disorders, violence and suicide.


It is a shame Judge McLean doesn’t have the same information and education, then maybe he would stop putting out completely useless press statements.  I have written to Judge McLean in the past about this gross miscarriage of justice, I cannot recall his exact response – I only know it was rejection.  If you require our communications please advise and I will search for it if I can.


I went to Masterton hospital to sing and recite poetry after being yet again rejected degraded and abused by mental health services (Wairarapa is a small town and I have been ostracized in the arts community because of influence from people in mental health services.)  I was also abused and discredited by their complaints person Gillian Moulton (ask them for all the correspondence I have sent).  I phone many people in desperation when my eating disorder, self-harming and suicidal behaviour gets really bad.  I had phoned the CEO of the Masterton hospital (I can’t recall her name) told her my story and begged her for help – she promised me this would happen – it didn’t.  I just felt more persecuted by mental health services.


While I was singing Knockn on Hell’s door outside the DHB offices (please refer to The Black Book of Poetry on my website the CEO came down to complain about the noise.  She didn’t realise I was the woman she promised care to, she was extremely aggressive and immediately threatened me with the police and being trespassed.  I tried to defend myself, she stormed back inside and called the CAT team – a young attractive woman turned up, stood very threateningly in my personal space and refuse to back away.  We argued and she went away – I left shaking.  What if I had needed to go to the hospital for an emergency or an emergency for my children – at that time I was extremely frightened of the police as they had stripped me naked for my chalking protest.  I’m a lot stronger now and have managed to avoid being stripped and committed – which some of my friends think is amazing luck, after what they experienced.


Trespassed from ACC most recently by The Sheriff a very degrading and cruel policeman working at Wellington Central.  I am making a formal complaint about him.  I have found in my dealings with police 20% of police are really awesome people, 20% are abusive power trippers and 60% do what they are told so pretty average.  When I had to go to court recently 28 August for the defended hearing (they didn’t end up having time for) I did some protesting.  I ended up at ACC, chalked in front of the building about them being murderers, sung, recited poetry, talked to nice people on the street and yelled at people walking in and out of the building about how responsible they were for the suicide and suffering of thousands of abuse victims at the hands of ACC and justice services.  They called the police and The Sheriff arrived (we have had runins before because I have no respect for abusive authority and know my rights, he has degraded and threatened me with having my clothes removed before).


He immediately stood in my person space in a threatening way, my head was lowered and my body started to shake – having a man who is threatening you that close is extremely traumatising for a sexual abuse victim (for any woman) it is disrespectful.  I asked him to move away as he was frightening me, he refused and said he would be getting much closer if I didn’t stop my protests immediately and leave.  I know my rights, I don’t believe I had behaved in an inappropriate manner – I am really really angry and this is a matter of life and death for thousands of people (over 500 people a year suicide & large numbers of homocides are related to neglected mentally injured and ill people).  Also I don’t get to yell at the exact people who are persecuting me, so I yell at anybody I think could be them.  Like the people nutting off at the EQC office in Chch, it is actually linked to the stress disorder but I am not sure how.


He was so abusive I got out my mobile phone and recorded him for the next 7 minutes (this is available however I am having problems downloading the audio), then left because I had to get back to court to see if they could hear my case and it wouldn’t have been good if I didn’t turn up.  Plus he had become agitated and would have violently arrested me which is extremely frightening at the time.


He told me he was going into ACC and demanding they trespass me, a copy of which I received in the mail (one of the very few pieces of mail I have been able to open in a long time) and they wonder why I have a phobia about opening mail.  After I beat a hasty retreat from The Sheriff I ended up walking past the Appeal Court on the corner of Aitken Street, the words on the windows around the building disgust me – hypocrisy and propaganda at its absolute worst.  I videoed myself upset and talking about what had just happened, discussing some of the words on the building and how they were lies.  But because they are on the building the average person walking past thinks they are the truth and New Zealand actually lives up to these laws and ideals – YEAH RIGHT.  This video is available and I hope to post to Utube in the near future.  Just more propaganda put out by the neo-liberal right purposely persecuting and degrading the poorest and most vulnerable bottom 10% of New Zealand citizens.


At 2.15 we were told they had run out of time to hear my case – I had spent $35 to get from my home to Wellington on the train – I only get $470 a week and my rent is $250.  It is interesting that the government has passed a law that if people don’t turn up for court (even if they can’t afford to) then they will lose their benefits – this is an example of the neo-liberal hell I live.  Part of the neo-liberal propaganda machine to degrade the poor and incite resentment in the rich and middle classes.  Of course I shouldn’t even be in court because my loud but peaceful protest at the Law Society was extremely valid and using the police to censor and oppress the horrifying truth I was saying is criminally negligent (according to Section 157 of the crimes act) and corrupt!  A legal argument that should be played out in the Supreme Court not in the Law Society office or criminal district court.


While I was waiting for court at 10am I called in at the Supreme Court, which I often do as I protest and chalk a lot around there – judges would have seen my work.  Three judges including Sian Elias (who this letter will be sent to) were discussing, in this most beautiful building, a lease between a business person and the council.  As I walked out the door it hit me that I was in the District Court fighting for my rights to protest about the gross miscarriage of justice I was experiencing and witnessing in my community, while this is happening in the Supreme Court.  It has caused me huge sadness every time I think about it.  THIS IS INJUSTICE! I love that court and go there regularly to relax after protesting, it should be where my Human Rights case should be heard!  (Note I am not sure if I saw this case on the day of my status hearing or delayed defended hearing – its irrelevant really just trying to link it up so you don’t have anything to discredit me for.)


All that money and it only sits 37 days a year – how sad.  How sad 10% of New Zealand citizens are being subjected to cruel immoral illegal corrupt neo-liberal theories infecting our ACC, mental health and justice services and they can’t go to the highest court in our land.  I have been told there are only three human rights lawyers for the whole of New Zealand that the poor can access.  I am waiting at the moment to hear back if the Office for Human Rights (there are so many different/useless human rights organisations) will accept two cases of mine and provide a lawyer free.  A case against ACC and the police – I have got to stop the constant threat of being stripped naked by police because of my mental health issues and for making passionate and angry complaints about what is happening to me.  This letter is also a request for you to order the police to not strip me of my clothes or be allowed to threaten me with it.  To accommodate as best they can my disorder so the trauma is kept to a minimum.  Things like making me stand there while someone I don’t know holds on to me for ages –when I don’t want them to – in order to get my fingerprints YET AGAIN.  Please tell them I am allowed a pen and paper when in the cell and make sure I have access to a minister, don’t let them put me in the metal box in the van again I am begging you.  Please tell them to treat me with respect and not to arrest me just because I am annoying people – there is already case law for this.  Please tell them not to come to my home if ACC, or some other justice agency or politician phones them up and says I am suicidal.  They can phone me if they want but even that I find intimidating.  Please make them take my complants seriously, only a full and thorough police investigation into ACC and mental health services would uncover the serious corruption and negligence going on here.  (I have asked for a Royal Commission of Enquiry many times on how we treat abused people.)


I had two hours to wait for my train back to the Wairarapa and I was really angry about what had happened outside ACC so I headed for Wellington Central police station.  Outside I chalked in large letters that police should stop violence towards abused women fighting for their rights to health care and justice – I have a photograph on the internet.  (I hate the white ribbon and like minds propaganda on TV it disgusts and enrages me.) A woman police officer came out, asked my story, took my details, couldn’t say much when I described what a bastard The Sheriff had been.  (Oh yeah he also threatened with getting the CAT  team onto me, because he knows how much I hate them and have an extremely bad stress reaction when I am near them – thanks to years of neglect degradation and abuse).


The threat of being committed is real, inpatient services are abusive – I know this from the dozens of people I have spoken to about it over the years.  Once you are committed under the mental health act you lose all your rights and they can legally force you to take medication.  I have made an educated and moral decision not to take psych medication for my stress disorder.  Firstly because it is against my religious, cultural and ethical principles – psych medication affects your brain – I use my spiritual strength to keep the suicidal thoughts from overwhelming/killing me.  Mental health cannot tell me how this medication will affect my ability to protect myself spiritually (from what some would call demons) from the dysfunctional and suicidal thoughts.


Secondly I have studied enough to know how dangerous these EXPERIMENTAL drugs are on normal people with severe stress disorders – they could easily drive me to suicide or make me homicidal.  There are huge amounts of information and people opposed to the use of these medications in most circumstances, all over the internet.   Again I believe the influence of neo-liberalism has seen the removal of personal care only to be replaced with drugs to keep people quiet – it was cheaper – NO IT IS NOT.  There is also the influence of drug companies and the huge profits they are returning to the rich and powerful, shareholders, health scientists and health professionals.


I feel so strongly about this I liken it to the respect the law has for Jehovah’s Witnesses not wanting to take blood products.  I do not have to accept drugs there are other ways that fit my beliefs and culture that work, such as the rehabilitation requirements spelt out in detail in the ACC and Code of Rights legislation, also the Whare Tapa Wha and Occupational Therapy models, it is the law that these beliefs are accommodated if possible.  My requests and rights are ignored due to the influence of cruel immoral corrupt neo-liberal theories.


In the coming weeks/months I intend to escalate my political protests (which I also consider art) and push the boundaries with just how dramatic and confronting I can make them.  I will be angry, loud and offensive to all neo-liberal bigots but I will never resort to violence and I will never retaliate even if I am being physically assaulted – I never have.  If I am arrested and committed I need someone to call that will stop them from drugging me into submission – I will not be silenced when abused men women and children’s lives are at stake – NEVER!


Please advise what I should do if I am committed, who should I phone – I have tried repeatedly to get a lawyer to protect me but they look at me like they are confused and refuse.  Hopefully these series of letters will make you understand just the level of persecution going on in this country.  Especially happening to someone like me who is fighting what I can prove is criminal negligence on the part of ACC and mental health.  Could you provide me with a letter saying the police cannot arrest me and they are in fact to protect my rights to protest – unless it involves violence and excessive swearing.


I have made several submissions to the constitution conversation – I have heard nothing back.  I have had several discussions about the Bill of Rights.  I attended a series of free lectures at the School of Public Policy Victoria University on public policy and the constitution.  I will go through my notes and discuss this in another letter – what I heard briefly is govt departments are advising ministers but if they don’t like what they hear they either send it back for them to re-write or just ignore their advice.  People who don’t agree with the neo-liberals are sacked or do not get advancement and more salary.  Yes I keep myself as informed as I can and participate in this democracy as much as I possibly can – no matter how they try to oppress me.


Knowledge is power and action is vital   – there is no way they are allowed to stop me acting I have rights, international rights – it is only the judiciary who can protect me and uphold them.


I have copies of the ACC, human rights, auditor-general and bill of rights laws – I believe in the law – I can’t believe I just said that.  I believe my legal right not to take medication takes precedence over their legal right to force me to (ie Constitutional rights are superior to any law) considering what I am protesting about.   Also it is well known through the developed world that activists, especially those from the left prepared to put their lives at risk for their beliefs are being labelled mentally ill and drugged into submission.  It is an issue currently in front of the United Nations – it is happening in New Zealand and nobody will do anything about it.  Please help me right this gross injustice.


When I was doing an occupy protest at the cenotaph earlier this year I had a discussion with an older law student who told me there was no way Human Rights or Bill of Rights laws in this country took precedence over any other laws.  But this is not true – how could he possibly think this – although I heard through the odd discussion at the Policy School lectures that this is a belief in the legal community.  This of course is not true at all, in a case of such an injustice my rights under Human Rights and Bill of rights take precedence over anything a corrupt government has made law.  Everything Hitler did in Germany was legal, we have Human Civil and Political rights to stop another NAZI Germany – but because nobody can use them, our country has been degraded and become immoral.


That brings me to the repeated arrests for my protests, I have a right to self-expression my art and my voice should not be censored.  I should not be blocked/censored from public internet media and politican pages for telling the truth in the blunt and truthful way I do – that is how/who I am, that is how I communicate, I can no more change it that stop this fight against the neo-liberal hell many of us now live in.  And you wonder why people hate the rich.  It promises in our National anthem that God would stop dissension envy and hate – when you have the leader of the National party John Key calling the Labour Greens coalition Evil Hell Beasts you know there is something seriously wrong.


I don’t know the bible that well, I don’t go to church every week – I have been rejected, degraded and discredited when I have tried to get support from many Christians (including my mother) so I don’t go there.  What I do know that it says in the bible it will be the governments that are corrupt not the poor, not the vulnerable.  It also says we should care for widows and orphans more than another other group in society (in the 21st century we call them single women and their children).  We are the most vicitimized and stigmatized members of society, in the latest welfare reforms we were yet again targeted to work – no matter what is happening in our lives or with our children.  Many women on welfare have been victims of abuse, have stress and anxiety disorders and cannot get the treatment care, rehabilitation, protection and justice they are entitled to under ACC, health, disability, code of rights, human rights and bill of rights laws.   I know this stuff and I fight for it – HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED – that’s me!


I am currently ostracized from my own family because I don’t work and they don’t approve of my protests – it is very sad.  So many families split and dysfunctional because of brainwashing about cruel immoral neo-liberal reforms being essential and necessary – when they are not, and never have been.  The Inside NZ Mind The Gap documentary recently pointed that out perfectly.  I was sad when the jucidiary/police didn’t come out and start prosecuting people about the gross negligence and deceit of our leaders over the past 25 years of neo-liberalism that was proven so well in the documentary.


I can’t talk anymore – oh my god I just looked – 18 pages, but I feel so much more relieved.  This isn’t my burden this is your burden, you are the leaders of this country and you cannot let this gross miscarriage of justice against abused people like myself with mental injuries and mentally illness go on.  People are dying and suffering the most unimaginable hell due to cruel immoral neo-liberalist theories.  Read my book of poetry The Black Book on my website, in some of those poems you might get the understanding of what it is like to live with being suicidal as a result of neglect and persecution.

I look forward to your urgent reply as my protests will start in a few weeks.  One of them will include a hunger strike outside parliament where I will refuse to take food or water – from my research it should take 7 days to be hospitalised.  These are the weapons of passive protest for the poor and oppressed of which I am one.  I will not stop until I get the health care, rehabilitation and protection I am entitled to by law and so does every other person in this country who is entitled to it – whether they know it yet or not.


Yours sincerely






Excerpt frm book by Bessel van der Kolk on Traumatic Stress

Over the years I have collected a lot of information, particularly when I was studying health and rehabilitation at Massey University a few years ago.

It was there I discovered Bessel van der Kolk – a leading authority on traumatic stress disorders, who described Complex PTSD and everything I had been going through emotionally, behaviourally and physically after being raped and then neglected (what thousands of people go through).

This is an excerpt from the book “Traumatic Stress: The effects of overwhelming experience on mind, body and society” van der Kolk, McFarlane,& Weisaeth, editors.  You will recognise what those revolting ignorant neo-liberal bigots in government, media and society are doing to the weakest and most vulnerable people.  Paula Bennett at the top of the list, bringing in more and more punishments for child abusers while ignoring all the evidence that traumatised abuse victims are suffering and rotting on welfare.  With Sean Plunket on the attack over talkback radio.


Reason and objectivity are not the primary determinants of society’s reactions to traumatized people.  Rather, as noted earlier, society’s reactions seem to be primarily conservative impulses in the service of maintaining the beliefs that the world is fundamentally just, that people can be in charge of their lives, and that bad things only happen to people who deserve them.

Bearers of bad tidings are generally considered dangerous; thus, societies tend to be suspicious that victims will contaminate the social fabric, undermine self-reliance, consume social resources and live off the strong.  The weak are a liability and after an initial period of compassion, are vulnerable to be singled out as parasites and carriers of social malaise.

Society can only make a commitment to victims if it accepts these two ideas: (1) that victims are not responsible for the fact that they were traumatized; and (2) that if victims are not helped to deal with the memories of their trauma, they will become violent and anxious people, unreliable and easily distracted workers, inattentive parents, and/or people who use drugs and alcohol to help them cope with unbearable feelings.


I would also point out that eating disorders, suicide, self-harming, attachment disorders, phobias and compulsions are also dysfunctional coping mechanisms used by traumatised people.










Check out the new Red Tape War Room

The Office

The Office

It is looking a bit more sorted than this, we’ve started on compiling all the clinical, scientific and legal information we need to provide for our three judicial reviews.  Lots more sorting to do, and I have to start downloading the information we have from the internet and the thousands of emails to prove our case.

This is what those scum bags ACC, mental health, justice and political people put you through – just to stop you getting the health care you are entitled to – it is fucking sick.

It is great to be finally working with someone as passionate me about how the law can force the authorities to help us and all abuse victims with stress disorders.

We will post documents on this website as they come to hand, and of course those pages already on here will be included in our judicial review.  I will be applying for a judicial review on the police decision not to investigate my complaints of harm by ACC and health authorities under Section 157 of the Crimes Act.  Along with ACCs decision not to reinstate my care from 2009, by refusing to accommodate impairments related to my disability, to provide me with a safe environment for communication and to accommodate my cultural, religious and ethical beliefs in my rehabilitation.

Michelle will apply for her own judicial review on ACC’s decision not to provide services that aren’t professional and are harmful.

It’s a daunting task, but someone’s gotta do it.


Check out over 400 protest photos I have downloaded

Havn’t finished naming them all yet but mostly taken around Wellington and some in the Wairarapa and Hutt Valley.

Wouldn’t you think with the amount of protesting I do about the appauling state of mental health services, especially for abused people, that the media would report what I was doing?  Also the human rights abuses I am having to go through at the hands of the police, ACC, mental health and justice agencies.

3rd Degree are going to be talking about sexual abuse as it relates to that pedophile teacher up north – I’m scared, this is going to trigger me over and over again.

Great to see Obama is going to investigate the mess that mental health services are in the US.  They of course wrote the book on how not to care for people.