I at another library writing this but I had to because it was really disturbing. I’m getting fibre put on at the moment and was just working out how to get my computer to see the link, so went to Carterton Library to see my emails and work out how to do it.
When I had opened my emails there were two, one was from Snr Sgt Jennifer Hansen at Masterton police demanding I organise to be arrested because I had breached my bail again. See my youtube channel for details of how distressed I have been about days of ‘media porn’/publicity around New Zealand’s worst suicide statistics ever recorded. Given I am a Civil Society Activist in the area of mental health and suicide it has been very distressing and makes me even more suicidal – which I am sure other people experience as well.
I spent a while trying to reply to her and arrange it, then suddenly the computer timed out and the whole thing stopped. This triggered me and I started crying and became upset about what is happening to me for ASKING FOR ACC CARE I AM ENTITLED TO AND DESPERATELY NEED. I went to the desk to ask what to do about restarting the computer, the woman who offered I refused, explaining her brother in law was the reason I was so distress.
Another woman came over to help me, but by the time I sat down and tried to type I was crying so much I couldn’t see anything – not sobbing, just tears flowing down my face, while I was trying to pretend they weren’t and everything was OK. Firstly this affluent woman was extremely cold and callous with absolutely no emotion whatsoever. Considering the big deal Carterton Council did with the government propaganda campaign about SUICIDE – GUMBOOT FRIDAY – WALKING IN SOMEONE’S GUMBOOTS SO YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND WHAT BEING SUICIDAL WAS LIKE.
She then proceeded to tell me I should leave to regain my composure. I told her my distress was caused by the email saying I had violated my bail conditions for my non-violent justified legal protesting about abusive mental health services and how I needed to organise urgently to be arrested again. That I would be picked up by police if they saw me – previously I have spent many weeks ‘at large’ with warrants when I refused to go to court until I got health care and lawyer I was supposed to have.
Obviously Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and the neo-liberal controlled Labour party are prepared to do worse to me to stop me speaking out about how abusive and exploitive mental health services are and how corrupted by neo-liberal believes most of our government are.
The comment about me leaving the premises to compose myself is EXACTLY THE PHRASE Masterton WINZ (welfare) office Manager Michele Eades used when telling me off/threatening me for self-harming when I was having to fill out forms there several weeks ago. I’ve never heard the words COMPOSE MYSELF before from any of them, which makes me suspicious the police or someone very corrupt has been instructing people on what to say to me (and other terrorised and terrified poor people. That would of course be a violation of my privacy – except there is no point in make a formal complaint to the Privacy Commission. The PC is only there to protect the privacy of dangerous, cruel, criminal business people and government, not the people they are persecuting.
I think what shocked me about this woman at the library was her complete lack of empathy – it was like I wasn’t even human. Definitely psychopathic behaviour. All the wealthy people in Wairarapa don’t want to see anybody being harmed by 30 years of austerity and living of fear due to mass immigration with local and central government ignoring where disabled and poor local people were going to live.
Not being allowed to show any emotion in a public building, so people weren’t made to feel uncomfortable or allowed to know just how bad the situation is for someone like me. Someone who publicly protests about abusive mental health services and government denying disabled local people safe stable affordable, culturally appropriate housing.
Affluent women who work for the government are particularly bad, it is imperative for them psychologically and to keep their happiness intact to believe women like myself don’t exist and our valid despair is a ‘mental health issues’ because we are ill. Its not me who is ill, it is the government and the community who are ill and cruel and criminals. I know this because I know the law, our most basic laws of how elected officials are required to act – which is not to advance rich business people and persecute poor people in order to exploit and degrade them.
I am typing this at Masterton Library where they have up notices threatening distressed people they will be removed – the library was the only place they had left to go and rich people don’t want them there either. Elitism is rife in the Wairarapa, I was interviewed individually by a lawyer from the mental health inquiry that came through last year. She told me the reason we are No 1 in NZ for suicide and self-harm is elitism, she asked me how I thought something could be done about it. My suggestion was making sure complaints were listened to and people were punished for breaches of professional standards and causing people harm when they didn’t do their jobs properly. No valid complaint I have ever made has been listened to or acted on – I have been ridiculed and discredited every time, while the staff get of scott free and go on to become even more degrading, insulting and abusive.
With so much support for a disabled friend in Flaxmere recently I am wondering if New Zealand’s government and rich people are trying to herd all the poor into certain areas to leave the rest of the country for them. Just like has happened in England – ewwwwww. New Zealand culture is based on egalitarian, justice and equality principles, not elitism, hate and inequality which is what neo-liberal terrorists demand!