Tag Archives: mental health

Driven to self-harm by ignorant police & community leaders

So I had a meeting on Thursday with police, the local mayor and the council social worker/ propaganda PR person.  That night my mental health was so bad I started self-harming and now I’m covered in bruises over my face.  Although I had asked to get these people together and the mayor kept telling me everything would be OK etc, IT WASN’T.  The saddest thing is I don’t even think any of them realise how insulting, degrading and bigoted what they were saying to me was.  Not all of what they said just some really bad bits – the neo-liberal bits.

Firstly I had a previous meeting with the mayor and sent him two emails with questions before the meeting on Thursday – he didn’t respond.   While in our recent meeting he keeps saying to me – You trust me and the people here don’t you.   ACTUALLY I DIDN’T TRUST ANY OF THEM, I admitted to not trusting the policeman.

I live in the region of New Zealand that has the highest self-harm rates in the OECD (developed western world).   The way those three people approached what I was telling them, my complaints about police violence, mental health staff violence, how bad my life is etc was so bad in so many ways.

Even though the mayor has said several times he would help me, the more he gets to know my situation the more he doesn’t want to know what is happening.  I text him before the meeting saying I was terrified.  During our talk he got angry with me for saying at our last meeting he implied there was going to be no state/social housing built in Wairarapa for disabled people like me.  He said he didn’t say that but he did, he used economic jargon, I even emailed him about it to get the words he had been told to use.   I follow economists, I have studied economics, I wonder if he didn’t really know what those words meant.

I’m not sure how long we were there, when suddenly he started telling me he had to go to the funeral that had been in progress next door to us since we started.   Why did he make an appointment to see me if he had another appointment and why didn’t he tell me he had to go at a certain time.  Instead he humiliated me and made me feel bad for not having finished what I was saying.

He compared me asking for his help with this situation to people who ask him for help with potholed roads and footpaths – which made me feel really bad by trivialising the seriousness of what was happening to me.  He got so uncomfortable about what I was saying, especially about police.  To start with he assured me in detail and repeatedly the police officer was an old school friend of his and trustworthy.  Then when I was leaving – after them – I saw them talking, smiling and shaking hands outside the police station.   No matter what I say it seems obvious to me the mayor is going to back his school friend to the hilt – he did in the meeting.

The police officer was very uncomfortable about the unwarranted police violence and abuse I have been subjected to over the years and how IPCA have never done anything about my valid complaints – they are abusive.  He kept saying they’re independent, they’re independent – my response was they might be but they are still corrupt, I have been violently assaulted, psychologically tortured and persecuted/not protected from crimes against me – while charged with crimes that 95% of the time have been either thrown out by a judge or dropped by police.   He kept defending the police and telling me he hadn’t done any of those things to me so I shouldn’t care they happened at all.

He told me he was a human being – I told him HE WAS NOT.  Those three people were there as mayor, police and social worker/bullshit PR person – they weren’t there as human beings.  It was their jobs – WHILE IT IS MY LIFE – if they left their jobs next week they wouldn’t give me a second thought.  I will never forget that meeting and how bad it made me feel.  They have been so brainwashed by this neo-liberal extremist garbage they don’t even know how to be NORMAL people.

One of the most upsetting things was when I said all the money I had saved up had run out 2 weeks ago the social worker immediately told me she could get me the budget services – WTF.  I’m 55 years old, I bought my kids up on welfare from the age of 37 (they were 6 & 7), I know how to fucking budget.  I can’t believe she said that – what an insult.   My rent went up $70 in 12 months and I can’t get a flatmate that isn’t abusive (having been through six I’m now phobic), my invalids benefit didn’t increase.  We have had a small increase since, but that happens every year apparently to deal with inflation – don’t know where they get their figures because the rising cost of rent and food isn’t 2-3% like media say – not for poor people like me.

So these people are demanding to see how I spend my money so they can tell me how to spend it so I can afford food.  I wonder what these revolting people who are so much more intelligent and better than me at budgeting their money would say to me exactly??   I’m sure they would make sure I didn’t have any money to go to funerals or participate in the community, or have a holiday ever, or travel anywhere outside my district, or participate in our ‘democracy’, or join clubs, or buy good shoes to cater to my bad ankle, or accommodate my bulimia (which I am sure they would say is MY CHOICE AND I DESERVE TO BE POOR BECAUSE OF IT).

More proof our community leaders are the ones who advancing the rich and business people while rejecting and persecuting disabled abused poor people who don’t have necessities of life – like safe stable affordable housing or sufficient income to live with dignity.

Wairarapa No 1 in OECD for driving children to suicide, domestic/flatmate violence, eating disorders, self-harm, compulsory treatment orders and of course homelessness.  You don’t see the homelessness here because people are driven to Wellington, where they get emergency housing.  Wealthy elites drive disabled and poor out of this region illegally and purposefully.

I wonder if any of them want to hear how to stop our region’s world leading suicide and self-harm statistics – I have the solutions.   Wouldn’t you think these people would be embarrassed by those stats and what they drive people to – but they’re not.

 

Wairarapa Police check out welfare visit by Whakatane police tonight!!!!

My own fkn bitch of a sister and brother I never see not only phone my daughter and upset her with my facebook posts – they send the fkn Whakatane police around to terrorise me – don’t phone me themselves – THEY SEND THE FKN POLICE.  I’m sure you bigots in Masterton police will be loving it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   That’s what you want isn’t it, for my family to turn against me and get me locked up and drugged up aye!!!!!

My family not allowed to friend me on fb, not that they have ever tried, they like to stay well away from worthless garbage like me – all National party supporters do!   I’ve blocked them from looking now – fkn bitch!!!!!  My family all fb friends with each other – I don’t go under my real name because my mother told me she didn’t want the family name involved in what I do.  My fkn bitch of a sister doesn’t like it I am with my mum at the moment, so the psycho cow will do anything to cause shit – ANYTHING!!!!  That bitch hates me and always has!

Cause what police doing to me in order to oppress me, psychologically torture me, keep me poor and stop me from getting ACC care I am entitled to under law makes me terrified of all police, all uniforms and all police cars  and MAKES ME UNWELL in social situations.   You know it and you love it don’t you  Const Selena ??? and Sgt Matt Wailling.   The NICE police officer I met tonight was upset by what I told him what you were all doing to me for LEGALLY AND NON-VIOLENTLY PROTESTING ABOUT BEING DENIED HEALTH CARE.  Where I target those in power doing the harm and get triggered by ignorant bigots in the community!!!!

You know – those people I make complaints about of criminal negligence under Sections 150A and 151 of the Crimes Act.  THE LAW – but neo-liberal murderers don’t follow RULE OF LAW or democracy – DO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My fkn bitch of a sister I HAVE BARELY TALKED TO FOR YEARS, at Xmas she started an argument day before my birthday, just so her and the kids didn’t have to come to my birthday dinner.  Her daughter and son – who I get on with very well – didn’t know what to do.  I went out with my mum, aunty and a friend, while her, her husband and the kids stayed home.  It was very upsetting.   That just a long line in revolting bitchy things she has done.

My brother, who just been to Japan for some BS trip, never visits me and I live 45 mins away.   He been to my place about three times in five years and never brings his stuck up rich brat wife.   I never allowed to look after my nieces (their kids) have them stay the weekend, hang out with my kids when they all younger.  They used to come for weekends away at a local resort motel in Masterton – they never ever came to visit me.

These are the people phoning my daughter who is 24 and got lots of her own stuff going on – I dont’ tell her how bad I feel to protect her.  There is nothing she can do, she can’t buy me somewhere safe to live or make ACC provide me services, or stop police from assaulting me and using the justice system to terrorise me IN ORDER TO DRIVE ME TO SUICIDE.   Where I live is No1 in OECD for women self-harming.

Jacinda Ardern must be telling facebook what to say to human sewage like me – to us filthy peasants who being denied basic human needs to safety, shelter, food security, decent jobs, health care, etc.   Grrrrr so fkn angry right now.

 

Lawyers purposely creating work out of persecution of victims of crime by mental health

ADSL – CONNECTING NZ LAWYERS TO EXPLOIT, PERSECUTE TERRORISED OPPRESSED VICTIMS OF CRIME AND POVERTY – yippee for us aye.  An organisation set up to pretend us peasants get justice – especially Civil Law, which our government made trying to get professional health care from ACC.

Elitist rich pigs in law, purposely creating themselves more work for their mates, ewwwwww.  Absolutely disgusted by this post and the way organisations like the Human Rights Commission fail to do anything about the situation for terrorised mentally injured abuse victims forced to live in inhuman living situations with safety, shelter and food insecurity.    Grrrrrrr

They have an entire industry set up just talking about persecuting terrorised poor people – how cool are they.  And the memories of these maggots who feed off the puss filled sore that is social decay – neo-liberals created and industry and THEY JUST LOVE IT.   I wonder how many jobs there would actually be in New Zealand if we got rid of all the maggots exploiting and profiting from us?????????

https://www.adls.org.nz/for-the-profession/news-and-opinion/2017/7/21/symposium-on-%E2%80%9Cneurodisability-and-therapeutic-jurisprudence%E2%80%9D/

New Poem – TAKE HEART

Take down those crusty paintings
Refined heART upon the wall
Take down those crusty paintings
In office, house and hall

Take stock of our priorities
Remember why we live
Take stock of our priorities
And what we have to give

Take heART the world is waking up
Peace and justice will soon reign
Take heART the world is waking up
To the class war game

Take over our courts and parliaments
Put new heART upon the walls
Take over our courts and parliaments
Until this Oligarchy falls

enD

 

More Propaganda from the Suicide Show – The Project

The following news item might be good advice for middle class and wealthy people who don’t really have many problems compared with the poorest in our society.  Particularly the 20% of the people that experience 80% of the crime according to police statistics – I’m in that ‘cultural’ group.  A string of mentally unwell flatmates has seen to that.  I have a song called Human Sewage, check out my Youtube Channel its on there.

I’m also contributing to crime according to police – through my non-violent challenging activism.  I am challenging unjust authority within my rights to freedom of expression under International and NZ Constitutional laws.  I follow the guidelines of the UN Charter for a Civil Society and a Civil Society Actor/Activist.

I would be out on the streets with my signs, guitar and chalk much more, but I am getting over a recent violent assault with handcuffs and have a lot of fear.  They permanently damaged my right wrist and it would be extremely painful to be in handcuffs again – although I still have my wrist brace and will wear that on any future protest.

Below is the news item that set this post off, I am tired of this, when the most unwell people don’t even have safe places to live or necessities of life.

http://www.msn.com/en-nz/entertainment/tv/the-project-host-kanoas-inspiring-mental-health-plea/ar-BBOxFdy?ocid=ientp

#metoo lawyers from New Zealand, this is my legal situation

I am currently up on charges of wilful damage for throwing red paint on the white ribbon banner inside Masterton police station and leaving a piece of art on the counter.  I also went outside and did a chalk spray swastika on the wall.

I then drove to Lower Hutt and chalked on Lower Hutt Court house Judge PJ Butler and a swastika.  I left there unchallenged and went to Wellington Central police station and handed myself in at the counter.

I was protesting about the miscarriage and perversion of justice for the recent graffiti charges I had been facing – other charges had been removed.  ACC demanded their misuse of a telephone charges be removed, so the judge didn’t know my motivation behind other non-violent protests with chalk, I have done.  All in regard to my health care and access to a suitably qualified lawyer.

Police in Wellington are way nicer and more respectful, I have made multiple complaints about  unnecessary violence and threats of worse violence by some Wairarapa police, all have been ignored.  This was at the end of January 2018, I have been unable to get a lawyer and been manipluated and discriminated against by Legal Aid Services.  I was in court last week and the judge ordered I be given a Amacus Curiea lawyer, or some shit, they going to get back to me about it.

Far as I can see its a lawyer that won’t listen to what you have to say and will just get the case through the courts as fast as possible.  So far I’ve been told they don’t want to deal with my other legal issues, but my protesting is part of all that.

I need to get with some decent legal brains and work out how I am going to get my case moved out of the District Court, into the High Court.   (NOTE:  My case last year for graffiti has grounds to be appealed, and that would reinvestigate the violent assault by police and other threats.) And I demand a JURY TRIAL due to the constitutional nature of my case.

There is no jury in New Zealand would find me guilty of wilful damage when they consider why I did it.  They have the power to give the Bill of Rights more power.   I DO NOT WANT A JUDGE ALONE TRIAL!!!!!  Our judiciary are grossly corrupt with regards to people with mental health issues, especially as a result/or aggrivated by degrading soul destroying poverty.

Is there any lawyer out there or law student that would be interested in talking this through with me?   I know they will say my wilfil damage charge is too minor to warrant a jury trial – how do I use the law to refute that.  What is the law that says I have to have a judge alone trial.

Come on, there must be someone out there that’s interested in the constitutional issues I am grappling with here.  I do not believe our Bill of Rights to be as impotent as they are saying, I want to take a case to court where these laws are given the constitutional status they should have.

I belive the fact I am a poor person, with the issues around health care, disability, non-violent activism and legal representation, gives me the right to take this case.  And brings up legal issues that really need to be sorted out, or we cannot call our country a democracy, free, or one that adheres to Rule of Law – which was of course designed to keep the peace.

I also have other legal issues I wish to challenge in the ILLEGAL gentrification of Carterton.  The driving out of the poor and disabled by wealthy foreigners and city people.  With a Libertarian and conservative elitist agenda in power throughout our local and central government representatives – who I believe only represent business interests.

I want to use Imperial Laws Application Act 1988 – Westminister STatute the 1st – common right be done to all rich as poor.

It is not right that rich people get to live in a town and poor people do not.  Carterton once had at least 35 state houses, mostly three bedroom with decent yards to grow food etc.  They were all sold off and an Official Information Act request revealed the details and numbers of these homes were removed from public record – which I thought was illegal.  I have been around Carterton and counted them, given state houses were of a distinctive style.

It is not right disabled people who have chosen Carterton as their home do not have the opportunity to live here.  Many to be around family and friends for support.

These are also our cultural rights, no matter anybody says – we have a culture.  New Zealand has ratified the UN treaty on economic social and cultural rights, which should be used in this legal issue of ‘gentrification’.  I know it is happening in America and UK, however I believe our 200 year old European history proves we prefer a more egalitarian society and we do not like injustice.  As a society we care for the less fortunate, when we do that we have peace, now we don’t do that we have suffering, violence, addiction and suicide.  Note I do not consider charity as care, it is a degrading nightmare and there are many highly corrupt institutions – Trust House in Wairarapa is one of the worst examples.

I also have legal issues under Magna Carta as to be destroyed, by being denied health care a court ordered to be provided eight years ago.  Along with not having a suitably qualified lawyer for the past 15 years, being denied legal representation for 16 years, just for asking for the health care and justice I was legally entitled to under multiple laws.

I have multiple legal issues with Indepedent Police Conduct Authority, Wairarapa and CCDHBs, Health and Disability Commissioner, Human Rights Commission etc.  Privacy issues the Commissioner refuses to address because of my disability, apparently police are allowed to say anything derogatory about you to other police and security staff who transport you between courts.

I have Magna Carta issues with police coming to my home so many times, I was terrorised.  They came once very late at night for a welfare check, I started having nightmares after that.  Now I just get scared whenever someone knocks at my door or I hear noises outside after dark – that police are coming to get me.

Several officers have said they don’t like what is happening to me.  One of them is my neighbour.

I have $10,000 Independence Allowance sitting with ACC because I can’t fill out the forms and they want me to go to yet another assessment, which are now so traumatic, I become extremely unwell.  I am so broke, I can barely afford food and am so unwell cannot go to the food bank.  Or the doctor, I havn’t had a doctor for over two years and not spoken to one about health issues other than my mental health for many years.

There must be people in our country or the western world who can help me with this, make this happen to stop the divisions in society we are seeing and the damage that is doing to peace on this planet.

Kia kaha and aroha to us all, leave a comment, lets work out how to do this.

 

The evil of PASSIVE INACTION in New Zealand mental health – Abuses of Power

This email is to people I have been begging for help from for years (some more recent) the passive aggressives I call them (except my last lawyer Susie Barnes) and have had it confirmed they are evil and their passive inaction is too – the inaction of cowards and people who have blind faith in authority – which I do not and I’m no coward either.


From: Jayne Routhan <jrouthan@hotmail.co.nz>
Sent: Monday, 11 June 2018 4:30 PM
To: Ann Rice; Health & Disability Commission; Complaints ACC; HRRT; hrg@mfat.govt.nz; Human Rights Commission; info@cdc.govt.nz; SUTTON, Michael; Susie Barnes; Auditor General; Independent Police Conduct Authority; lawtalk@lawsociety.org.nz; Andrew Little; stuart.nashmp@parliament.govt.nz; carmel.sepuloni@parliament.govt.nz; Iain Lees-Galloway MP; Trevor Mallard MP; Tracy Adamson; Tracey Martin MP; ron.mark@parliament.govt.nz; kieran.mcanulty@parliament.govt.nz; alastair.scott@parliament.govt.nz; United Nations Association of New Zealand; Petitions OHCHR
Subject: The evil of passive inaction – Philip Zimbado

You people are evil and your systems are too, I do what I do because I am a hero until I die.  I became a hero the first time I was arrested for chalking a poem on a building in Masterton.  When the police officer told me to take my clothes & period soaked underwear & sanitary pad off so I could sit and wait in a short padded suit for mental health team with blood running down my leg for an hour.  I stood their speechless, something snapped and I said “I’ll fight you for them.”  Cop went away to talk to her boss and I didn’t have to remove them and I have NEVER REMOVED MY CLOTHES EVER AGAIN, EVEN WHEN DETAINED UNDER MENTAL HEALTH & NEVER WILL BE EITHER.  I have had it threatened a few times and I end up curled up in corner of the room screaming at them, they are sexual perverts  etc – they usually back off very quickly after that (I don’t do it purposely, its my extreme response when they suggest it, I am so terrified/degraded by what happened.)

After waiting for hours in a cell terrified and stripped of all dignity  (where I had never been in my life) the CATT team turned up .  Andrew Curtis-Cody came, he had been refusing me care for years and that day was no different so he went, said I’m not dealing with her, police looked at each other in disbelief because I was so suicidal and unwell.  After he left they told me to get my clothes back on and let me leave to go back to my car and home with no services to my two school age children – cruelty and evil.  (They pursued a charge of wilful damage for the chalk poetry for next three months before dropping them at the last minute, they have done that many times.)

I looked into this gross violation of my rights, demanding I am stripped naked, I was told it was only a policy and had not been put under Bill of Rights scrutiny – it was also done FOR MY OWN GOOD.  When you watch Philip Zimbardo talking about how evil is done in the name of good you can see how I (all people with mental health issues) ended up having my most basic rights  violated.  That’s what police always said when they came to my home for WELFARE VISITS (dozens of them) DUTY OF CARE required it- even when I wrote multiple letters begging them not to, telling them it terrified me more.  I even had a psychiatrist support what I was saying, police ignored it.  Those people sending them were in health, justice, media & welfare agencies, all the people supposed to help me were sending police to terrorise me.  I made criminal complaints to police under Sections 150A and 151 of Crimes Act, I was ignored – a crime is being committed and police are part of it – that sounds very similar to the abusive power systems in TED talk.

This ‘abuses of power’ information is over nine years old and other studies are much older than this – there are people in power in New Zealand who know mental health systems are abusive and do nothing.   I have known this information for more than a decade because once you understand human instinct – social psychology – it never changes, just like the physiology of a body doesn’t.  I have told 1000s of people what is happening and they have done nothing.  I cried watching this TED talk (which I hadn’t actually seen before surprisingly) I’m the hero and you are evil, I was right and you are wrong.  That can change if you listen to what I have been telling you and start doing something about serious abuses of power in mental health/justice system perpetrated against me and many other vulnerable mentally injured abuse victims.

I am sending this to many of those people who are legally charged with WATCHING THE STORE to stop abuses of power.  It is interesting what Philip says about Iraqui prison and how those in authority put NORMAL/POORLY TRAINED/PEERS into these positions knowing they had created an environment for abuse.  I truly believe from my 15 years of study and experience, there are people within New Zealand government/business community who DESTROYED (not reformed) the mental health system in 1980s to cause harm to both the community and those disabled by mental health issues.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsFEV35tWsg

 

www.youtube.com
http://www.ted.com Philip Zimbardo knows how easy it is for nice people to turn bad. In this talk, he shares insights and graphic unseen photos from the Abu Ghraib …

Watching this, absorbing it and trying my best to stop HATING and LOATHING all of you.  One thing Philip doesn’t understand, is how those staff in the mental health system are hired for the personality trait of PASSIVE INACTION and complete subservience to authority – no matter how many people are harmed.  SOOOO many people I have told my story, they have shown concern, then said they couldn’t do anything – they participated in this evil.  So many mental health prisoners who have turned on me and really hurt me.  The worst people have always been case managers at ACC and senior staff at mental health services – I truly believe Andrew Curtis-Cody is  a psychopath and I know many other people in our community do as well.

The way mentally ill people have/are being treated is evil and those who supposed to keep checks on those in power have completely failed, I believe to the point of criminal negligence.  That is why the idea that Ron Paterson – being a leader in charge of WATCHING THE STORE in relation to health care of mentally ill people is grossly inappropriate and should be removed immediately from the mental health inquiry.  In his position he violates the principles of Natural Law as he is definitely not unbias, especially when receiving $1400 a day on top of his history of failing to WATCH THE STORE.  He allowed the torture suffering and deaths of so many with MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES and often those around them.

It will all be in my report to the government on human rights for the UPR. The solutions will be in the report I do to the United Nations only – as I know how grossly corrupt ‘you people are’. I do not trust you, when I think of the suffering and harm you have caused and how you have all blamed us, the victims, the suicidal, the violent, the child abusers.  There is extensive evidence to prove women put in toxic inhuman environments without support and in the care of children will violently abuse them.  OUr government created that environment on purpose, refuses to provide support these vulnerable powerless women need, then looks mortified when we have high rates of child abuse.  And the stress men are under to provide when they can’t.  Due to requirements of neo-liberalism to have high unemployment and a terrified working class.

PLEASE  STOP IGNORING ME – THIS IS A CRIME – I AM SCREAMING FOR HEALTH CARE AND JUSTICE I AM ENTITLED TO UNDER NZ LAW.  I AM BEING HARMED BY NOT GETTING HEALTH CARE I AM ENTITLED TO – I AM BEING HARMED FOR BEING FORCED THROUGH JUSTICE SYSTEM REPEATEDLY – I AM BEING HARMED – you are persecuting and subjecting me to criminal/medical negligence.  I desperately need it to stop because I don’t want to die, I don’t want to be tortured and tormented until I’m driven mad,  I want to have somewhere safe to live, I want to return to work and not be treated like worthless human sewage just for asking for things I am entitled to by law – God’s and man’s.

Sincerely

Jayne Routhan
Civil Society Activist

HUMAN SEWAGE

PERSECUTED WHISTLEBLOWER

Ministry of Health Wellington arrest for protesting about suicide

Guerrilla protest  mission MOH re suicide, got arrested

Guerrilla protest mission MOH re suicide, got arrested

Big day protesting in Wellington yesterday had been chickening out for weeks about doing it – but mental health was getting worse and worse I just had to let of steam about what Ministry of Health staff were doing.

Their refitted building now includes a fancy new café and security system to keep out us citizens.  Had a good audience for my rage, around 40 people around the foyer, it was lunchtime, about 12.45.  A small group of around 5 women tried to calm me down and did all the usual bullshit about having a cup of coffee.  I was  having none of that shit, I only got 10 mins before police arrive, so I’m as loud as I can be.  Wanted the police arrive to me singing and they did – Human Sewage.

I bollocked the fuck out of everybody there, called them murderers, told them they were killing my kids friends – driving them to suicide.  Screaming at them, hysterical, but the volcano had to go off some time.  I’m just speaking for me and all those I know who are unnecessarily suffering in this neo-liberal shit hole.  I talked about all the people I know who have committed suicide.

The looks on their faces was one of either guilt or complete refusal to take any responsibility for suicide and abusive mental health services.

Refused to leave the building, refused to stop yelling at them about why I was there so was arrested for Disorderly Behaviour, appropriate considering I have a stress Disorder.  Was best out of there anyway, I wouldn’t have stopped and the swearing wouldn’t have either.  Police were nice – two of them I already knew – I have am definitely infamous in Wellington for protesting.

Didn’t’ have to spend any time in the cells, was out of police custody within an hour.  Cried from when I was put in the police car, snot everywhere, was revolting.  Officer told me it is now a requirement to have handcuffs – just like America (were his words, he was an old cop, he knew it was shit for someone like me and completely unnecessary.

Got really upset several times, started ticking and rocking, backed up into the corner, when they asked questions about my doctor – when I don’t have one and the last one I had didn’t believe a thing I said.  Told them I had Complex PTSD, Sgt was bit of a jerk, telling me not to go back there or do anything else that had police called or I would spend night in the cells – WHICH I HATE – and is an illegal threat – given I hadn’t broken the law under Bill of Rights.

Gotta have a laugh with them though, threw all the laws I know at him, not me who’s the criminal – they should be charging the people at Min of Health and ACC that were denying me care I was entitled to.  Told him to charge them under Sections 150A 151 155 157 of the Crimes Act.  He ignored me of course.  They know I’m right that’s why they’re nice to me and let me go.

Left, had a cup of tea at Library Café next door and went off chalking and to meet up with a friend.  Chalked my poem MOH at Maui’s Garden and a good quote about poverty being a crime.

Was interesting watch police dealing with me, obviously there has been a bit of a discussion about how to legally.  Only got the Pre Charge Warning and let go – under Disorderly Behaviour, Sgt repeated several times it was not to be under Wilful Trespass (which I am up on charges of).  Was also issued two more trespass notices from Ombudsman and Human Rights Commission – WTF – they’re not allowed to use Trespass law to stop me protesting.  I was reading the judgement by J Williams.

Apparently I’m trespassed from about 15 different places LOL – all places who are supposed to legally help me and don’t, or who have made public comments about poor people etc.  So much for freedom of speech in New Zealand – if artists are being arrested you know things are bad.

Big shout out to Wellington Police – no comparison to the several violent arseholes that work in the Wairarapa.  I mentioned that to the officers who arrested me, a woman and man (the woman had arrested me before, I remember her).  They were nice and agreed not all officers are good people, I told them Q Hoera was a violent arsehole.

Told the Sgt wouldn’t be long and there would be 100 people like me occupying and protesting in government and justice buildings.  He didn’t look happy, I said he should be cause I was a non-violent activist who respected police that respected me and my rights to be angry about what was happening to so many.

Going to be making a legal complaint about the number of trespass notices when its a violation of my civil and political rights.  Non-violent protest, even if it is offensive (eg swearing) is a right I have under Civil Society Activism.  If I can’t get my justice issues in front of a judge, as required under Magna Carta, then I HAVE EVERY RIGHT to speak truth to power of those hurting me – AS OFTEN AS I CHOOSE TO – without threat of intimidation.

 

Sunday – TVNZ – Trouble In Mind

Was watching TV and saw the first adverts for latest Sunday programme on TVNZ which exposes police being used as mental health services, while they blocked me from their email & social media for BEGGING them to tell my story & protect me from persecution by police while I am denied mental health/ACC care.  Earlier in the night I had been listening to the radio and adverts by Wairarapa National MP Alastair Scott saying how much he enjoyed hearing peoples issues and helping them while he refused to see me or help me with what is happening to me.  Along with repeated adverts by Stopping Violence Services who have never replied to the desperate message I have left on their answerphone.

I had to write otherwise I will kill myself tonight – I couldn’t cry like I wanted to, had to hold back the wailing cry I want to do because I know I would never stop and this would also have meant I would kill myself.  You never really get used to being suicidal due to neglect by your own government and being illegally denied the health care and justice you know you are entitled under multiple NZ laws.

As my research has uncovered the PTSD I initially had after the rape has turned to Compounding Complex PTSD due to ongoing trauma & neglect.  CPTSD is extremely common in New Zealand but being misdiagnosed and covered up by govt & health professionals, as things like depression, personality disorder, bi-polar, attention seeking, lazy etc.  It wouldn’t have got to this if I had received the care I was entitled to but left untreated and added to by ongoing trauma due to lack of safe stable housing and being left disabled and vulnerable in our revolting community has left me a shell of my former self.

Sunday hurt the most when they do stories on OTHER PEOPLE regarding mental health but NEVER ME, never what I know, the laws being violated, never the persecution I am suffering at hands of corrupt police, who will do anything to protect what the government and justice agencies are doing to all disabled mentally injured abuse/trauma victims and mentally ill.  David Rutherford (Chief Human Rights Commissioner) was right in his comments on bullying that the people those being bullied go to for help and ignore you, cause more distress than the bullies themselves.

I begged Sunday for help, begged them, told them police were being used as mental health staff years ago – I was ignored, discredited and degraded for it.  There was no way my case was important enough or of interest to New Zealand public, no way exposing the FACT that people with mental health issues were suffering a gross miscarriage of justice after neo-liberals shut down vast majority of mental health facilities – not that many of these places weren’t houses of horror and torture for many of their residents.  I seldom watch the show because it triggers all the time I have begged them for help and been rejected.

Triggered by all the times I have begged politicians for help, including all Wairarapa MPs for past 15 years, all ACC ministers, all ministers of health, all prime ministers, any MP that ever made a comment on mental health, suicide or ACC – hundreds of them.  All sent letters and emails telling them that people with mental health issues were being persecuted and denied PROFESSIONAL health care and everybody was turning a blind eye to the persecution of an entire sector of society.

When you have studied the violence trauma and neglect industry you realise them psychologically torturing and rejecting you to save money, is done because of a bizarre neo-liberal cult-like belief that you should advance rich, disadvantage middle class and persecute those weak people in society if they can’t work or need help to work.

I cry and feel a waterfall of tears right behind my eyes, I get that often now, even when walking through town to get some exercise because I have been so unwell, become ‘frozen’ with trauma, havn’t thrown up enough (I am recognised as having bulimia but nothing is ever done about it, no matter how much I beg for help) and have put on a huge amount of weight that makes me feel BAD – really really BAD in so many ways.  In 2009 when I had some care, that was illegally taken by National government John Judge and Paula Rebstock, I had a gym membership with some amazing support from the instructors, co-ordinated by my very professional Occupational Therapist Glenda.

I was supposed to get this reinstated but ACC continue to refuse 7 years down the track.  I can’t think about how suicidal and dysfunctional I was after they dumped me, the 46 day hungerstrike and the lawyer who let me down so badly, took ACC to yet another review, which I won AND STILL I GOT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.  This continual telling me I would get services then not providing them is why my mental health deteriorated and I now ‘go tourettes’ when badly triggered.

Thankfully I can keep the violence towards others under control with a lot of prayer and understanding of my disorder – I am sure soon the suicidal hell I suffer so often will take me. Why would I want to stay upon this earth if I can’t work and have to live in terror of homelessness, abusive flatmates and a cruel majority of my community in power who are unprepared to listen to what I know, say and experience.  Yes I have a lot of supporters but what can they do, they can’t get me a house, they can’t force ACC or mental health to provide me professional health care.  I don’t burden those I love or I they would be traumatised to and I’m not going to allow this to be passed to the next generation – like so many do out of ignorance and severe dysfunction.

From what I can see in the advertisement for Trouble in Mind they are going to get again cover up that under human rights and bill of rights laws our government is discriminating against and persecuting mentally injured and ill people.  As I said in my Suicide Prevention Strategy it is a neo-liberal obsession that professional treatment and rehabilitation models are kept out of mental health services so they can create as many jobs as possible from HUMAN SEWAGE like me.

I cry because I know this is done on purpose, because neo-liberal terrorists are doing it in other countries and just like other countries our corporate media – who make a lot of money out of social dysfunction – are not telling the entire story and not pointing out the gross miscarriage of justice going on here.

When I think of all the times I have begged for help with what I know – that I set up this website and all my social media for – have dedicated my life to – how many men women and children have suffered, killed themselves, become violent or addicts because of these corrupt, criminally negligent, seriously disturbed people in government who prefer to spend taxes on cuts to top tax rates, MASSIVE govt debt interest repayments, building refurbishments, Saudi farms, charity to other countries, etc  Nope getting distraught can’t keep telling this story, too many traumas come into my head and the suicidal hell becomes overwhelming.

Its late, I’m exhausted I’ll post this and maybe finish it later if I can – I hope and pray journalists at Sunday see it and contact me to tell my story, that they will ask why I am up on 7 criminal charges for screaming for help from ACC and using non-violent forms of protest to express my disgust and distress.

All those people they purposely killed, all those families they destroyed with their neo-liberal hatred, their corruption and violations of so many laws and everybody who was supposed to protect us sat back and condoned or participate in it.  Because they were told if government persecuted an entire sector of society that was OK – THAT IS NOT OK.

This is what happens when those with money and unbridled power go completely mad.