Tag Archives: metoo

Here’s some really clever GLOBALIST neo-liberal propaganda by Rod Oram

My computer now won’t print anything so I can’t print out the story, make notes and do a youtube video about it.   Here is a very clever neo-liberal globalist who avoids the word neo-liberalism and gives us the BS about we need a constitution in the commonwealth.  We need to follow the Commonwealth Charter, Declaration of Democracy and Rule of fkn law – is what we need to do!  That will not happen until poor people like myself who most oppressed and terrorised by neo-liberals in power, have access to lawyers and our court system.

I know a lot about NZs constitutional documents – I participated in the Constitution Conversation they had several years ago, it was an embarrassment of wealthy powerful people talking BS, who knew nothing about those in poverty.   I went along and contributed where I could as a poor person – the people had absolutely no idea what I was talking about they were so sheltered.

OUR GOVERNMENT AND JUDICIARY ARE CORRUPT – THAT IS WHY OUR CURRENT CONSTITUTIONAL DOCUMENTS ARE NOT UPHELD IN COURT.   In fact my dodgy lawyer at the moment REFUSES TO USE constitutional documents like the Imperial Laws Application Act to defend my case.   He refuses to respond to any of my emails, he refuses to put in writing when he discriminates against me and refuses to listen to my instruction, etc etc.

I will tell you more soon

I need to go for a walk now and clear my heard after the trauma my brother put me through yesterday my heart is still broken and hurting.  Its raining, that should be nice, I like walking in the rain.   Part of my childhood growing up in Hokitika.



New Zealand governments suicide prevention strategy blames the community for neo-liberal failure

I will remind people MIKE KING has no qualifications WHATSOEVER.  I have had personal experience of this mentally ill narcistic abusive psychopath, when he first got into the SUICIDE INDUSTRY and more recently where I was not allowed to be part of some marketing idea him and Kyle had.  I have been protesting for years more than him and knew far more than him and his mate Kyle McDonald – who both emotionally and financially profit from what they do.  They cater to a small group of suicidal people, not the majority – they particularly love addicts/junkies and middle class/rich people because of their own unresolved issues and elitism.

These ideas the government are suggesting are nothing more than propaganda, they are not going to address the suicide issue, they require people to be terrorised and suicidal so they can create more jobs and profits for charities/not-for-profits and businesses.   Blaming the community for the nightmare of hell they have created, demanding the community (which doesn’t exist in a neo-liberal society according to Margaret Thatcher) deal with suicidal people – WTF.   This idea DOES NOT WORK, PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO, JUST TALKING WITH SOMEONE DOESN’T HELP if they dont’ have the necessities of life required to be provided by our government.

What an insult to the families and friends of suicidal people, if they knew what to do then the person they cared about would be dead or suicidal.  The complete ridiculousness of King’s statements show he is not very educated or intelligent.

It is delusional to think charities and not for profits are not profiting from this suffering.  Many of these charities pay their staff – often VERY GOOD SALARIES and have cultures of extravagance way beyond what those they ‘support’ would know.  KidsCan is reknown for it.  The neo-liberal/Libertarian utopia demands charities pay for those the government once cared for – govt who have the legal responsibility under international treaties and NZ constitutional laws to care for.  Mike King is one of those people.

I have had dealings with some of these suicide organisations and all they do is tell people to get over it and they are loved – which means absolutely nothing.  Love is a verb not a noun.

Also remember Mike King has been at the forefront of youth suicide for over a decade AND NEW ZEALAND HAS THE HIGHEST RATE OF YOUTH SUICIDE IN THE OECD!!!!   If Mike King was successful in his ideas then I would be completely supportive of what he is suggesting and supporting – BUT HE HAS BEEN A WORLD LEADING FAILURE AT IT!!!!!!!!!   Then of course there is the recent breakdown he had over the numbers of people calling him wanting to commit suicide since he was made NZer of the year for services to youth suicide.   THE MAN CAN’T HANDLE IT, he is only doing this for the publicity, that’s why he was a comedian and performer, for the attention, he even admits it in interviews.

As for people like me being involved in developing services that work – THAT WILL NEVER EVER HAPPEN – as I know from my 17 years of making submissions to parliament about dozens of laws/commissions etc, about what was necessary to bring down suicide rates.   The government will choose those suggestions that are in line with their neo-liberal and other political beliefs and of course their budgets.   Professional health models will not come into it and making sure one of the most important group of suicidal people – victims of violent crime (domestic violence) get all the entitlements required under ACC law.

NOTE to employers who fund ACC, unemployed adults/children are paid for out of general taxation.  However you are being shafted after decades ago the NZ government covertly and corruptly made victims of crime who work your financial responsibility.  They also made people who had sports injuries your responsibility as well (not counting professional sports people).  Both of these groups should be under general taxation.

AND GENERAL TAXATION TO THE RICHEST PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY MUST BE REINSTATED TO PREVIOUS LEVELS IN ORDER TO FUND THIS!   Not only have these wealthy elitist globalists had massive general taxation tax cuts, they have also had family wealth taxes removed in order for families to acquire more money and resources.

It is well known to me people with mental health issues are the biggest target for persecution by neo-liberals in our government.  We are the 21st century Jew – except of course NAZI persecuted disabled people, women they raped and homeless gypsy more than Jews.   If Jews were perceived as the rich in Germany now the rich, gays and people with dark brown coloured skin are united in harming people like me.   I attended the meetings prior to Human Rights report from NZ to the UN – in a meeting of around 50 people held at Victoria University, 48 of them were there about human rights abuses of people with mental health issues.

Again, that is why I am being terrorised by the police and denied ACC care I am entitled to after winning two ACC reviews NINE YEARS AGO.  Jacinda knows this, Labour party knows this, NZ First knows this and so do the Greens.

These low level services are going to tell people there is hope for the future and they are valued – there is no hope for 20% of the population in any neo-liberal controlled society and they are definitely not valued for talent or skill.


Maori Council slams Governments suicide plan – racist media incite hate!

This is the insanity we have to live with in New Zealand media inciting racial hatred and division.

There are 100s reasons why the government’s suicide plan is an unprofessional, corrupted, criminally negligent, abusive, illegal experimental, propaganda/marketing, neo-liberal abomination – but it has absolutely nothing to do with race WHATSOEVER.

It has everything to do with the PROVEN SCIENTIFIC FACT that privatisation of mental health services into the hands of contractors leads to people with the most need being rejected and those with the least being overly supported/resourced.

What Jacinda Ardern, Labour Party, ACC, mental health, DHB, police, justice etc are currently doing to me through the courts proves without doubt the government do not intend for people with Complex PTSD  to have the professional treatment care, rehabilitation and safe stable homes (shelter and food security) they are entitled to if they are mentally injured by sexual and physical violence (or overwhelming trauma) and cannot work.  These people are the most significant part of those who are suicidal and not coping in our neo-liberal extremist society.

Years of neo-liberal controlled governments have not deviated from the same corrupt, inhuman, illegal, unconstitutional behaviour.  Making everything into an opportunity for someone to profit personally from a business has been a failure when applied to basic human needs as outlined in Maslows Heirachy of Needs.  When applied to safety, housing and food security – our most basic needs.

My current wealthy lawyer laughed at me when I said I was being denied the necessities of life.  If I had the necessities of life I wouldn’t be suicidal, self-harming, etc and ROTTING ON WELFARE.   If you consider the evolution of humans I cannot think of another time in human history where a person would have where they live (a private rental) constantly threatened to be taken away, every three months.  Where people could not live in peace – which is a significant part of the Magna Carta and why we have fkn laws and govt.

I have no feeling of safety because of the police violence and my complaints being rejected.  I don’t have a man to protect me from other males violence.  I never used to get scared if I heard noises outside when it was dark, now I freeze for a few seconds listening and waiting for a knock on the door and police coming to get me to hurt me again – physically and psychologically.  I am also terrified of the large numbers of mentally ill people who I have been forced to live with who exploit and terrorise people like myself, mostly not on purpose.  It is difficult not to be terrorised by someone who attempts suicide.

I have no shelter or food security, every day, every week, every month, every year, every decade I am forced to live with the knowledge I could be given six weeks notice from MY HOME and be homeless (as there are no state houses in Carterton I would also be driven from where I belong).   I am forced to live with the knowledge that I have so little food and almost every dollar I am given has to go to food, therefore depriving me of other basic cultural rights.

The basic right to go to funerals, attend family events, participate in cultural events, go to a doctor when everybody else can, receive health care other people do, get justice (if I had money I would have paid a lawyer to get my ACC care back and sue them years ago), have a pet, have a job, etc.

Here is the news item that inspired this post.  You should also refer to Chris Hedges interview with Matt Taibbli and other ones about how media incite violence to create profits.

Hi Selena – how’s your day going – you can withdraw from this and say you were being bullied into it you know.   I saw how that Sgt was with you, I know how the decent officers feel about me being terrorised through the police and court system rather than getting the ACC care I’m supposed to have.



Carterton Library staff put the GUMBOOT in when I started crying after a distressing email – WTF?

I at another library writing this but I had to because it was really disturbing.    I’m getting fibre put on at the moment and was just working out how to get my computer to see the link, so went to Carterton Library to see my emails and work out how to do it.

When I had opened my emails there were two, one was from Snr Sgt Jennifer Hansen at Masterton police demanding I organise to be arrested because I had breached my bail again.   See my youtube channel for details of how distressed I have been about days of ‘media porn’/publicity around New Zealand’s worst suicide statistics ever recorded.  Given I am a Civil Society Activist in the area of mental health and suicide it has been very distressing and makes me even more suicidal – which I am sure other people experience as well.

I spent a while trying to reply to her and arrange it, then suddenly the computer timed out and the whole thing stopped.   This triggered me and I started crying and became upset about what is happening to me for ASKING FOR ACC CARE I AM ENTITLED TO AND DESPERATELY NEED.   I went to the desk to ask what to do  about restarting the computer, the woman who offered I refused, explaining her brother in law was the reason I was so distress.

Another woman came over to help me, but by the time I sat down and tried to type I was crying so much I couldn’t see anything – not sobbing, just tears flowing down my face, while I was trying to pretend they weren’t and everything was OK.  Firstly this affluent woman was extremely cold and callous with absolutely no emotion whatsoever.  Considering the big deal Carterton Council did with the government propaganda campaign about SUICIDE – GUMBOOT FRIDAY – WALKING IN SOMEONE’S GUMBOOTS SO YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND WHAT BEING SUICIDAL WAS LIKE.

She then proceeded to tell me I should leave to regain my composure.  I told her my distress was caused by the email saying I had violated my bail conditions for my non-violent justified  legal protesting about abusive mental health services and how I needed to organise urgently to be arrested again.  That I would be picked up by police if they saw me – previously I have spent many weeks ‘at large’ with warrants when I refused to go to court until I got health care and lawyer I was supposed to have.

Obviously Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and the neo-liberal controlled Labour party are prepared to do worse to me to stop me speaking out about how abusive and exploitive mental health services are and how corrupted by neo-liberal believes most of our government are.

The comment about me leaving the premises to compose myself is EXACTLY THE PHRASE Masterton WINZ (welfare) office Manager Michele Eades used when telling me off/threatening me for self-harming when I was having to fill out forms there several weeks ago.  I’ve never heard the words COMPOSE MYSELF before from any of them, which makes me suspicious the police or someone very corrupt has been instructing people on what to say to me (and other terrorised and terrified poor people.   That would of course be a violation of my privacy – except there is no point in make a formal complaint to the Privacy Commission.   The PC is only there to protect the privacy of dangerous, cruel, criminal business people and government, not the people they are persecuting.

I think what shocked me about this woman at the library was her complete lack of empathy – it was like I wasn’t even human.  Definitely psychopathic behaviour.   All the wealthy people in Wairarapa don’t want to see anybody being harmed by 30 years of austerity and living of fear due to mass immigration with local and central government ignoring where disabled and poor local people were going to live.

Not being allowed to show any emotion in a public building, so people weren’t made to feel uncomfortable or allowed to know just how bad the situation is for someone like me.  Someone who publicly protests about abusive mental health services and government denying disabled local people safe stable affordable, culturally appropriate housing.

Affluent women who work for the government are particularly bad, it is imperative for them psychologically and to keep their happiness intact to believe women like myself don’t exist and our valid despair is a ‘mental health issues’ because we are ill.   Its not me who is ill, it is the government and the community who are ill and cruel and criminals.  I know this because I know the law, our most basic laws of how elected officials are required to act – which is not to advance rich business people and persecute poor people in order to exploit and degrade them.

I am typing this at Masterton Library where they have up notices threatening distressed people they will be removed – the library was the only place they had left to go and rich people don’t want them there either.   Elitism is rife in the Wairarapa, I was interviewed individually by a lawyer from the mental health inquiry that came through last year.   She told me the reason we are No 1 in NZ for suicide and self-harm is elitism, she asked me how I thought something could be done about it.   My suggestion was making sure complaints were listened to and people were punished for breaches of professional standards and causing people harm when they didn’t do their jobs properly.    No valid complaint I have ever made has been listened to or acted on – I have been ridiculed and discredited every time, while the staff get of scott free and go on to become even more degrading, insulting and abusive.

With so much support for a disabled friend in Flaxmere recently I am wondering if New Zealand’s government and rich people are trying to herd all the poor into certain areas to leave the rest of the country for them.   Just like has happened in England – ewwwwww.  New Zealand culture is based on egalitarian, justice and equality principles, not elitism, hate and inequality which is what neo-liberal terrorists demand!





New Zealand Mental Health perverting justice for #metoo Civil Society Activist

Check out the sort of letters I am forced to write on a regular basis, in an attempt to get justice in this country.    Heard some BS from Minister of Justice Andrew Little on news last night about some big review they are doing because our justice system had been Americanised, what does that mean?????    Andrew Little knows my case and refuses to do anything about it.   The Minister of Health does as well and refuses to do anything about it.  I know public mental health they are not using professionally recognised treatment and rehabilitation models and are in fact ILLEGALLY (against UN and international law) experimenting on people with mental health issues in NZ.  That they are prepared to pervert justice in this way, proves those at the top are insane and abuse their powerful positions in our society.

And check out the ‘awesome’ lawyer they have given me, so far EVERY lawyer I have ever had that supposed to be experienced in disability were THE WORST, MOST IGNORANT, COWARDLY, USELESS LAWYERS you would ever meet.   Obviously the dregs of the legal fraternity get to deal with those who experience the most crime, the most violence and the worst government violations of human rights in this country – according to the UN.   Which would of course explain why people like myself are being denied protection from harm, justice and right.

From: JR
Sent: Friday, 23 August 2019 6:50 AM
To: HANSEN, Jennifer <Jennifer.Hansen@police.govt.nz>; Alisdair Ross <shwedagon@xtra.co.nz>
Subject: Formal complaint of perverting course of justice

This is a formal complaint to police regarding people within public mental health services perverting the course of justice by ensuring I was not able to attend a court ordered psychiatric assessment.

Please refer to emails sent to Nelda Day at Masterton Court (I will send copies if you choose to investigate this crime), after I received notification of the assessment where I ask about the meeting being recorded and court security guard Jason being in attendance.   At the time I hadn’t read the emailed letter properly due to communication impairments I have when dealing with organisations I am terrified of (like public mental health and ACC).   I wasn’t aware of the out of court meeting until late Friday afternoon when lawyer Alisdair Ross phoned me and offered me $50 for petrol to get to Porirua.

I was called away suddenly for 10 days  (6-16 August) by my elderly mother who needed to be supervised (due to her health/heart issues) while staying to care for my  teenage nephews, while their parents were on a five week holiday through America and Canada.  My mother paid for everything and although I was very reluctant to go due to my serious mental health issues and issues with my affluent family, I also desperately needed to see my daughter who lives in ————–.   My daughter had a serious car accident three months ago and is lucky to be alive.  Because ACC refuse to reinstate my entitlement to professional health care and the Independence Allowance (they brag to WINZ and me about withholding over $10,000 in unpaid IA) I was unable to go to her and hug her due to overwhelming poverty and had been pining to do so since the accident.

I received the notice of the meeting by email on 12 August and responded immediately to Nelda Day, five days after the date on the letter/email.  Apparently mental health had tried to deliver it by courier but of course I was not home, so they chose to send it via Masterton court staff who I correspond with regularly.

I advised Alisdair Ross I was not able to attend the assessment at Forensic Mental Health in Porirua due to serious overwhelming phobic impairments I have dealing with public MH services over many years.  Particularly as a result of a life-threatening incident in 2002/3 where I was refused mental health services after ————- (note I am very distressed having to bring this event up and don’t want to go into the details as what happened is incredibly traumatising for me).   I am very isolated and have a very limited environment due to poverty and overwhelming fear of my cruel hostile violent community, including health and justice workers.  All psych assessments I have had done to date have been on court property with a security guard I know in attendance, this is what I was expecting (even though it is still incredibly difficult).  I offered to get to Wellington court rather than have the psychiatrist drive all the way to Masterton for the assessment (as Masterton court security are able to work in Wellington) because I know he is a busy person.  I also knew the second psych assessment was a formality as the assessments were only done to prove I was to unwell to represent myself in court as Legal Aid were continuing to refuse me a lawyer, after 18 months since the initial charges.

Snr Sgt Jennifer Hansen offered to fill out the Legal Aid forms herself in an attempt to rectify this gross violation of my rights.   I drove to Masterton within an hour of her offering, as filling out forms when I am extremely traumatised is another very difficult and debilitating impairment related to my disability.  I had nobody who could fill the form out for me, those very few people I now interact with are either not competent or well enough to do it and my family would insult and degrade me – tell me to not be so lazy and stupid and do it myself – if I asked

Since I had been given a lawyer there was no longer any reason for the psych assessment as I now had legal representation and could defend my Constitutional Law position regarding my challenging LEGAL non-violent protests, which all the charges I am currently under relate to.

I emailed Nelda Day several times but received no response back – I assumed she was forwarding my emails to Forensic Mental Health.   I phoned them myself at 8.30am on Monday 19 August, when the meeting was scheduled for, I left a detailed message with staff for L Pacey.  Told the receptionist about the requirement for the assessment to be in a court and how I was unable to attend due to impairments related to my disability.  Told them I had been away, apologised for the situation as I knew the psychiatrist was a busy person.  Gave them my mobile phone number (which they could have easily obtained from the court or police) and asked L Pacey to contact me and a new time to be organised urgently.

Early on Thursday morning I phoned Forensic Mental Health again (I do not have an email address for these people) and was told the new meeting was for 11am and it was 8.35am and they were demanding it was to be held in Porirua.  The woman who answered the phone was the same person as Monday, except now she was hostile and offensive and hung up on me when I responded appropriately to her bigotry.

I then proceeded to phone different places in an attempt to find an email address for Forensic Mental Health and the psychiatrist.   I phoned the Minister of Health’s office but they were unable to find me an email address without having to do enquiries themselves and I didn’t want to waste their time.  I then phoned public mental health services in Masterton and was put through to the head of adult mental health, a woman (I can’t recall her name).   When I asked for an email address for Forensic mental health to sort out an urgent appointment, she started laughing manically and didn’t stop when I asked why, so I hung up.

I am aware from people I know in the community, who have been in situations where I was being discussed by mental health workers, that public mental health services staff in Wairarapa don’t like me and are scared of me.   I have never done anything to threaten them with harm in any way, although I do now have a ‘tourettes’ type response when they insult degrade reject and trigger me.  Thankfully that only involves insults and swearing – a part of my condition these mental health professionals should understand and accommodate – not use to deny me all health care, justice and extensive welfare/services many other mentally ill people receive and I am denied.  Perhaps it is this hatred and fear that compels them to be unprofessional, oppressive, insulting and childishly vindictive in my case.  Perhaps it is my years of public and online protests about abusive criminally negligent local and national mental health services they don’t like?

What has happened to prevent me from attending this court required assessment will firstly upset the judge, when I agreed to go even though it was a waste of everybody’s time and I did my best to get out of it.  Secondly because it will yet again delay court proceedings which is traumatising and harmful to me, costly to the court and taxpayers.  Delaying court proceedings has happened because of police and others before, it is illegal under NZ and international law to use the justice system in a punitive way against a recognised Civil Society Activist (in the area of mental health and justice issues of the poor) as defined by the United Nations.

These people who arranged this meeting have perverted the course of justice and violated my rights as a disabled Civil Society Activist.   They have also violated Sections 150A and 151 of the Crimes Act by not acting legally and causing me harm and distress.   As a result of this current situation I was very unwell on Wednesday night and police were called by govt/mental health 1737 STAFF WHO HAVE BEEN ORDERED NOT TO DEAL WITH ME, for self-harm and suicide concerns.   Being rejected from all forms of health services, severely aggravates the suicidal ideation aspects of my disability (which is a living nightmare trying not to kill yourself and having to deal with it alone), along with my valid extreme fear of police after several instances of unwarranted violence and bigotry is again punitive use of the justice system being ignored by Ind Police Conduct Authority and senior police officers.

Ms Hansen, please advise if you intend to act on this valid complaint of perverting the course of justice and violations of Sections 150A and 151 of the Crimes Act 1961.  Mr Ross, please advise what you intend to do about arranging a psych assessment I can attend – please confirm the advice you have given me so far, which was it was nothing to do with you and I was to do what Forensic Mental Health told me to do or I would be jailed for failing to attend the unnecessary unwarranted second assessment.

Civil Society Activist

Chris Hedges validating everything I know to be true in New Zealand


New Zealand culture demands we reject and do not deal with the economic and social problems neo-liberals created.  Which is what is happening, example being social workers are going to help all those people who are suffering in the darklands of this hell hole.

Got to watch this over again, it describes people like me fighting against this nightmare as a mentally injured victim of economic and physical violence.

Here is some more from Mark Blyth about global economic failure


And New Zealand media didn’t tell us what was going on either and still don’t.    They’re owned by the Oligarchs and the dumb face that Fox journalist is putting on – is about what I expect of those morons on TVNZ, Breakfast, AM Show, The Project and that other ridiculous NOT NEWS show they run.

What is distressing for me is how prepared our government and those around me are to commit constitutional crimes against someone like me, who simply asking for what the law says I’m entitled to.   What they are doing to me to discredit and terrorise me, what the community are doing as well – the poverty is driving people to fascism.

For those people in Wairarapa reading this I know for a fact Wairarapa Voice are liars and fascists and I have made complaints about them.  Very disturbingly a gay sounding man in Andrew Little’s office – who hates all people who make any reference to the bible when responding to his corruption and bigotry – did all he could to stop me and protect Local Govt NZ, Business Round Table (ie NZ Initiative), Carterton Council and Wairarapa Voice.   Especially to protect Jill Greathead who I proved lied on TV about an event they had last year.  Where I was insulted and degraded for being there, told I was mentally ill over and over and should leave.

I will have to put my complaint up and show you what happened.   Jill Greathead is a liar and neo-liberal fascist through and through – people like her are ONLY INTERESTED IN AUSTERITY for disabled poor human sewage like me and MORE MONEY FOR THEM.

What he says about old people is SOOOOO TRUE – if you check out the people running Wairarapa Voice or Localism NZ (DO NOT SUPPORT THIS FASCIST BS FEUDALISM EITHER) etc its all old people who own 80% of the wealth AND THEY JUST DONT GIVE A FUCK!!!!


Not allowed to ph 1737 or Lifeline – they phone police to terrorise me instead!

Stupid me flipped channels to Wairarapa TV and was bombarded with the most neo-liberal elitist BS on our airwaves.   Firstly Trust House doing a publicity stunt with some media guy who running for mayor – saying how great they are and to apply for arts funding.   WTF – Trust House new logo says  Commercial Strength for Public Good – its sick.     Corporate power for public oppression more like it.   As soon as I did a art installation in their office and wrote a poem about them called Trust House Terrorists they started big propaganda campaign about how great they were and how much money they gave to ‘the community.

They DON’T, Trust House profit from vulnerable poor people and charge market rents (on the state housing they got for EXTREMELY CHEAP), they profit from drunks and gamblers as well.   Wairarapa has the highest rate of POKIE MACHINE use in New Zealand (another winning corporate strategy from Trust House).  They use their status as a ‘charity’ to commit cruel immoral criminal acts of elitist HATE against poor and vulnerable, they exploit them and give the money they make to middle class and rich for extravagant sports, arts and business projects.  They steal from the poor and give to the rich in this sick sick region!!!!

Trust HOuse bought all the state housing in Wairarapa 20 years ago and never built another house so now we have a housing crisis for disabled and poor locals.  The rich here were trying to drive poor from the region into the cities, where they want all peasant working class and disabled – so more room in countryside for them and their extravagant lifestyles.   We have highest rate of suicide, self-harm and compulsory treatment orders in this hell hole THEY CALL DEATH VALLEY (also gambling).  We have a lot of private schools training up the rich kids to HATE, degrade and exploit poor public school kids.   That’s what is behind the HATRED TOWARDS disabled poor locals who being driven from their homes, jobs and health care – its generational and class related.

So after the BS about Trust House there is mental health hour, first 15 mins is some pervert sounding creep doing deep breathing.  Mindfulness is neo-liberal version religion ewwww and has never got anybody somewhere safe to live, prevented domestic/flatmate violence, prevented police violence, prevented government corruption – NOWHERE ON THIS PLANET!!!.

Then we get American mental health TV for the rest of it – some DEFINITELY MENTALLY ILL low IQ foreigner telling jokes and talking about stand up comedy.   ON OUR MENTAL HEALTH HOUR – YES FOLKS – that’s New Zealand and that is how much government propaganda we are subjected to.   The government puts mentally ill, low IQ, comedians on TV FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY and that is supposed to improve the wellbeing and wellness of New Zealanders – WTF????  Mental Health Foundation organised that.

I phoned 1737 number because I was extremely distraught and was told they couldn’t talk to me and had to hang up.   I am not allowed to phone Healthline either.   I phoned Samaratans and I got what sounded like middle aged AUSTRALIAN WOMEN in Perth – WTF?????  One woman said they get lots of calls from New Zealand.  New Zealand government and society can’t even provide a service in New Zealand, they have to send it to volunteers in Perth – WTF??????  I guarantee it was some self-righteous Christian organisation – what are they going to do about homelessness, govt corruption, being denied health care, police violence etc in New Zealand???

THEN OF COURSE ONE OF THESE ORGANISATIONS THAT HUNG UP ON ME PHONES THE CARTERTON POLICE ‘concerned for my welfare’ because that’s how it works here.  You beg for professional mental health care from ACC or public MH services and you are denied it for nine years (after winning two court cases).   Then when you become really unwell and suicidal because you are being ILLEGALLY AND CRUELLY DENIED HEALTH CARE ETC YOU ARE ENTITLED TO then police phone you saying they are concerned for your welfare.  They stopped taking me to police station and getting mental health CATT team to see me a long time ago.  Because MH always walked out and refused services and still do – so do ACC and I won two court cases for that to be reinstated.

Officer on the phone was really really distressing – they know exactly what to say to make you want to kill yourself – that’s for sure.   Called me mate, trying to be nice to me, like a normal person, I was upset when he phoned anyway, so I was swearing at him from the beginning.  When he asked me not to I just launched into my situation, what he called was ‘a few issues’   WTF.   I’m denied all health care, including a GP, the police terrorise me in my home repeatedly and violently assault me more than once, including threatening me with worse JUST FOR ASKING FOR MY ACC CARE TO BE REINSTATED.   Why would I be nice to any police officer when they have got me up on 18 different minor trumped up charges – while ignoring my serious complaints of criminal negligence against ACC and others.   Why would I be nice to any police officer after what they are putting me through – I never hurt anybody, they hurt me.

The officer said he was new to Carterton and didn’t know me personally – except by reputation I”m sure.  I know some of what is on my police file and nobody would read it and treat me like a human being – I’ve tried to get it removed by the Privacy Commissioner – they laughed at me.  I JUST WANT TO GET MY CARE SO I CAN RETURN TO WORK, IF I DON’T I CAN’T LIVE.  I don’t understand why police are doing this to me, all the red neck neo-liberal elitist pigs in this region are obsessed with people working – AND WHAT HAS ILLEGALLY DENYING ME ACC CARE GOT TO DO WITH NEO-LIBERALISM????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I don’t understand

I hate getting phone calls from the police – now I won’t be able to sleep thinking they are going to come and terrorise me again, like they have before in the middle of the night – for WELFARE CHECKS!!!!!   He phoned me back three times, knowing I would have to pick up the phone or he would come to the house and really upset me – I run and hide in the bathroom now I”m so terrified.

This is all sounding so surreal, I would find it hard to believe anybody who told me this was happening to them too.   This would have been what was happening in NAZI Germany as the Germans started to be told the horrendous suffering and deaths the NAZI were committing on the basis of an economic religious belief.  We have the United Nations to stop another NAZI German and Peter Fraser from New Zealand was one of the first people to sign the UN treaty on human rights.  Was watching something tonight that said small countries are exploited and eaten up by big countries – which is exactly what is happening in New Zealand.  Why I have ended up in the darklands rotting on welfare, terrorised and ostracized is not how I expected my life to end!

I don’t understand, I never hurt anybody, they hurt me, I don’t understand how can the police allow ACC and others to break the law and yet terrorise me with it???  I don’t understand I have never done anything to any of them or their families and yet they terrorise me and try to drive me to suicide WHEN I PROTEST ABOUT ABUSIVE MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES AND NEO-LIBERAL TERRORISM??????  There is not one person I talk to who doesn’t agree with my protests about abusive mental health services – NOT ONE ON EITHER SIDE OF THE POLITICAL SPECTRUM.  So how come the police, MOJ, ACC and others are doing what they are to me????  The only explanation is govt corruption in ACC, they budgeted for mentally injured victims of crime to receive only six months rehabilitation and none of the necessities of life, like safety, housing and food security.  There is no democracy in NEw Zealand because there is no adherence to word of law, our constitution and signed UN treaties.

Everybody in my region hates mental health services, everybody knows how bad they are, everybody – even the people who work in them.  Most of the people who work in mental health are the ones who can’t get a job anywhere else and are power tripping, issue ridden, nut jobs!!!!!!!   That’s why I can’t deal with any of them, they aren’t taught the law or what a mental health professional knows – they’re just taught to hand out the meds and DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING – UNLESS OF COURSE YOU ARE A THEIVING ABUSIVE LYING ADDICT MENTALLY ILL PERSON – then they can’t do enough to help you.  !!!!  Especially find you housing with a more vulnerable decent disabled suicidal victim of crime that will hopefully look after you, so they don’t have to.

I’ve noticed lately how people in the police/justice system and the police/lawyers etc treat each other like they’re mates.   They take on these roles and many criminals are as polite and decent about being caught for doing bad shit to other people – as the police are at treating them, if they like them.  AND THEY DON’T LIKE ME ONE BIT – I heard similar disdain and ignorance from my brother recently when he found out how unwell I was – DEEP SEATED HATRED he couldn’t cover up.   Like I was doing something to hurt him by JUSTIFABLY FEELING THE WAY I DO and wanting to kill myself – that’s how police treat it as well.   LIke I am doing something to hurt them or the government.  My brother seldom visits (and my nieces and sister in law never do) and has always treated me with disdain since I wasn’t able to work after the rape.

Police and government hate you because you don’t look good on the global statistics.

Can’t stop crying – past couple of days been really weird since I got back from visiting family – it usually is really bad because the difference in how much food I have to eat etc is so different.

Now I’m remembering an argument I had with my mum first day there where she told me to get over being raped it was 17 years ago and the reason I was raped and poor is because I left my ex-partner and shouldn’t have.   Going away to stay with family is a horrendous nightmare in this neo-liberal hell hole – ANOMIE at its best.    It isn’t a matter of GETTING OVER THE RAPE – which even the judge continuously reminds me of – the initial trauma was just that, the catalyst.  Its what happened after that ensured I am the worthless piece of garbage I am today.  Complex PTSD doesn’t develop from one trauma, it develops from many overwhelming traumas and inhuman living situations over many years – OVERWHELMING TRAUMAS with no opportunity to heal somewhere safe and with enough money to live with dignity.

Of course our corrupt government have made family and friends the people who supposed to support HUMAN SEWAGE like me – supposed to buy us houses to live in, supposed to provide us professional mental health care, supposed to provide us regular food and necessities of life.    THAT IS DARK AGES TYPE STUFF – PRIOR TO MAGNA CARTA – that is not civil society and not western society either.    Its neo-liberal terrorism and more a case of class, us peasants supposed to look after ourselves while wealthy elites decide on what health care we get, if we get to live in a house, if we have to beg for food, etc etc.

There must be so many disabled suicidal victims of crime around New Zealand being treated as badly as I am.  I have met a few in my protesting, but I wonder how many there really are.  I am sure we are all given the same corrupt treatment.  I will have to write out that last psych report to show you JUST HOW BAD/unprofessional/corrupt the heads of our ‘forensic’ mental health system are.  Also how corrupt Medical Council are, who refusing to address my valid complaints of violating their rules for doing an independent psychiatric report for the courts.

Anyway, I’ve come back and my heart is smashed to pieces and I don’t want to live and my eating is out of control and everything I read and see reminds me of just how bad and hard my situation is and just how good and easy majority of people have it.  Especially those making sure my environment is inhuman, while there’s is obscene extravagance.

I can’t do this, its too hard, other people have people who care for them and fight for them – I’m so worthless I have nobody.  All those people who tell me in the street that my protests are good, where are they????

Wairarapa Police check out welfare visit by Whakatane police tonight!!!!

My own fkn bitch of a sister and brother I never see not only phone my daughter and upset her with my facebook posts – they send the fkn Whakatane police around to terrorise me – don’t phone me themselves – THEY SEND THE FKN POLICE.  I’m sure you bigots in Masterton police will be loving it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   That’s what you want isn’t it, for my family to turn against me and get me locked up and drugged up aye!!!!!

My family not allowed to friend me on fb, not that they have ever tried, they like to stay well away from worthless garbage like me – all National party supporters do!   I’ve blocked them from looking now – fkn bitch!!!!!  My family all fb friends with each other – I don’t go under my real name because my mother told me she didn’t want the family name involved in what I do.  My fkn bitch of a sister doesn’t like it I am with my mum at the moment, so the psycho cow will do anything to cause shit – ANYTHING!!!!  That bitch hates me and always has!

Cause what police doing to me in order to oppress me, psychologically torture me, keep me poor and stop me from getting ACC care I am entitled to under law makes me terrified of all police, all uniforms and all police cars  and MAKES ME UNWELL in social situations.   You know it and you love it don’t you  Const Selena ??? and Sgt Matt Wailling.   The NICE police officer I met tonight was upset by what I told him what you were all doing to me for LEGALLY AND NON-VIOLENTLY PROTESTING ABOUT BEING DENIED HEALTH CARE.  Where I target those in power doing the harm and get triggered by ignorant bigots in the community!!!!

You know – those people I make complaints about of criminal negligence under Sections 150A and 151 of the Crimes Act.  THE LAW – but neo-liberal murderers don’t follow RULE OF LAW or democracy – DO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My fkn bitch of a sister I HAVE BARELY TALKED TO FOR YEARS, at Xmas she started an argument day before my birthday, just so her and the kids didn’t have to come to my birthday dinner.  Her daughter and son – who I get on with very well – didn’t know what to do.  I went out with my mum, aunty and a friend, while her, her husband and the kids stayed home.  It was very upsetting.   That just a long line in revolting bitchy things she has done.

My brother, who just been to Japan for some BS trip, never visits me and I live 45 mins away.   He been to my place about three times in five years and never brings his stuck up rich brat wife.   I never allowed to look after my nieces (their kids) have them stay the weekend, hang out with my kids when they all younger.  They used to come for weekends away at a local resort motel in Masterton – they never ever came to visit me.

These are the people phoning my daughter who is 24 and got lots of her own stuff going on – I dont’ tell her how bad I feel to protect her.  There is nothing she can do, she can’t buy me somewhere safe to live or make ACC provide me services, or stop police from assaulting me and using the justice system to terrorise me IN ORDER TO DRIVE ME TO SUICIDE.   Where I live is No1 in OECD for women self-harming.

Jacinda Ardern must be telling facebook what to say to human sewage like me – to us filthy peasants who being denied basic human needs to safety, shelter, food security, decent jobs, health care, etc.   Grrrrr so fkn angry right now.