Tag Archives: suicide prevention

Check out discussion on my Youtube video, it explains lots

Link at below

You havn’t been listening to me – you are obsessed with this idea that we are individuals and don’t need other people – which is grossly untrue.  I’ve met three GOOD health professionals in 17 years, all of them were completely committed to supporting the person to heal in the way they needed to.  That is what Occupational Therapy is all about.  And I will again say THERE IS NO HEALING WHILE THE PERSON IS LIVING IN FEAR WITHOUT THE BASIC NECESSITIES OF LIFE LIKE SHELTER AND FOOD SECURITY.  Which currently is 20% of the NZ population 1 million people – mostly women and youth.   Gee and NZ has highest OECD stats in youth suicide and women self-harming – go figure.

Also, what might apply to a man DOES NOT APPLY TO A WOMAN, especially in the domain of trauma.  Men have to be self-reliant in more ways, although they still need ‘brothers’ – women are different we are NATURALLY reliant on men for safety and others for talking our problems through.  I don’t have a man for protection and my female friends are themselves so traumatised they can’t handle me talking about my fear of police and compulsory incarceration under mental health act FOR TELLING THE FKN TRUTH AND ASKING FOR HEALTH CARE I AM ENTITLED TO.

Mental health workers are bunch of self-righteous power tripping either psychopaths or co-dependents – mostly idiot Christians and deeply depressed people with revolting personalities that nobody would be friends with so they get into that line of work for the ego boost.  That is why I have so many problems with mental health services who genuinely HATE me and discredit me in the community cause I criticise them for making my region No 1 in NZ for suicide.  I’m intelligent, I understand my disorder, I know the law and rehab, I know how they are supposed to behave and when they do it wrong, I know the science, I know politics.  I can see straight through an abuser or a co-dependent CLINGON.

I agree with your sentiment but you’re just not understanding what we are both suggesting is essentially the same thing, I just know more of the jargon.  I studied Health 101 and rehab at Massey University for a year by correspondence.   When told to read a chapter I read the book plus I got out every book I could on trauma and studied that far beyond 1st year level.  I learnt their jargon, I learnt their models – that’s where I discovered Mason Durie and Whare Tapa Wha.   I become highly suicidal at the end and could not continue my area of study – BECAUSE I KNEW THEY WERE NOT APPLYING ANY OF THESE THINGS IN THE AREA OF HEALTH FOR MENTALLY INJURED ABUSE/TRAUMA/NEGLECT VICTIMS – it made me more unwell knowing this.  Although the jargon I learnt taught me how to interact with them using their language and proves without doubt in the area of Complex PTSD they are persecuting people purposely – we are the new Jew.

Was researching new Suicide Prevention maggot in Wairarapa, he has made completely inaccurate statements for years that mentally ill people are not violent or dangerous – WTF.   One of the symptoms of Complex PTSD is violence according to all scientific literature I have ever read!!!  Govt and police and MH know it as well.  They study same books/information I do.  This ignorant bigot started his new job by putting even more propaganda in the local free newspaper and other media – the same organisations that dont’ work for 80% of us because they are filled with issue ridden psychopaths and co-dependents, as I said before.  Combine that with the regular meetings they all have with mayors, local ‘social’ business leaders, MH services and police of course – so they all think the same BS – and I know my name comes up regularly.

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RNZ News – A distraught desperate despairing letter to Radio NZ

rom: Jayne R
Sent: Saturday, 14 September 2019 1:44 PM
To: rnz@radionz.co.nz <rnz@radionz.co.nz>
Subject: How many other things do our media cover up???

I know you cover up neo-liberalism and the damage it is doing, you cover up the housing market failure that is driving suicide, violence, crime and the destruction of our society, you cover up why so many people are suicidal but whine on with the same BS that people just need to talk to someone and a social worker will fix it, you cover up what is happening to me for years.
Nobody trusts what NZ media say any more, you are bias and manipulate it out of greed and elitism.  I have just had a discussion with my brother that ended in him telling me if my life was so difficult then I should end it permanently.   That’s what middle class and rich do to any of their family who end up in the darklands of this hell hole due to corruption in ACC, justice govt etc.
Yesterday I went to see my 25 yr old daughter for a coffee – I don’t see her very often, it hurts to much and too difficult, her partner and her have just built a house, they both work and she just got a $6,000 bonus from working at Powershop.  Apparently they made the biggest profit in their history – now I see the news item below and find out they are also a big greenhouse gas polluter.   My daughter throws food out, I barely have enough decent food to eat each week.

The media in New Zealand are destroying our society, you have got to stop lying to people, you have got to stop avoiding the serious issues and telling us about road accidents and how good the odd poor or disabled person is doing.  You are killing us, we are in a state of ANOMIE now, reading the front page of the Wairarapa Times-Age and its like you have all gone COMPLETELY INSANE.   A charity run by a foreigner who wants us to be like the UK – not like NZ – wealthy LABOUR ASSOCIATED local elites who run Trust House, profiting from market rents of state housing they were almost gifted, highest rate of pokie use in NZ and exploiting alcoholics through their pubs etc.

Then going on how the HIGHEST EVER PROFIT and ‘return to the community’ is PROOF they are fulfilling their purpose of ‘community wellbeing’.  THAT IS INSANE WHEN IT IS WELL KNOW WE HAVE THE HIGHEST RATE OF SUICIDE AND SELF-HARM IN NEW ZEALAND, highest rates of people being prescribed psychotropic drugs (to cope with how dysfunctional our society is), highest rate of compulsory treatments orders (because wealthy health elites demand people who are suffering are drugged up).

You’ve made a pact to talk about environmental issues you were avoiding before – what about a pact to talk about economic, human rights and constitutional issues that you are currently avoiding.   You are in denial and believing your own propaganda – IT IS NOT TRUE.

I emailed you earlier about my situation of being in court for a crime of writing a poem about a criminal who works for Bell Gully and Compass Health to stop poor people getting health care by underfunding – so there are more resources for rich people with private health insurance.   I know the man is a murderer, I know what he does and yet you do nothing to expose him.   You do nothing about local MPs in government who have done nothing to alleviate the suffering of disabled poor people – especially abuse victims in Wairarapa – is that because all our MPs are men, who think sexually assaulting, raping, hitting and neglecting women to the point of suicide IS A WAY OF CREATING JOBS FOR PEOPLE WHO DONT’ HAVE THOSE ISSUES???????????????

I will be putting this email on my website, just to show people what the media know and don’t say anything about.    I am intelligent, don’t have a personality disorder and am not delusional and yet two psych assessments (that were only done because I couldn’t get legal aid and was not well enough to represent myself) say I am completely insane and should be locked up under a compulsory treatment order FOR PROTESTING ABOUT HOW BAD MENTAL HEALTH SERVCIES ARE AND HOW OUR GOVERNMENT DEPRIVE DISABLED PEOPLE OF THE SAFE STABLE CULTURALLY APPROPRAITE HOUSING THEY ARE ENTITLED TO UNDER ACC AND OTHER LAWS.

You are the media, if you don’t tell us peasants the truth then we are going to continue to suffer and die.   As you make it worse and worse, the more lies you are telling, the bias, the ignorance, the trivialising of EXTREMELY SERIOUS issues that are destroying us.   Media are the ones who made us No 1 in the OECD for youth suicide, domestic/flatmate violence, self-harm, eating disorders and homelessness – YOU ALL DID IT – YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE.  I bet that is why Greg Boyed killed himself, he couldn’t take what he was doing any longer, he was a good person.

Why – why – why – why do you want suffering violence pollution and death – it is your friends and family who will be affected as well.   Mostly the violence etc is in the darklands, but it will affect more and more of the middle class and rich – NO MATTER HOW MANY POLICE YOU EMPLOY.   Those young cops aren’t going to be sticking at it for long – you are traumatising them as well – especially with suicides.  You have allowed the government to create this neo-liberal nightmare and you refuse to do anything to stop it.  There are solutions to this but nobody will act with any leadership or strength to change things for the better – YOU ARE INSANE, THE GOVERNMENT ARE INSANE, BIG BUSINESS ARE INSANE, OUR LEGISLATURE, EXECUTIVE AND JUDICIARY ARE ALL INSANE.  So much of what I see is illegal – but nobody challenges it in court or will even discuss it in public.   No we’re having a big meeting and discussion about more cancer funding…..   groan.

You leave me both enraged and in deep despair, why are you doing this to us – what did any of us ever do to you.   Check out some of my solutions (on this website) – ALL BASED ON PROFESSIONAL HEALTH MODELS, also my posts about Regional Rehab Centres and Regional Mental Health facilities.  Making sure everybody is working and participating – human garbage like me doesn’t get to participate I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY!!!!!!  NONE LEFT, NOT FOR A $5 COFFEE.  That’s why so  many shops in Carterton are struggling, their incomes getting less and less because NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE HAVE ENOUGH MONEY and the rich can’t spend it fast enough.   Landlords, banks and government has it all.

https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/world/398763/climate-change-electrical-industry-s-dirty-secret-boosts-warming

New Zealand governments suicide prevention strategy blames the community for neo-liberal failure

I will remind people MIKE KING has no qualifications WHATSOEVER.  I have had personal experience of this mentally ill narcistic abusive psychopath, when he first got into the SUICIDE INDUSTRY and more recently where I was not allowed to be part of some marketing idea him and Kyle had.  I have been protesting for years more than him and knew far more than him and his mate Kyle McDonald – who both emotionally and financially profit from what they do.  They cater to a small group of suicidal people, not the majority – they particularly love addicts/junkies and middle class/rich people because of their own unresolved issues and elitism.

These ideas the government are suggesting are nothing more than propaganda, they are not going to address the suicide issue, they require people to be terrorised and suicidal so they can create more jobs and profits for charities/not-for-profits and businesses.   Blaming the community for the nightmare of hell they have created, demanding the community (which doesn’t exist in a neo-liberal society according to Margaret Thatcher) deal with suicidal people – WTF.   This idea DOES NOT WORK, PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO, JUST TALKING WITH SOMEONE DOESN’T HELP if they dont’ have the necessities of life required to be provided by our government.

What an insult to the families and friends of suicidal people, if they knew what to do then the person they cared about would be dead or suicidal.  The complete ridiculousness of King’s statements show he is not very educated or intelligent.

It is delusional to think charities and not for profits are not profiting from this suffering.  Many of these charities pay their staff – often VERY GOOD SALARIES and have cultures of extravagance way beyond what those they ‘support’ would know.  KidsCan is reknown for it.  The neo-liberal/Libertarian utopia demands charities pay for those the government once cared for – govt who have the legal responsibility under international treaties and NZ constitutional laws to care for.  Mike King is one of those people.

I have had dealings with some of these suicide organisations and all they do is tell people to get over it and they are loved – which means absolutely nothing.  Love is a verb not a noun.

Also remember Mike King has been at the forefront of youth suicide for over a decade AND NEW ZEALAND HAS THE HIGHEST RATE OF YOUTH SUICIDE IN THE OECD!!!!   If Mike King was successful in his ideas then I would be completely supportive of what he is suggesting and supporting – BUT HE HAS BEEN A WORLD LEADING FAILURE AT IT!!!!!!!!!   Then of course there is the recent breakdown he had over the numbers of people calling him wanting to commit suicide since he was made NZer of the year for services to youth suicide.   THE MAN CAN’T HANDLE IT, he is only doing this for the publicity, that’s why he was a comedian and performer, for the attention, he even admits it in interviews.

As for people like me being involved in developing services that work – THAT WILL NEVER EVER HAPPEN – as I know from my 17 years of making submissions to parliament about dozens of laws/commissions etc, about what was necessary to bring down suicide rates.   The government will choose those suggestions that are in line with their neo-liberal and other political beliefs and of course their budgets.   Professional health models will not come into it and making sure one of the most important group of suicidal people – victims of violent crime (domestic violence) get all the entitlements required under ACC law.

NOTE to employers who fund ACC, unemployed adults/children are paid for out of general taxation.  However you are being shafted after decades ago the NZ government covertly and corruptly made victims of crime who work your financial responsibility.  They also made people who had sports injuries your responsibility as well (not counting professional sports people).  Both of these groups should be under general taxation.

AND GENERAL TAXATION TO THE RICHEST PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY MUST BE REINSTATED TO PREVIOUS LEVELS IN ORDER TO FUND THIS!   Not only have these wealthy elitist globalists had massive general taxation tax cuts, they have also had family wealth taxes removed in order for families to acquire more money and resources.

It is well known to me people with mental health issues are the biggest target for persecution by neo-liberals in our government.  We are the 21st century Jew – except of course NAZI persecuted disabled people, women they raped and homeless gypsy more than Jews.   If Jews were perceived as the rich in Germany now the rich, gays and people with dark brown coloured skin are united in harming people like me.   I attended the meetings prior to Human Rights report from NZ to the UN – in a meeting of around 50 people held at Victoria University, 48 of them were there about human rights abuses of people with mental health issues.

Again, that is why I am being terrorised by the police and denied ACC care I am entitled to after winning two ACC reviews NINE YEARS AGO.  Jacinda knows this, Labour party knows this, NZ First knows this and so do the Greens.

These low level services are going to tell people there is hope for the future and they are valued – there is no hope for 20% of the population in any neo-liberal controlled society and they are definitely not valued for talent or skill.

https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/new-zealand/2019/09/government-s-suicide-prevention-strategy-shifts-responsibility-onto-everyone-to-do-better-mike-king.html

Maori Council slams Governments suicide plan – racist media incite hate!

This is the insanity we have to live with in New Zealand media inciting racial hatred and division.

There are 100s reasons why the government’s suicide plan is an unprofessional, corrupted, criminally negligent, abusive, illegal experimental, propaganda/marketing, neo-liberal abomination – but it has absolutely nothing to do with race WHATSOEVER.

It has everything to do with the PROVEN SCIENTIFIC FACT that privatisation of mental health services into the hands of contractors leads to people with the most need being rejected and those with the least being overly supported/resourced.

What Jacinda Ardern, Labour Party, ACC, mental health, DHB, police, justice etc are currently doing to me through the courts proves without doubt the government do not intend for people with Complex PTSD  to have the professional treatment care, rehabilitation and safe stable homes (shelter and food security) they are entitled to if they are mentally injured by sexual and physical violence (or overwhelming trauma) and cannot work.  These people are the most significant part of those who are suicidal and not coping in our neo-liberal extremist society.

Years of neo-liberal controlled governments have not deviated from the same corrupt, inhuman, illegal, unconstitutional behaviour.  Making everything into an opportunity for someone to profit personally from a business has been a failure when applied to basic human needs as outlined in Maslows Heirachy of Needs.  When applied to safety, housing and food security – our most basic needs.

My current wealthy lawyer laughed at me when I said I was being denied the necessities of life.  If I had the necessities of life I wouldn’t be suicidal, self-harming, etc and ROTTING ON WELFARE.   If you consider the evolution of humans I cannot think of another time in human history where a person would have where they live (a private rental) constantly threatened to be taken away, every three months.  Where people could not live in peace – which is a significant part of the Magna Carta and why we have fkn laws and govt.

I have no feeling of safety because of the police violence and my complaints being rejected.  I don’t have a man to protect me from other males violence.  I never used to get scared if I heard noises outside when it was dark, now I freeze for a few seconds listening and waiting for a knock on the door and police coming to get me to hurt me again – physically and psychologically.  I am also terrified of the large numbers of mentally ill people who I have been forced to live with who exploit and terrorise people like myself, mostly not on purpose.  It is difficult not to be terrorised by someone who attempts suicide.

I have no shelter or food security, every day, every week, every month, every year, every decade I am forced to live with the knowledge I could be given six weeks notice from MY HOME and be homeless (as there are no state houses in Carterton I would also be driven from where I belong).   I am forced to live with the knowledge that I have so little food and almost every dollar I am given has to go to food, therefore depriving me of other basic cultural rights.

The basic right to go to funerals, attend family events, participate in cultural events, go to a doctor when everybody else can, receive health care other people do, get justice (if I had money I would have paid a lawyer to get my ACC care back and sue them years ago), have a pet, have a job, etc.

Here is the news item that inspired this post.  You should also refer to Chris Hedges interview with Matt Taibbli and other ones about how media incite violence to create profits.

Hi Selena – how’s your day going – you can withdraw from this and say you were being bullied into it you know.   I saw how that Sgt was with you, I know how the decent officers feel about me being terrorised through the police and court system rather than getting the ACC care I’m supposed to have.

https://www.newsroom.co.nz/2019/09/11/800044/mori-council-slams-governments-suicide-plan

 

Wairarapa Real Estate industry & local govt trying to violate my FREEDOM OF SPEECH – AHHHH NAH

Was warned by someone there is a meeting today in Carterton demanded by local real estate agents – particularly Harcourts – with Mayor John Booth and the Carterton District Council.  Here is my email response to various people and I’m putting this on my website TO PROTECT MYSELF.  Please read and contact Mayor John Booth  NZ 06 379 4030 or any member of the council about it, contact your MP about it as well.  Everybody is fine to protect fascists when their freedom of speech is violated – so I need the arts and legal community to protect me.

The more people who know what is happening the safer I am, wonder if my landlord been put under any pressure to evict me yet?   They were here yesterday doing some work, everything seemed OK, but you can’t trust anybody in this neo-liberal terrorist heart of New Zealand.   I only live a few kms from the VERY CENTRE of New Zealand – middle earth.  And I can assure you I am Frodo and this is a fight for our humanity – yipes.


From: JR
Sent: Thursday, 30 May 2019 10:06 AM
To: news TVNZ; Breakfast TVNZ; theprojectnz@mediaworks.co.nz; am@amandamillar.co.nz; radiomediaworks@gmail.com; tdbadvertising@gmail.com; contact@9news.com.au
Subject: URGENT – Freedom of speech and expression for suicidal victims of crime in New Zealand – YEAH RIGHT! – AHHHHH NAH!

Freedom of speech and expression – YEAH RIGHT!
Attention The Rock Suicide Jockeys
Attention Martyn Bradbury
Attention Jack Tame
Attention all the nice presenters who don’t know what is going on in the darklands beyond the cliff face.

From: JR
Sent: Thursday, 30 May 2019 9:37 AM
To: Iain Lees-Galloway MP; golriz.ghahraman@parliament.govt.nz; Andrew Little; Jacinda Ardern MP; kieran.mcanulty@parliament.govt.nz; alastair.scott@parliament.govt.nz; ron.mark@parliament.govt.nz; Ann Rice; Petitions OHCHR; United Nations Association of New Zealand; Bryce Edwards; submissions@theintercept.com; submissions@truthdig.com
Subject: URGENT for you information – so none of you can say you didn’t know what was going on


From:JR
Sent: Thursday, 30 May 2019 9:31 AM
To: HANSEN, Jennifer
Subject: URGENT for you information

You had better be prepared to protect me from what is happening with Mayor John Book, Carterton Council and their illegal secret consultations with local Real Estate businesses.  You are most welcome to be there to mediate and record the meeting as well, in fact it would be a very good idea for you to be there.  Groan
Seems my latest works of art are causing a real stir in the community – and yes I am being told by people who agree with what I say to tone the rage down a bit – after the years of persecution and my resulting disability it is very difficult – I can assure you I am trying.  It would be extremely helpful if I had my ACC care reinstated as required by law and the $10,000 ACC are withholding from me.
Also why would Harcourts be coming to Carterton to have a meeting?  They don’t have an office in Carterton and I havn’t been anywhere near them. I used to work for Harcourts back in the days of Mary & Pat Mahoney, so this meeting should and could be very interesting and very helpful to you and me.
Please contact me 027 3040120 if you are any part of this??? Please remember Westminister Statute the 1st – common right be done to all rich as poor and Magna Carta and my rights to freedom of speech and expression.  Police aren’t there to keep NZ safe – that is neo-liberal corruption – the police are there to keep the peace between rich and poor – AS PEACEKEEPERS not soldier.
Sincerely
JR
Civil Society Actor

From: JR
Sent: Thursday, 30 May 2019 9:16 AM
To: info@cdc.govt.nz
Subject: Mayor John Booth URGENT – MEETING BETWEEN YOU AND REAL ESTATE IS ILLEGAL – VIOLATION OF NZ CONSTITUTIONAL LAWS

Dear John,
I have been told you are getting extreme pressure from Real Estate Agents in Wairarapa to DO SOMETHING ABOUT MY LEGAL PUBLIC PROTESTS in order to violate my freedom of speech and expression.
YOU NEED TO CANCEL THAT MEETING – it is illegal for you to co-operate with these rich people when you refuse to co-operate with a poor person like myself, especially an artist and Civil Society Actor as defined by the United Nations.
You are the government, if those Real Estate Agents want to do graffiti art and marketing on the streets with their views on those things that incite HATE in our community then they are most welcome to.  It is the law that you keep the peace between rich and poor, IT IS ILLEGAL TO ADVANCE THE RICH AND PERSECUTE THE POOR.
If you want to continue with the meeting you need to contact me and see when I am available to also attend.  The meeting will need to be recorded for my safety and legal purposes.  I will be advising the Minister for Local Government of the meeting and what is happening, again for my protection and legal purposes.
You are putting me through all of this just so ACC doesn’t have to reinstate my health care after winning two ACC reviews nine years ago – BECAUSE I AM A DISABLED MENTALLY INJURED VICTIM OF CRIME and criminal negligence and don’t have the necessaries of life I am entitled to under CURRENT NZ LAWS and UN signed ratified international treaties.  Wow, you people have completely lost the plot, abuses of power will do that to pretty much any person.
Sincerely
JR
Civil Society Actor
HUMAN SEWAGE

2nd night in Wellington police cells in New Zealand

Been avoiding writing this, don’t want to recall what happened it hurts too much, but I know I have to, then I won’t have to look at it again if I don’t want to – better out than in.

My arrest and night in Wellington police cells was going fine until the last three hours, then it all turned to shit because I was transported in a very cold NEW van into cold court cell, further delays and an arsehole guard looking after me.  People with stress disorders (in stressful situations) must be treated the same as people in shock, first thing you do is keep them warm, being cold adds to trauma/stress.  That is what should be on my court transfer papers not that I make vague threats of self-harm – WTF.  The design of that NEW transport staff were gloating about is absolute crap and harmful to those inside the boxes.

Start from the beginning

As I didn’t turn up for court on Monday, as I had been turned down by the OT for health services and still didn’t have a lawyer I knew there would be a warrant out for my arrest.  Chickened out doing a protest in Masterton so I would get arrested, too scared of police here.  Went over to Wellington chalking and then started on my mission.

Headed for Supreme Court to do some chalking about justice and how I completely blamed the judiciary for discrimination against mentally ill people and allowing government to criminalise and persecute them, deny them professional health care.  Then headed up to Treasury building and left a message for Treasury wankers – photos on my facebook page.  Held them to account for the appalling mental health stats as well – did a few swastikas and called them murderers as well – I know they hate it.  Then headed for Human Rights Commission, from which I am trespassed.

Nutted off at this old guy in reception and a group of people having a meeting about some bullshit.  I was in total fire breathing dragon mode, told them exactly what I thought of them and their responsibility for mental health crisis, suicide, NZ being No 1 for child suicide, self-harm in women and family violence.  Left before police arrived heading for my next target – didn’t make it 🙂

Have photos on my facebook page /jrmurphypoetmusician did a couple of videos of the chalking a few photos at the Human Rights Commission.  Its like lala land up there, those people are completely out of touch with reality and refusing to accept the seriousness of what has gone on in mental health due to an economic theory taking over from constitutional, health and justice rights.

Was arrested on Lambton Quay with my large naked torso painting a couple of cardboard signs and my big over shoulder satchel with chalk pens paper etc in it.  Was funny knowing they were coming, saw them to my left, I was heading towards Willis Street across from Midland Park.  They put on their lights, quickly did a u turn and jumped out of their car to aprehend me lol.  Told them to calm down I knew I was going to be arrested, that’s why I had come to Wellington – strange to them of course.  I was picked up on warrant for breach of bail for not attending court.  Not for nutting off at the dick head at the HRC and breaching a trespass order.  WAs prepared for it to happen though.

Tried to talk them out of handcuffs but couldn’t, managed to get them put on in front of me which is so much less oppressive/scary/vulnerable than behind your back.  She also did it really loosely on my right wrist cause told her I get arthritis in it.

Male officer told me handcuffs were for theirs and my safety – lol – brainwashed.  Not in my situation they’re not – its one thing I hope the UN can look at having a restriction on police using handcuffs, particularly in a public place.  They were OK, just following the book and treating me like any criminal who had a warrant out for their arrest.

Got back to the station and got processed, almost everybody was nice, were surprised to see me back.  The woman I had a run in with last time came and talked to me a few times, said she was pretty stressed with work etc last time I was there and sort of apologised, we made peace – that’s the main thing.

Didn’t sleep all night but was able to read a book, which I couldn’t last time because my stress levels were too high.  I can’t hold the story in my head when very stressed, even this time there were a few times I had to re-read paragraphs because I hadn’t absorbed what I just read.  Its a horrible part of Complex PTSD and a lot of people don’t understand it, can make you feel really stupid and like you going mad.  I worked out over years, it comes and goes depending on my stress levels.

I was OK with going through the police process I had gone over it in my head many times.  Had all the same guards as last time just in a different order, they were really cheerful and nice.  Told them I was in a much better state than last time and just wanted to get through the process and get things sorted out.  Last time I was self-harming and really distressed, this time I was really chilled out.

Had a guy come into the cells about 6pm who banged and yelled most of the night, then started up again in the morning – when I get stressed too, cause you don’t know what time is and all the guards disappear to organise transfers etc.  Handover is at around 7am.  So in the morning he sets off sprinkler in his cell and flooded something else by the sounds of it, lol, all the male prisoners were put in the female section – was weird seeing the guys – cause you never do.  They have it set up so people can’t see each other – I’m all good with that, few of them looked dodgy as.  They handcuffed him and put him in the Female Day cell that I can see from my special window/mental health cell.  Gave him the thumbs up for what he’d done, I was bored too.

As 11pm shift came on I asked if I could go in the bigger cell to prepare myself for going in the van in the morning, like I had spoken to Stuart about – when I made a comment about my first visit and how they could improve it.  He was a pommy guy with a bald head, manipulative power tripper.  So a group of them are outside my cell and he makes a comment about me being a Human Rights activist in a mocking tone then tells me he will think about the change of cell and tell me in the morning – he didn’t.  I worried about it all night, because had a bad feeling I would have a meltdown in the morning – which I did and are really horrible.  He purposely denied my request and kept me guessing to exert his authority and disempower me – and it would have had even more impact if I didn’t understand psychology of abusive power relationships.  so I’ll be making a complaint to police about it.  That is the sort of person who SHOULD NEVER BE in a position of power over others.

Got to have a shower at around 4.30am and had an early breakfast, 3 weetbix milk sugar & a milo.  Should have asked for something to take with me, didn’t realise how long it would be until I had food again – and I have diabetes issues if I don’t eat reguarly – especially having been up all night, when your body needs extra food.  I learnt that years ago, if you want to stay up all night at a party you have to keep eating throughout the night, its your body running out of fuel that makes you tired.

Reluctant to get in the van in the morning, they just turn up to take you, it freaks you out, I need to know what is going to happen to mentally prepare – fuck them!!!!

Van to Lower Hutt was really cold, 2 metal boxes in back of a van, 4 men sitting close together in one side and 2 women in the other.  First time I’ve had someone to talk to during transport, she was a regular visitor, knew the system well, but we avoided why we there.

We change to the NEW truck for trip over Rimutakas, it has about 10 metal boxes with individual windows – the staff were gloating that it belonged to Wairarapa and Hutt were jealous they didn’t have anything that flash.  Obviously they  have never spent any time in the back – I have got to get something done about the design or they going to have lots more people flipping out like me.

I refused to get in this van, he had to take my arm, but I did’nt resist past that, these metal boxes are only as big as your body and solid except for small windows.  Killer on your back, when you get jolted over bumps, there no padding its just a stainless steel bench about 1m square – FREEZING COLD AGAIN.  Not only cold thick metal there was a blast of cool air blowing down from directly above that you couldn’t get away from, it either went on top of your head or if you sat hard up against back it went onto your body and legs, which felt even colder.

Someone yelled out to guards to turn the fans off at about Upper Hutt, guards told him they were for ventilation, I chimed in that I wanted them off too, I was fkn freezing.

I got colder and colder – sooooo bad for my stress disorder – people under extreme stress are supposed to be kept warm.  Got angrier and angrier too.  When I got to Masterton refused to move – couldn’t move – I don’t know, but didn’t get out of van for about 5mins – they didn’t know what to do.  When I finally did because I thought they were going to get more physical two women were standing at end of truck.  I angrily asked WHAT ARE YOU – they were detectives, one of them said how she had heard about me in a nice enough voice –  I have got lots of supporters in the police – my response as I went past was a vicious GET FUCKED.  Was angry at the police for putting me through this shit, through all of this shit letting ACC manipulate them and refusing to investigate my complaints about them.

Was put in women’s holding cell at Masterton Court – it was fkn freezing as well, blasting cool air and a vent that went directly outside I could see through.  We had arrived about 10.30am from what I can gather, I wasn’t feeling very well coming over but was so fkn angry ignored it.  Got there was so cold put x2 on my ReFuSe tag I left two weeks ago.  They wouldn’t give me my shoes, eventually they gave me a museli bar at around 12pm – I had breakfast at 5am – they were told I had diabetes issues, it should be on my transfer notes I have to be offered food at regular intervals, they know the time I don’t – WTF.  Grrrr  That’s what those notes are fucking for – not a pile of disgusting offensive bigotry.

I sang Why Am I Arrested, Human Sewage and I wish I was dead with all loud drumming required on the walls – which went through the whole building I now know tehehehehe.  Some young people in other cells made comment about me ‘that protester’, also came to look at me through the window when one of them was wandering around.  Said something about me being Crazy – not me the crazy one dumarse – sometimes young people grrrrrrrr.

After singing revolting old white guy guard came to tell me I was embarrassing myself – trying to degrade me – oppressive and wanting to make me feel even more marginalised.  Again, lucky I know these sorts of tactics and can shake off most of their shit – but always a bit that sticks and makes you feel like shit.  Those are the comments that go on a loop in your head when you sink down into the well/darkness and consider all the good reasons you should kill youself.  I’m sure I’ll have to deal with that in the next few weeks – I’m sure there will be fallout from Thursday’s meltdown.

Then the arsehole said I was up next, ie first after lunch,  They called out 4 names before I STARTED LOOPING OUT – I was so distressed and so cold started losing it, started ticking by banging my whole body back against the door making a really loud noise, felt sooo good, calms me, its like a heartbeat and because its so violent on your whole body you can’t think of the anything else and it calms down the ‘panic attack’ you about to have – that happened later when outside.  Telling someone something is going to happen and then it not happening is another psychological torture method and what the guard in Wellington did.  An abuse and perversion of power – it is very common but should not be tolerated in people working in police etc. (Have found out since guards were pissed off with delays too, it was court staff who delayed my appearance – same court staff I gave shit to recently for not providing CCTV footage.)

Guard came along trying to get me to stop, turned the fan on full blast so I was even colder, turned the light on and off several times.  I was freaking out because of what had been happening and him lying to me, then he didn’t know what to do when I started freaking out more than he expected and the judge knows about it, cause the whole building can hear me.  If I’m causing that much fuss, then he has failed his job and EVERYBODY knows it.

I knew bus back to Carterton was at 1pm and it was 12, I got out at 1pm, with no time to walk to the bus stop 10 mins away.

My old public defence lawyer Susie turned up, which was a welcome sight as I was in full freak out mode pacing around the cell.  She spoke to the judge when i was up, told judge not-guilty and case now set down for 25 June.  They kept saying the police don’t oppose bail – because this is the third time I havn’t turned up for court and violated my bail conditions.  Of course police don’t oppose bail – that might be a bit much considering they put me here – they wouldn’t want to be reminded of what they have done grrrrrrr.  Police prosecutor in court looked ashamed, wouldn’t look at me.

After Susie spoke I made sure I had my say, without following any rules – except trying not to swear, it was pretty obvious I was really pissed off and really freaked out.  Not many people get to address the judge like I do but there was NO WAY I was leaving that courtroom without her knowing about Geneva Healthcare refusing me OT services and still not having a lawyer – which Susie told her anyway.  It was Judge Morris, I Know her and she knows my situation quite well, was still all I could do not to swear at her for allowing this to go on for years.  Like I said, I have never hurt anyone, they hurt me.

I reakon they left me until last so there weren’t many people in the gallery, they don’t like the public seeing me go through the system because I have no respect for the judge or the process and give them shit – using their own laws.  Quoted Magna Carta several times and reminded her I said two weeks ago when I saw here I wasn’t voluntarily participating in teh justice process until I had health care I need and lawyer I need.

They know at court making me wait stresses me out – they’ve accommodated this aspect of my disability before – why not now, when I’m in an even more stressful situation do they now ignore it?  They could have changed the order, they knew I was going to arrive the night before. grrrr, will be bringing this all up in my complaints to police AGAIN – that they will never listen to but I have to do because nobody else does grrrrrrrrr.

Told court staff to go get my painting and bag etc because I would not be going to the police station to pick them up like last time – I don’t want to see those motherfuckers at the moment – especially that dark headed bitch on reception.

Waited in the bail room, at least slightly warmer, but I was chilled to the bone.  NEK MINIT started crying uncontrollably, that heartbroken cry where you can’t even close your mouth and you dribble onto the ground in front of you as you sit there rocking, wailing, in such emotional pain.  Your heart smashed to pieces by what you are being put through for asking for health care and justice you entitled to, for throwing paint on a white ribbon banner after being assaulted and threatened by police  – plus knowing just how cruel and corrupt your government and so many others are.

Was let out, almost ran out of the court, got outside took two steps, stood there shaking, thinking – I had missed the bus, I was now extremely upset and would have to go to the park, find something sharp and spend the next few hours self-harming until next bus to Carterton.  Didn’t have anyone I could call to pick me up.

I became completely overwhelmed, my arms gave way & I dropped my paintings signs & bag just as my legs gave way from under me and I ended up on the footpath curled up in a ball on my side.  I managed to sit up and started rocking and wailing/crying loudly – in a way that would make my broken heart feel some sort of relief from what had just happened to me.  I wasn’t there long and a woman came along and one of the guards from court came out.  They were both very nice, the woman was from Te Hauora, I been screwed over by them several times, so I was scared of her, but when she offered me a ride home I had to ignore that and say yes – I had to get home – my homing beacon was on full strength and causes me huge stress if I don’t listen to it.  I wanted to be where nobody could see me melting down, it is so humiliating when it happens – it has only been this bad four other times in 15 years.

I couldn’t keep my mouth shut with the woman, I tried, I didn’t want to tell her anything, but all my biggest fears and worries were just tumbling out of my mouth, just like the anger does when I go ‘tourettes’.  I kept saying sorry, it was OK, it didn’t matter, I just wanted to go home etc.  She asked all the usual questions about a doctor etc, told her I don’t have a doctor and why – that I havnt’ seen one for over 2 years (1 for WINZ form last year doesn’t count).  Think she was pretty horrified at how unwell and unsupported I was, told her a little about not trusting Te Hauora.  I didn’t’ have any bread or milk at home, was crying about how poor I was and how tired I was of being poor and there of course was not point in living in this shit hole country. etc etc.  She gave me $20 I refused – I HATE CHARITY – she demanded I take it, I HATE PEOPLE WHO DEMAND I TAKE CHARITY, and from an organisation that has ensured I was taken advantage of and traumatised by a flatmate under their care, denied me care themselves and let me down when I was really unwell.  A friend in the community who worked for Te Hauora for a short time told me what they thought of me, that lots of people had tried to help me, I just didn’t want help.  FUCKING SCUMBAG FUCKING LYING PIECES OF FUCKING GARBAGE.  Same people I have made complaints about that were covered up and not dealt with you mean.  They a big part of the bigoted rumour mill round here.

I’m sure the only reason I had that horrendous meltdown is the cold, it was like being tortured.  It has left me feeling tearful and very very fragile, I don’t want to go out anywhere –  I can’t anyway I”m so broke.  I’m hoping I don’t get a backlash in a few days, sometimes that can happen and I get highly suicidal and all the oppressive degrading things staff did/said will come back to haunt me.

At least Susie and even Judge Morris acknowleged that I had been punished and suffered in custody – which is why of course I wasn’t prosecuted for breaching bail ($2,000 fine & 1 yr in prison is what they threaten on bail form for violations).  Given I had sent them an email Thursday last week saying I was both mentally incapable due to my disorder and refused to attend, asking them not to make me into a criminal – they did anyway.

One thing pissed me off about Te Hauora lady, she spent at least 5mins telling me to take medication for my anxiety – WTF.  Terrorised women are being put on medications to deal with teh inhuman and unsafe living situations they are being forced to endure by the government.  Its sick, deeply deeply disturbing, immoral, unethical, unprofessional and ILLEGAL.  I also explained I was a rescuer and helped lost souls pass over to the light, I was told by spirit not to take medication or it would affect my ability to protect myself spiritually.  She didn’t say anything after that – Maori understand spirituality a lot better than Pakeha thank God.  They have a lot more respect for spiritual people as well – most Pakeha ridicule us – sad considering our entire legal system is based on christian principles of fairness justice and us being all the same before God irrelevant of our wealth and status on earth.

I’m having a chill out day today, my daughter is taking me out for brunch for mother’s day which will be nice.  Will try and stay in the present and not feel bad about the fact I can’t afford to take myself out for brunch or anybody else.  I will barely be able to afford to buy my daughter a present, its her birthday soon – my life would have been so different if I had health care and help I needed to return to work after I was raped.  Fkn scumbag government, fkn terrorist murderers 🙁

My back is hurting, so trying to not do anything more to strain that after the trip over Rimutakas in truck, feels like a lower disc wants to move and I know what that means – not being able to sit down at all, only being able to walk around slowly or lay down and in agony for days.  Its happened before.  Obviously justice transport not designed for older people with aches pains & injuries.

People ask me why do I do this to myself, I can assure you it is actually helping me, it is very hard being really unwell at home on my own, its far more stressful than protesting and getting arrested.  I get food I don’t have to pay for, hot drinks, to talk to interesting different people who understand more about failings of mental health system than anybody else – police.

Some police are OK & actually respect what I am trying to do with my mental health advocacy work –  trying to get a better journey through teh system for people who have traumatic stress disorders.  I can assure everybody I DO NOT TRUST THE POLICE and nobody reading this should either – their are some real nasty pieces of work amongst them & most/all of the others will cover it up.  As nice as some are there are others who are fkn aresholes and they all sit back and allow shit to happen. Wouldn’t even be surprised if the cold transport was for my benefit – I would assume the new truck would have had heating.  Police trying all those psychological torture tactics perhaps – when constable French said you’ll see how bad police can be, is this what he meant?

 

NZ Human Rights Universal Periodic Review Consultation Wellington

Arrived at Victoria University for the event, people from Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade organising it.  Was desperate to find someone I could talk to about getting protection from police as a Civil Society Actor.   Started talkng to this woman Sally, was upset, she told me she had been involved in human rights sector for years.  I challenged her that it was people like her who had caused the human rights issues we now had, that I now had.

She became very passive aggressive to the point of creepy, they bought me a young woman from Human Rights Commission & I immediately moved away from her like I was frightened – I can’t help it, its a reaction to all the times they have not helped me & hurt me – after all those years begging for their help and being discredited, ignored and having police etc attack me for it.

I wasn’t in a good place so I couldn’t talk to them – there’s no point – I know there is no point after 15 years.  Only place I am ever going to get help is the United Nations, HRC are set up to protect the government and New Zealand’s reputation – they even say that in their promotion of the event.  They say they trying to protect NZs reputation BLATANTLY – groan.

Sally & another woman couldn’t/woudn’t believe what has been happening with police, mental health, ACC and the justice system.  When I said about throwing the paint on White Ribbon banner in police station and chalking swastika on building Sally became really weird.  Apparently NOBODY is allowed to use that symbol etc etc, (she also called me Sweetie one part of it).  I asked her if she knew how the HUman Rights Act came about, she said she did.  When I my use of that symbol was to represent gross violations of my rights and I had every right to use it, she kept saying I wasn’t – so did the young HRC woman.   I tried to explain about people being driven to self-harm, violence, addiction suicide etc due to human rights violations by our government – she didn’t want to know.  NAZIs did it to people, in 21st century govt has worked out how to drive people to doing it themselves.  NZ has highest rate of woman self-harming in the world.

I told her she was trivialising and discrediting what was happening to me and 10,000s of other mentally injured abuse victims with her ‘extreme’ reaction to me using the swastika.  She said she wasn’t -but she was.  She was incredibly patronising and behaving really oddly, other people came around.  I knew it was time to end the conversation when people start reacting like that.  So I headed into the lecture theatre to sit down, a very dark skinned woman with braids had been listening and tried to stop me, she asked the man standing near the door to stop me from entering.  I wasn’t having any of that so just went around him, while he was trying to work out why I would be stopped.  Lots of practice & a complete lack of respect for govt officials gives you the strength to ignore them.

I also told Sally I was human sewage and she kept telling me I wasn’t, over and over again.  I said I wasn’t asking her opinion on it, I knew how I was being treated, I was a poet and song-writer and had written a song about it, I knew I was human sewage.  Her reaction was very strange.

I got in the meeting – about 50 people – mostly from agencies WHO HAVE BEEN CAUSING THESE HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUES – groan.  I had begged for help from EVERY ONE OF THEM and been told they don’t deal with individual cases – question is how do they represent human rights violations if they refuse to talk to the people having their rights violated.  Some of them loved the sound of their own voices.  The people running it were middle class ignorant people, obviously doing very well pretending we have human rights in New Zealand and staying ignorant to what is really happening.

By this stage the organisers were in a flap, outside, Sally came in and proceeded to tell me I had to leave – I looked at her and said NO.  Yes apparently I had to leave by order of Victoria University Security because I was trespassed.  WTF – I was shocked, don’t remember being given a trespass order by them, even though did have an altercation with security during a chalk protest outside couple of years ago.  Police were called, but nothing came of it.

So spoke up in front of everybody and told them what was happening, started crying, told the room of people they were trying to have me removed, that I just wanted to stay – it was related to my LEGAL non-violent protests and I needed to stay to find out what to do to get protection and justice.  I asked them to back me up, only 2 people did, the organiser up the front went out and had a talk to security, came back in and whispered I could stay.  They don’t realise there would have been NO WAY they would have got me out of there without police arresting me – NO WAY.

What a way to start the consultation meeting – with such a blatant violation of my human and civil rights.  Sally came back in the room and tried to sit beside me – I asked her to go away several times, she refused.  She moved a few seats away from me, but came closer at one point – she was making me feel really uncomfortable and was even turned towards me.  I just tried to ignore her.  Why would someone sit beside you, when you obviously didn’t like them or want them there – it was really really creepy & I will be making a complaint about her inappropriate behaviour.  An ex-social worker – groan, some of those people are very mentally disturbed – passive aggressive & DO NOT like being challenged – they just want people saying nice things about them.

We went around the room with microphone, most people were talking about violations of human rights against mentally ill people – but from an advocacy perspective.  Got to me and I did it from my perspective.

Took some notes, supported people when they said things I know to be true – groaned, closed my eyes and shook my head when I heard BULLSHIT from people who had no idea what they were talking about.

Talked to a couple of people afterwards about what going on with police, everything they suggested I had tried.  They were shocked at what was going on – because obviously they don’t come into contact with people like me – but I had phoned every one of those organisations (eg Amnesty & UN NZ group and been told to go away, they didn’t want to know about individual cases.  Not the exact person I was speaking to, but others.)

Left & went to Parliament was upset about what had happened – they had actually tried to have me removed from that very important meeting on how to approach United Nations about human rights abuses I was being subjected to. WTF.  And that woman Sally had acted really strangely – I’m sure a psychitarist would be able to explain her disturbing behaviour, especially about sitting next to me when I asked her not to – what was that?

At parliament I sat there mostly just crying & upset in front of my signs, my biggest sign was WORTHELESS SUICIDAL ABUSE VICTIM, PLEASE KILL ME – that’s how I felt.  A nice couple of tourists came up to me and asked why there was so much suicide in New Zealand.  So I told them why, was thinking later how I should do a VLOG about it.  They completely understood about how NZers were so looked after by their government but after neo-liberalism they were terrorised by them.

I asked their nationality as I couldn’t pick it – the were Isralie – there was another person their listening as well – an American, she agreed with everything I was saying about neo-liberalism government etc – was ashamed of Trump.  I said how I didn’t really understand the conflicts in their region and was focused on my own country, didn’t believe it was anything really to do with me on the other side of the world.  I did say I knew they had serious issues of allocation of resources like water and places to grow food, which I am sure was fuelling their problems.

As we talked it was apparent in New Zealand the poorest are denied a safe place to live and access to land required to grow food.  They have welfare & homes for disabled in Israel – so does New Zealand, but I said how they had taken many away and even though they gave you just enough to live, rents were skyrocketing and payments weren’t.  I also commented that even though there was welfare you were degraded & hated in teh community when you had to rely on it.  Even your own family were ashamed of you.

An Indian man from MSD (sounded like a senior executive the way he was talking) came along, he was nice and wanted to get me help.  First thing he asked me is if it was MSD who were not helping me.  I assured him my WINZ case manager was one of my biggest support people, she was an amazing person and was often upset she couldn’t get me ACC care and mental health services I was entitled to.  He was relieved – he checked about three more times, he was nice & went into Parliament to try and get me to see an MP – once he heard how serious my situation was.  He never came back, I told him they wouldnt’ see me, they were all scared of me but he could try if he wanted to.  I told them I was in contact with them and nothing had changed.

Then DAVE came over – Dave is one of the older security guards I DO NOT LIKE after a couple of incidents which were grossly unfair.   Apparently people had been in to complain to security about me and several had called police – WTF – what he said came across as a threat – hell it is a threat, but that’s the abusive process at the moment – that’s what all those people in suicide prevention have done – turned suicidal people into CRIINALS.  I know how to get out of having police or mental health called, there no way they going to commit me in a million years.

Had a long talk with Dave, so we sort of reconciled our differences, although I cried several times and said how traumatised I was by the things he had done.  He never apologised of course.  He agreed with most of what I was saying, he also said staff had been pretty traumatised by the man who set himself alight on the lawn.

At one point there was a cameraman setting up for someone I didn’t recognised, obviously to do with a news programme of some sort.  Maybe it was about the court case of woman helping her mum suicide and my sign sort of related to that.  I know he set up so I was in teh background, but I couldn’t bare to watch TV news tonight after they went on and on about National party leadership.

Left about 3.30pm and headed home.  I have protested 100s of times now, EVERY time I go out always learn something & always meet some really interesting people.  Usually learn something about how bad the system is as well – but today was the weirdest.  Those MFAT people are completely radicalised, they truly believe people are getting what the government and laws say they are.  Thank God all our submissions will go to the United Nations, I’ll make one to MFAT by 21st June 2018, but I know they will ignore it – as they ignore all my submissions on human rights etc.

What a day – I want to encourage people with human rights and other injustice issues TO BE IDLE NO MORE – GET OUT IN THE WORLD, OUT IN THE STREET, it is essential if we want things to change.

Kia kaha & Aroha to us all.

 

 

 

Law Society Complaint – ACC lawyers Meredith Connell

JR>
Sent: Friday, 22 September 2017 12:46 p.m.
To: complaints@lawsociety.org.nz
Subject: Complaint about legal firm Meredith Connell & Sean Kinsler

Dear Sir/Madam,

I wish to make a formal complaint about the conduct of Sean Kinsler as agent of ACC in perverting the course of justice with regard to criminal charges I am currently facing regarding my protesting, which I am defending under NZ Bill of Rights.

Mr Kinsler firstly advised ACC to not release the real name of my case manager so she could be subpoenaed as a witness in my current court case – to prove she phoned me in 2015 and told me my care would be reinstated as it had been in 2009 and then didn’t do this.  I don’t care about the woman’s name, I have never hurt anybody, although I do wish harm to people who are terrorising and persecuting me by refusing care when I am very unwell and suffer suicidal ideology.  The also refused the police request for the true identity of the ACC case manager.

In order to argue the case for Misuse of a Telephone (for phoning ACC screaming at them to have my care reinstated when I was very unwell) my lawyer had to have a witness.  When ACC refused to provide the case manager she asked for Scott Pickering – CEO of ACC to be a witness.  With that Police and my lawyer were phoned by Sean Kinsler and threatened that if they tried to do that he would file for a judicial review immediately and my case would be delayed for a very long time.

I have already been waiting over 14 months and my case has been delayed multiple times due to our appallingly busy court system.  I have a life-threatening stress disorder, these delays and the court proceedings cause me extreme distress and significantly aggravate my disorder.  My bulimia is worse, I have started smoking again – which I find very distressing, I am not throwing up enough and eating way to much to cope so I have put on a lot of weight and believe I have developed diabetes (but I don’t have a doctor currently, so I just feel sick most days and my eyes deteriorate- I am working on trying to get a doctor).  Random ticks have returned and so have violent images of knives slicing up my forearms and bleeding out (I just love having to deal with them 10-12 times a day).  Then of course there is the suicidal nightmare of hell.  All the time with NO MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Unable to tell my family or friends how bad things are some times and just trying to keep up appearances and stay alive through it.

Mr Kinsler knows my case, he knows how unwell I am, he knows what ACC have done to me, he has seen the disclosure documents, he is not allowed to be an agent for an extremely rich and powerful government corporation to terrorise a poor disabled person.  The very essence of our law is based on protecting poor and powerless from rich and powerful persecution – and Meredith Connell are participating in it and encouraging it.  That is not the behaviour of an ethical or professional lawyer or legal firm at any time in a democracy or in the Commonwealth.

As a result of this appalling criminal perversion of justice by Mr Kinsler my lawyer was changed the approach to my case significantly and the Misuse of Telephone Charge was dropped – because ACC had been wanting to for months and I had refused, as it was the catalyst for the protests/graffiti and wilful trespass charges I was now facing.  Now the judge won’t get to hear evidence I still believe is essential to my case, although my lawyer Susie Barnes believes we have enough evidence with other charges.

I was enraged by the Misuse of Telephone Charges that started all this when police have refused to act on my multiple complaints of harm by ACC under Sections 150A 151 155 157 of the Crimes Act.  Which if proven could result in criminal charges for ACC staff.  My current lawyer believes she has uncovered appalling behaviour and actions by senior ACC staff in my case – when they knew how unwell I was.

I am also extremely annoyed my case has been delayed so many times and the complete mess the first part hearing of my case was on 29 August – that has  to come back on 31 October 2017 and even then I am told it is going to be extremely rushed.  Although my lawyer is confident I will win on the basis of reasonableness/proportionality and even police prosecutor is appalled at what ACC have done.

My lawyer and police know these proceedings are traumatic for me, they know delays like those threatened by Sean Kinsler would cause me harm, they know how desperate I am to get these things over with.  I shouldn’t even be in court I’ve already won multiple cases of wilful trespass using NZ Bill of Rights.  I shouldn’t even be in court when the process is being used to terrorise me in a punitive way – when I am a recognised disabled Civil Society Actor in the area of mental health and neo-liberalism.

I truly believe the way I am being treated by ACC and Meredith Connell is also related to my political and ethical opinions and terrorising me using police and the justice system as a form of intimidation.  It is illegal to harm someone asserting their civil and political rights, why is this happening to me and has happened multiple times before?

Westminster Statute the First – Common right be done to all rich as poor.  Magna Carta – No-one shall be destroyed and everyone shall have access to right and justice.  YEAH RIGHT!  This is a gross violation of the law and my rights!  What these people have done is illegal!

PLEASE CONTACT ME URGENTLY about this situation so I know what is going on, please advise time frames this complaint will be dealt with and please assure me this complaint isn’t going to derail my current case.  In fact it would be my assertion this needs to be sorted out immediately so my lawyer can question my ACC case manager and Scott Pickering on 31 October and get some more time allocated if required.  Why should I be denied justice because of some mercenary lawyer prepared to do anything his high paying rich violent criminal client says.

Sincerely

JR

Civil Society Actor

New Zealand No 1 for homelessness in OECD

Its weird in New Zealand how it takes international organisations to highlight some of the worst social problems – while our government, media and National party voting leaders throughout our communities DENY what is going on with everything they have.

Actually its quite deranged – its why I get the abuse, insults and being discredited that I do from those in authority here.  Why no local mayor will respond to my requests for a meeting about mental health, poverty homelessness etc – yet they are often on the front page of local newspapers welcoming new people here.  In complete denial these new rich people are driving out disabled poor locals.

I never thought of Wairarapa as some sort of red-neck cauldron of hatred against poor and love of rich – but it truly is.  The kids used to call it death valley when they were teenagers – they knew – it was for them of course, after neo-liberals drove all the manufacturing jobs overseas in the 80s and 90s, they also drove most of the young out of the region and to Australia.  I know a few people who ended up in Aussie and are so much happier – mostly with how they are treated by their bosses.

Been doing a lot on twitter at the moment, conversations from all over the world, lately the UK – people can’t believe how bad it is here – they have been brainwashed into believing New Zealand is this amazing beautiful place with pristine environment, lovely people and little crime – LOL.  NZ is great at marketing of course – that’s it – after years of exploiting our environment and degrading the poorest and most vulnerable we have some of the most polluted waterways in the world, we have the highest rate of suicide and homelessness in the OECD, highest rates of family violence (due to people being terrified, stressed and forced to live in dangerous situations).

All my years of protesting in Wellington – our capital city – telling people in power (especially in our judiciary) just how bad things are for me and so many others.  I certainly don’t get the abuse from people in suits I used to get when I started 7 years ago – don’t have any health care or a safe home ot live in either – go figure.

Being charged for Misuse of a Telephone for screaming for my ACC care to be reinstated after winning two reviews, and for graffiti with a chalk pen and wilful trespass must be getting under the skin of the police by now.  Those in power in the police are so corrupt and so much part of this radicalised neo-liberal terrorism by rich of poor, I do wonder if they truly realise what they are doing.  I reakon this election is certainly hitting home to those in justice, just how they have failed New Zealands poor – who they no know are being persecuted by rich – the oldest hatred in developed world – the reason we have laws was to stop rich and powerful persecuting poor and powerless.

Still praying my health care will be restored as my physical health is deteriorating, especially with my huge increase in weight – makes me feel like shit – I try not to let it.  My mental health swings from hope to complete despair, I can see how people are driven to bi-polar, along with living in a world that says it cares for you but really it HATES you.

In New Zealand our government and leaders HATE disabled and poor people so much they deny them somewhere safe to live – where we were once heralded as the most progressive and egalitarian country in the world – now we are EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE.  The rich here have got so much richer and the hatred they continue to inflict on those THEY MADE UNEMPLOYED AND THEY DENY HEALTH CARE, WELFARE AND HUMAN RIGHTS entitlements to is so disturbing.

That’s why I get terrorised by police and many others like I do, that’s why I am denied health care I am entitled to and yet those denying it tell police and community I JUST DON’T WANT HELP.

After my protest at Min of Health couple of weeks ago I am in discussions with a senior medical officer, a nice man, A NORMAL PERSON with manners and who acts like a professional, so hopefully that will get me some care – he’s working on it.  I’m trying not to get my hopes up as when they are dashed – like they always have been in the past – the suicidal nightmare in my head is BAD, REALLY BAD – dont’ think I’ll survive it if this fails.

Am still thinking about documentary I saw by Naomi Klein called The Shock Doctorine, the truth of how completely vile the super rich and our governments truly are is comforting for me.  All these years me and so many other New Zealanders – including my dad (who is dead now) have known something was very very wrong with our government and how they were controlling our economy/lives – all of us placated and told it wasn’t true, that government weren’t doing that to us at all.  That government had to do this to us, had to sell off all our public owned assets, had to privatise everything, had to exploit our environment until it was polluted and our kids got sick swimming in the rivers.  We were all so naive and so brainwashed, especially by those we knew who were doing OK and those in our news media.  Watching TV 1 adverts for how great their news is, how honest and local it is, how it tells the truth and covers all the angles – when I’m sitting here knowing they censor everything I know say and do and what is happening to me for legally protesting.

Watching the deceit and marketing coming from our media about suicide is the hardest thing to watch – knowing they are pushing suicidal people into services that are going to degrade, abuse and persecute them even more.  On Wednesday last week, stupid me, yet again phoned media begging them to tell my story and everything that was happening in Wairarapa – why we were NO 1 in NZ for suicide.  Had this woman from Newshub (Radio Live, TV 3 etc) (sure I’ve spoken to the revolting bitch before) on the phone encouraging me to talk, to start with I said I wouldn’t because she would call the police.  She assured me several times she wouldn’t and she would tell my story, but of course she didn’t, she phoned police who then spent the next 3 hours terrorising and threatening me.  This is how corrupt New Zealand media are – especially when it comes to the suffering of abuse victims who can’t get care they entitled to and become suicidal.  These media people love it, love terrorising people, love driving people to suicide and creating more news for themselves – its truly sick, but that’s what radicalised neo-liberals do.

I ended up taking a new friend of mine with me to the police station because after two stupid phone calls from police I knew they would end up at my house and it wouldn’t go well.  Lucky she was with me, cause they revolting cow (who has hidden complaints in the past) on the desk got one of the policemen who assaulted me to come out.  I said I didn’t want to see or speak to him, he came out anyway, it didn’t go well, I challenged him on his threatening violence against me for legally protesting and lying about Hoera assaulting me – he just stood there.  Then I started swearing, so time to leave.  You have to go and see them if someone has phoned you about mental health because that is what the government do in order to terrorise you.  The government don’t like people who suicide, it makes them look bad and their horrendous neo-liberal ideologies they inflict on us are proven to be the persecution of poor they truly are.

All the phone numbers at the end of every news item about suicide or self-harm that I know goes absolutely nowhere – yes there is someone there telling you they’re listening but they don’t do anything.  If your situation is too much for them those poor young people with psychology degrees who can’t get jobs anywhere else just hang up on you.  Wonder how many people they hang up on every day, how many times they phone police to come round and terrorise the person.

It is terrifying when police first start being involved when your mental health gets to the extreme after years of medical neglect and ongoing trauma.  You can’t understand why you would be treated like a criminal for asking for help – especially for me, when I had read ACC law and many documents on health care I was supposed to get BUT IT WASN’T AVAILABLE.

I WISH …………………………………………..  I think everybody who reads this blog will know what I wish for.

Kia kaha to us all

Ministry of Health Wellington arrest for protesting about suicide

Guerrilla protest  mission MOH re suicide, got arrested

Guerrilla protest mission MOH re suicide, got arrested

Big day protesting in Wellington yesterday had been chickening out for weeks about doing it – but mental health was getting worse and worse I just had to let of steam about what Ministry of Health staff were doing.

Their refitted building now includes a fancy new café and security system to keep out us citizens.  Had a good audience for my rage, around 40 people around the foyer, it was lunchtime, about 12.45.  A small group of around 5 women tried to calm me down and did all the usual bullshit about having a cup of coffee.  I was  having none of that shit, I only got 10 mins before police arrive, so I’m as loud as I can be.  Wanted the police arrive to me singing and they did – Human Sewage.

I bollocked the fuck out of everybody there, called them murderers, told them they were killing my kids friends – driving them to suicide.  Screaming at them, hysterical, but the volcano had to go off some time.  I’m just speaking for me and all those I know who are unnecessarily suffering in this neo-liberal shit hole.  I talked about all the people I know who have committed suicide.

The looks on their faces was one of either guilt or complete refusal to take any responsibility for suicide and abusive mental health services.

Refused to leave the building, refused to stop yelling at them about why I was there so was arrested for Disorderly Behaviour, appropriate considering I have a stress Disorder.  Was best out of there anyway, I wouldn’t have stopped and the swearing wouldn’t have either.  Police were nice – two of them I already knew – I have am definitely infamous in Wellington for protesting.

Didn’t’ have to spend any time in the cells, was out of police custody within an hour.  Cried from when I was put in the police car, snot everywhere, was revolting.  Officer told me it is now a requirement to have handcuffs – just like America (were his words, he was an old cop, he knew it was shit for someone like me and completely unnecessary.

Got really upset several times, started ticking and rocking, backed up into the corner, when they asked questions about my doctor – when I don’t have one and the last one I had didn’t believe a thing I said.  Told them I had Complex PTSD, Sgt was bit of a jerk, telling me not to go back there or do anything else that had police called or I would spend night in the cells – WHICH I HATE – and is an illegal threat – given I hadn’t broken the law under Bill of Rights.

Gotta have a laugh with them though, threw all the laws I know at him, not me who’s the criminal – they should be charging the people at Min of Health and ACC that were denying me care I was entitled to.  Told him to charge them under Sections 150A 151 155 157 of the Crimes Act.  He ignored me of course.  They know I’m right that’s why they’re nice to me and let me go.

Left, had a cup of tea at Library Café next door and went off chalking and to meet up with a friend.  Chalked my poem MOH at Maui’s Garden and a good quote about poverty being a crime.

Was interesting watch police dealing with me, obviously there has been a bit of a discussion about how to legally.  Only got the Pre Charge Warning and let go – under Disorderly Behaviour, Sgt repeated several times it was not to be under Wilful Trespass (which I am up on charges of).  Was also issued two more trespass notices from Ombudsman and Human Rights Commission – WTF – they’re not allowed to use Trespass law to stop me protesting.  I was reading the judgement by J Williams.

Apparently I’m trespassed from about 15 different places LOL – all places who are supposed to legally help me and don’t, or who have made public comments about poor people etc.  So much for freedom of speech in New Zealand – if artists are being arrested you know things are bad.

Big shout out to Wellington Police – no comparison to the several violent arseholes that work in the Wairarapa.  I mentioned that to the officers who arrested me, a woman and man (the woman had arrested me before, I remember her).  They were nice and agreed not all officers are good people, I told them Q Hoera was a violent arsehole.

Told the Sgt wouldn’t be long and there would be 100 people like me occupying and protesting in government and justice buildings.  He didn’t look happy, I said he should be cause I was a non-violent activist who respected police that respected me and my rights to be angry about what was happening to so many.

Going to be making a legal complaint about the number of trespass notices when its a violation of my civil and political rights.  Non-violent protest, even if it is offensive (eg swearing) is a right I have under Civil Society Activism.  If I can’t get my justice issues in front of a judge, as required under Magna Carta, then I HAVE EVERY RIGHT to speak truth to power of those hurting me – AS OFTEN AS I CHOOSE TO – without threat of intimidation.