Tag Archives: suicide prevention

RNZ News – A distraught desperate despairing letter to Radio NZ

rom: Jayne R
Sent: Saturday, 14 September 2019 1:44 PM
To: rnz@radionz.co.nz <rnz@radionz.co.nz>
Subject: How many other things do our media cover up???

I know you cover up neo-liberalism and the damage it is doing, you cover up the housing market failure that is driving suicide, violence, crime and the destruction of our society, you cover up why so many people are suicidal but whine on with the same BS that people just need to talk to someone and a social worker will fix it, you cover up what is happening to me for years.
Nobody trusts what NZ media say any more, you are bias and manipulate it out of greed and elitism.  I have just had a discussion with my brother that ended in him telling me if my life was so difficult then I should end it permanently.   That’s what middle class and rich do to any of their family who end up in the darklands of this hell hole due to corruption in ACC, justice govt etc.
Yesterday I went to see my 25 yr old daughter for a coffee – I don’t see her very often, it hurts to much and too difficult, her partner and her have just built a house, they both work and she just got a $6,000 bonus from working at Powershop.  Apparently they made the biggest profit in their history – now I see the news item below and find out they are also a big greenhouse gas polluter.   My daughter throws food out, I barely have enough decent food to eat each week.

The media in New Zealand are destroying our society, you have got to stop lying to people, you have got to stop avoiding the serious issues and telling us about road accidents and how good the odd poor or disabled person is doing.  You are killing us, we are in a state of ANOMIE now, reading the front page of the Wairarapa Times-Age and its like you have all gone COMPLETELY INSANE.   A charity run by a foreigner who wants us to be like the UK – not like NZ – wealthy LABOUR ASSOCIATED local elites who run Trust House, profiting from market rents of state housing they were almost gifted, highest rate of pokie use in NZ and exploiting alcoholics through their pubs etc.

Then going on how the HIGHEST EVER PROFIT and ‘return to the community’ is PROOF they are fulfilling their purpose of ‘community wellbeing’.  THAT IS INSANE WHEN IT IS WELL KNOW WE HAVE THE HIGHEST RATE OF SUICIDE AND SELF-HARM IN NEW ZEALAND, highest rates of people being prescribed psychotropic drugs (to cope with how dysfunctional our society is), highest rate of compulsory treatments orders (because wealthy health elites demand people who are suffering are drugged up).

You’ve made a pact to talk about environmental issues you were avoiding before – what about a pact to talk about economic, human rights and constitutional issues that you are currently avoiding.   You are in denial and believing your own propaganda – IT IS NOT TRUE.

I emailed you earlier about my situation of being in court for a crime of writing a poem about a criminal who works for Bell Gully and Compass Health to stop poor people getting health care by underfunding – so there are more resources for rich people with private health insurance.   I know the man is a murderer, I know what he does and yet you do nothing to expose him.   You do nothing about local MPs in government who have done nothing to alleviate the suffering of disabled poor people – especially abuse victims in Wairarapa – is that because all our MPs are men, who think sexually assaulting, raping, hitting and neglecting women to the point of suicide IS A WAY OF CREATING JOBS FOR PEOPLE WHO DONT’ HAVE THOSE ISSUES???????????????

I will be putting this email on my website, just to show people what the media know and don’t say anything about.    I am intelligent, don’t have a personality disorder and am not delusional and yet two psych assessments (that were only done because I couldn’t get legal aid and was not well enough to represent myself) say I am completely insane and should be locked up under a compulsory treatment order FOR PROTESTING ABOUT HOW BAD MENTAL HEALTH SERVCIES ARE AND HOW OUR GOVERNMENT DEPRIVE DISABLED PEOPLE OF THE SAFE STABLE CULTURALLY APPROPRAITE HOUSING THEY ARE ENTITLED TO UNDER ACC AND OTHER LAWS.

You are the media, if you don’t tell us peasants the truth then we are going to continue to suffer and die.   As you make it worse and worse, the more lies you are telling, the bias, the ignorance, the trivialising of EXTREMELY SERIOUS issues that are destroying us.   Media are the ones who made us No 1 in the OECD for youth suicide, domestic/flatmate violence, self-harm, eating disorders and homelessness – YOU ALL DID IT – YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE.  I bet that is why Greg Boyed killed himself, he couldn’t take what he was doing any longer, he was a good person.

Why – why – why – why do you want suffering violence pollution and death – it is your friends and family who will be affected as well.   Mostly the violence etc is in the darklands, but it will affect more and more of the middle class and rich – NO MATTER HOW MANY POLICE YOU EMPLOY.   Those young cops aren’t going to be sticking at it for long – you are traumatising them as well – especially with suicides.  You have allowed the government to create this neo-liberal nightmare and you refuse to do anything to stop it.  There are solutions to this but nobody will act with any leadership or strength to change things for the better – YOU ARE INSANE, THE GOVERNMENT ARE INSANE, BIG BUSINESS ARE INSANE, OUR LEGISLATURE, EXECUTIVE AND JUDICIARY ARE ALL INSANE.  So much of what I see is illegal – but nobody challenges it in court or will even discuss it in public.   No we’re having a big meeting and discussion about more cancer funding…..   groan.

You leave me both enraged and in deep despair, why are you doing this to us – what did any of us ever do to you.   Check out some of my solutions (on this website) – ALL BASED ON PROFESSIONAL HEALTH MODELS, also my posts about Regional Rehab Centres and Regional Mental Health facilities.  Making sure everybody is working and participating – human garbage like me doesn’t get to participate I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY!!!!!!  NONE LEFT, NOT FOR A $5 COFFEE.  That’s why so  many shops in Carterton are struggling, their incomes getting less and less because NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE HAVE ENOUGH MONEY and the rich can’t spend it fast enough.   Landlords, banks and government has it all.


New Zealand governments suicide prevention strategy blames the community for neo-liberal failure

I will remind people MIKE KING has no qualifications WHATSOEVER.  I have had personal experience of this mentally ill narcistic abusive psychopath, when he first got into the SUICIDE INDUSTRY and more recently where I was not allowed to be part of some marketing idea him and Kyle had.  I have been protesting for years more than him and knew far more than him and his mate Kyle McDonald – who both emotionally and financially profit from what they do.  They cater to a small group of suicidal people, not the majority – they particularly love addicts/junkies and middle class/rich people because of their own unresolved issues and elitism.

These ideas the government are suggesting are nothing more than propaganda, they are not going to address the suicide issue, they require people to be terrorised and suicidal so they can create more jobs and profits for charities/not-for-profits and businesses.   Blaming the community for the nightmare of hell they have created, demanding the community (which doesn’t exist in a neo-liberal society according to Margaret Thatcher) deal with suicidal people – WTF.   This idea DOES NOT WORK, PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO, JUST TALKING WITH SOMEONE DOESN’T HELP if they dont’ have the necessities of life required to be provided by our government.

What an insult to the families and friends of suicidal people, if they knew what to do then the person they cared about would be dead or suicidal.  The complete ridiculousness of King’s statements show he is not very educated or intelligent.

It is delusional to think charities and not for profits are not profiting from this suffering.  Many of these charities pay their staff – often VERY GOOD SALARIES and have cultures of extravagance way beyond what those they ‘support’ would know.  KidsCan is reknown for it.  The neo-liberal/Libertarian utopia demands charities pay for those the government once cared for – govt who have the legal responsibility under international treaties and NZ constitutional laws to care for.  Mike King is one of those people.

I have had dealings with some of these suicide organisations and all they do is tell people to get over it and they are loved – which means absolutely nothing.  Love is a verb not a noun.

Also remember Mike King has been at the forefront of youth suicide for over a decade AND NEW ZEALAND HAS THE HIGHEST RATE OF YOUTH SUICIDE IN THE OECD!!!!   If Mike King was successful in his ideas then I would be completely supportive of what he is suggesting and supporting – BUT HE HAS BEEN A WORLD LEADING FAILURE AT IT!!!!!!!!!   Then of course there is the recent breakdown he had over the numbers of people calling him wanting to commit suicide since he was made NZer of the year for services to youth suicide.   THE MAN CAN’T HANDLE IT, he is only doing this for the publicity, that’s why he was a comedian and performer, for the attention, he even admits it in interviews.

As for people like me being involved in developing services that work – THAT WILL NEVER EVER HAPPEN – as I know from my 17 years of making submissions to parliament about dozens of laws/commissions etc, about what was necessary to bring down suicide rates.   The government will choose those suggestions that are in line with their neo-liberal and other political beliefs and of course their budgets.   Professional health models will not come into it and making sure one of the most important group of suicidal people – victims of violent crime (domestic violence) get all the entitlements required under ACC law.

NOTE to employers who fund ACC, unemployed adults/children are paid for out of general taxation.  However you are being shafted after decades ago the NZ government covertly and corruptly made victims of crime who work your financial responsibility.  They also made people who had sports injuries your responsibility as well (not counting professional sports people).  Both of these groups should be under general taxation.

AND GENERAL TAXATION TO THE RICHEST PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY MUST BE REINSTATED TO PREVIOUS LEVELS IN ORDER TO FUND THIS!   Not only have these wealthy elitist globalists had massive general taxation tax cuts, they have also had family wealth taxes removed in order for families to acquire more money and resources.

It is well known to me people with mental health issues are the biggest target for persecution by neo-liberals in our government.  We are the 21st century Jew – except of course NAZI persecuted disabled people, women they raped and homeless gypsy more than Jews.   If Jews were perceived as the rich in Germany now the rich, gays and people with dark brown coloured skin are united in harming people like me.   I attended the meetings prior to Human Rights report from NZ to the UN – in a meeting of around 50 people held at Victoria University, 48 of them were there about human rights abuses of people with mental health issues.

Again, that is why I am being terrorised by the police and denied ACC care I am entitled to after winning two ACC reviews NINE YEARS AGO.  Jacinda knows this, Labour party knows this, NZ First knows this and so do the Greens.

These low level services are going to tell people there is hope for the future and they are valued – there is no hope for 20% of the population in any neo-liberal controlled society and they are definitely not valued for talent or skill.


Maori Council slams Governments suicide plan – racist media incite hate!

This is the insanity we have to live with in New Zealand media inciting racial hatred and division.

There are 100s reasons why the government’s suicide plan is an unprofessional, corrupted, criminally negligent, abusive, illegal experimental, propaganda/marketing, neo-liberal abomination – but it has absolutely nothing to do with race WHATSOEVER.

It has everything to do with the PROVEN SCIENTIFIC FACT that privatisation of mental health services into the hands of contractors leads to people with the most need being rejected and those with the least being overly supported/resourced.

What Jacinda Ardern, Labour Party, ACC, mental health, DHB, police, justice etc are currently doing to me through the courts proves without doubt the government do not intend for people with Complex PTSD  to have the professional treatment care, rehabilitation and safe stable homes (shelter and food security) they are entitled to if they are mentally injured by sexual and physical violence (or overwhelming trauma) and cannot work.  These people are the most significant part of those who are suicidal and not coping in our neo-liberal extremist society.

Years of neo-liberal controlled governments have not deviated from the same corrupt, inhuman, illegal, unconstitutional behaviour.  Making everything into an opportunity for someone to profit personally from a business has been a failure when applied to basic human needs as outlined in Maslows Heirachy of Needs.  When applied to safety, housing and food security – our most basic needs.

My current wealthy lawyer laughed at me when I said I was being denied the necessities of life.  If I had the necessities of life I wouldn’t be suicidal, self-harming, etc and ROTTING ON WELFARE.   If you consider the evolution of humans I cannot think of another time in human history where a person would have where they live (a private rental) constantly threatened to be taken away, every three months.  Where people could not live in peace – which is a significant part of the Magna Carta and why we have fkn laws and govt.

I have no feeling of safety because of the police violence and my complaints being rejected.  I don’t have a man to protect me from other males violence.  I never used to get scared if I heard noises outside when it was dark, now I freeze for a few seconds listening and waiting for a knock on the door and police coming to get me to hurt me again – physically and psychologically.  I am also terrified of the large numbers of mentally ill people who I have been forced to live with who exploit and terrorise people like myself, mostly not on purpose.  It is difficult not to be terrorised by someone who attempts suicide.

I have no shelter or food security, every day, every week, every month, every year, every decade I am forced to live with the knowledge I could be given six weeks notice from MY HOME and be homeless (as there are no state houses in Carterton I would also be driven from where I belong).   I am forced to live with the knowledge that I have so little food and almost every dollar I am given has to go to food, therefore depriving me of other basic cultural rights.

The basic right to go to funerals, attend family events, participate in cultural events, go to a doctor when everybody else can, receive health care other people do, get justice (if I had money I would have paid a lawyer to get my ACC care back and sue them years ago), have a pet, have a job, etc.

Here is the news item that inspired this post.  You should also refer to Chris Hedges interview with Matt Taibbli and other ones about how media incite violence to create profits.

Hi Selena – how’s your day going – you can withdraw from this and say you were being bullied into it you know.   I saw how that Sgt was with you, I know how the decent officers feel about me being terrorised through the police and court system rather than getting the ACC care I’m supposed to have.



Wairarapa Real Estate industry & local govt trying to violate my FREEDOM OF SPEECH – AHHHH NAH

Was warned by someone there is a meeting today in Carterton demanded by local real estate agents – particularly Harcourts – with Mayor John Booth and the Carterton District Council.  Here is my email response to various people and I’m putting this on my website TO PROTECT MYSELF.  Please read and contact Mayor John Booth  NZ 06 379 4030 or any member of the council about it, contact your MP about it as well.  Everybody is fine to protect fascists when their freedom of speech is violated – so I need the arts and legal community to protect me.

The more people who know what is happening the safer I am, wonder if my landlord been put under any pressure to evict me yet?   They were here yesterday doing some work, everything seemed OK, but you can’t trust anybody in this neo-liberal terrorist heart of New Zealand.   I only live a few kms from the VERY CENTRE of New Zealand – middle earth.  And I can assure you I am Frodo and this is a fight for our humanity – yipes.

From: JR
Sent: Thursday, 30 May 2019 10:06 AM
To: news TVNZ; Breakfast TVNZ; theprojectnz@mediaworks.co.nz; am@amandamillar.co.nz; radiomediaworks@gmail.com; tdbadvertising@gmail.com; contact@9news.com.au
Subject: URGENT – Freedom of speech and expression for suicidal victims of crime in New Zealand – YEAH RIGHT! – AHHHHH NAH!

Freedom of speech and expression – YEAH RIGHT!
Attention The Rock Suicide Jockeys
Attention Martyn Bradbury
Attention Jack Tame
Attention all the nice presenters who don’t know what is going on in the darklands beyond the cliff face.

From: JR
Sent: Thursday, 30 May 2019 9:37 AM
To: Iain Lees-Galloway MP; golriz.ghahraman@parliament.govt.nz; Andrew Little; Jacinda Ardern MP; kieran.mcanulty@parliament.govt.nz; alastair.scott@parliament.govt.nz; ron.mark@parliament.govt.nz; Ann Rice; Petitions OHCHR; United Nations Association of New Zealand; Bryce Edwards; submissions@theintercept.com; submissions@truthdig.com
Subject: URGENT for you information – so none of you can say you didn’t know what was going on

Sent: Thursday, 30 May 2019 9:31 AM
To: HANSEN, Jennifer
Subject: URGENT for you information

You had better be prepared to protect me from what is happening with Mayor John Book, Carterton Council and their illegal secret consultations with local Real Estate businesses.  You are most welcome to be there to mediate and record the meeting as well, in fact it would be a very good idea for you to be there.  Groan
Seems my latest works of art are causing a real stir in the community – and yes I am being told by people who agree with what I say to tone the rage down a bit – after the years of persecution and my resulting disability it is very difficult – I can assure you I am trying.  It would be extremely helpful if I had my ACC care reinstated as required by law and the $10,000 ACC are withholding from me.
Also why would Harcourts be coming to Carterton to have a meeting?  They don’t have an office in Carterton and I havn’t been anywhere near them. I used to work for Harcourts back in the days of Mary & Pat Mahoney, so this meeting should and could be very interesting and very helpful to you and me.
Please contact me 027 3040120 if you are any part of this??? Please remember Westminister Statute the 1st – common right be done to all rich as poor and Magna Carta and my rights to freedom of speech and expression.  Police aren’t there to keep NZ safe – that is neo-liberal corruption – the police are there to keep the peace between rich and poor – AS PEACEKEEPERS not soldier.
Civil Society Actor

From: JR
Sent: Thursday, 30 May 2019 9:16 AM
To: info@cdc.govt.nz

Dear John,
I have been told you are getting extreme pressure from Real Estate Agents in Wairarapa to DO SOMETHING ABOUT MY LEGAL PUBLIC PROTESTS in order to violate my freedom of speech and expression.
YOU NEED TO CANCEL THAT MEETING – it is illegal for you to co-operate with these rich people when you refuse to co-operate with a poor person like myself, especially an artist and Civil Society Actor as defined by the United Nations.
You are the government, if those Real Estate Agents want to do graffiti art and marketing on the streets with their views on those things that incite HATE in our community then they are most welcome to.  It is the law that you keep the peace between rich and poor, IT IS ILLEGAL TO ADVANCE THE RICH AND PERSECUTE THE POOR.
If you want to continue with the meeting you need to contact me and see when I am available to also attend.  The meeting will need to be recorded for my safety and legal purposes.  I will be advising the Minister for Local Government of the meeting and what is happening, again for my protection and legal purposes.
You are putting me through all of this just so ACC doesn’t have to reinstate my health care after winning two ACC reviews nine years ago – BECAUSE I AM A DISABLED MENTALLY INJURED VICTIM OF CRIME and criminal negligence and don’t have the necessaries of life I am entitled to under CURRENT NZ LAWS and UN signed ratified international treaties.  Wow, you people have completely lost the plot, abuses of power will do that to pretty much any person.
Civil Society Actor

2nd night in Wellington police cells in New Zealand

Been avoiding writing this, don’t want to recall what happened it hurts too much, but I know I have to, then I won’t have to look at it again if I don’t want to – better out than in.

My arrest and night in Wellington police cells was going fine until the last three hours, then it all turned to shit because I was transported in a very cold NEW van into cold court cell, further delays and an arsehole guard looking after me.  People with stress disorders (in stressful situations) must be treated the same as people in shock, first thing you do is keep them warm, being cold adds to trauma/stress.  That is what should be on my court transfer papers not that I make vague threats of self-harm – WTF.  The design of that NEW transport staff were gloating about is absolute crap and harmful to those inside the boxes.

Start from the beginning

As I didn’t turn up for court on Monday, as I had been turned down by the OT for health services and still didn’t have a lawyer I knew there would be a warrant out for my arrest.  Chickened out doing a protest in Masterton so I would get arrested, too scared of police here.  Went over to Wellington chalking and then started on my mission.

Headed for Supreme Court to do some chalking about justice and how I completely blamed the judiciary for discrimination against mentally ill people and allowing government to criminalise and persecute them, deny them professional health care.  Then headed up to Treasury building and left a message for Treasury wankers – photos on my facebook page.  Held them to account for the appalling mental health stats as well – did a few swastikas and called them murderers as well – I know they hate it.  Then headed for Human Rights Commission, from which I am trespassed.

Nutted off at this old guy in reception and a group of people having a meeting about some bullshit.  I was in total fire breathing dragon mode, told them exactly what I thought of them and their responsibility for mental health crisis, suicide, NZ being No 1 for child suicide, self-harm in women and family violence.  Left before police arrived heading for my next target – didn’t make it 🙂

Have photos on my facebook page /jrmurphypoetmusician did a couple of videos of the chalking a few photos at the Human Rights Commission.  Its like lala land up there, those people are completely out of touch with reality and refusing to accept the seriousness of what has gone on in mental health due to an economic theory taking over from constitutional, health and justice rights.

Was arrested on Lambton Quay with my large naked torso painting a couple of cardboard signs and my big over shoulder satchel with chalk pens paper etc in it.  Was funny knowing they were coming, saw them to my left, I was heading towards Willis Street across from Midland Park.  They put on their lights, quickly did a u turn and jumped out of their car to aprehend me lol.  Told them to calm down I knew I was going to be arrested, that’s why I had come to Wellington – strange to them of course.  I was picked up on warrant for breach of bail for not attending court.  Not for nutting off at the dick head at the HRC and breaching a trespass order.  WAs prepared for it to happen though.

Tried to talk them out of handcuffs but couldn’t, managed to get them put on in front of me which is so much less oppressive/scary/vulnerable than behind your back.  She also did it really loosely on my right wrist cause told her I get arthritis in it.

Male officer told me handcuffs were for theirs and my safety – lol – brainwashed.  Not in my situation they’re not – its one thing I hope the UN can look at having a restriction on police using handcuffs, particularly in a public place.  They were OK, just following the book and treating me like any criminal who had a warrant out for their arrest.

Got back to the station and got processed, almost everybody was nice, were surprised to see me back.  The woman I had a run in with last time came and talked to me a few times, said she was pretty stressed with work etc last time I was there and sort of apologised, we made peace – that’s the main thing.

Didn’t sleep all night but was able to read a book, which I couldn’t last time because my stress levels were too high.  I can’t hold the story in my head when very stressed, even this time there were a few times I had to re-read paragraphs because I hadn’t absorbed what I just read.  Its a horrible part of Complex PTSD and a lot of people don’t understand it, can make you feel really stupid and like you going mad.  I worked out over years, it comes and goes depending on my stress levels.

I was OK with going through the police process I had gone over it in my head many times.  Had all the same guards as last time just in a different order, they were really cheerful and nice.  Told them I was in a much better state than last time and just wanted to get through the process and get things sorted out.  Last time I was self-harming and really distressed, this time I was really chilled out.

Had a guy come into the cells about 6pm who banged and yelled most of the night, then started up again in the morning – when I get stressed too, cause you don’t know what time is and all the guards disappear to organise transfers etc.  Handover is at around 7am.  So in the morning he sets off sprinkler in his cell and flooded something else by the sounds of it, lol, all the male prisoners were put in the female section – was weird seeing the guys – cause you never do.  They have it set up so people can’t see each other – I’m all good with that, few of them looked dodgy as.  They handcuffed him and put him in the Female Day cell that I can see from my special window/mental health cell.  Gave him the thumbs up for what he’d done, I was bored too.

As 11pm shift came on I asked if I could go in the bigger cell to prepare myself for going in the van in the morning, like I had spoken to Stuart about – when I made a comment about my first visit and how they could improve it.  He was a pommy guy with a bald head, manipulative power tripper.  So a group of them are outside my cell and he makes a comment about me being a Human Rights activist in a mocking tone then tells me he will think about the change of cell and tell me in the morning – he didn’t.  I worried about it all night, because had a bad feeling I would have a meltdown in the morning – which I did and are really horrible.  He purposely denied my request and kept me guessing to exert his authority and disempower me – and it would have had even more impact if I didn’t understand psychology of abusive power relationships.  so I’ll be making a complaint to police about it.  That is the sort of person who SHOULD NEVER BE in a position of power over others.

Got to have a shower at around 4.30am and had an early breakfast, 3 weetbix milk sugar & a milo.  Should have asked for something to take with me, didn’t realise how long it would be until I had food again – and I have diabetes issues if I don’t eat reguarly – especially having been up all night, when your body needs extra food.  I learnt that years ago, if you want to stay up all night at a party you have to keep eating throughout the night, its your body running out of fuel that makes you tired.

Reluctant to get in the van in the morning, they just turn up to take you, it freaks you out, I need to know what is going to happen to mentally prepare – fuck them!!!!

Van to Lower Hutt was really cold, 2 metal boxes in back of a van, 4 men sitting close together in one side and 2 women in the other.  First time I’ve had someone to talk to during transport, she was a regular visitor, knew the system well, but we avoided why we there.

We change to the NEW truck for trip over Rimutakas, it has about 10 metal boxes with individual windows – the staff were gloating that it belonged to Wairarapa and Hutt were jealous they didn’t have anything that flash.  Obviously they  have never spent any time in the back – I have got to get something done about the design or they going to have lots more people flipping out like me.

I refused to get in this van, he had to take my arm, but I did’nt resist past that, these metal boxes are only as big as your body and solid except for small windows.  Killer on your back, when you get jolted over bumps, there no padding its just a stainless steel bench about 1m square – FREEZING COLD AGAIN.  Not only cold thick metal there was a blast of cool air blowing down from directly above that you couldn’t get away from, it either went on top of your head or if you sat hard up against back it went onto your body and legs, which felt even colder.

Someone yelled out to guards to turn the fans off at about Upper Hutt, guards told him they were for ventilation, I chimed in that I wanted them off too, I was fkn freezing.

I got colder and colder – sooooo bad for my stress disorder – people under extreme stress are supposed to be kept warm.  Got angrier and angrier too.  When I got to Masterton refused to move – couldn’t move – I don’t know, but didn’t get out of van for about 5mins – they didn’t know what to do.  When I finally did because I thought they were going to get more physical two women were standing at end of truck.  I angrily asked WHAT ARE YOU – they were detectives, one of them said how she had heard about me in a nice enough voice –  I have got lots of supporters in the police – my response as I went past was a vicious GET FUCKED.  Was angry at the police for putting me through this shit, through all of this shit letting ACC manipulate them and refusing to investigate my complaints about them.

Was put in women’s holding cell at Masterton Court – it was fkn freezing as well, blasting cool air and a vent that went directly outside I could see through.  We had arrived about 10.30am from what I can gather, I wasn’t feeling very well coming over but was so fkn angry ignored it.  Got there was so cold put x2 on my ReFuSe tag I left two weeks ago.  They wouldn’t give me my shoes, eventually they gave me a museli bar at around 12pm – I had breakfast at 5am – they were told I had diabetes issues, it should be on my transfer notes I have to be offered food at regular intervals, they know the time I don’t – WTF.  Grrrr  That’s what those notes are fucking for – not a pile of disgusting offensive bigotry.

I sang Why Am I Arrested, Human Sewage and I wish I was dead with all loud drumming required on the walls – which went through the whole building I now know tehehehehe.  Some young people in other cells made comment about me ‘that protester’, also came to look at me through the window when one of them was wandering around.  Said something about me being Crazy – not me the crazy one dumarse – sometimes young people grrrrrrrr.

After singing revolting old white guy guard came to tell me I was embarrassing myself – trying to degrade me – oppressive and wanting to make me feel even more marginalised.  Again, lucky I know these sorts of tactics and can shake off most of their shit – but always a bit that sticks and makes you feel like shit.  Those are the comments that go on a loop in your head when you sink down into the well/darkness and consider all the good reasons you should kill youself.  I’m sure I’ll have to deal with that in the next few weeks – I’m sure there will be fallout from Thursday’s meltdown.

Then the arsehole said I was up next, ie first after lunch,  They called out 4 names before I STARTED LOOPING OUT – I was so distressed and so cold started losing it, started ticking by banging my whole body back against the door making a really loud noise, felt sooo good, calms me, its like a heartbeat and because its so violent on your whole body you can’t think of the anything else and it calms down the ‘panic attack’ you about to have – that happened later when outside.  Telling someone something is going to happen and then it not happening is another psychological torture method and what the guard in Wellington did.  An abuse and perversion of power – it is very common but should not be tolerated in people working in police etc. (Have found out since guards were pissed off with delays too, it was court staff who delayed my appearance – same court staff I gave shit to recently for not providing CCTV footage.)

Guard came along trying to get me to stop, turned the fan on full blast so I was even colder, turned the light on and off several times.  I was freaking out because of what had been happening and him lying to me, then he didn’t know what to do when I started freaking out more than he expected and the judge knows about it, cause the whole building can hear me.  If I’m causing that much fuss, then he has failed his job and EVERYBODY knows it.

I knew bus back to Carterton was at 1pm and it was 12, I got out at 1pm, with no time to walk to the bus stop 10 mins away.

My old public defence lawyer Susie turned up, which was a welcome sight as I was in full freak out mode pacing around the cell.  She spoke to the judge when i was up, told judge not-guilty and case now set down for 25 June.  They kept saying the police don’t oppose bail – because this is the third time I havn’t turned up for court and violated my bail conditions.  Of course police don’t oppose bail – that might be a bit much considering they put me here – they wouldn’t want to be reminded of what they have done grrrrrrr.  Police prosecutor in court looked ashamed, wouldn’t look at me.

After Susie spoke I made sure I had my say, without following any rules – except trying not to swear, it was pretty obvious I was really pissed off and really freaked out.  Not many people get to address the judge like I do but there was NO WAY I was leaving that courtroom without her knowing about Geneva Healthcare refusing me OT services and still not having a lawyer – which Susie told her anyway.  It was Judge Morris, I Know her and she knows my situation quite well, was still all I could do not to swear at her for allowing this to go on for years.  Like I said, I have never hurt anyone, they hurt me.

I reakon they left me until last so there weren’t many people in the gallery, they don’t like the public seeing me go through the system because I have no respect for the judge or the process and give them shit – using their own laws.  Quoted Magna Carta several times and reminded her I said two weeks ago when I saw here I wasn’t voluntarily participating in teh justice process until I had health care I need and lawyer I need.

They know at court making me wait stresses me out – they’ve accommodated this aspect of my disability before – why not now, when I’m in an even more stressful situation do they now ignore it?  They could have changed the order, they knew I was going to arrive the night before. grrrr, will be bringing this all up in my complaints to police AGAIN – that they will never listen to but I have to do because nobody else does grrrrrrrrr.

Told court staff to go get my painting and bag etc because I would not be going to the police station to pick them up like last time – I don’t want to see those motherfuckers at the moment – especially that dark headed bitch on reception.

Waited in the bail room, at least slightly warmer, but I was chilled to the bone.  NEK MINIT started crying uncontrollably, that heartbroken cry where you can’t even close your mouth and you dribble onto the ground in front of you as you sit there rocking, wailing, in such emotional pain.  Your heart smashed to pieces by what you are being put through for asking for health care and justice you entitled to, for throwing paint on a white ribbon banner after being assaulted and threatened by police  – plus knowing just how cruel and corrupt your government and so many others are.

Was let out, almost ran out of the court, got outside took two steps, stood there shaking, thinking – I had missed the bus, I was now extremely upset and would have to go to the park, find something sharp and spend the next few hours self-harming until next bus to Carterton.  Didn’t have anyone I could call to pick me up.

I became completely overwhelmed, my arms gave way & I dropped my paintings signs & bag just as my legs gave way from under me and I ended up on the footpath curled up in a ball on my side.  I managed to sit up and started rocking and wailing/crying loudly – in a way that would make my broken heart feel some sort of relief from what had just happened to me.  I wasn’t there long and a woman came along and one of the guards from court came out.  They were both very nice, the woman was from Te Hauora, I been screwed over by them several times, so I was scared of her, but when she offered me a ride home I had to ignore that and say yes – I had to get home – my homing beacon was on full strength and causes me huge stress if I don’t listen to it.  I wanted to be where nobody could see me melting down, it is so humiliating when it happens – it has only been this bad four other times in 15 years.

I couldn’t keep my mouth shut with the woman, I tried, I didn’t want to tell her anything, but all my biggest fears and worries were just tumbling out of my mouth, just like the anger does when I go ‘tourettes’.  I kept saying sorry, it was OK, it didn’t matter, I just wanted to go home etc.  She asked all the usual questions about a doctor etc, told her I don’t have a doctor and why – that I havnt’ seen one for over 2 years (1 for WINZ form last year doesn’t count).  Think she was pretty horrified at how unwell and unsupported I was, told her a little about not trusting Te Hauora.  I didn’t’ have any bread or milk at home, was crying about how poor I was and how tired I was of being poor and there of course was not point in living in this shit hole country. etc etc.  She gave me $20 I refused – I HATE CHARITY – she demanded I take it, I HATE PEOPLE WHO DEMAND I TAKE CHARITY, and from an organisation that has ensured I was taken advantage of and traumatised by a flatmate under their care, denied me care themselves and let me down when I was really unwell.  A friend in the community who worked for Te Hauora for a short time told me what they thought of me, that lots of people had tried to help me, I just didn’t want help.  FUCKING SCUMBAG FUCKING LYING PIECES OF FUCKING GARBAGE.  Same people I have made complaints about that were covered up and not dealt with you mean.  They a big part of the bigoted rumour mill round here.

I’m sure the only reason I had that horrendous meltdown is the cold, it was like being tortured.  It has left me feeling tearful and very very fragile, I don’t want to go out anywhere –  I can’t anyway I”m so broke.  I’m hoping I don’t get a backlash in a few days, sometimes that can happen and I get highly suicidal and all the oppressive degrading things staff did/said will come back to haunt me.

At least Susie and even Judge Morris acknowleged that I had been punished and suffered in custody – which is why of course I wasn’t prosecuted for breaching bail ($2,000 fine & 1 yr in prison is what they threaten on bail form for violations).  Given I had sent them an email Thursday last week saying I was both mentally incapable due to my disorder and refused to attend, asking them not to make me into a criminal – they did anyway.

One thing pissed me off about Te Hauora lady, she spent at least 5mins telling me to take medication for my anxiety – WTF.  Terrorised women are being put on medications to deal with teh inhuman and unsafe living situations they are being forced to endure by the government.  Its sick, deeply deeply disturbing, immoral, unethical, unprofessional and ILLEGAL.  I also explained I was a rescuer and helped lost souls pass over to the light, I was told by spirit not to take medication or it would affect my ability to protect myself spiritually.  She didn’t say anything after that – Maori understand spirituality a lot better than Pakeha thank God.  They have a lot more respect for spiritual people as well – most Pakeha ridicule us – sad considering our entire legal system is based on christian principles of fairness justice and us being all the same before God irrelevant of our wealth and status on earth.

I’m having a chill out day today, my daughter is taking me out for brunch for mother’s day which will be nice.  Will try and stay in the present and not feel bad about the fact I can’t afford to take myself out for brunch or anybody else.  I will barely be able to afford to buy my daughter a present, its her birthday soon – my life would have been so different if I had health care and help I needed to return to work after I was raped.  Fkn scumbag government, fkn terrorist murderers 🙁

My back is hurting, so trying to not do anything more to strain that after the trip over Rimutakas in truck, feels like a lower disc wants to move and I know what that means – not being able to sit down at all, only being able to walk around slowly or lay down and in agony for days.  Its happened before.  Obviously justice transport not designed for older people with aches pains & injuries.

People ask me why do I do this to myself, I can assure you it is actually helping me, it is very hard being really unwell at home on my own, its far more stressful than protesting and getting arrested.  I get food I don’t have to pay for, hot drinks, to talk to interesting different people who understand more about failings of mental health system than anybody else – police.

Some police are OK & actually respect what I am trying to do with my mental health advocacy work –  trying to get a better journey through teh system for people who have traumatic stress disorders.  I can assure everybody I DO NOT TRUST THE POLICE and nobody reading this should either – their are some real nasty pieces of work amongst them & most/all of the others will cover it up.  As nice as some are there are others who are fkn aresholes and they all sit back and allow shit to happen. Wouldn’t even be surprised if the cold transport was for my benefit – I would assume the new truck would have had heating.  Police trying all those psychological torture tactics perhaps – when constable French said you’ll see how bad police can be, is this what he meant?


NZ Human Rights Universal Periodic Review Consultation Wellington

Arrived at Victoria University for the event, people from Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade organising it.  Was desperate to find someone I could talk to about getting protection from police as a Civil Society Actor.   Started talkng to this woman Sally, was upset, she told me she had been involved in human rights sector for years.  I challenged her that it was people like her who had caused the human rights issues we now had, that I now had.

She became very passive aggressive to the point of creepy, they bought me a young woman from Human Rights Commission & I immediately moved away from her like I was frightened – I can’t help it, its a reaction to all the times they have not helped me & hurt me – after all those years begging for their help and being discredited, ignored and having police etc attack me for it.

I wasn’t in a good place so I couldn’t talk to them – there’s no point – I know there is no point after 15 years.  Only place I am ever going to get help is the United Nations, HRC are set up to protect the government and New Zealand’s reputation – they even say that in their promotion of the event.  They say they trying to protect NZs reputation BLATANTLY – groan.

Sally & another woman couldn’t/woudn’t believe what has been happening with police, mental health, ACC and the justice system.  When I said about throwing the paint on White Ribbon banner in police station and chalking swastika on building Sally became really weird.  Apparently NOBODY is allowed to use that symbol etc etc, (she also called me Sweetie one part of it).  I asked her if she knew how the HUman Rights Act came about, she said she did.  When I my use of that symbol was to represent gross violations of my rights and I had every right to use it, she kept saying I wasn’t – so did the young HRC woman.   I tried to explain about people being driven to self-harm, violence, addiction suicide etc due to human rights violations by our government – she didn’t want to know.  NAZIs did it to people, in 21st century govt has worked out how to drive people to doing it themselves.  NZ has highest rate of woman self-harming in the world.

I told her she was trivialising and discrediting what was happening to me and 10,000s of other mentally injured abuse victims with her ‘extreme’ reaction to me using the swastika.  She said she wasn’t -but she was.  She was incredibly patronising and behaving really oddly, other people came around.  I knew it was time to end the conversation when people start reacting like that.  So I headed into the lecture theatre to sit down, a very dark skinned woman with braids had been listening and tried to stop me, she asked the man standing near the door to stop me from entering.  I wasn’t having any of that so just went around him, while he was trying to work out why I would be stopped.  Lots of practice & a complete lack of respect for govt officials gives you the strength to ignore them.

I also told Sally I was human sewage and she kept telling me I wasn’t, over and over again.  I said I wasn’t asking her opinion on it, I knew how I was being treated, I was a poet and song-writer and had written a song about it, I knew I was human sewage.  Her reaction was very strange.

I got in the meeting – about 50 people – mostly from agencies WHO HAVE BEEN CAUSING THESE HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUES – groan.  I had begged for help from EVERY ONE OF THEM and been told they don’t deal with individual cases – question is how do they represent human rights violations if they refuse to talk to the people having their rights violated.  Some of them loved the sound of their own voices.  The people running it were middle class ignorant people, obviously doing very well pretending we have human rights in New Zealand and staying ignorant to what is really happening.

By this stage the organisers were in a flap, outside, Sally came in and proceeded to tell me I had to leave – I looked at her and said NO.  Yes apparently I had to leave by order of Victoria University Security because I was trespassed.  WTF – I was shocked, don’t remember being given a trespass order by them, even though did have an altercation with security during a chalk protest outside couple of years ago.  Police were called, but nothing came of it.

So spoke up in front of everybody and told them what was happening, started crying, told the room of people they were trying to have me removed, that I just wanted to stay – it was related to my LEGAL non-violent protests and I needed to stay to find out what to do to get protection and justice.  I asked them to back me up, only 2 people did, the organiser up the front went out and had a talk to security, came back in and whispered I could stay.  They don’t realise there would have been NO WAY they would have got me out of there without police arresting me – NO WAY.

What a way to start the consultation meeting – with such a blatant violation of my human and civil rights.  Sally came back in the room and tried to sit beside me – I asked her to go away several times, she refused.  She moved a few seats away from me, but came closer at one point – she was making me feel really uncomfortable and was even turned towards me.  I just tried to ignore her.  Why would someone sit beside you, when you obviously didn’t like them or want them there – it was really really creepy & I will be making a complaint about her inappropriate behaviour.  An ex-social worker – groan, some of those people are very mentally disturbed – passive aggressive & DO NOT like being challenged – they just want people saying nice things about them.

We went around the room with microphone, most people were talking about violations of human rights against mentally ill people – but from an advocacy perspective.  Got to me and I did it from my perspective.

Took some notes, supported people when they said things I know to be true – groaned, closed my eyes and shook my head when I heard BULLSHIT from people who had no idea what they were talking about.

Talked to a couple of people afterwards about what going on with police, everything they suggested I had tried.  They were shocked at what was going on – because obviously they don’t come into contact with people like me – but I had phoned every one of those organisations (eg Amnesty & UN NZ group and been told to go away, they didn’t want to know about individual cases.  Not the exact person I was speaking to, but others.)

Left & went to Parliament was upset about what had happened – they had actually tried to have me removed from that very important meeting on how to approach United Nations about human rights abuses I was being subjected to. WTF.  And that woman Sally had acted really strangely – I’m sure a psychitarist would be able to explain her disturbing behaviour, especially about sitting next to me when I asked her not to – what was that?

At parliament I sat there mostly just crying & upset in front of my signs, my biggest sign was WORTHELESS SUICIDAL ABUSE VICTIM, PLEASE KILL ME – that’s how I felt.  A nice couple of tourists came up to me and asked why there was so much suicide in New Zealand.  So I told them why, was thinking later how I should do a VLOG about it.  They completely understood about how NZers were so looked after by their government but after neo-liberalism they were terrorised by them.

I asked their nationality as I couldn’t pick it – the were Isralie – there was another person their listening as well – an American, she agreed with everything I was saying about neo-liberalism government etc – was ashamed of Trump.  I said how I didn’t really understand the conflicts in their region and was focused on my own country, didn’t believe it was anything really to do with me on the other side of the world.  I did say I knew they had serious issues of allocation of resources like water and places to grow food, which I am sure was fuelling their problems.

As we talked it was apparent in New Zealand the poorest are denied a safe place to live and access to land required to grow food.  They have welfare & homes for disabled in Israel – so does New Zealand, but I said how they had taken many away and even though they gave you just enough to live, rents were skyrocketing and payments weren’t.  I also commented that even though there was welfare you were degraded & hated in teh community when you had to rely on it.  Even your own family were ashamed of you.

An Indian man from MSD (sounded like a senior executive the way he was talking) came along, he was nice and wanted to get me help.  First thing he asked me is if it was MSD who were not helping me.  I assured him my WINZ case manager was one of my biggest support people, she was an amazing person and was often upset she couldn’t get me ACC care and mental health services I was entitled to.  He was relieved – he checked about three more times, he was nice & went into Parliament to try and get me to see an MP – once he heard how serious my situation was.  He never came back, I told him they wouldnt’ see me, they were all scared of me but he could try if he wanted to.  I told them I was in contact with them and nothing had changed.

Then DAVE came over – Dave is one of the older security guards I DO NOT LIKE after a couple of incidents which were grossly unfair.   Apparently people had been in to complain to security about me and several had called police – WTF – what he said came across as a threat – hell it is a threat, but that’s the abusive process at the moment – that’s what all those people in suicide prevention have done – turned suicidal people into CRIINALS.  I know how to get out of having police or mental health called, there no way they going to commit me in a million years.

Had a long talk with Dave, so we sort of reconciled our differences, although I cried several times and said how traumatised I was by the things he had done.  He never apologised of course.  He agreed with most of what I was saying, he also said staff had been pretty traumatised by the man who set himself alight on the lawn.

At one point there was a cameraman setting up for someone I didn’t recognised, obviously to do with a news programme of some sort.  Maybe it was about the court case of woman helping her mum suicide and my sign sort of related to that.  I know he set up so I was in teh background, but I couldn’t bare to watch TV news tonight after they went on and on about National party leadership.

Left about 3.30pm and headed home.  I have protested 100s of times now, EVERY time I go out always learn something & always meet some really interesting people.  Usually learn something about how bad the system is as well – but today was the weirdest.  Those MFAT people are completely radicalised, they truly believe people are getting what the government and laws say they are.  Thank God all our submissions will go to the United Nations, I’ll make one to MFAT by 21st June 2018, but I know they will ignore it – as they ignore all my submissions on human rights etc.

What a day – I want to encourage people with human rights and other injustice issues TO BE IDLE NO MORE – GET OUT IN THE WORLD, OUT IN THE STREET, it is essential if we want things to change.

Kia kaha & Aroha to us all.




Law Society Complaint – ACC lawyers Meredith Connell

Sent: Friday, 22 September 2017 12:46 p.m.
To: complaints@lawsociety.org.nz
Subject: Complaint about legal firm Meredith Connell & Sean Kinsler

Dear Sir/Madam,

I wish to make a formal complaint about the conduct of Sean Kinsler as agent of ACC in perverting the course of justice with regard to criminal charges I am currently facing regarding my protesting, which I am defending under NZ Bill of Rights.

Mr Kinsler firstly advised ACC to not release the real name of my case manager so she could be subpoenaed as a witness in my current court case – to prove she phoned me in 2015 and told me my care would be reinstated as it had been in 2009 and then didn’t do this.  I don’t care about the woman’s name, I have never hurt anybody, although I do wish harm to people who are terrorising and persecuting me by refusing care when I am very unwell and suffer suicidal ideology.  The also refused the police request for the true identity of the ACC case manager.

In order to argue the case for Misuse of a Telephone (for phoning ACC screaming at them to have my care reinstated when I was very unwell) my lawyer had to have a witness.  When ACC refused to provide the case manager she asked for Scott Pickering – CEO of ACC to be a witness.  With that Police and my lawyer were phoned by Sean Kinsler and threatened that if they tried to do that he would file for a judicial review immediately and my case would be delayed for a very long time.

I have already been waiting over 14 months and my case has been delayed multiple times due to our appallingly busy court system.  I have a life-threatening stress disorder, these delays and the court proceedings cause me extreme distress and significantly aggravate my disorder.  My bulimia is worse, I have started smoking again – which I find very distressing, I am not throwing up enough and eating way to much to cope so I have put on a lot of weight and believe I have developed diabetes (but I don’t have a doctor currently, so I just feel sick most days and my eyes deteriorate- I am working on trying to get a doctor).  Random ticks have returned and so have violent images of knives slicing up my forearms and bleeding out (I just love having to deal with them 10-12 times a day).  Then of course there is the suicidal nightmare of hell.  All the time with NO MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Unable to tell my family or friends how bad things are some times and just trying to keep up appearances and stay alive through it.

Mr Kinsler knows my case, he knows how unwell I am, he knows what ACC have done to me, he has seen the disclosure documents, he is not allowed to be an agent for an extremely rich and powerful government corporation to terrorise a poor disabled person.  The very essence of our law is based on protecting poor and powerless from rich and powerful persecution – and Meredith Connell are participating in it and encouraging it.  That is not the behaviour of an ethical or professional lawyer or legal firm at any time in a democracy or in the Commonwealth.

As a result of this appalling criminal perversion of justice by Mr Kinsler my lawyer was changed the approach to my case significantly and the Misuse of Telephone Charge was dropped – because ACC had been wanting to for months and I had refused, as it was the catalyst for the protests/graffiti and wilful trespass charges I was now facing.  Now the judge won’t get to hear evidence I still believe is essential to my case, although my lawyer Susie Barnes believes we have enough evidence with other charges.

I was enraged by the Misuse of Telephone Charges that started all this when police have refused to act on my multiple complaints of harm by ACC under Sections 150A 151 155 157 of the Crimes Act.  Which if proven could result in criminal charges for ACC staff.  My current lawyer believes she has uncovered appalling behaviour and actions by senior ACC staff in my case – when they knew how unwell I was.

I am also extremely annoyed my case has been delayed so many times and the complete mess the first part hearing of my case was on 29 August – that has  to come back on 31 October 2017 and even then I am told it is going to be extremely rushed.  Although my lawyer is confident I will win on the basis of reasonableness/proportionality and even police prosecutor is appalled at what ACC have done.

My lawyer and police know these proceedings are traumatic for me, they know delays like those threatened by Sean Kinsler would cause me harm, they know how desperate I am to get these things over with.  I shouldn’t even be in court I’ve already won multiple cases of wilful trespass using NZ Bill of Rights.  I shouldn’t even be in court when the process is being used to terrorise me in a punitive way – when I am a recognised disabled Civil Society Actor in the area of mental health and neo-liberalism.

I truly believe the way I am being treated by ACC and Meredith Connell is also related to my political and ethical opinions and terrorising me using police and the justice system as a form of intimidation.  It is illegal to harm someone asserting their civil and political rights, why is this happening to me and has happened multiple times before?

Westminster Statute the First – Common right be done to all rich as poor.  Magna Carta – No-one shall be destroyed and everyone shall have access to right and justice.  YEAH RIGHT!  This is a gross violation of the law and my rights!  What these people have done is illegal!

PLEASE CONTACT ME URGENTLY about this situation so I know what is going on, please advise time frames this complaint will be dealt with and please assure me this complaint isn’t going to derail my current case.  In fact it would be my assertion this needs to be sorted out immediately so my lawyer can question my ACC case manager and Scott Pickering on 31 October and get some more time allocated if required.  Why should I be denied justice because of some mercenary lawyer prepared to do anything his high paying rich violent criminal client says.



Civil Society Actor

New Zealand No 1 for homelessness in OECD

Its weird in New Zealand how it takes international organisations to highlight some of the worst social problems – while our government, media and National party voting leaders throughout our communities DENY what is going on with everything they have.

Actually its quite deranged – its why I get the abuse, insults and being discredited that I do from those in authority here.  Why no local mayor will respond to my requests for a meeting about mental health, poverty homelessness etc – yet they are often on the front page of local newspapers welcoming new people here.  In complete denial these new rich people are driving out disabled poor locals.

I never thought of Wairarapa as some sort of red-neck cauldron of hatred against poor and love of rich – but it truly is.  The kids used to call it death valley when they were teenagers – they knew – it was for them of course, after neo-liberals drove all the manufacturing jobs overseas in the 80s and 90s, they also drove most of the young out of the region and to Australia.  I know a few people who ended up in Aussie and are so much happier – mostly with how they are treated by their bosses.

Been doing a lot on twitter at the moment, conversations from all over the world, lately the UK – people can’t believe how bad it is here – they have been brainwashed into believing New Zealand is this amazing beautiful place with pristine environment, lovely people and little crime – LOL.  NZ is great at marketing of course – that’s it – after years of exploiting our environment and degrading the poorest and most vulnerable we have some of the most polluted waterways in the world, we have the highest rate of suicide and homelessness in the OECD, highest rates of family violence (due to people being terrified, stressed and forced to live in dangerous situations).

All my years of protesting in Wellington – our capital city – telling people in power (especially in our judiciary) just how bad things are for me and so many others.  I certainly don’t get the abuse from people in suits I used to get when I started 7 years ago – don’t have any health care or a safe home ot live in either – go figure.

Being charged for Misuse of a Telephone for screaming for my ACC care to be reinstated after winning two reviews, and for graffiti with a chalk pen and wilful trespass must be getting under the skin of the police by now.  Those in power in the police are so corrupt and so much part of this radicalised neo-liberal terrorism by rich of poor, I do wonder if they truly realise what they are doing.  I reakon this election is certainly hitting home to those in justice, just how they have failed New Zealands poor – who they no know are being persecuted by rich – the oldest hatred in developed world – the reason we have laws was to stop rich and powerful persecuting poor and powerless.

Still praying my health care will be restored as my physical health is deteriorating, especially with my huge increase in weight – makes me feel like shit – I try not to let it.  My mental health swings from hope to complete despair, I can see how people are driven to bi-polar, along with living in a world that says it cares for you but really it HATES you.

In New Zealand our government and leaders HATE disabled and poor people so much they deny them somewhere safe to live – where we were once heralded as the most progressive and egalitarian country in the world – now we are EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE.  The rich here have got so much richer and the hatred they continue to inflict on those THEY MADE UNEMPLOYED AND THEY DENY HEALTH CARE, WELFARE AND HUMAN RIGHTS entitlements to is so disturbing.

That’s why I get terrorised by police and many others like I do, that’s why I am denied health care I am entitled to and yet those denying it tell police and community I JUST DON’T WANT HELP.

After my protest at Min of Health couple of weeks ago I am in discussions with a senior medical officer, a nice man, A NORMAL PERSON with manners and who acts like a professional, so hopefully that will get me some care – he’s working on it.  I’m trying not to get my hopes up as when they are dashed – like they always have been in the past – the suicidal nightmare in my head is BAD, REALLY BAD – dont’ think I’ll survive it if this fails.

Am still thinking about documentary I saw by Naomi Klein called The Shock Doctorine, the truth of how completely vile the super rich and our governments truly are is comforting for me.  All these years me and so many other New Zealanders – including my dad (who is dead now) have known something was very very wrong with our government and how they were controlling our economy/lives – all of us placated and told it wasn’t true, that government weren’t doing that to us at all.  That government had to do this to us, had to sell off all our public owned assets, had to privatise everything, had to exploit our environment until it was polluted and our kids got sick swimming in the rivers.  We were all so naive and so brainwashed, especially by those we knew who were doing OK and those in our news media.  Watching TV 1 adverts for how great their news is, how honest and local it is, how it tells the truth and covers all the angles – when I’m sitting here knowing they censor everything I know say and do and what is happening to me for legally protesting.

Watching the deceit and marketing coming from our media about suicide is the hardest thing to watch – knowing they are pushing suicidal people into services that are going to degrade, abuse and persecute them even more.  On Wednesday last week, stupid me, yet again phoned media begging them to tell my story and everything that was happening in Wairarapa – why we were NO 1 in NZ for suicide.  Had this woman from Newshub (Radio Live, TV 3 etc) (sure I’ve spoken to the revolting bitch before) on the phone encouraging me to talk, to start with I said I wouldn’t because she would call the police.  She assured me several times she wouldn’t and she would tell my story, but of course she didn’t, she phoned police who then spent the next 3 hours terrorising and threatening me.  This is how corrupt New Zealand media are – especially when it comes to the suffering of abuse victims who can’t get care they entitled to and become suicidal.  These media people love it, love terrorising people, love driving people to suicide and creating more news for themselves – its truly sick, but that’s what radicalised neo-liberals do.

I ended up taking a new friend of mine with me to the police station because after two stupid phone calls from police I knew they would end up at my house and it wouldn’t go well.  Lucky she was with me, cause they revolting cow (who has hidden complaints in the past) on the desk got one of the policemen who assaulted me to come out.  I said I didn’t want to see or speak to him, he came out anyway, it didn’t go well, I challenged him on his threatening violence against me for legally protesting and lying about Hoera assaulting me – he just stood there.  Then I started swearing, so time to leave.  You have to go and see them if someone has phoned you about mental health because that is what the government do in order to terrorise you.  The government don’t like people who suicide, it makes them look bad and their horrendous neo-liberal ideologies they inflict on us are proven to be the persecution of poor they truly are.

All the phone numbers at the end of every news item about suicide or self-harm that I know goes absolutely nowhere – yes there is someone there telling you they’re listening but they don’t do anything.  If your situation is too much for them those poor young people with psychology degrees who can’t get jobs anywhere else just hang up on you.  Wonder how many people they hang up on every day, how many times they phone police to come round and terrorise the person.

It is terrifying when police first start being involved when your mental health gets to the extreme after years of medical neglect and ongoing trauma.  You can’t understand why you would be treated like a criminal for asking for help – especially for me, when I had read ACC law and many documents on health care I was supposed to get BUT IT WASN’T AVAILABLE.

I WISH …………………………………………..  I think everybody who reads this blog will know what I wish for.

Kia kaha to us all

Ministry of Health Wellington arrest for protesting about suicide

Guerrilla protest  mission MOH re suicide, got arrested

Guerrilla protest mission MOH re suicide, got arrested

Big day protesting in Wellington yesterday had been chickening out for weeks about doing it – but mental health was getting worse and worse I just had to let of steam about what Ministry of Health staff were doing.

Their refitted building now includes a fancy new café and security system to keep out us citizens.  Had a good audience for my rage, around 40 people around the foyer, it was lunchtime, about 12.45.  A small group of around 5 women tried to calm me down and did all the usual bullshit about having a cup of coffee.  I was  having none of that shit, I only got 10 mins before police arrive, so I’m as loud as I can be.  Wanted the police arrive to me singing and they did – Human Sewage.

I bollocked the fuck out of everybody there, called them murderers, told them they were killing my kids friends – driving them to suicide.  Screaming at them, hysterical, but the volcano had to go off some time.  I’m just speaking for me and all those I know who are unnecessarily suffering in this neo-liberal shit hole.  I talked about all the people I know who have committed suicide.

The looks on their faces was one of either guilt or complete refusal to take any responsibility for suicide and abusive mental health services.

Refused to leave the building, refused to stop yelling at them about why I was there so was arrested for Disorderly Behaviour, appropriate considering I have a stress Disorder.  Was best out of there anyway, I wouldn’t have stopped and the swearing wouldn’t have either.  Police were nice – two of them I already knew – I have am definitely infamous in Wellington for protesting.

Didn’t’ have to spend any time in the cells, was out of police custody within an hour.  Cried from when I was put in the police car, snot everywhere, was revolting.  Officer told me it is now a requirement to have handcuffs – just like America (were his words, he was an old cop, he knew it was shit for someone like me and completely unnecessary.

Got really upset several times, started ticking and rocking, backed up into the corner, when they asked questions about my doctor – when I don’t have one and the last one I had didn’t believe a thing I said.  Told them I had Complex PTSD, Sgt was bit of a jerk, telling me not to go back there or do anything else that had police called or I would spend night in the cells – WHICH I HATE – and is an illegal threat – given I hadn’t broken the law under Bill of Rights.

Gotta have a laugh with them though, threw all the laws I know at him, not me who’s the criminal – they should be charging the people at Min of Health and ACC that were denying me care I was entitled to.  Told him to charge them under Sections 150A 151 155 157 of the Crimes Act.  He ignored me of course.  They know I’m right that’s why they’re nice to me and let me go.

Left, had a cup of tea at Library Café next door and went off chalking and to meet up with a friend.  Chalked my poem MOH at Maui’s Garden and a good quote about poverty being a crime.

Was interesting watch police dealing with me, obviously there has been a bit of a discussion about how to legally.  Only got the Pre Charge Warning and let go – under Disorderly Behaviour, Sgt repeated several times it was not to be under Wilful Trespass (which I am up on charges of).  Was also issued two more trespass notices from Ombudsman and Human Rights Commission – WTF – they’re not allowed to use Trespass law to stop me protesting.  I was reading the judgement by J Williams.

Apparently I’m trespassed from about 15 different places LOL – all places who are supposed to legally help me and don’t, or who have made public comments about poor people etc.  So much for freedom of speech in New Zealand – if artists are being arrested you know things are bad.

Big shout out to Wellington Police – no comparison to the several violent arseholes that work in the Wairarapa.  I mentioned that to the officers who arrested me, a woman and man (the woman had arrested me before, I remember her).  They were nice and agreed not all officers are good people, I told them Q Hoera was a violent arsehole.

Told the Sgt wouldn’t be long and there would be 100 people like me occupying and protesting in government and justice buildings.  He didn’t look happy, I said he should be cause I was a non-violent activist who respected police that respected me and my rights to be angry about what was happening to so many.

Going to be making a legal complaint about the number of trespass notices when its a violation of my civil and political rights.  Non-violent protest, even if it is offensive (eg swearing) is a right I have under Civil Society Activism.  If I can’t get my justice issues in front of a judge, as required under Magna Carta, then I HAVE EVERY RIGHT to speak truth to power of those hurting me – AS OFTEN AS I CHOOSE TO – without threat of intimidation.


Suicide Prevention Strategy 2017 Submission

Here is the link to the strategy which needs to be read in partnership with my submission – feel free to follow my lead and do your own submission – the more the better.

Taken me all day to write and now I’m really unwell and freaking out – lucky me – kia kaha to anybody who is suicidal that going to write a submission.  Its hard but you’ve got to try.


Below is my submission – you don’t have to be as blunt and honest as I do – just tell your story and what you know to be true.  If you think there is threat of having your children taken or being forcibly incarcerated or drugged then take out all the truth about how unwell you are.  Maybe as part of your submission link it to this website/submission and say you support everything I am saying.

Kia kaha and aroha to us all


jr murphy, Civil Society Actor (traumatic stress disorder, constitutional/health law and suicide prevention policy practice lay expert).

I am writing this submission even though I have absolutely no hope anything will change for the better in mental health, in fact I know it will only get worse as the noose tightens on those with mental health issues as a result of radicalised neo-liberal economic theories being imposed on NZ society.  The opportunity for business enterprises to exploit and profit from the trauma & psychological violence being perpetrated against us by rich elites for past 30 years advancing themselves, disadvantaging majority of the population and persecuting disabled poor will only continue.  I see no end to this until significant opportunities for jobs in manufacturing industries that provide necessities like clothing, food & shelter are returned to New Zealand.  Until this happens our corrupt abusive neo-liberal governments will continue to rely on social dysfunction to create 10,000s of jobs in justice, police, prisons, health and community welfare.

For 15 years since I was raped and introduced to the mental health, welfare, disability, ACC, abuse, violence industry I have had nothing but refusal of government organisations (including NGOs and churches) to provide the professional treatment care rehabilitation and justice I read about in multiple laws and in the bible (which our laws are based upon).  For experiencing this hypocrisy and marketing phenomena, being terrorised and driven to suicide and ever worsening dysfunction I have been labelled a liar, time waster, nutter, mentally ill, nut job, attention seeker, loser, lazy and worse.

To try and discredit the severe psychological torture me (and many others I have spoken to) experience – it was even required I undergo multiple 2 hours psychological assessments.  An excellent report by head of psychiatry at Wellington Justin Barry-Walsh confirmed I am intelligent, do not have a personality disorder and am not delusional in thinking what is happening to me is psychological torture, causing me significant harm and violating my rights through criminal neglect under NZ law.

Even with multiple excellent reports from top psychiatrists like Justin and Dr Alan Doris (now living in Australia sadly) & others like Jenny Kirby and Occupational Therapist Glenda van der ven Long I am to this day refused the professional care they recommend and I beg for.  I know I am entitled to it under ACC, health, disability, criminal (Sections 150A 151 155 157 Crimes Act), Imperial, Human Rights and Bill of Rights laws as I am intelligent and can read.  I was also studying law at Victoria when mentally injured but was unable to return without ACC care I was entitled to.  My decision to study law was a result of winning two cases as a lay person and realising I was very good at understanding law and legal argument.

Years of government, justice and academic corruption by radicalised neo-liberals has created a society and industry that perpetrates abuse, violence, crime, addiction and suicide.   Having studied disability and health at Massey University it is quite obvious what government and NGOs say they do and what they actually do is completely different.  Currently our government are experimenting on disabled people with mental health issues, which is highly illegal under NZ and international (United Nations) law.  Our government are NOT implementing professional rehabilitation or health models – if you are not providing professional health care then you are experimenting on people it is very simple.  Sadly our judiciary and justice system are corrupt and work hand in hand with those denying mentally injured and ill health care and rehabilitation so they can persecute these disabled people through the courts when they have psychotic episodes and/or being desperate with nothing to lose.  In fact the continual implementation of bottom of the cliff services drives many more to the bottom and at least in prison you have a safe and stable home with people around you.


 In the 1980s neo-liberal terrorists (yes I know what this word means and I know these people terrorise disabled poor with mental health issues) started shutting mental health facilities under the guise of Human Rights.  Although this was fed to us as an enlightened era of bringing mentally ill back into the community – it was merely an extreme austerity measure against some of the most vulnerable and fragile people in our society.  Thrown into a community that despised and feared them to cause havoc – which they did.  In fact a review of Hansards shows our extensive mental health system was created because the community was persecuting and not coping with mentally injured abuse victims and mentally ill (there is a difference, although mentally ill can have mental injury).

During one of my arrests an officer told me he had been a prison guard during the 1980s and as mental health facilities were emptied prison filled up.  Statistics reported today say 80% of people in prison have mental health issues.  Although governments since the 1980s knew dumping these people into the community and refusing them care was causing so much suffering and harm to society they did nothing to stop it.   All they did was blame their victims and create more victims – which was of course was imperative to their objective of creating jobs when there were no longer the ones available in manufacturing.  While this was all happening media and governments just kept saying over and over the violence addiction dysfunction and suicide created was the communities and individuals fault – instead of the true crime being perpetrated by radicalised neo-liberals.

I am thinking at this point I have repeated myself several times – which is very similar to the absolutely pathetic, unprofessional, rhetorical Suicide Prevention Strategy I have sitting beside me.  Just like all the other reports I read on disability, mental health, human rights, justice and more – all lies from my personal experience – and those of many people I meet while living in the darklands of this neo-liberal nightmare of a country.


Neo-liberal terrorists do this in every country they invade, its not just New Zealand, I get my information from reliable first hand accounts from people/organisations/news reports all around the world, mostly UK, Australia & USA.  Terrorising people to the point of violence, addiction and suicide is condoned/encouraged and those who suffer and speak out are discredited, abused and marginalised.  Which is why I am continuously in court for legal protests and begging for health care and justice I am entitled to.


It is extremely amusing to me that people think this Strategy document actually equates into anything meaningful to anybody – except of course lots of highly paid jobs – especially in law.  It should lead to professional treatment and rehabilitation for people with mental health issues – but it doesn’t. 


Once 80% of people have experienced the degrading nightmare of mental health services they are usually too terrified to return.  I have not heard of one positive mental health experience from any of the 1000s of people I have spoken to since 2002.  I currently spend around 4-8 hours a day on social media and collecting information about mental health – in all that time not one successful outcome.  I read about them in the paper but I have never actually met anyone, although one part of the strategy demands that media only print stories of the very few well supported and mildly ill people that recover – so that would explain why.


Suicide, violence etc are known internationally as ‘social dysfunction’ – it is also well known that New Zealands adoption of radical neo-liberal economic policies has caused highest growth in inequality in the world and biggest increase in social problems in OECD – for a country that is not technically AT WAR.  (In my opinion it is at war with its own people, where greedy immoral rich have been allowed to illegally persecute vulnerable disabled poor.)


As for the highly paid players in this gross miscarriage of justice and violation of human rights, it is a job and they have to keep it because they won’t get anything else.  This is what happens in a neo-liberal low wage economy – this is what governments want to happen and their refusal to accept the violent, immoral and criminal consequences of that proves what intelligent people have known for centuries.


In fact it is the basis of Westminster Law as pointed out by Judge Davidson in referring to Imperial Laws Application Act 1988.  Westminster Statute the 1st states: Common right be done to all rich as poor.  Which of course in the 11the century would have been the only way leaders would have got poor peasants to follow laws.  I even now contend in court that I do not have to follow NZ law because Westminster Statute is not being adhered to.  Although inequality is not a violation of human rights in itself – taking a country from one of equality to one of inequality by advancing rich and persecuting disabled poor is! 


The second law is the Magna Carta, another sham violated even more by 30 years of neo-liberal terrorism.  “No-one shall be destroyed and everyone shall have access to right and justice.”  Given I have been destroyed for over 15 years by being denied the health care and justice I am entitled to I know this law is being ignored.  Ask any criminal or civil legal aid lawyer if everybody has the right to justice and they will confirm people do not.


I also am well aware of the other laws I quote, I can read, I’m intelligent according to reports, I live this nightmare of hell and I talk to others around me suffering just the same – men women and children.  I often challenge leaders and public servants to having a 2 hour psychiatric assessment and coming out with the same outcomes as mine about their intelligence, psychological diagnosis and if they are in fact delusional. 


In the Wairarapa we have a seriously disturbed psychopath running mental health as acting head for over a decade.  Everybody knows he is mentally disturbed, I have had other hospital staff, police, lawyers, counsellors and multiple mentally ill people say the same thing.  I made complaints about Andrew Curtis-Cody and was insulted, ignored, discredited and degraded by DHB members, mental health staff, politicians and complaints organisations.  Wairarapa has the highest rate in New Zealand for compulsory treatment orders and forced psychotropic medication – the highest rate of psychotropic drug abuse in New Zealand and NOBODY can challenge this criminally negligent psychopath who is killing people.  I say it how it is and get persecuted by police and denied ALL HEALTH CARE.  As I write this I know those reading it won’t believe me, but I can assure you I DO NOT have a mental health issue that involves paranoia, delusions or lying – I just tell the truth based on what I see, know, study and experience.


I will go through the Stategy page by page to finish this submission and I have also attached links to multiple documents that show EXACTLY the type of services and rehabilitation models that should be applied and followed in New Zealand, especially those that cater to our unique Kiwi culture (eg Whare Tapa Wha).  In the strategy and in my dealings with mental health and those in authority the CULTURE of Pakeha New Zealanders who have been here for generations is not recognised.  Apparently only people from other countries or who are Maori or have brown skin have a culture. 


The culture of rich neo-liberal terrorist Pakeha is not my culture and I know from extensive study that New Zealand is in the grips of a class war, not a race war.  Because of the terror, homelessness, austerity & media bias against poor and massive stress and pressure put on middle class, racism is a natural result.  Again it is happening in every neo-liberal country and extensively covered by international news media – mainstream media of course don’t cover WHY people are becoming racist.


I know from my own studies of basic instinct and history that people having their resources stolen by foreigners, which has happened for thousands of years, will fight for their land, homes and enough food to eat.  It is in our DNA to hate outsiders/foreigners who take these things from us.  Neo-liberals have ignited in 100,000s of people their most basic instincts, due to constant job, housing and food insecurity.  Most poor disabled people like myself are forced to move at least every 2 years, move away from their neighbours, friends, support networks, family etc.  Then of course there is the cost of the constant moves due to neo-liberals ensuring housing was another form of income for the rich after driving 100,000s decent manufacturing jobs to poor countries with few human rights.


Now I will go through strategy and make comment on this horrendous, repetitive and grossly deceitful document.


DRAFT STRATEGY FOREWORD by John Crawshaw, criminal.  If I could get lawyer I am entitled to I would take a private prosecution against Mr Crawshaw.  My complaints to police about ACC and mental health staff such as John Crawshaw are discredited and ignored – they too are corrupt and refuse to act on Sections 150A 151 155 157 of the Crimes Act, which I know for a fact are being violated in my case and I have all the proof. 


Every police officer I have ever met while protesting agrees with my protests, they know what is going on, some are very nice to me, because often I am extremely distraught, but some see my weakness and degrade and persecute me further – to the point of violent assault last year.  I have multiple complaints with IPCA which are waiting to be actioned after I have been through court for the current 7 charges.  I have made formal complaints about head of IPCA David Carruthers who has allowed this victimisation and vindictive behaviour by some local police to continue and terrorise me.


It is quite obvious from news reports and ever increasing rates of psychotropic and illegal drug use and suicide that all suicide prevention strategies have been a failure, saying more needs to be done is the same thing elites have said for years, while they don’t apply the most basic health models.  In fact governments make welfare, housing and access to health care even more difficult for poor – just like all neo-liberal controlled societies.  Please refer to my website www.jrmuphypoet.com and song Oh Lord I Wish I Was Dead, which I wrote not long after the last round of neo-liberal austerity against poor on welfare (mostly disabled abuse victims from my research).  Almost exactly a year later John Tully was driven mad and shot two WINZ workers during a psychotic episode, after years of begging for help and being homeless etc.  The extreme and violent response by government has led to even more terrorised and violent people flipping out at WINZ offices – welfare has been made the most degrading hell on earth – mostly by Paula Bennett who had so much provided by the state she ended up as a very powerful politician.  It is extremely distressing that a woman such as this (and John Key who came from a State House) is instrumental in withdrawing and denying me the help I am entitled to and desperately need.  Not only that, she is instrumental in turning media and the majority of population against people like me.  I experience discrimination in my community almost every day, including friends and family.  Its one of the reasons I have become so isolated.


John Crawshaw is delusional if he believes there has been progress, there has only been worsening of conditions in my experience and the hundreds of people I know.


The idea that the community should work together to prevent suicide is corruption on a grand scale.  What Crawshaw is saying is neo-liberal terrorists created a society with high unemployment and ever increasing marginalising of poor by increasing costs in health, housing, food etc – which in turn causes unnecessary suffering, violence, addiction and suicide and our ‘community’ should fix the harm our government have caused (and they can only fix).


 We are all victims, whether perpetrators or victims of the violence inequality and neo-liberalism has caused.  Those in power have done an excellent job in just blaming their victims of course – irrelevant of the facts and science.


Those government and non-government agencies who have been contributing to suicide policy over the past 30 years are getting paid to follow the government line and cover up what I am exposing in yet another government submission.  These people make light of how corrupt, abusive, unprofessional, immoral and incompetent the current mental health, welfare and justice system are because they get paid to – they are threatened with losing their funding or jobs if they tell the truth.  Groups who do speak out are shut down, their funding withdrawn and discredited by the government.  (Threats Alfred Ngaro made recently against Willie Jackson are happening in ACC and mental health services on a daily basis.)


Recently I was chalking outside Ministry of Health about how they were murderers and purposely causing suicide.  A staff member came out from the building and stood there in tears, telling me I was right.  She said she couldn’t say anything about how bad things were because of her employment contract.  Changes to employment contracts we all know were implemented by radicalised neo-liberals.


 They talk of views and advice in the development of this strategy but they never talk of professional multi-disciplinary rehabilitation or health models – which is what it should be about.  Imagine if we treated Cancer or heart disease the same as we treated mental health issues (especially traumatic stress disorders and neglect).

The people John Crawshaw refers to as participating in the Strategy are the very people who degrade, reject, discriminate against, insult, persecute and psychologically torture me and others every day.  Around 20% of these people know what is going on and do their best, the rest participate in this gross miscarriage of justice.  People turn on you when you can’t get help and are extremely desperate, they have to blame the person, if they didn’t they would have to admit those in power are cruel immoral and corrupt.


Most people working in suicide prevention know for a fact suicidal people are often in unsafe unstable living situations, with inadequate food and resources, no decent jobs and no appropriate or adequate mental health services they are entitled to by law.  Of course you are suicidal if you have no hope for the future – I have no hope for the future, my future will be one of continued moving, violent abusive flatmates who rip me off, continuous fear of homelessness and watching poor people around me suffer and die.  While I become more alienated from my family and those in my community who are doing OK.  That’s what its like living in the darklands of this neo-liberal nightmare of a country.

John Crawshaw is corrupt, incompetent, ignorant and delusional, he participates in driving people to suicide because he gets paid a lot of money to do so.  He is disliked by his staff – because I have spoken to them on several occasions.  He has phoned me at home 6pm one night saying I would receive services – I received none.  I have phoned him around 6 times in past 10 years, he just keeps saying there are services when I say there are none and I cannot access any that are there either.

This is the person writing a forward to a suicide prevention strategy when he is instrumental in denying people professional health/rehab models so they don’t suicide.  I have done multiple protests outside his office in Wellington, told people he was a murderer and a criminal – the response from those in Treasury (where his office is) was to put on their website how they worked for ALL New Zealanders – which of course those of us in the darklands knows is a complete lie.

The government don’t want to pay for the professional care disabled mentally injured abuse victims and mentally ill are entitled to by law.  They have purposely corrupted ACC so they had more money to spend on investment and shares – rather than adhere to their responsibilities under ACC and other laws.  Essentially suicidal abused men women and children are paying for investment in banks, foreign companies, dams etc.  What I am saying is true and can be verified by any extensive google search of news items, facts figures, reports etc.  I spend most of my day doing this because I am intelligent, like to keep busy and my brain occupied, don’t want to die and want to alleviate the unnecessary suffering I see all around me.


As blatant as it can be stated “suicidal behaviour is a sign of great distress” and yet everybody avoids the link between neo-liberal terrorist ideologies – that cause this suffering everywhere they go and the increase in suicide and severely traumatised men women and children.  I’m 52, we didn’t have this when I was young – although I do acknowledge some of the mental health facilities back then were highly abusive and full of poorly qualified and often mentally disturbed psychopaths (just like Andrew Curtis-Cody).

Human Rights Review Tribunal refused to take a case against ACC and mental health on my behalf because I WAS MENTALLY ILL – that medical neglect, illegal withdraw of essential services was the cause of my worsening mental health and suicidality was denied. I did get some professional help in 2009, was supposed to be for 2 ½ yrs, National got in and cut everything after 6 mths against the advice of all health professional I was working with – and my desperate pleas not too.  I don’t want to go into the damage removing my 12 hours per week care and multi-disciplinary team have caused as I will self harm and become highly suicidal – this is just another severe unresolved trauma that fuels my Compounding Complex PTSD.


I was extremely disturbed to see on Sunday TVNZ 28 May a young man Harry from Christchurch, who quite obviously had Complex PTSD with suicidal ideology was diagnosed as DEPRESSED.  Like calling someone depressed somehow makes everything OK when they kill themselves, or crawl under their beds and can’t come out for weeks at a time.  I have come to hold the opinion there is no such thing as depression – or perhaps it only relates to people who want to kill themselves for no good reason, I of course have every good reason and so did Harry. 


I can’t put here all the damage and alienation from family and community not receiving the health care I am entitled to has caused over the past 15 years.  One day I hope to list all the funerals and family events I have missed, all the people I have taken to airport for overseas holidays, all the events I have missed with friends due to poverty or disability, the relationships with my nieces and nephews that never flourished, etc etc.

The Strategy sets out a framework but it is never put into practice, as part of this submission I refer to my website www.jrmurphypoet.com, my rehabilitation model Fence At The Top Of The Cliff and business plan for Mental Injury Services.  I also refer to my Regional Rehabilitation Centres and Regional Mental Health Facilities postings – all services that should already be happening but are not.  My ex-counsellor told me there were several houses for abused women like me to heal around New Zealand prior to 1980s neo-liberal invasion of our country, they were all shut down by DHBs and government austerity in health sector.  Those that are left are highly reliant on psychotropic drugs, 80% of which are internationally condemned as being used to abuse suicidal and mentally ill people rather than help them.  It is well known that top government advisors (eg foreigner Mark Unsworth) were part of global network of drug companies that corrupted government by saying drugs are cheaper than professional health care, safe housing and adequate welfare in area of mental health – they are not.

The broader view those who wrote this strategy say they take is an extremely ignorant, narrow, bigoted and negligent view – they don’t see suicide as a social issue directly related to neo-liberal inequality and terrorism of poor by rich.  Yet international media and TED talks refer to New Zealands appalling social problems since neo-liberal ideologies were introduced.  (Not sure if I have repeated myself as many times as the strategy yet, but I must be getting close.)


 The mental health sector and our community are the most significant contributors to suicide in New Zealand.  The most ignorant bigots and worst discrimination I experience are at hands of health professionals and politicians who don’t do what all these strategies, reports and laws say they do.

My criticism of this pile of marketing rhetoric is also a criticism of the government working group and all those who have contributed to the strategy and ensuring the highest rate of suicide for our young in the OECD.   Highest rate of self-harm in women from last reports I saw.  Government neo-liberals cause and allow so much persecution of disabled mentally injured abuse victims and mentally ill is the reason these statistics are what they are.  I know it, most people I know are aware of it, while our leaders, mental health staff, justice staff, politicians and others being paid by the government are mostly in denial of it (except of course that lady who cried outside Ministry of health).  International law would suggest participating in the persecution of vulnerable minorities because you are ordered to by government is not a defence in crimes against people like myself.  When I think of the government employees who have ignored my please for health care and justice I am entitled to under law I am horrified and truly hope to hold these people to account in a high court of New Zealand.

TERMS USED – Here is a list of terms I use, that I made up several years ago, they come from the Oxford Dictionary I bought in first year law at Victoria, the year before I was raped sodomised and person who admitted it was found not guilty.

Oxford dictionary definitions that describe New Zealand leadership and human rights violations being perpetrated against disabled abused people on welfare.

Authoritarian = favouring or enforcing strict obedience to authority at the expense of personal freedom (tick)

Bully = a person who deliberately intimidates or persecutes those who are weaker (tick)

Corrupt = adj 1. Willing to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain. (tick) evil or morally depraved (tick) 3. Rotten or putrid (tick) v. 1. Cause to become corrupt (tick) 2. Debase by making errors (tick) 3. Infect, contaminate (tick)

Cruelty = cruel behaviour or attitudes (tick) law – behaviour which causes physical or mental harm to another, whether intentional or not (tick)

Degrade = 1. Cause to suffer a severe loss of dignity or respect (tick) demean (tick) lower the character or quality of (tick)

Degrading = causing a loss of self-respect (tick) humiliating (tick)

Discriminate = 2. Make an unjust distinction in the treatment of different categories of people (tick), especially on the grounds of culture (tick), disability (tick) or age (tick)

Ill-treatment = act cruelly towards (tick)

Intimidate = frighten or overawe (tick)

Oppress = 1. Keep in subjection and hardship (tick) 2. Cause to feel distressed or anxious (tick)

Oppressive = 1. Harsh and authoritarian (tick) 2. Weighing heavily on the mind or spirits (tick)

Retribution = punishment inflicted in the spirit of moral outrage or personal vengeance (tick)

Persecute = 1. Subject to prolonged hostility and ill-treatment (tick) 2. Persistently harass or annoy (tick)

Subjection = 1. Cause or force to undergo (tick) 2. Bring under one’s control or jurisdiction, typically by force (tick)

Torment = severe physical or mental suffering (tick) – a cause of torment (tick) 1. Subject to torment (tick) 2. Annoy or tease unkindly (tick)

Torture = 1. The action or practice of inflicting severe pain as a punishment or a forcible means of persuasion (tick) 2. Great suffering or anxiety (tick) – subject to torture (tick)

Torturous = characterized by pain or suffering (tick)

Please also refer to professional terms used in rehabilitation and health, for example, impairment related to disability and how it is a legal requirement that these impairments be accommodated if possible.


SUICIDAL BEHAVIOUR DOES NOT AFFECT ANYONE and DOES DEPEND ON THEIR BACKGROUND AND LIFE EXPERIENCES.  It does have a single cause – loss of all hope.  It is caused by compounding unresolved trauma because the persons current environment does not allow for healing or acceptance.

Outlining why people become suicidal when we all know how government have spent the past 30 years worsening our living environments is extremely disturbing.  Governments refusing to provide homes for abused disabled and poor has created this, it is in this report and yet nothing is being done about it through the courts under violations of imperial, acc, health, disability, criminal, human rights and bill of rights laws. 


The justice system set up that is supposed to protect disabled and poor from excesses and persecution by rich and powerful have been grossly undermined and corrupted – that includes the United Nations avenues for justice.  According to Human Rights Tribunal staff the New Zealand public are well aware of the increasing human rights violations against disabled and poor and choose this, so there is nothing they can do.  Of course very few people know this persecution and gross miscarriage of justice is happening – those that do are criminals and those who do not know are ignorant most like it that way.  If New Zealanders knew what I did about how corrupt and criminally negligent our health and justice systems were in relation to disabled mentally injured abused men women and children THEY WOULD NOT ALLOW IT TO CONTINUE AND WOULD DEMAND THE PEOPLE DOING IT BE INVESTIGATED BY POLICE AND PROSECUTED IN A COURT OF LAW.

How suicidal behaviour can be prevented

Suicidal behaviour has one cause in New Zealand, negligence and corruption by government agencies and there is a single solution – to provide the professional treatment care rehabilitation and justice people are entitled to under multiple New Zealand laws.

What we do need is professional rehabilitation models applied and all the other things disabled people are entitled to.


What we don’t need around New Zealand is well meaning, poorly informed, uneducated, issue ridden, often mentally unwell people in the community providing treatment care rehabilitation and justice to disabled mentally injured and ill people.


Promising appropriate support while denying people professional support is extremely disturbed and psychopathic behaviour – something a person like Paula Rebstock is extremely good at and why she was employed, paid extreme amounts of money and was made a Dame by our government.


All current activities in the area of suicide prevention are aimed at rejecting and/or persecuting suicidal people.  Those who are suicidal for good reason are particularly despised and refused all services – I have been hung up on multiple times by telephone suicide help lines, as soon as they hear my situation the poorly qualified and often unwell people who man them hang up.  I find those numbers now on end of every news item on suicide to be extremely inappropriate and neo-liberal propaganda brainwashing people who aren’t suicidal into believing there are actually services for people – when I know there are not.  It is not a service when it is abusive, unprofessional and does not do what it says.


Having spent years being suicidal and discredited and abused for it I know there are no services.  I have seen it in so many other people as well and we see it in news reports all the time how people have been suicidal and attempted it and failed many times before they succeed.  It is also well documented that the people most least wanted as neighbours are mentally ill people.  We are happy with well functioning foreigners but not disabled New Zealanders driven to suicide and dysfunction by trauma, abuse and neglect.  And when those around them persecute them even more by beating them and their children, or they are driven to drugs, then they are despised, rejected and marginalised even further.  Ahhh living in the darklands of New Zealand, is a nightmare no person in a poor country would understand.  To be surrounded by wealth and happy people while you are suffering and destitute is a most bizarre and terrifying experience.


I see they have put a pretty model on Page 5, that actually means nothing, achieves nothing and I find pathetic, unprofessional and insulting.  On my solutions page at www.jrmurphypoet.com you will see my Fence At the Top of the Cliff, which is of course what needs to happen, is completely relevant and does what this entire report does not – its practical and based on professional Occupational Therapy rehabilitation and health models.


In the list give on Page 5 of areas that prevent suicidal behaviour I not that none are available to me or the majority of people I know.  I’m sure a few people must have access to these as the media like to put these people on TV as examples of their success – but they are very few and far between.  Most of the current organisations in these areas are choosing the least unwell and most supported people to help, rather than those in the worst cases – what I call the TOO HARD BASKET CASES, like myself.


From multiple discussions I can assure the readers of my submission that Maori and Pacific Island people treat their suicidal even worse than Pakeha – it is a result of neo-liberal radicalisation which isn’t race specific.  I won’t go into my assessment of why they are worse, that would take pages and scientific/psychological analysis that many reading this will not understand.  I do hope I get the opportunity in future to address this however and get Maori and Pacific people the professional treatment care and rehabilitation they are entitled to under the Whare Tapa Wha and other European? Rehabilitation models.  Models that are the opposite of neo-liberal terrorism.


 Years of changes to how suicidal people are treated by police have resulted in even more extreme persecution.  Suicidal people are stripped naked by police as part of their policy – a policy that was not scrutinised under Bill of Rights laws and continues to be used to degrade, intimidate and harass suicidal people.


Suicidal people are most dealt with by police and most of them treat suicidal people as murderers.  Recently on a TV programme about police dogs an officer went in search of a suicidal woman, he found her curled up beside a fence distraught and stood there for many minutes with his dog on a leash barking at her while backup arrived.  She was then handcuffed (which hurt) and put in police car.


I can’t recount all the appalling situations I have seen while in the cells after being arrested for protesting about mental health services – or I will become triggered and I’m struggling to get through this submission and intend to self-harm, binge and vomit when I am through.  Self-harm is the way you cope with ongoing persecution and criminal/medical neglect.  It is a completely normal response to severe trauma and criminal neglect, whether perpetrated by family, community or government.


Although being physically assaulted by police is difficult, being insulted, degraded and threatened with violence I think is worse.  Then of course when you make formal complaints you are discredited and denied justice because YOU ARE MENTALLY ILL AND THEREFORE AUTOMATICALLY TREATED AS A LIAR.


There is comment on Page 6 about social and justice sectors – these are currently being used to persecute people after years of neo-liberal terrorist austerity.  Access to justice is increasingly difficult as highlighted by the Law Society and Justice Winkelman in reports I have read.  That people like myself cannot get legal assistance, when we are disabled and mostly incapable of representing ourselves or defending ourselves legally is part of the neo-liberal terrorism of poor, that all countries experience.


What is being done doesn’t prevent suicide it perpetrates it.  I know for a fact Chelsea Brunton committed suicide due to her ongoing issues within the family court system – that is what she told her friends and that is why she walked out of the mental health unit (that of course weren’t helping her) and hung herself.  I am repeatedly dragged through the court system for my legal protests and screaming for ACC/health care I am entitled to, it has caused me significant harm and trauma.  I almost threw myself in front of vehicles while trying to cross the road to get to court when forced to defend myself on wilful trespass charges of Masterton hospital, for legally protesting.  My ex-counsellor will confirm what happened, because I phoned her and told her what had happened and she managed to get me through it so I didn’t commit suicide at that point. 


After winning my case I was told by a lawyer I could get compensation for what Wairarapa DHB had put me through, but only if I had money to pay him.  Letters do the DHB telling them what happened and asking for compensation were responded to with the most vile bigotry and hatred.



Is in fact driving more and more people to violence, dysfunction, addiction and suicide – there are people within our government who know this is happening and allowing it – which is highly illegal of course.

Vision – lol using Maori phrases to tell lies about how we treat people in New Zealand looks good but it is extremely insulting to people like me who are being persecuted by other sectors of the government.


Reminds me of sitting in front of my WINZ case manager when I moved to Wainuiomata for a while to try and get help and work.  I had never been so broke and so traumatised by my living situation, I was begging for more money because I couldn’t live.  Behind her was an entire wall of this huge room (where everybody could see everybody else) with a mural of people on it saying Te Tangata Te Tangata Te Tangata.  When I asked the case manager if she could live on what I was getting she said no.

I looked over at the young woman with a baby on her knee also crying and distraught, being dealt with by another case manager.  The open offices are used to degrade you as much as possible so you won’t cry and upset staff.  You can hear everybody’s conversations, it is extremely humiliating.  She was saying how she didn’t have enough money to live and would have to go back to her abusive partner if she didn’t get it.


Pae Ora

Just because you give something a Maori name doesn’t make it better than the professional treatment care rehabilitation and justice people like me are entitled to under Westminister/European law.  My ancestors were just as caring of their people as Maori are of theirs.  Its not about culture its about the corruption of rich and powerful who HAVE ALWAYS ended up persecuting weak and poor.  That’s why we have Westminster Law – which Maori signed the Treaty of Waitangi in order to come under because they also believed in it.  Not realising of course those who administered Westminster Law were mostly corrupt and only applied it to the rich and used it against the poor.

I studied rehabilitation, was impressed with Whare Tapa Wha, have begged for this to be part of my current ACC rehabilitation – I have been ignored and refused all care instead.  I won two ACC reviews in 2010 saying my extensive care of 2009 was supposed to be reinstated, it is now 2017 and still ACC refuse – saying it is my fault I don’t have care.  Something that bizarre and they tell police and others I just don’t want help on a regular basis as well – yet when I have tried so many times in the past to access it I am refused and increasing phobias and impairments related to my lack of treatment and worsening stress disorder are completely ignored – even when I know under Human Rights and Bill of Rights laws they must be adhered to.


The outcome of the previous strategy has been to increase suicide, dysfunction, violence and addiction according to news reports.  People who write these reports say it is to stop suicide but I know for a fact there are extremely corrupt, immoral and violently negligent people within our government and parliament who know exactly what these policies are doing to suicidal people.  I have made formal complaints of terrorism about these people to the appropriate authorities and been told they don’t deal with terrorism by government.  Yet another check on power that is being denied those of us who screaming for justice, welfare and health care we are entitled to under multiple laws.


Pathways to hell, created by our government and neo-liberal terrorist ideologies cannot be turned around by marketing, the likes of this document.  Saying in a document that government aren’t going to do this when they do is another insult and gross miscarriage of justice, it works for neo-liberal terrorists as an excellent form of propaganda as well.


Page 8 and another Maori phrase and pretty picture that means absolutely nothing and is not implemented in any way.


Legally this ‘framework’ suicide strategy is a legal document where the government promises to do what they say in it, but they don’t of course and any attempt to get ACC, mental health or the NZ government in front of a judge to challenge their lies is impossible.  Tony Ellis tried it last year re three men being tortured by mental heatlh services, he still has no decision made and its been months.  He had to take the extreme step of trying to prosecute the Attorney-General for refusing to allow the three men access to justice and protection of torture laws.  I myself have tried to take the government to court under torture and imperial laws, I was refused, saying I was misusing the law and being vindictive.  I was not misusing the law, I am a layperson and could not get a lawyer and I was telling the truth.


Since that time I have been assaulted by High Court security for going there and demanding a lawyer, which I cannot get for my civil/human rights and torture issues.  It is psychological torture to tell a person constantly they are going to receive health care, then refusing them same – and refusing them professional health care.


Page 8 is where the repetition starts to get extremely obvious, pathetic and insulting.


Building positive wellbeing – while successive governments have been creating ever increasing adversity – and the two biggest political parties to not intend to change that for the poorest people.  Labour won’t do it because it will cause unemployment if we help people the way they should be.


Neo-liberals destroy families, for 30 years they have been driving people who can’t find work to Australia and other countries – while leaving behind the poorest and the richest.  They weaken communities as those with everything they need, safe stable homes and jobs start attacking those without these things.  I know this because I speak about what is happening to me and so many others and I get discriminated against and attacked for it.


 To not have a safe stable home when you are a human being in a rich country is a gross violation of human rights and criminal law if you are disabled.  EVERY PERSON should have a right to stand upon this earth without it costing them money they don’t have and/or not given the opportunity to earn.  I have never met a disabled person who doesn’t want to work.


At a recent workshop I attended by Workbridge it was clear that people who have intermittent disabilities – like mental health, who the ones who can’t get work.  At a recent protest about Bob Jones outside his office his two staff’s first insult was get a job and the second you’re a nutter.  Please refer to my Regional Rehabilitation Centres & Regional Mental Health Facilities on my website.  These are what should be happening according to law and this strategy.


Supporting people in distress –


Should not be the responsibility of families friends and community, this causes significant trauma to all involved.  Suicidal people are required to have the professional treatment care and rehabilitation they are entitled to under multiple laws.  Dumping what our neo-liberal governments have created in social dysfunction on the communities they are harming is corruption and grossly irresponsible – criminal in fact.


I don’t want to go into how badly I am treated by people for being suicidal as it will trigger too much trauma and I have several pages to go in my submission.  Although much of the 25 pages are just repeats on the first 10 and mean absolutely nothing.


Support people after suicide attempt – OK I am going to have to recount one of my worst experiences, which I have still not dealt with – YIPPEE for me – as I stab my pen into my forearm to cope with the trauma I am going to be forced to relive (and parts I won’t be able to put in here are still coming into my mind which are horrendous and involve children).


So I had to leave the first address I moved to in Wainuiomata due to threats of violence and the woman putting knives around the house after she turned very nasty – she was a friend (badly abused and neglected child/woman).  I moved into board with two people who I knew had mental health issues but seemed OK.  Six weeks into my stay the woman attempted suicide by taking all her diabetes medication……………………………( I want to die I wish I was dead, I don’t want to tell these stories over and over again with no result)…………………………….. She was in intensive care in Wellington hospital for three days.  I spent my last $10 taking her mentally ill partner to the hospital to see her. 

I left to go stay with a friend back in Carterton, to try and deal with what had happened, I returned Friday of that week to find her at home.  I was shocked, mental health staff at Lower Hutt hospital had said she could return home, without any consultation with me – and it was well known I had mental health and suicide issues.  I tried to phone and made a complaint but it was ignored and I couldn’t get through to the people who had made this horrendously incompetent and irresponsible decision.

She came home with no services, no mental health worker turned up, she couldn’t see her psychiatrist for a month.  Me and Tom were supposed to care for her, she smoked cigarettes all day and overate, using her diabetes pen when she ate food she shouldn’t.  She became even more controlling of Tom and bossed him around all day.  He had been too scared to call the ambulance when she had attempted suicide as her family had told him they would beat him up if she tried again.

The same family dropped their young children to be babysat by her less than a week after her suicide attempt.  I was terrified for the kids, they were 4 & 6, she made them sit in front of the TV the entire time – they cried when their mother left them.  I tried to amuse them because I’m good with kids but the woman got angry with me.  I took them to the park once but she didn’t like it.  Those poor kids, that poor woman.  That is the support people get after they attempt suicide, this is what happens in the real world and it still does.

I have another person I got to know who was highly suicidal and Andrew Curtis-Cody was telling people she was an attention seeker and liar.  Police put her in prison for three months – not even her family knew where she was – they thought she was in a mental health unit but she was in Arohata – how many other women are sent to jail for being suicidal.  There has been no change to this, it is still happening, the people who read and write this report know it is and do absolutely nothing.  This woman comes from an abusive family and is forced to continue living with her disturbed parents because there is nowhere else to live.


Every time the authors of this report dump government responsibility for seriously ill suicidal people on their families I won’t make further comment – what is the point.   I would like to point out however that many of the people I know who are suicidal have abusive families, who somehow get more support and acknowledgement from government, society, community and others than those they have often driven to suicide.  My family were hopeless and often said revolting things to me about being a loser and not working when they said I could – having not ever read any of the psychiatric reports I had that said differently.  But really they were victims too.


In fact the plethora of help for friends and family of suicidal victims has become obscene – because these are the people that often let the victim down.  But of course the big picture of this is that neo-liberal terrorists in government perpetrate this dysfunction in society to create jobs – to replace manufacturing jobs we once had.  Along with the extensive welfare culture we once had, which wasn’t often needed because we had such a socially aware and supportive government and society.

As more suicidal support for community has been implemented the persecution, degradation, discrimination and marginalisation of suicidal people has vastly increased.  There are people who know what is happening and do nothing to stop it – the majority of course don’t realise the serious harm they are causing – these are mostly poorly qualified or informed mental health professionals (especially GPs) who get so much power in this industry, when they are the ones making money out of it.


The information systems government is developing is being used to persecute disabled, mentally injured abuse victims, mentally ill and suicidal even more than ever.  There is a current programme of denying mentally ill women/parents support services and stealing their children instead.  Often to put in the hands of abusive family members who then get paid for having them.   I know of several instances of this and it is destroying families.


I am still only at page 9 of the Strategy and up to page 37 of my submission.  It is getting more and more difficult every hour to keep going.  However I must, nothing will change if I don’t keep telling the truth over and over and over again.  This is my role as a United Nations Civil Society Actor – a role I am persecuted/degraded/discredited by police, justice, health providers, leaders and members of my community for doing.   Which of course is a serious violation of my civil and political rights, sadly the United Nations also refuse to believe what I am saying and I cannot get a lawyer or appropriate person to put together the proof of what is happening to me.




My website solutions page shows what should be done and is not, my website shows all the currently laws being violated to ensure this vision is not turned into action.  ACC and Paula Rebstock are leaders in stopping disabled mentally injured abused men women and children from getting extensive rehabilitation and care they are entitled to under law.  It is a sick sick organisation and those who control care for abuse victims are worse than any perpetrator of the abuse they have suffered.


Again government organisations controlled by neo-liberal terrorists who fundamentally believe all health & social issues should be funded and controlled by charity are behind this continued obsession with community being responsible to the horrendous harm their cult ideologies are causing.

How we need to work –


Government need to provide professional rehabilitation models, human living environments (ie safe stable housing in community person identifies/comes from) – ACTIVITIES doesn’t even make sense.  I can assure you NO SUICIDAL PERSON EVER GOES TO A suicide prevention ACTIVITY.  In fact marketing and activities government and community currently do make me even more suicidal and self-harm, they are so hypocritical and just lies – there are no professional services for majority of us and that’s a fact.  Neither is their safe stable housing or enough money to live rotting on welfare with dignity.  The assault on human dignity of disabled and poor by neo-liberal terrorists in our society is leading cause of suicide, violence, addiction and murder from my extensive study.


Bringing up the Treaty is offensive – this is not a race issue it is a class issue.  Maori suffered most at hands of neo-liberal terrorism because they were biggest part of poor working class.  They also have not adapted well to the new jobs we are supposed to do slaving for rich people, in call centres, making lattes, in welfare, health etc – rather than doing meaningful manufacturing work that was interesting and had a strong communal aspect.


Maori just being treated same as Pakeha in regard to suicide, which is of course Article III of the treaty.  In fact from personal experience Maori get more services, because a counsellor I had in Wainuiomata sat across from me in an extremely distraught state and said she hoped I wasn’t offended if she asked if I had any Maori heritage because she could get me some help if I did.  I didn’t – my spiritual beliefs and connection to the earth aren’t counted because I am fourth generation English immigrant.


Areas we need to work on.


The idea that mental health care is evidence based makes me want to be sick – that is not true, we used to have safe stable homes for people, jobs and enough money to live with dignity on welfare when disabled – that has been taken away over the past 30 years.  


The corruption by extremely wealthy drug companies has been a terrible and harmful experiment, where human contact and methods of support that worked were taken away in favour of medication.  There is a world wide backlash on the abuse of psychotropic drugs – which although helpful to some people are extremely detrimental and cause suicide in others.  They are about as damaging as phone counselling by people who hang up when they realise your living situation is extremely traumatising and there is nothing they can do about that.


Area that needs to be worked on is justice for people disabled by abuse, trauma and mental illness.  So they can take cases against our government and NGOs in the way they are experimenting on people and not applying professional treatment and rehabilitation models.


On page 10 I found the comment about how charities were going to fund this extremely inappropriate.  Again this is a neo-liberal cult ideology that has no basis in fact and causes extreme poverty and huge gaps in service provision.  The government and community currently cause the suicide this strategy says it is trying to prevent and here they are saying the same people should fix what they create and what government choose to do to people.


Charity and religious organisations SHOULD NEVER EVER be involved in professional care of mentally ill people EVER.  Churches are the worst exploiters of mentally injured and ill, making them work for free or be rejected if they don’t.  I don’t want to go into how badly Salvation Army and churches have treated me, but it has caused huge problems in my community with the gossip and lies they spread.  I have tried to address and resolve the issues because they are one related to the Privacy Act but they refuse to do it and I can’t get a lawyer to help me – I am so traumatised by what was done.  I would have had a safe home to live in if the Salvation Army worker hadn’t lied about her contact with me and told a great aunt of mine who then refused me one of the dozens of homes she had.  She’s dead now and her estate is managed by her family who always despised me and don’t want to know about my struggles – because I JUST DON’T WANT HELP apparently.  I couldn’t afford their huge rents now anyway.


Targeted activities of groups might suicide is a joke – I am suicidal regularly, I self harm, bulimic, etc etc etc – I GET NO SERVICES.  I’m told I should have services, but when I try to access them I’m rejected over and over again.  This of course is psychological torture, which people like Andrew Curtis-Cody and those at ACC who are refusing to reinstate my care really enjoy on some depraved level.


As we all know prisons are now mental health facilities after neo-liberals drove so many out of mental health facilities and shut them down.  That of course is persecution of people on the basis of their disability – but justice agencies and judiciary in New Zealand refuse to address this gross miscarriage of justice.  With all the bottom of the cliff services, every day I see on Corrections twitter feed the services criminals are getting, while me and other victims get NOTHING or worse.  Another gross miscarriage of justice and insult to victims of violent crimes.


 I see worthless suicidal abused men women & children who have white skin colour are again going to be excluded from any new funding or services – YIPPEE for us.  But then as services are abusive I feel sorry for those who are going to be subjected to them – or maybe they will get the help and homes they should have.  But for me and others it will be more suffering and more suicide.


This obsession with money and targeting, when all people should have the health care they are entitled to is sickening and has done absolutely nothing to improve services.  It just makes it worse for those who aren’t targeted.


Tailoring activities – should read, applying professional rehabilitation models using a multi-disciplinary team of health professionals and community organisations.  Obviously nobody who participated in the writing of this strategy has any idea what Occupational Therapy is and how it works.


Our corrupt government tried to use OTs in WINZ to provide services but they failed because the people were completely overwhelmed and could do nothing about unsafe living situations, homelessness and complex needs that needed addressing.  Now they have got an Australian company to provide some services to mentally ill people to get them back to work through some sort of social share scheme – which of course will not work either.  I contacted this organisation recently and the person couldn’t even tell me the rehabilitation model they were using – because they aren’t using one.


Another point to make is most people are terrified of mental health services – as I am.  They are more powerful than police and can persecute you without restraint using medication.  They can lock you up for as long as they like without legal recourse – I trust police more than mental health services and that’s saying something (after being assaulted and victimised by police).


The group of CYFS kids are being denied the extensive treatment care and rehabilitation they are entitled to under ACC.  Corrupt neo-liberals in government have pushed this onto Social Workers in CYFS, which is extremely inappropriate and not legal.  Social workers should be part of a multi-disciplinary team but not be doing counselling, psychology work or anything like that, they should just arrange housing, welfare etc.  This is the most major failure and abuse of the current experimental system.


I cant go into the stories I have heard of first hand accounts of what is happening to mentally ill people being persecuted in the justice system and jails – it is too traumatising for me.  But I hope to one day have a voice in this area and get these disabled people out of prisons and into the homes and treatment they are entitled to under law.


Page 12, all just rhetoric and repeat, means absolutely nothing.  The corrupt and ignorant training of health providers is the biggest cause of suicide in this country – as we see from all the people who committing suicide inside mental health and justice facilities.


People are being trained to harm not help people, they are trained to drug people and ignore the fact their living situations are a significant cause of their suicidality.


I bet more help will come for families who are often instrumental in the suicide of someone – that’s the easiest thing to do.




Saying the same thing over and over again doesn’t make it right, or professional, or valid.  Repeating the same thing over and over again doesn’t make it work, when it obviously isn’t working.


Please don’t do more marketing and tell more lies about people being depressed when it is in fact severe trauma they are suffering as a result of neo-liberal terrorism of poorest by richest and all that goes with that.  Building social awareness is creating more bigotry and hatred not less – I know, I live that nightmare every day.


Marketing campaigns make me want to smash my TV and keep me at home in bed on days like White Ribbon day or I flip out at the gross hypocrisy of government propaganda around this issue.  Just because you marketing that there are services and help doesn’t mean you actually do it – this is what is happening in other neo-liberal countries as well.  Governments are underfunding services they say they provide, violating laws and nobody does anything to stop it.  People like me try and end up being shafted and persecuted by police and justice agencies for legally protesting.


Any attempt I make a discussing suicide in the community is met with abuse and police intimidation – which of course violates my civil and political rights and proves yet again we no longer live in a democracy – which follows word of law.


I was gobsmacked when I saw it is part of the strategy to control New Zealand media and demand they only do stories of people who are not very unwell and overcome suicidal behaviour.  While as I know from all my begging media to tell my story and how bad the mental health system is, that they adhere to this government demand and censor what I know, do, say and what is happening to me.  Google my Journalists are Maggots poem, it sets out what I know to be true about New Zealand mainstream corporate media.


They block me at any opportunity when I tell them what they and other neo-liberals are doing is driving people to suicide violence addiction and murder.


I tried to talk to some people after Chelsea’s suicide couple of weeks ago, the conversation caused me more trauma.  Apparently as soon as a person has decided to suicide there is no stopping them, so there is nothing we can do.  This from a woman with a house, job, home, husband and everything she could possibly want in her life – and so do her kids.   Unlike what Chelsea had, comments that she was always an emotional girl didn’t help me one bit.  Being a sensitive, kind, loving child or person shouldn’t be an excuse for driving someone to suicide or not helping them.  These people are valued by society in other ways, but not by our current leaders and majority of population.


Someone on social media said recently how suicidal people were just weak.  My reply was, do you think a car accident, illness, rape or repeated violence makes a person strong?  Given 20% of poorest NZers experience 80% of the crime according to statistics it is reasonable to assume these people are becoming more and more traumatised.  Stress disorders becoming compounding when there is no space or place to heal in between traumas.  Please google Compounding Complex PTSD.  Many people I meet on social media don’t even realise they have CPTSD as our corrupt ignorant poorly trained neo-liberal mental health community like to call people’s dysfunction all sorts of other things.  This makes their dysfunction of their own making and those in power think it absolves them of responsibility.


 They talk about health literacy, I have been studying stress disorders, disability, law, human rights etc etc full time (mostly 7 days a week) for years.  I went to university and studied health, disability and rehabilitation where I learnt all the language.  It made me more suicidal when I realised even more acutely that mentally injured abuse victims and mentally ill were being left out of the disability definition.  That there are significant areas of health care people like myself are excluded from on the basis of discrimination and the type of disability they have.  When I challenged human rights organisations about this I was told government were allowed to because they did it to all people with mental health issues.

Talking about suicide in schools just traumatises children and creates more stigma, a child who has had a well balanced upbringing with little trauma will never understand a suicidal child – because you never contemplate suicide and don’t know how others can.  I had never contemplated suicide until 2 years after the rape when I had suffered such severe medical neglect and discrimination/abuse by ACC, government, health providers, family and friends.

People who suffer childhood abuse often do not understand life without being suicidal – I do because I wasn’t raped and traumatised until I was in my 30s.  I know the difference between functional and dysfunctional, that is why I fight so hard to expose this gross miscarriage of justice.  How can you have a health and welfare system that is abusive towards the most vulnerable desperate and often deserving people in our society.  When you have a physical injury or acceptable health issue like Cancer or heart disease you are not insulted, degraded and harmed when receiving or asking for health care you are entitled to – like you are in trauma and other mental health issues.



Still blaming families and society for social problems caused by rampant and abusive neo-liberal economic and social ideologies. 

Councils are some of the worst, Carterton council are interesting, they charge such high rents for public space no poor or disabled person could afford to hire them to have meetings.  They are building another community house but I don’t know why because they have now sold off all social housing and rich city people and foreigners are moving to Carterton therefore driving disabled and poor out of the community. 


It is extremely bizarre watching the flashing community sign talking about food bank being open 11.30-12pm weekdays when nobody I know would use those people.  I was humiliated and degraded so badly when I asked for some food a few years ago I would never ever go back ever.  I don’t want to go into details as I become traumatised, I did try and make a complaint and get it sorted but the local Mayor John Booth and others refused to listen to anything I had to say and just ignored my complaints.


Regarding bullying please google my poem I’m Being Bullied – JR Murphy.  Apparently you can only bully children not adults and of course no government or social agency would bully anybody – very sad people think this way.  The significant amount of bullying I have been subjected to has significantly increased my suicidal thoughts because I can’t get away from it – unless I live under my bed and don’t come out.  You only need to see my police file and my only criminal conviction at 52 is wilful trespass of the Law Society for going there and refusing to leave until I got a lawyer to stop ACC and NZ government agencies from persecuting me and denying me professional health care and welfare I am entitled to by law.


CHURCHES SHOULD NOT BE INVOLVED IN PROVIDING MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES – AND SHOULD ONLY BE INVOLVED IF SUICIDAL PERSON IS SUPPORTED BY OCCUPATIONAL THERAPIST OR MENTAL HEALTH WORKER – until it is established that the church is safe.  It is a sad fact that many churches harbour sexual abusers, in New Zealand most of these organisations were not investigated or prosecuted for it like other countries.  Most likely that has something to do with our community leaders being involved with churches – Bill English is a strict Catholic from all accounts.  And for anybody who knows the bible proof that the devil is in charge in these last days.


Churches exploit desperate people and demand they provide care to others when they themselves need help.  I’ve had it happen and watched it happen, then when you can’t live up to their demands they discredit and gossip about you in the community – causing you even more trauma and discrimination.  I hope to one day have the opportunity to get what has happened to me exposed in media and put before a judge in order for them to be punished for what they have done to me.


Strengthen systems will involve even more persecution by police and justice agencies at the hands of systems that are based on experimental and abusive ideologies of neo-liberals and right wing extremists.  Nothing referred to on page 18 actually happens – even though the previous Strategy said the same thing – things have only got worse, much worse.


Also using people who are mentally ill and issue ridden to try and support vulnerable unwell suicidal people is extremely inappropriate and abusive.  Would you be happy with your heart surgeon performing an operation when you knew he could drop dead at any moment from heart failure?


Peer support only works if the peers are well healed and stable people – most are not, most have serious unresolved issues.  Many have extensive support systems and trying to support people who don’t just makes them hate the suicidal person.  I recall one of the many meetings I went to where mental health services were explaining their services – which of course I had no access to.  There were around 80 people in the room, when I asked the woman beside me why nobody was question the people up the front she said most of us are NGOs we can’t say anything.  Those NGOs had bought their favourite well supported clients with them and they weren’t saying anything either.  When I spoke up about just how bad services were I was abused across the room by a mentally ill man, telling me I was a liar and everybody was very nice.  It was extremely disturbing and those people who were up the front of that meeting are still running Wairarapa mental health today and killing people, persecuting people, etc.


When you go to a decent doctor or health professional about being suicidal or having a life-threatening stress disorder usually initially they are very nice and do their best to help.  Once they realise how much support you need and how it is not available, plus the abusive situation you are living in they then turn on you.  I don’t want to say more than that as I have had so many appalling situations happening with GPs particularly.  Currently I am unable to see the GP, who is one of the most insulting, degrading and bigoted women I have ever met.  I didn’t have a choice, my previous doctor left and ————-  no I can’t tell details.  But I can say I have other serious health issues, including my mental health and I cannot see a doctor.  The doctor, ACC mental health and the government know this, they know I need my mental health/ACC care reinstated so I have a support worker to come with me to medical appointments but they refuse to reinstate.  I  made complaints about discrimination by the current doctor and was discredited and ignored.  My Health and Disability Commission advocate has tried repeatedly to get me help to no avail.  My complaints to the HDC are ignored and I am discredited for telling the truth.


I cannot see anything different but the repeated rhetoric and lies in the rest of the Strategy and I can’t take any more repeating what I know in response to this appalling piece of propaganda and marketing so I will end my submission.


Please refer to the following documents on my website.  If you require me to send these by email please advise and I will hunt them out in the bowels of my hard drive.  These documents are to form part of my submission.


Last by not least what a waste of a day, off to self-harm to cope, it will take me days to get over this, having to bring up so much of the discrimination and corruption I see and have seen.  I truly hope and pray with all my heart those harming me and others and causing this nightmare of hell that is driving people to suicide get the punishment and karma they deserve.




This has rehabilitation models, Whare Tapa Wha, Te Whariki, business plans and other essential information that needs to be part of this submission.




This page proves what I am saying about the laws being violated and the extent of corruption and criminal neglect by our legislature, executive and judiciary in the area of mental health.  We do not live in a democracy with a separation of powers and under word of law, of that I am entirely sure.

I hope you all rot in hell for what you have allowed and continue to perpetrate against disabled abused men women and children, suicidal and mentally ill.


30 May 2017




Note if you phone police about my truthful comments about suicide they will only phone me, because they are not allowed to come to my house any longer as I had become so traumatised by their constant invasions of my home.  I was having nightmares and checking every time I heard a car in the street it got so bad.  Anyway that is another story – police should not be my enemy, I am a single disabled woman I need there protection not to be terrified of them.




I am too traumatised to proof read what I have written and need to send it, so I apologise for any grammatical or spelling errors, please don’t let them detract from the facts and ideas I have presented.